i'm 22 and starting to see marriage taking off around me...

[trelvis tha thrilla]

Im 26. Not married, no kids. Doesnt bother me. Most of my friends are married, alot of them already have kids. Im for marriage, just not in any rush. Dont let other dictate your life. If there comes a point you feel like getting married, then do it. If not, dont do it. Stop worrying about what society thinks.

 

[bruza]

Originally Posted by Rocky437

Originally Posted by bruza

29 here and my career is VERY well underway. 

Years ago, I set 30 as my age to get married.  Nowadays I couldn't tell you.  It really doesn't excite me.  My gf just moved back to UT last week (I live in WA) and we still need to decide how that will panout .  She is 31 but still in school. 

I'm at the point now where I could get married but it would have to be "right".  I refuse to get married if the chick is not established.  I have worked hard to get where I am (already well into the 6 figure range) and will not settle. 

Several of my friends have not married yet but I see that changing in the next 2-3 years. 

What do you do?

I work in the energy industry. 
  

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by Lou Baton

You're not alone. I was with my ex from age 22 til 29. I always knew that I never wanted to get married but I did it anyway. It only lasted a year. I say I'll never do it again but I get told all the time I'll change my mind. And hey, maybe I will but I am perfectly content spending my life in a monogamous relationship without a piece of paper to prove my love.

What went wrong??...I always wonder about these long term relationships that should be able to handle a marriage and literally don't last a year.....you lasted 7 years not married and couldn't work through 1 year of marriage...I'm seriously curious bro, if you don't mind.

 

[o fenomeno]

marriage at a young age is a mistake in 9 out of 10 cases. seriously, what is the benefit to getting married at such a young age? i can't think of one.

 

[lou baton]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by Lou Baton

You're not alone. I was with my ex from age 22 til 29. I always knew that I never wanted to get married but I did it anyway. It only lasted a year. I say I'll never do it again but I get told all the time I'll change my mind. And hey, maybe I will but I am perfectly content spending my life in a monogamous relationship without a piece of paper to prove my love.

What went wrong??...I always wonder about these long term relationships that should be able to handle a marriage and literally don't last a year.....you lasted 7 years not married and couldn't work through 1 year of marriage...I'm seriously curious bro, if you don't mind.

Alcoholism and depression. (not me)  But I didn't want to get married even during the good years.   

 

[703 hwy]

White man with 4 ex wives and six children = ok

Black girl unmarried with 2 kids = not okay

Marriage is overrated in the US. Don't get married just cause.

 

[ksteezy]

Were these problems evident throughout the whole 7 years or did they just manifest after marriage?...you should marry when you feel your relationship is at its strongest, is supposed to be a time of joy man.

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by 703 Hwy

White man with 4 ex wives and six children = ok

Black girl unmarried with 2 kids = not okay

Marriage is overrated in the US. Don't get married just cause.

This is by far the dumbest thing posted in this thread...how did you even arrive at that conclusion?

 

[wisepharoah]

26 here and have absolutely no interest in getting married. My lifestyle is not condusive to marriage or even a relationship for that matter. Very big ambitions, very intense focus and a general thirst to travel the world extensively and experience everything places have to offer............. including the women. I've never been one to follow rules or be concerned with what "society" deems as natural and "right". If a woman and I are to really and completely fall in love with one another I don't a need a judge, legal documentation and joint accounts to validate that spiritual bond and if we are to grow apart due to our life paths taking us in seperate directions out of mutual respect Id love for us both to walk away clean. I'd rather have a child or children with someone rather than be married honestly and I don't want children anytime soon. I think its best I spread my vested seed all over the world and polinate the planet with kings and Queens of the future. Man 2.0 if you will. Inside of my scrotum lays dormant the next evolutionary step for mankind. My holy yoke contains the very essence of men and women able to move things with their minds and communicate with animals and !$@%. My semen will birth X-Men................................

 

[703 hwy]

I was basically saying its ok for a white guy to be married 20 times, as long as he's married but as soon as a black girl has a baby outta wedlock she's the worst thing in the world. Other than healthcare benefits and a few financial benefits marriage is simply another scam in the US.

 

[lou baton]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Were these problems evident throughout the whole 7 years or did they just manifest after marriage?...you should marry when you feel your relationship is at its strongest, is supposed to be a time of joy man.

Present all 7 years.  Some years were great others weren't.  I'm not against marriage; it's great for a lot of people.  I just feel that marriage is a piece of paper and a name change.  Like I said, monogamy isn't an issue for me and I want to have kids I just don't feel marriage is a necessity.  I'll be 30 in a week and maybe some day I'll want to get married again but it's never been a priority for me.  If you love someone you don't have to prove it by getting married.  That's just how I feel anyway.

 

[me no pass]

Originally Posted by solefood229

Alot of people I went to highschool with gotta married and had kids most of them are divorced except for maybe one or two couples, I'm 24 by the way

I'm not against marriage you just gotta find the right one and not do it just because everyone else is.

