Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

[datznasty]

You have to take her to court bro, no other recourse at this point. You might be able to qualify for LegalAid which is free or greatly discounted legal care. If not, it's something worth paying exhorbitant fees and potentially going into debt over, the right to see your seed. That's beyond dirty on her part. Even when me and my BM had our worst fight and were broken up for about a week, she came over and spent the night so we could play with the baby and called me on FB video so I could talk to the baby

 

[frshstunna]

You have to take her to court bro, no other recourse at this point. You might be able to qualify for LegalAid which is free or greatly discounted legal care. If not, it's something worth paying exhorbitant fees and potentially going into debt over, the right to see your seed. That's beyond dirty on her part. Even when me and my BM had our worst fight and were broken up for about a week, she came over and spent the night so we could play with the baby and called me on FB video so I could talk to the baby

**** so crazy , can't even get my daughter on the FaceTime anymore ...I was just ready to pull up at the crib but my bro n homeboys advised against ...Ima see what I can do tho

 

[datznasty]

text/email her and ask to see the baby so you can have record of her denying you.

 

[iamdef]

I caught my 13 year old watching pron i dont know if im upset or happy. Advice?

My wife been asking me to have the talk with our 10 year old and I've been telling her to wait and I'm kinda waiting on this to happen.

Spoiler: My Advice

Listen to what he has to say. Ask him what he "knows", who he's heard it from, what he thinks. Try to make it as informal as possible. Don't make him feel ashamed cause that can turn him into a sexually repressed young man, also don't make him too comfortable or you may walk in one day and he made himself a romantic getaway in the living room. But those are extremes and all depends on the kid. All in all remember you know more than he does, and he doesn't need to know as much as you do at this time.

 

[wayniac211]

Time for that talk. No reason to be upset. Now the happy part... depends on what kinda pron he was searching jp

 

[Fozz]

My wife's post-partum depression has gotten worse. I'm really having a hard time understanding/coping with her depression. She chooses not to leave the house until I get off work and there are times where she just doesn't want to do anything during the day but watch our daughter (which is fine). But when I get home from work, she wants to go out somewhere and our place is a 'mess'. Dishes need to be washed, laundry needs to be done, etc. I am slowly starting to feel defeated when I go home. I give her time for herself when I get home, but idk, it's tough. I'm stressed, tired, and feel overwhelmed with the demands of work, at home, and back to dealing with issues with my father-in-law.

Sorry for the rant. But as a husband and father is trying his best to provide and lead my family. I feel defeated.

 

[teamjordan79]

My wife's post-partum depression has gotten worse. I'm really having a hard time understanding/coping with her depression. She chooses not to leave the house until I get off work and there are times where she just doesn't want to do anything during the day but watch our daughter (which is fine). But when I get home from work, she wants to go out somewhere and our place is a 'mess'. Dishes need to be washed, laundry needs to be done, etc. I am slowly starting to feel defeated when I go home. I give her time for herself when I get home, but idk, it's tough. I'm stressed, tired, and feel overwhelmed with the demands of work, at home, and back to dealing with issues with my father-in-law.

Sorry for the rant. But as a husband and father is trying his best to provide and lead my family. I feel defeated.

It's tough indeed.

While it's not depression, we've both been overwhelmed for the 4 months now since my daughter was born. As far as I see, there's only two options. Man up and stick through it or get some help from babysitters/relatives (not an option for me). What has been working is teamwork: switching who watches/holds the baby and doing chores when our hands our free. Im looking forward until she can walk or at least be by herself a little, but something's telling me it's just going to be a new slew of problems lol

 

[Fozz]

It's tough indeed.

While it's not depression, we've both been overwhelmed for the 4 months now since my daughter was born. As far as I see, there's only two options. Man up and stick through it or get some help from babysitters/relatives (not an option for me). What has been working is teamwork: switching who watches/holds the baby and doing chores when our hands our free. Im looking forward until she can walk or at least be by herself a little, but something's telling me it's just going to be a new slew of problems lol

I feel like all I can do is to 'deal with it' and take care of what needs to be done. 

Another example from Saturday morning. We're in bed and I hug her and she says "man, I miss being this close...and morning sex." That normally is a hint that she wants some intimacy...So I make a move and immediately she says "please don't do that". and I'm freaking confused...and she gets mad at me. I don't get it.

 

[teamjordan79]

It's tough indeed.


