Official Depression thread

My anxiety is the worst its been in a very long time. My heart is will pounding, I sweat, and when its really bad I feel nauseous like I'm going to throw up. I've decide not to stray away from the things that make me anxious, but I've been failing miserably with doing that lol. Its more difficult than I anticipated. I'm weighing my options as far as going back to school for an engineering degree. But from my talks with current and ex engineer students there's no way in hell I'm going to be able to do it till I get a handle on things.
 
My anxiety is the worst its been in a very long time. My heart is will pounding, I sweat, and when its really bad I feel nauseous like I'm going to throw up. I've decide not to stray away from the things that make me anxious, but I've been failing miserably with doing that lol. Its more difficult than I anticipated. I'm weighing my options as far as going back to school for an engineering degree. But from my talks with current and ex engineer students there's no way in hell I'm going to be able to do it till I get a handle on things.

anxiety??

i thought you smoke a lot of weed, dont help anymore?
 
Nightmares are continuing. Meds dont seem to help. I wake up a number of times during the night in sweats. Plus this case isnt helping. Some days i wish id just go to sleep and never wake up.
 
Do you wanna, do you wanna be
Do you wanna, do you wanna be
Do you wanna, do you wanna be, free
Do you wanna, do you wanna be, happy
Do you wanna, do you wanna be, happy
Do you wanna be, happy
Do you wanna, do you wanna be, happy
I said do you wanna, do you wanna be, happy
I said do you wanna, do you wanna be, free
I said do you wanna, do you wanna be happy
I said do you wanna, do you wanna be, free
Free from pain, free from scars
Free to sing, free from bars
Free my dawgs, you're free to go
Block gets shot, the streets is cold
Free to love, to each his own
Free from bills, free from pills
You roll it loud, the speakers blow
Life get hard, you eat your soul
It clears your mind, learn to fly
Then reach the stars, you take your time
And look behind and said what I can
Look how far I done came
They say that dreams come true
And when they do that there's a beautiful thing
Do you wanna, do you wanna be, happy
I said do you wanna, do you wanna be, free
I said do you wanna, do you wanna be
This track deff speaks to me man.
 
social life right now is depressing me, I don;t have any close friends and im alone during my free time. I get really down at times that I don't have friends that I have known for years.
 
anxiety??

i thought you smoke a lot of weed, dont help anymore?

It does help a lot, but I cant always afford it. Sometimes depending on where I'm going it would be an issue for me to be high so I go sober. Also, been looking for a job so I had to stop anyway.
 
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I'm getting to the point where I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
How do you love yourself when there is nothing to love about you?

Idk even know what time doing anymore. Idk where I see myself in 5 years or even next year.

I'm always letting people down.

I hate pretending to be happy for them.

I'm jealous of people who are genuinely happy or anybody who has someone who loves them.

I just need Adderall. I took it for the first time a month ago and felt normal for once. I need that back.
 
Funny this thread was at the top of general..been feeling down.

I work in retail and have to have a "face"
It's easy for me to turn on a switch and be happy and positive when I'm on the clock but as soon as I get home I open a bottle of liquor and chain smoke and try to drink til I'm numb and then wake up and for 8 hours I'm pretending to be someone I'm not. It's routine now..and I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle.
 
^stop that now man. I did that for a minute. Not retail but the drinking on the daily solo. It's only gonna get worse.

I say get a new job. One where you can be yourself and work a lot to keep you busy. It's a start at least. Why do something you don't want to do?
 
Feeling blue is a waste of time. Hate it. But you know what.. **** feeling that way. Life's a journey and if everything was easy, it would be boring.
 
I been depressed all week ...when I feel like that I always tell myself that I get through it n time flies ...n it's been true to me so far , just keep looking forward
 
Funny this thread was at the top of general..been feeling down.

I work in retail and have to have a "face"
It's easy for me to turn on a switch and be happy and positive when I'm on the clock but as soon as I get home I open a bottle of liquor and chain smoke and try to drink til I'm numb and then wake up and for 8 hours I'm pretending to be someone I'm not. It's routine now..and I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle.
I worked in retail but I never put on a "face" maybe thats why I got canned from all my jobs 
laugh.gif
. But I will say this being in that environment led me to full blown alcoholism. So much so I was pounding personal of Jameson right before a 9:00 am shift. Popping pills. Drinking throughout the day and as soon as I clocked out buying some more drank. Rinse and repeat. Stop it, do it one day. It's corny but try one day. See how you feel. Don't drink. You have to start somewhere, no one else will do it for you. I never thought I'd be able to stop drinking but I have, some bumps in the road
wink.gif
 but I've stopped. Here is to the next chapter. 
 
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I've heard nutrition plays a huge part in depression. Try reading this book called the Ultra Mind Solution.

I havent read it but heard its good.  Not sure if you have to follow it verbatim though. 

and yeah forget about adderall man. Getting addicted wont help
 
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Also struggling.
In the last 3 months I went from a job making about $5000 a month to a job making about $1200 a month.
I'm the last man standing among my friends.
They have all been married/have kids/have a serious significant other.
My free time is time alone at the bar, sketching or catching a movie.
Come home from work and just stare at the wall for 3 hours.
Currently on heavy meds. Xanax for anxiety/panic attacks, Klonopin for sleep aid and Vibryyd for depression.

I was separated from my last job because a customer claimed I told them to "go to hell"
They believed the customer and never got my side of the story.
Asked them to leave after they physically threatened me.
Currently filing a case against the company.
Have hit rock bottom.
 
Keep yourself busy. I feel busy on Adderall.
Fam addy is a temporary solution. Been prescribed this stuff five years and you're setting yourself up for failure if you thinking taking addy daily gonna solve your problems.
This.

@EcruteakCityBoy

Take a piece of paper. Put two separate lists: one side write things down you have to be appreciative/happy about. On the other side, write down what's making you feel down and/or worthless. Share some of it with us and I bet we'll be able to help you set short term and long term goals.

In the mean time, clean up your diet (make sure you're eating plenty of fruits/veggies). Also, step away from your TV and computer for at least a few hours. Get outside. Go do something like feed ducks at a pond or go to a pet store/kennel. Serious. Hit the gym or go for a run while listening to upbeat/motivational music. Stretch or do yoga to something relaxing music. Get a massage. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen. Clean your entire house/apartment. Read a book like "The Alchemist" or "Tuesdays with Morrie."
 
I'm coming to grips with the fact that I drown myself in work / stay busy so that I don't have to address my depression.
 
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