whats up fam. how are you? talk to us
I am doing as expected in my recovery.
I concluded my treatment 10/5/15
I lost my voice, barely have it back.
I still cannot eat. Can barely drink.
My doctor said the end of the treatment was going to be the worst, and he was right. The inside of my mouth was literally burned off. It is the worst feeling ever. A common side effect is excess mucus in my mouth. For 24 hours a day, I spit and drool. And I literally mean 24 hours a day because I cannot and do not sleep. When I try to "sleep" I have to lay on my side because I have a feeding tube in my stomach and have to keep a paper towel in my mouth. I cannot lay on my back because I will choke on the mucus. Both of my hips and both of my shoulders are extremely sore. i use so many paper towels throughout the day because I can not stop spitting up this mucus. Every day moves sooooooo slooooooooow. This has truly been a nightmare.
Even though my life still really sucks, I am starting to see an improvement. Some of the inflammation in my mouth has gone down. My whole mouth doesn't burn anymore, just the side where my tumor was(they had to extra radiation there). I still drool all day everyday, but not as much. The mucus in my mouth is only in one side of my throat, so that is good. My doctor said if I can continue to improve I should be able to eat soft foods in a few weeks. I CANNOT WAIT to start eating, because then I will get my feeding tube out. Once that happens I will be able to sleep on my stomach, go to the gym, and just feel more normal.
This whole process really tested my strength and my will. I contiplated suicide many a night. If it wasn't for my daughter... I don't know. People can't really understand the suffering you go through when you have these symptoms. I hear people say.... "At least you are alive." Let me tell you first hand... if this is being alive than I don't want to live. It was that bad. I am slowly turning a corner though. In January they are going to do another scan on me to see if they got all of the cancer.
Sorry I wrote so much. I updated my blog a few times if anyone wants to check it out.
http://www.kylekostic.blogspot.com