While it's not depression, we've both been overwhelmed for the 4 months now since my daughter was born. As far as I see, there's only two options. Man up and stick through it or get some help from babysitters/relatives (not an option for me). What has been working is teamwork: switching who watches/holds the baby and doing chores when our hands our free. Im looking forward until she can walk or at least be by herself a little, but something's telling me it's just going to be a new slew of problems lol

I feel like all I can do is to 'deal with it' and take care of what needs to be done. 

Another example from Saturday morning. We're in bed and I hug her and she says "man, I miss being this close...and morning sex." That normally is a hint that she wants some intimacy...So I make a move and immediately she says "please don't do that". and I'm freaking confused...and she gets mad at me. I don't get it.

Sex? what's that?

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

 

[Fozz]

Sex? what's that?

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

I already know there will be none of that on my birthday next week.

 

[DadNboujee]

Girl telling me she wants to be off birth control now. It's koo, I'm not smashing anyways. Lol.

 

[iamdef]

Me and the wife still get our groove on periodically. Often times its late at night or a sneak one during nap time. We are lucky to have her friends who are also the god mothers, who make themselves available to watch our kids for us cause they know how it is to try to keep the flame going with little ones.

Do miss shootin' up the club tho. Gotta get this snip initiated. Need to call my insurance so I can get fixed

 

[the 718 truth]

Talk about a drought. It's gotten better recently tho, but now we just moved and now my son wants to be in the "big bed" again.

 

[lpheat22]

My wife's post-partum depression has gotten worse. I'm really having a hard time understanding/coping with her depression. She chooses not to leave the house until I get off work and there are times where she just doesn't want to do anything during the day but watch our daughter (which is fine). But when I get home from work, she wants to go out somewhere and our place is a 'mess'. Dishes need to be washed, laundry needs to be done, etc. I am slowly starting to feel defeated when I go home. I give her time for herself when I get home, but idk, it's tough. I'm stressed, tired, and feel overwhelmed with the demands of work, at home, and back to dealing with issues with my father-in-law.

Sorry for the rant. But as a husband and father is trying his best to provide and lead my family. I feel defeated.

You should look into therapy for her. Sounds like she needs an outlet to express herself and it would benefit her a lot. You could probably benefit also from therapy. You can use it as a form of stress management and to figure out how to talk to her without triggering her unknowingly. We all know sometimes we say something and are trying to be helpful but to women they hear it differently and get upset. I know it's not something people like but it's very helpful. My girl and I are going through something similar, right now she's just chirping at everything I do. She's told me she's stressed but right now I'm punching bag it seems. I just got a new job so I need to see what the therapy is like for kaiser. I'll probably be going myself soon.

 

[Fozz]

You should look into therapy for her. Sounds like she needs an outlet to express herself and it would benefit her a lot. You could probably benefit also from therapy. You can use it as a form of stress management and to figure out how to talk to her without triggering her unknowingly. We all know sometimes we say something and are trying to be helpful but to women they hear it differently and get upset. I know it's not something people like but it's very helpful. My girl and I are going through something similar, right now she's just chirping at everything I do. She's told me she's stressed but right now I'm punching bag it seems. I just got a new job so I need to see what the therapy is like for kaiser. I'll probably be going myself soon.

Thanks for the suggestion. I have considered this route and asked if my wife would consider it, but at this moment, she doesn't want to.

I know moving across country is playing a big role. Our support system is back home in CA, so it's tough not having the opportunity to hang out with our fam and friends around.

 

[wavy daddy]

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

:\

I already know there will be none of that on my birthday next week.

How long ago was your baby born?

Your sex life take a big hit?

Im askin cuz i think my girl kinda might be in the same or similar boat.

She doesnt wana do anything, doesnt wana clean, but then wants to always go somewhere and never have sex but act like she does.

She told me a month ago she might be a lil depressed.

 

[lpheat22]

You should look into therapy for her. Sounds like she needs an outlet to express herself and it would benefit her a lot. You could probably benefit also from therapy. You can use it as a form of stress management and to figure out how to talk to her without triggering her unknowingly. We all know sometimes we say something and are trying to be helpful but to women they hear it differently and get upset. I know it's not something people like but it's very helpful. My girl and I are going through something similar, right now she's just chirping at everything I do. She's told me she's stressed but right now I'm punching bag it seems. I just got a new job so I need to see what the therapy is like for kaiser. I'll probably be going myself soon.

