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- May 2, 2006
not sure if anybody else can understand where im coming from, but im bout to vent a lil bit.
Im 26, and i got married this year. I was with wifey for 4 years before we decided to get married, and truthfully she means more to me than any chick i everdealt with.
i thought i was ready.
the pressure of what is traditional as in... you been with someone for so long the enivetable next step is to get married, wanting to not have kids out ofwedlock, the whole religious thing of being married etc. all this.
Im starting to come to realization that i am not cut for this @##%.
this is my problem
She makes me happy in the sense of having someone you love and care about, and vice versa... the companionship, the things we share in common, we have funtogether etc.
but there are certain things that can happen that makes you really less happy then anything else.... i can deal with certain things, but these are core thingsthat are key to me remaining happy and she steps on the lines...
#1.she complains when i watch sports, i mean Sunday comes its "OMG, i guess your going to be watching football all day" or basketball season"How many games can you watch?" I AM A SPORTS JUNKIE, i dont care what it is... Basketball, football, baseball, hockey (playoff time), boxing, imall in... ESPN on the TV 80% of the time. Thats something so fundamental and simple... men = sports.... and her "arguement" is she likes to watchsports... just not all the time. me personal i dont care what her sports watching capacity is. Why ruin something so simple that gives me enjoyment in a lifewhere all i do is work.
#2. Video Games.... my whole life i have been a video game nerd. I mean every system i had it, gaming is my source of comfort, my retreat. All i hear iscomplaints of how i play the game too much, Like when i play games (2k, madden, COD.) i get into it...
the thing thats so stupid is that, she LIKES to play video games, but once again, her thing is, i do it WAY more than she does. and once again, i dont carewhat her video game playing capacity is.
#3. Time... i barely have enough time in a day as it is, so besides work and sleep i have to divide that little bit of time left to spend time with her, andthen do the things i like... but its becoming to be, unbalanced... its ok for her when all the time and attention is on her, but when i do anything i likedoing... im not "paying her any attention". Drives me insane. The bad part is, i make a concious effort to do things with her, like i will just saywhat do you want to do? lets go walk, lets watch a movie, play pool, ANYTHING. She never has an idea of what she wants to do. I feel like her only form ofentertainment is through me.... and when im not doing something i want to do, and just try to give her attention, we are sitting there.... not really talkinabout nothing... and bored.... when i go to do something else, she gets an attitude.
#4. starting random arguements for nothing. like seriously, i hate arguing.... id rather debate an issue and she brings her point to the table, i bring minesto the table... and we come to a resolution... but when the arguement makes NO SENSE, or she has the dumbest point of view which she knows is dumb but yetholds on to it for the sake of not wanting to lose an arguement.... it makes me want to rock bottom her through the coffee table.
#5. and this is probably the most complex thing in my brain. I miss being in the game. I go out rarely, i havent been to a club in like a year, i dont reallyhang with my boys no more, and when it comes to females... i feel like im breaking a law just saying hi, or having small talk. My whole career i have been aman +#$#@, my numbers are rediculously too high, but it is something that is a natural gift, i insticntivly have the gift of gab... and its not the fact ofsmashing chicks, its just the challenge of "can i bag this chick" "do i still got it" i see dudes out and they be running wack game onchicks or they pull a chick and i look and im like "SMH, i use to be that dude, but my game was WAY colder". I think im not built for monogomy, i ama natural flirt, and i become unhappy with myself, when i see a chick and she is giving me all the signs in the world, and i ignore it like she wasnt eventhere.... i cant even explain it to where it makes sense, but its like a guy retiring from the sport he loves and he still feels like he can play (MJ, BrettFarve etc)
i know i put myself into this position, and its not fair to her to cheat... so i dont, but i wonder to myself.... *%% am i doing? was i ready to give it allup.... NO MORE CHICKS the rest of my life... can i do that? Im only 26, i havent reached my prime yet... even though ive done alot already... i miss just beingin the game.
I have pretty much been a male +#$#@ my entire career,
I've thought about just calling it quits and going back to my old self, not having to deal with none of the negatives i have mentioned... .but at the sametime, i feel like im an +@*%+%+ for feeling this way. And in the same breathe i feel like my happiness should be the most important thing to me. dont get mewrong the girl is wonderfull, she is ... besides the negatives i just mentioned we are fine. At the end of the day... im probably not going to do anythingabout it, because i love her, and i have a vagina (sarcasm), i dont want to lose out on something or someone special because of feelings that i may or may notthink is important in the future looking back on it all.
i know this was long, but anybody else going through something similar, or have any input?