I know a chick who is 23 and married a older guy he's around 34-35, he's a cool dude I was surprised she got married because she was a super club head, they've only been married since Nov and shorty is already smashing her ex, it's sad to see because dude loves ol girl, I'm talking moved her into a new crib, new car the whole nine. Dude is getting stationed in Korea at the beginning of May, but his wife doesn't wanna leave talking bout she doesn't leave her job, this chick is a cashier at Belk

Military dudes stay losing

I see myself only getting married once, so before I do it I making sure she is the one I could never see myself leaving

I think the biggest problem is our generation doesn't take marriage as seriously as past generations did and treat it like it's a casual boyfriend girlfriend relationship

military dudes do be taking crazy Ls

Originally Posted by WISEPHAROAH

26 here and have absolutely no interest in getting married. My lifestyle is not condusive to marriage or even a relationship for that matter. Very big ambitions, very intense focus and a general thirst to travel the world extensively and experience everything places have to offer............. including the women. I've never been one to follow rules or be concerned with what "society" deems as natural and "right". If a woman and I are to really and completely fall in love with one another I don't a need a judge, legal documentation and joint accounts to validate that spiritual bond and if we are to grow apart due to our life paths taking us in seperate directions out of mutual respect Id love for us both to walk away clean. I'd rather have a child or children with someone rather than be married honestly and I don't want children anytime soon. I think its best I spread my vested seed all over the world and polinate the planet with kings and Queens of the future. Man 2.0 if you will. Inside of my scrotum lays dormant the next evolutionary step for mankind. My holy yoke contains the very essence of men and women able to move things with their minds and communicate with animals and !$@%. My semen will birth X-Men................................

son wuuuuuuuuuuuut

 

[thunderchunk69]

Originally Posted by ME NO PASS

Originally Posted by solefood229

Alot of people I went to highschool with gotta married and had kids most of them are divorced except for maybe one or two couples, I'm 24 by the way

I'm not against marriage you just gotta find the right one and not do it just because everyone else is.

I know a chick who is 23 and married a older guy he's around 34-35, he's a cool dude I was surprised she got married because she was a super club head, they've only been married since Nov and shorty is already smashing her ex, it's sad to see because dude loves ol girl, I'm talking moved her into a new crib, new car the whole nine. Dude is getting stationed in Korea at the beginning of May, but his wife doesn't wanna leave talking bout she doesn't leave her job, this chick is a cashier at Belk

Military dudes stay losing

I see myself only getting married once, so before I do it I making sure she is the one I could never see myself leaving

I think the biggest problem is our generation doesn't take marriage as seriously as past generations did and treat it like it's a casual boyfriend girlfriend relationship

military dudes do be taking crazy Ls

 

[troymcclure]

anyone have an ex get married? Dated a girl for 21/2 yrs, cheated on her like a dummy, she was married within 10 months. We both worked in the same complex at the time and I saw her and stonefaced her and she was bringing up some of our most intimate moments and how she fell in love with me but I had two sides: a sublime side, a side she didn't understand and said"well, you always talked about getting married..."

.
I'm not about to wreck no marriage though, I learned a lot from cheating (be better at it).

she was fine though but

I dun rele cah wuh ppl say I dun rele wah wuh dem wah do

 

[All Ready]

funny cause i just saw my dude randomly in a champs and he was pulling this chick who's fiance is in the service

the men see it as they're providing for their family and serving the country

the women just see it as he's being selfish and should've been by her side instead of going

i understand what the women go thru tho, they have a physical need too no matter how much they love you somebody is gonna end up touching it

not in all cases but more than enough to take notice

 

[mr jordan04]

Originally Posted by zk1MPLS

Yup. Around here, it happens most of the time to couples who got knocked up.

 

[crunchyblack9]

Dont do it until you are about 28! Trust.

 

[eight2one]

I see it everywhere, Im 23 and alot people are on their second kid now.....

I have no kids, nor serious relationships...maybe my late 20s?

 

[teamjordan79]

Originally Posted by WISEPHAROAH

If a woman and I are to really and completely fall in love with one another I don't a need a judge, legal documentation and joint accounts to validate that spiritual bond and if we are to grow apart due to our life paths taking us in seperate directions out of mutual respect Id love for us both to walk away clean.

this. 

but when i say this to ppl, they're like "but you get tax breaks and benefits for being married and having kids" 

 

[ceemcee]

Originally Posted by ricky409

Originally Posted by ceemcee

Yeah, OP mentioned that his girl is "seeing it more" since she's older than him.
Not that she's nagging him about it.

But I feel you completely OP.
My close friends are all unmarried and no kids just like me, but we have those homeboys and homegirls who we're cool with who are starting to settle down.
Starting to have kids.
Starting to look for houses and whatnot.
It freaks us out man, really.
Being married with kids doesn't make you mature.
And not being married, not having kids doesn't make you immature.

but how do you relay this to the people around you?
its like, they think its stepping into adulthood, and if you dont get married, you're just a lil boy.

i'm like, do you SEE the divorce rates in this country??

it seems like people are more concerned about the front end than the long haul.

and the crazy part is EVERYONE thinks that THEIR stuff is different... 

i wonder what the divorce rates are by age... THAT would be an interesting find.

Originally Posted by pacmagic2002

WHy do you have a girl then?

quit acting and either let her go or marry her if its been longer than a year

lettuce try to be cereal here.

I think the best thing to do would just remain calm whhen discussing adulthood with your married friends. If they're true friends, they should understand. If they're the type to attack your personal life or talk about how "we're all getting older or you're gonna be super old by the time you have kids" or whatever other married people throw at you, hit em with the "yeah man you're right, you're probably right. So me and the boys are headin out to Vegas in a month! You DOWN???"

I also agree with you on people buying into the front end of marriage, with no focus on the long haul. "Forever never seems that long until you're grown."

 

[ironman78]

If you want to get married because that "feeling" of love.. then do not.. getting married is more of a rational decision not based on feeling.. because feelings fade..Your marriage license won't. 

But if you decide that you don't want to be alone when you grow old or want to have companionship and kids.. then go ahead. But never ever.. get married because the people around you are and that you are afraid of missing out.. trust me.. you'll regret it.

 

[sneakaprince]

24 as of next week


And was literally jus in y homegirl wedding this weekend... About 2/5 of my real close crew is currently engaged but I ain't sweating it.... Won't get married for at least another 3 years n my girl knows it too much living to love I guess