Not Being a Father Unappreciation.

[katiejade4]

I can kinda relate, but for me it's more so that I have baby envy. I can't log onto Facebook without seeing a gazillion pictures of my friend's children. It's ridiculous and kind of alarming to me. I feel like I'm doing everything the right way. If there truely is a "right way". I dated a man, got married, moved in together, and it's gotten to the point where it's like "what now?" While all my friends accidentally got pregnant by a guy and he ends up not even being in the picture anymore.

I want to have kids and we haven't really tried but we're not really using any protection so if it happens it happens. We've always talked about wanting to wait until we're financially secure and done with any crazy lifestyle changes that we may be going through but I can't think of a better time than now. My husband is very analytical so he thinks about things way too much. Having a child isn't something I want to have to plan for and put on a calendar. I want it to just happen.

 

[mitchellicious]

Originally Posted by DaComeUP

Originally Posted by Regis

Originally Posted by shatterkneesinc


so i guess ur parents regret having u then 

 at the thought of all the questions DC mustve asked his parents while lil homie was coming up.

My old man told me and my brothers straight up that he never wanted kids. Not even in a malicious way. Said we were all "happy accidents", but added that he's glad that his line of thinking changed and that he ended up with kids like us.

 

[fade on you]

Im 25, but yes i sometimes get that feel. Not so much for a kid yet, more marriage. I don't want it to be with the wrong person, but ill be damned if all my cousins around my age aren't married or getting married this summer.

 

[al audi]

Originally Posted by ooIRON MANoo

It does make me LOL when 20 yr old dudes talmbout "ima wait til im 33 1/4 to have kids, have a job making 100k, after i've traveled the world 12 times and gained as much knowledge as the highlander after the quickining"

Really, if you don't want kids, don't have kids (or unprotected sex with someone you don't want to spend the rest of your life with). There's literally no such thing as the right time to have kids. That's why you see all these 38 yr old dropping tons 10's of thousands on in vitro fertilization, you can't put mother nature on hold while you do your thing or working 60 hrs a week.

Speak for yourself famo...

Goal was to always have kids when I'm in my 30's about to hit that mark in a month (

), no kids yet (knocks on wood), nearing that six figure mark and pick up and go as I please (

).

There is a "right time" to have kids, and it differs from person to person.  If your kid set your life straight, then I guess it was the right time for you but what if your life is already straight?  What 38 year old male is paying for artificial insemination?

If anything, having a kid later down the road will keep you focused on living a healthy lifestyle.  Life slows down in your mid to late 30's, don't want to have kids while I'm still in the fast lane, that "baby on board" decal blocking my rear view.  No thanks.

All I know, is looking back at my 20's now that they are almost over, I can say that I am glad I didn't have kids because all my friends that had kids didn't do half the things I'm still doing.

i agree 100%
my mom had me at 28 an my sister at 30

same time frame im basically goin for

hell right now im thinkin about a motorcycle an my next car bein a Coupe. 

 

[ricky409]

Originally Posted by SunDOOBIE

DoubleJs07 wrote:

Do you have kids? 

You got a deadbeat mentality, or that of someone who has been scarred from something in their youth. 
  

Nope.  However I have dated females with kids and have been with several JO's with kids.  The girl I am seeing now has a 3 year and everyday I am thankful that the kid isn't mine.  Seeing her for 1 or 2 days a week is plenty! 

 at deadbeat mentality... you got that from my 2 paragraphs?  FYI I helped raised my nephews from birth to about 10 years old so I know damn well I make a great father.  Plus kids love me...  I am that Uncle that always gives em the big presents and money!  

You're only 2 months in so it's all new for you.  Just wait until those 'cute' spontaneous moments get old and turned into an everyday... whatever just the shut the hell up when I am trying to watch the Laker game moments!  

got'em.

 

[sneaker champ]

find the right woman

 

[doublejs07]

Originally Posted by ricky409

Originally Posted by SunDOOBIE

DoubleJs07 wrote:

Do you have kids? 

You got a deadbeat mentality, or that of someone who has been scarred from something in their youth. 
  

Nope.  However I have dated females with kids and have been with several JO's with kids.  The girl I am seeing now has a 3 year and everyday I am thankful that the kid isn't mine.  Seeing her for 1 or 2 days a week is plenty! 

 at deadbeat mentality... you got that from my 2 paragraphs?  FYI I helped raised my nephews from birth to about 10 years old so I know damn well I make a great father.  Plus kids love me...  I am that Uncle that always gives em the big presents and money!  

You're only 2 months in so it's all new for you.  Just wait until those 'cute' spontaneous moments get old and turned into an everyday... whatever just the shut the hell up when I am trying to watch the Laker game moments!  

got'em.

If you say so famb.   

It's good that he's helped out w/ his nephews and what not...but seeing his GF's kid 1/2 times per weed doesn't constitute "raising" a child. 

IMO, If the child is yours (adoption, too), I'd have to say you would have a different perspective about fatherhood. 

*I too have helped in raising my niece....but again, it's totally different with my own child.  It doesn't compare. 

 

[ricky409]

Originally Posted by DoubleJs07

Originally Posted by ricky409

Originally Posted by SunDOOBIE

Nope.  However I have dated females with kids and have been with several JO's with kids.  The girl I am seeing now has a 3 year and everyday I am thankful that the kid isn't mine.  Seeing her for 1 or 2 days a week is plenty! 

 at deadbeat mentality... you got that from my 2 paragraphs?  FYI I helped raised my nephews from birth to about 10 years old so I know damn well I make a great father.  Plus kids love me...  I am that Uncle that always gives em the big presents and money!  

You're only 2 months in so it's all new for you.  Just wait until those 'cute' spontaneous moments get old and turned into an everyday... whatever just the shut the hell up when I am trying to watch the Laker game moments!  

got'em.

If you say so famb.   

It's good that he's helped out w/ his nephews and what not...but seeing his GF's kid 1/2 times per weed doesn't constitute "raising" a child. 

IMO, If the child is yours (adoption, too), I'd have to say you would have a different perspective about fatherhood. 

*I too have helped in raising my niece....but again, it's totally different with my own child.  It doesn't compare. 

that is true, DoubleJs...
But if its true about your kid being > 1year, then you gotta admit there is some substance to what he says. i think someone else stated that all that cute stuff wears thin.

I'll preface this by saying i'm 22, my friends are around my age, and i dont have the mindset of an ALMOST 30 year old fella:  I have friends that say the same thing... they LOVE their kids. wouldnt change a damb thing ABOUT their kid... But the only thing that they would change is THE TIME in which they had them.

i guess when you dont have a kid, you look at more substantial things that are loss (time, money, patience) too...

still rockin' with no kid till hopefully my 30s...

 

[Mound Raised]

Originally Posted by techmen31

Got me a 18 month old son. 

Definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me.

fixed 

 

[memphis2atl]

i appreciate this thread, although im only 22. Ni%%$s these days dont even want kids they have created, glad to some are still out there who want it.

 

[lacesunlimited]

i think you are ready to settle down, finding the right woman will take time.