Need advice from the Strong willed opinionated but MATURE folks of NT

thagreatj

thagreatj

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Joined
May 28, 2005
For 2009, Im dedicating the whole year to bettering myself in hopes (bettering myself
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) but also improving my posistion.

to the advice part.

I am very opinionated and strong willed when it comes to certain subjects, for example, race,abortion, politics, and socio-economic conditions of minorities.

These are usually taboo subjects outside of friends and fam but i VERT STRONGLY believe in Standing up for what i believe in under any circumstances. This will(or prolly already has) affected me and the views people have of me.

How do i go about changing, or at least not being described as "passionate" when that is compliment but is mostly a diss? any help on changing andimproving?
 
Are you saying that people look at you as a blind believer/follower of something, and you wanna know how to changetheir perception of you? I'm not really understanding what you're saying.
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Sounds like your hard headed. If you really want to you need to let people give there opinion and actually take it. You need to see everything from otherspoint of view and really think about it.
 
Just %### about your opinion on the matter. I'm the same way, I've learned to just chill. You don't always have to let your opinion be known.
 
you should keep you opinions to yourself unless someone asks you specifically. opinions are like @++$ holes, everyone got one, and most of them stink.
 
Originally Posted by thagreatj

How do i go about changing, or at least not being described as "passionate" when that is compliment but is mostly a diss? any help on changing and improving?
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dont get all worked up & emotional during discussions about those subjects. always remain calm, cool, & level headed.
 
i have a friend who is similar to this, and it is realllllllllllllly annoying, and even though i love him like a brother, they really piss me off. i cant evenhandle small arguments with him because he doesnt listen to any of my points. to me its about a debate, not who can convey their point the loudest . you cankeep your opinions but also listen to what the other person is saying
 
so if someone asks you your opinion then by all means say what you feel man. if they don't like it, aw well..don't compromise yourself. people are softand hate hearing things they don't want to.
 
It sounds like you have a serious problem placing yourself in other people's shoes, and end up saying things that belittle their situation because youreally don't know what they've been through or are going through, or even the history of the subject itself.
 
How do i go about changing, or at least not being described as "passionate" when that is compliment but is mostly a diss? any help on changing and improving?




theres nothing wrong with having strong conviction however when conveying it there has to be fanese(sp) along with the right tone. All that equates to havingthat certain cadence when u speak. After u speak to someone they may not always remember word for word what u have said but they will remember how u made themfeel. Always stand ur ground but be conscious on how u articulate it and how it manifest.


Personally through out my growth my convictions over time were becoming less verbal. By no means did they lessen they jus became more evident in my character.When i reach that level i made much more progress and gained alot more respect ...even if someone disagreed..it was stilll more respectful
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i'm really good at seeing both sides of the matter, and it's so freakin annoying to get in an argument with someone over something ridiculous that theyjust can't see because they are too caught up with their own opinion
 
Originally Posted by Sun Of Knowledge

How do i go about changing, or at least not being described as "passionate" when that is compliment but is mostly a diss? any help on changing and improving?
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theres nothing wrong with having strong conviction however when conveying it there has to be fanese(sp) along with the right tone. All that equates to having that certain cadence when u speak. After u speak to someone they may not always remember word for word what u have said but they will remember how u made them feel. Always stand ur ground but be conscious on how u articulate it and how it manifest.


Personally through out my growth my convictions over time were becoming less verbal. By no means did they lessen they jus became more evident in my character. When i reach that level i made much more progress and gained alot more respect ...even if someone disagreed..it was stilll more respectful
"fanese" = finesse
 
Originally Posted by Nawth21

Just %### about your opinion on the matter. I'm the same way, I've learned to just chill. You don't always have to let your opinion be known.
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Co-sign, I only express my strong opinions if I have to. Most people are not ready for the way I think.
 
the first step for you should be to realize that when you're engaged in discussion is that you're not trying to persuade the other person but ratherpresent the idea to them...it's up to them to either accept or rebut your viewpoint....but remember no amount of yelling or reiterating your point willmake them accept your point of view.
 
1. U need to be open minded to others beliefs and opinions just like u would want them to be open minded to yours.
2. Don't speak if u aren't asked, sometimes ppl talk to much for no reason. I believe it's either Shellz, Lady Drama, or Illseed who says "Themore u talk, the less they listen." And it's as true as u are human.
3. U don't need to take ppls advice all the time, just aknowledge it and take it into consideration.
4. Don't force ur beliefs on others, u are liable to lose valuable friends that way.

Hope these four steps help.
 
Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

the first step for you should be to realize that when you're engaged in discussion is that you're not trying to persuade the other person but rather present the idea to them...it's up to them to either accept or rebut your viewpoint....but remember no amount of yelling or reiterating your point will make them accept your point of view.
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Yup.
 
It sounds like I respond in a similar way to you. Generally, when a topic arises in general conversation, you feel the need to voice your opinion to the pointof argument (or getting close to it).

I generally perceive people who are very opinionated and like to voice their unsolicited opinion as being weak or unsure of themselves. You may think thecomplete opposite, but really think about it...if you were together and very sure of yourself, strong, etc. would you need to tell people?
 
Originally Posted by thagreatj

For 2009, Im dedicating the whole year to bettering myself in hopes (bettering myself
laugh.gif
) but also improving my posistion.

to the advice part.

I am very opinionated and strong willed when it comes to certain subjects, for example, race,abortion, politics, and socio-economic conditions of minorities.

These are usually taboo subjects outside of friends and fam but i VERT STRONGLY believe in Standing up for what i believe in under any circumstances. This will (or prolly already has) affected me and the views people have of me.

How do i go about changing, or at least not being described as "passionate" when that is compliment but is mostly a diss? any help on changing and improving?
Click to expand...
I'm the same wayt, don't change just learn how to listen and understand someone's point of view. Realize that where aperson comesfrom usually decides their opinions. Either way, being strong-willed and passionate whill only help you in the professional world.
 
Dirty got it, youre not trying to win a battle. Youre simply projecting a view that you have, dont try to force it onto others.
 
A lot of things to take from this thread and i appreciate yall help and input.

you should keep you opinions to yourself unless someone asks you specifically
thats what i tried to do, then i made people aware of it, and it be like they "bait me" into debates.

dont get all worked up & emotional during discussions about those subjects. always remain calm, cool, & level headed.
a big problem of mine. but i swear it be me and whoever im debatin/arguin with and it always comes out like im the one gettin loud.

I appreciate your input Sunofknowledge

the first step for you should be to realize that when you're engaged in discussion is that you're not trying to persuade the other person but rather present the idea to them...it's up to them to either accept or rebut your viewpoint....but remember no amount of yelling or reiterating your point will make them accept your point of view.
should read this before leaving the house everyday.

Hope these four steps help.
they do. people say im closed minded but i feel im very open. obviously someones wrong.... i guess its me.
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again thanks yall. hopefully some who are similar to be learn from this as well.
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