Im 26, and i got married this year. I was with wifey for 4 years before we decided to get married, and truthfully she means more to me than any chick i everdealt with.
i thought i was ready.
the pressure of what is traditional as in... you been with someone for so long the enivetable next step is to get married, wanting to not have kids out ofwedlock, the whole religious thing of being married etc. all this.
Im starting to come to realization that i am not cut for this @##%.
this is my problem
She makes me happy in the sense of having someone you love and care about, and vice versa... the companionship, the things we share in common, we have funtogether etc.
but there are certain things that can happen that makes you really less happy then anything else.... i can deal with certain things, but these are core thingsthat are key to me remaining happy and she steps on the lines...
#1.she complains when i watch sports, i mean Sunday comes its "OMG, i guess your going to be watching football all day" or basketball season"How many games can you watch?" I AM A SPORTS JUNKIE, i dont care what it is... Basketball, football, baseball, hockey (playoff time), boxing, imall in... ESPN on the TV 80% of the time. Thats something so fundamental and simple... men = sports.... and her "arguement" is she likes to watchsports... just not all the time. me personal i dont care what her sports watching capacity is. Why ruin something so simple that gives me enjoyment in a lifewhere all i do is work.
#2. Video Games.... my whole life i have been a video game nerd. I mean every system i had it, gaming is my source of comfort, my retreat. All i hear iscomplaints of how i play the game too much, Like when i play games (2k, madden, COD.) i get into it...
the thing thats so stupid is that, she LIKES to play video games, but once again, her thing is, i do it WAY more than she does. and once again, i dont carewhat her video game playing capacity is.
#3. Time... i barely have enough time in a day as it is, so besides work and sleep i have to divide that little bit of time left to spend time with her, andthen do the things i like... but its becoming to be, unbalanced... its ok for her when all the time and attention is on her, but when i do anything i likedoing... im not "paying her any attention". Drives me insane. The bad part is, i make a concious effort to do things with her, like i will just saywhat do you want to do? lets go walk, lets watch a movie, play pool, ANYTHING. She never has an idea of what she wants to do. I feel like her only form ofentertainment is through me.... and when im not doing something i want to do, and just try to give her attention, we are sitting there.... not really talkinabout nothing... and bored.... when i go to do something else, she gets an attitude.
#4. starting random arguements for nothing. like seriously, i hate arguing.... id rather debate an issue and she brings her point to the table, i bring minesto the table... and we come to a resolution... but when the arguement makes NO SENSE, or she has the dumbest point of view which she knows is dumb but yetholds on to it for the sake of not wanting to lose an arguement.... it makes me want to rock bottom her through the coffee table.
#5. and this is probably the most complex thing in my brain. I miss being in the game. I go out rarely, i havent been to a club in like a year, i dont reallyhang with my boys no more, and when it comes to females... i feel like im breaking a law just saying hi, or having small talk. My whole career i have been aman +#$#@, my numbers are rediculously too high, but it is something that is a natural gift, i insticntivly have the gift of gab... and its not the fact ofsmashing chicks, its just the challenge of "can i bag this chick" "do i still got it" i see dudes out and they be running wack game onchicks or they pull a chick and i look and im like "SMH, i use to be that dude, but my game was WAY colder". I think im not built for monogomy, i ama natural flirt, and i become unhappy with myself, when i see a chick and she is giving me all the signs in the world, and i ignore it like she wasnt eventhere.... i cant even explain it to where it makes sense, but its like a guy retiring from the sport he loves and he still feels like he can play (MJ, BrettFarve etc)
i know i put myself into this position, and its not fair to her to cheat... so i dont, but i wonder to myself.... *%% am i doing? was i ready to give it allup.... NO MORE CHICKS the rest of my life... can i do that? Im only 26, i havent reached my prime yet... even though ive done alot already... i miss just beingin the game.
I have pretty much been a male +#$#@ my entire career,
I've thought about just calling it quits and going back to my old self, not having to deal with none of the negatives i have mentioned... .but at the sametime, i feel like im an +@*%+%+ for feeling this way. And in the same breathe i feel like my happiness should be the most important thing to me. dont get mewrong the girl is wonderfull, she is ... besides the negatives i just mentioned we are fine. At the end of the day... im probably not going to do anythingabout it, because i love her, and i have a vagina (sarcasm), i dont want to lose out on something or someone special because of feelings that i may or may notthink is important in the future looking back on it all.
i know this was long, but anybody else going through something similar, or have any input?
