I'm gonna check in, because I feel like I used to have Depression.. idk what makes you "officially" depressed, but my girlfriend tried saying it was just me "being sad" and to "stop using depression as an excuse to not fix things".
Anyways, I'm mostly better now.. I have my bad days but most of them are good.
To give a background on what I was experiencing (maybe some of you could help me understand if I had depression or not)
-unable to sleep; couldn't get comfortable and my mind wandering to a million different negative places.
-constantly finding myself staring off into nothing, while my mind thought of a daily reason as to why i wasn't good enough.
-Kicking myself to the ground mentally, shutting down, because I'm blaming myself for my parents divorce when I was 8.. thinking "my dad knew I would be a failure, so he left before he was disappointed"
-Nowadays, what gets me down and out is thinking my Mom walked out of my life because she never had a care for me. My mind will say "I don't blame her, I'm nothing". and I just zone out.. convincing myself and blaming myself that I'm nothing.
-When I feel like what I think is "depressed", I get under a blanket and hide in it, it makes me feel safe..
-The biggest thing that made me think I had depression was that I lost all ability to give emotion. Multiple times my girlfriend would scream at me to talk to her, say something, show emotion, but my mind wasn't there at all. My mouth wouldn't open. I had no care for the situation, only a care for keeping myself down.
So what do you guys think? Was I depressed or just a fairly sad person?.. I've always wondered.
post below will be positive