Thanks for the suggestion. I have considered this route and asked if my wife would consider it, but at this moment, she doesn't want to.

I know moving across country is playing a big role. Our support system is back home in CA, so it's tough not having the opportunity to hang out with our fam and friends around.

Ah ya that makes a big difference. Itll take some time for her to be open to therapy but I highly suggest it. Even if she's not open to it now, you should look into it. Maybe after she sees you going she'lol change her mind. Where did you move to?

 

[Fozz]

How long ago was your baby born?

Your sex life take a big hit?

Im askin cuz i think my girl kinda might be in the same or similar boat.

She doesnt wana do anything, doesnt wana clean, but then wants to always go somewhere and never have sex but act like she does.

She told me a month ago she might be a lil depressed.

Our daughter is 10 months old.

Sex life did take a hit. There were no yambs clapped on our two-year anniversary 

 So confused.

Sometimes just wants to lay in bed or the couch and just stay home. Due to anxiety as well.

Your girl may be dealing with it too. Talk to her.

 

[wavy daddy]

Our daughter is 10 months old.

Sex life did take a hit. There were no yambs clapped on our two-year anniversary   So confused.

Sometimes just wants to lay in bed or the couch and just stay home. Due to anxiety as well.

Your girl may be dealing with it too. Talk to her.

Man i feel you on that one, my lil boy was born 10 months ago also.

I try to make a move anf she hits me wit the 'you never hold me anymore like you used to, i just want you to hold me and watch a movie'

[emoji]128530[/emoji] yeah aight, but first let me go take a 'dump' and ill come hold you smh.

Ima have ti ask her witout bein direct about it so i dont make her paranoid i guess.

Good luck man, hopefully they snap out of it.

 

[stuntman mike]

phew man that's a tough one. my wife got really nuts in the first few weeks. one night she went ballistic cause she thought i was trying to steal our baby. which made no sense because i was in the apartment with them the whole time

she stopped being crazy really quickly though. i just did my best to support her and bite my tongue.

 

[wavy daddy]

Its crazy tho cus she went thru her whole pregnancy cool as hell, i cant thinj of one time she flipped out like most women.

But this post partum is kinda hard to deal wit.

Especially cuz all she has to do is have wet hair amd rub her thigh on me and i get stiffer then a muggggggggg

 

[Fozz]

Its crazy tho cus she went thru her whole pregnancy cool as hell, i cant thinj of one time she flipped out like most women.

But this post partum is kinda hard to deal wit.

Especially cuz all she has to do is have wet hair amd rub her thigh on me and i get stiffer then a muggggggggg

And yet, she won't let you do anything?

Yeah, I know how that feels. 

 

[wavy daddy]

Hell nawl.

Last night was the first time in 2 weeks.

We went from once or twice a day to where we are now.

I been gettin pissed and its causin arguments, im a loyal dude tho and these broads been payin extra attention to me latley, especially when i have my lil boy wit me. But i wont cheat.

Contemplated callin the engagement off, idk man, she been real selfish, all she does is work, come home, and chill wit her mom when we arent together.

If things dont change by my lil ones first bday, im really thinkin bout leaving. Sounds selfish, but i gotta have it you feel me.

 

[iamdef]

It's about consistency and she has to see it as that and not centered around sex. I was talking about this the other day. If you kept your car clean when y'all were dating and after y'all got engaged you just let it get filthy it could and pretty much should have an effect on your relationship because something that defined you has changed dramatically.

Unfortunately during these times after birth there's the precaution of being too harsh and cater to her potential emotional instability that we as men will hold our tongue and ride the wave in hopes that things get better while portraying that everything is perfect. But we have to think not just short but long and push this conversation so our partners hear the truth that in some places in our lives we are not happy and things need to change

 

[wavy daddy]

True, im gona have to figure out a different approach to let her see things in another perspective.

And i dont wana take away from her bein a good mom, its just thatbof course with our son she gives 100% and freaks out if he just taps his head or pinches himself, but i have to deal with all the emotional things and have to deal with the post birth things.

So i feel like im bein selfish, even tho i try to understand and help out with everything from home, emotion, physical and stability.

But this no sex thingnis drivin me crazy. Its really pushin me.






Anyways, i love bein a dad, my lil boy is almost one, cant wait.