I'm a New Comedian- Help Me Out-Update-New Vid Page 1-Time Square Comedy

it was actually pretty funny!
smokin.gif
 
Thanks guys so much. All of the feedback helped me out when I went to my open mic tonight. Watching the DVD of my set, the same things that were pointed out were the same things that were on my checklist to work on. I practice 5 to 7 min sets at open mics, but the time goes so much faster when you're actually on stage with a live audience. This was my first month of being a comic but I'm excited to watch my growth each day. Doing this has been a dream of mine for a long time.
 
Thanks guys so much. All of the feedback helped me out when I went to my open mic tonight. Watching the DVD of my set, the same things that were pointed out were the same things that were on my checklist to work on. I practice 5 to 7 min sets at open mics, but the time goes so much faster when you're actually on stage with a live audience. This was my first month of being a comic but I'm excited to watch my growth each day. Doing this has been a dream of mine for a long time.
 
Only read the first 2 pages of replies so far.

It was good overall, I'm no professional critic but I think you've got a lot of potential. I agree and it seems like you know you'll be less nervous and lose the likes and umms. Only other thing was going back and forth between a date with a girl, living with your girlfriend, another girl. I know you're not a %%!%! and maybe I missed that as part of it but it wasn't consistent to me, the transitions weren't there. Small criticisms but the "Fudge" Its seemed a little overused too.
 
Only read the first 2 pages of replies so far.

It was good overall, I'm no professional critic but I think you've got a lot of potential. I agree and it seems like you know you'll be less nervous and lose the likes and umms. Only other thing was going back and forth between a date with a girl, living with your girlfriend, another girl. I know you're not a %%!%! and maybe I missed that as part of it but it wasn't consistent to me, the transitions weren't there. Small criticisms but the "Fudge" Its seemed a little overused too.
 
pretty funny imo

surprisingly so because alot of stuff people post on here that involves themselves somehow are wack.
 
pretty funny imo

surprisingly so because alot of stuff people post on here that involves themselves somehow are wack.
 
good start.  I watch alot of comedy and stand-up.  If this is your passion become a student of the craft.  Don't just tell jokes but become a comedian.  I suggest you rent this documentary on Jerry Seinfeld when he went back to stand-up after Seinfeld.  It shows some good behind the scenes action and just another angle of being on stage.  Anyways back to you.  It was entertaining but I wouldn't say i was laughing.  The only thing that actually made me literally lol was the line about waking up at 4:30 and going to sleep at 6:30 because your girl said so.  Keeping watching yourself and see what works.  I like the inverse dating situation but it needs work.  The whole "im not a *%**!" thing got old quick to me personally.  I'd expand on the living with your girl and her pulling all the strings bit more thats good stuff.  Keep at it though because you were pretty good for a brand new comic.
 
good start.  I watch alot of comedy and stand-up.  If this is your passion become a student of the craft.  Don't just tell jokes but become a comedian.  I suggest you rent this documentary on Jerry Seinfeld when he went back to stand-up after Seinfeld.  It shows some good behind the scenes action and just another angle of being on stage.  Anyways back to you.  It was entertaining but I wouldn't say i was laughing.  The only thing that actually made me literally lol was the line about waking up at 4:30 and going to sleep at 6:30 because your girl said so.  Keeping watching yourself and see what works.  I like the inverse dating situation but it needs work.  The whole "im not a *%**!" thing got old quick to me personally.  I'd expand on the living with your girl and her pulling all the strings bit more thats good stuff.  Keep at it though because you were pretty good for a brand new comic.
 
The second half was much better..did laugh a few times..

Get rid of those "umms" and "likes"

Good stuff though bro
pimp.gif
 
The second half was much better..did laugh a few times..

Get rid of those "umms" and "likes"

Good stuff though bro
pimp.gif
 
I wasn't dying laughing, but it was definitely entertaining. I liked the inverse dating scenario too. A lot could be done with that. Keep working at it and you will get better. Also keep us posted and update the OP of this thread with more of your vids.
 
I wasn't dying laughing, but it was definitely entertaining. I liked the inverse dating scenario too. A lot could be done with that. Keep working at it and you will get better. Also keep us posted and update the OP of this thread with more of your vids.
 
Good start. Everyone is always nervous their 1st time. I liked the premise of the reversed roles when dating but you should try tweaking it a little. There's potential in it. The 2nd half you really picked it up. Besides tweaking the 1st half the only suggest would be slowing down so your punchlines can really sit in with the audience and take the "ums" out. All in all good start though.

Also if you don't already do this: Get a little mini composition book to put in your back pocket (or use your phone) and write down everything that makes you laugh. Especially when your just chilling with your boys. Thats where I get my best stuff.
 
Good start. Everyone is always nervous their 1st time. I liked the premise of the reversed roles when dating but you should try tweaking it a little. There's potential in it. The 2nd half you really picked it up. Besides tweaking the 1st half the only suggest would be slowing down so your punchlines can really sit in with the audience and take the "ums" out. All in all good start though.

Also if you don't already do this: Get a little mini composition book to put in your back pocket (or use your phone) and write down everything that makes you laugh. Especially when your just chilling with your boys. Thats where I get my best stuff.
 
The repeating of "I'm not a *%*$%" and "Cut it out guys I'm telling you guys about my life" isn't working. Idk if it's the delivery or the lines.

And you really gotta slow down and use more pauses especially when you're about to deliver a punch line.

My main problem is that you're kinda using the same tempo throughout the whole set (I guess cuz you're nervous?) so it's hard to tell when you're about to get to the funny parts.

But like everyone else has said you got better towards the end of your set.

You got potential my dude. I'm not trying to get at you at all I just want to help you out so you can potentially blow up as a comic one day and you can give NT a shout out lol.

*edit*

keep us updated

you should post another vid of this set and see if it can get funnier just on improved delivery
 
The repeating of "I'm not a *%*$%" and "Cut it out guys I'm telling you guys about my life" isn't working. Idk if it's the delivery or the lines.

And you really gotta slow down and use more pauses especially when you're about to deliver a punch line.

My main problem is that you're kinda using the same tempo throughout the whole set (I guess cuz you're nervous?) so it's hard to tell when you're about to get to the funny parts.

But like everyone else has said you got better towards the end of your set.

You got potential my dude. I'm not trying to get at you at all I just want to help you out so you can potentially blow up as a comic one day and you can give NT a shout out lol.

*edit*

keep us updated

you should post another vid of this set and see if it can get funnier just on improved delivery
 
Pretty good. Work on your delivery a lil more though. The "umms" were a bit much and should be cut down. I Think you couldve ended a little stronger also. It wasnt to entertaining for me near the end but nonetheless great job bruh. You got a future in this sh*t
 
Pretty good. Work on your delivery a lil more though. The "umms" were a bit much and should be cut down. I Think you couldve ended a little stronger also. It wasnt to entertaining for me near the end but nonetheless great job bruh. You got a future in this sh*t
 
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