Alright, I have to weigh in on this GOAT conversation.
I have to. I’m hearing a lot of people these days fronting like they have LeBron over Mike!!
Man….. listen. First of all, I love LeBron. I have nothing but love for LeBron. That’s the best player of his generation, one of the best ever, a great husband, great father, great role model, and it’s even beyond that: What he’s doing with that school in Akron?? It’s a beautiful thing.
But y’all.
We’re talking about Mike.
We’re talking about Mike, O.K.??We’re talking about Black Jesus himself.
And I don’t really have much more to say beyond that. Mike is the GOAT……. Mike is always going to be the GOAT. And please don’t even insult me with any of this “stats, AI!” business, like you have a chance of changing my mind.
Here’s my best Mike story — it’s not much, but it doesn’t have to be. So it’s 2003, and we’re all in The A for his last All-Star Game. And you know I’m Reebok for life….. but occasions are occasions. And I’m wanting to pay my tribute to the man. Pay homage. So I find one of those classic MJ throwbacks, then bring it home and cut out the little swoosh on it, and then I rock it — plus a Bulls fitted — on my way into the arena for All Star. And I’m proud as hell. So now I just have to find Mike.
I go into the front of the locker room. “Any of y’all seen Mike?” Nothing.
Go into another section of the locker room. “Any of y’all seen Mike?” Nothing.
Another section. “Mike?” Nothing.
Then finally I make my way to the coaches’ office. Figure they’d have to know where the man is. Open the door…….
But there’s no coaches in there.It’s just Mike.
It’s just Mike, and man….. you wouldn’t even believe this. You wouldn’t even believe what I’m seeing. It’s Mike, and he’s got his uniform on……. and he’s in one of those reclining desk chairs, leaning back in that thing like he doesn’t have a CARE in the WORLD. In the world. Got his feet kicked up like he’s on some beach! And then to top it all off?? He’s smoking one of those big-*** Mike cigars.
And he just looks at me — looks over my fit for a second — and he smiles.
Nods.
And then he goes right on back to puffing that cigar.
ARE YOU SERIOUS!! Man, I think I’m a cool guy. I’m alright. But Mike is the only person I ever — I mean ever — met who can be so effortless in his cool that he leaves this…. GLOW. It’s almost like I’ll remember the details about that moment and then I’ll get worked up from remembering it, just thinking about how cool that man is, you know what I’m saying?? I mean, he….. Y’all! Y’ALL. He’s smoking a CIGAR, with his UNIFORM on…… before the NBA ALL-STAR GAME. And man, he’s in the COACHES’ OFFICE. He’s in the coaches’ office. You’re smoking your big-*** cigar in the coaches’ office, in your damn uniform, with your feet kicked up like it’s nothing, before your very last All-Star Game?? Man — you run everything. You run EV-ER-Y-THING!!
Y’all I’m begging you, just stay humble on this one, and don’t question it. PLEASE.
Not when it comes to Black Jesus, that man, walking among us.
Not when it comes to Mike being the GOAT.