Need advice from the Strong willed opinionated but MATURE folks of NT

[Retroballer]

you need to agree to disagree
i think what alot of people do is stupid. but you gotta accept that its their life not yours.

 

[keepitgully]

Just chill and be open minded. Let others think what they wanna think, while also thinking what YOU wanna think without imposing on other peoples minds.

 

[jbv1]

A lot of good advice so far; here's my take:

This will take patience & practice but learn to shut up & listen. You will have more clout & gravitas in a situation if you hold back & listento all sides before opening & voicing your thoughts. Sure, you can go all "better to stand & fall for what you believe in rather than live alifetime on your knees" BUT Gandhi & MLK still got their point across through other means.

Sometimes "sponging up" & processing all the info from all sides/perspectives helps you in avoiding becoming the mouthy, angry, bull-headed clownin situations where you voice an opinion before hearing the whole story, which is what I think you worry about in terms of thinking people are"dissing" you.

I'm all for standing up for what you believe in strongly but you have to learn to not be drawn into & baited into skewed debates or idealogical cornerswhere people try to beat you down or persuade/dissuade you into accepting their views... Stay your course but remember you can learn something new in your lifefrom a single different person you meet every day of your life... opportunities to grow & learn


Think of all the advice in this arena already out there - "Only with a closed mouth & open ears will you learn", "let your game speak","Your actions are speaking so loudly I cannot hear a word you are saying", "you gotta know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em",etc.

 

[kyrac2]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

the first step for you should be to realize that when you're engaged in discussion is that you're not trying to persuade the other person but rather present the idea to them...it's up to them to either accept or rebut your viewpoint....but remember no amount of yelling or reiterating your point will make them accept your point of view.

 

[seasoned vet]

thagreatj wrote:

---

For 2009, Im dedicating the whole year to bettering myself in hopes (bettering myself

) but also improving my posistion.

to the advice part.

I am very opinionated and strong willed when it comes to certain subjects, for example, race,abortion, politics, and socio-economic conditions of minorities.

These are usually taboo subjects outside of friends and fam but i VERT STRONGLY believe in Standing up for what i believe in under any circumstances. This will (or prolly already has) affected me and the views people have of me.

How do i go about changing, or at least not being described as "passionate" when that is compliment but is mostly a diss? any help on changing and improving?


-

@ 'opinionated'. my dude ive found this word is misused somuch i doubt the average person even understands what it means. what it truely describes is an individual so engulfed and passionate about his/her opinion thatthey cant help but convey it to others....even when not asked to, or even worse specifically asked not to. completly dismissing anyother point of view.
- however, more often than not what 'opinionated' ends up meaning is someone with different views thats not afraid to express it.

- think about it, i'd be willing to bet anytime someone has called you 'opinionated' you were disagreeing with something they said, yes? how manytimes have you been called opinionated when agreeing with someone?

- what ive found is most folk who wantonly throw 'opinionated' around have difficulty mustering up the proper words for a valid argument. those typesof people usually dont get their points of view from themselves, all they can do is recite what they've heard someone else say. any thought or challengefurther than that and its "oh you're just opinionated".



- my advice?? find some better freinds and/or relatives to have intellectual conversations with. if there are none, well, you dont have to talk tothem......thats what i do

.

- and im dead serious. coming from the hood i started to realize years ago im not some ignorant hood dude like most i grew up around. and instead of beating myhead against the wall engaging in intellectual conversations with these idiots trying to tell me what they know when they've never stepped foot outside nomore than 10 blocks of the hood. my time could be better spent learning something new, and at the very least actuall having a conversation with someone thatcan handle it.