Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

[Grine]

Reflecting on mar's situation more and how I would react, I'm going to pray for growth.

In my mind, while I guess I may find pride in my child learning about who they are, I would also fear how they learned this information with regards to sexuality and would probably go too far in trying to shut it down.

Scary ****.

That’s good you’re willing to be more open. Prayers for more understanding is great fam! Keep doing it.

Raising a child is frightening! We all have some kind of fear for our children. It’s part of the burden of being a parent.

Putting expectations on them is selfish. (IMO) Motivating them and pushing them to excel is different.

Honestly, having a conversation with them about it early on can help. You have to make sure you instill the values and the correct information that’s best fitting for them.

These kids are exposed to so much so young. They learn quickly. There’s no time to sugar coat things with the “birds and the bees” story. Be 100 percent honest with them. Give them facts on both side. Pros and Cons. Not your personal belief or opinion, but experiences and scenarios.

Talk with no judgement. Talk with the curiosity of wanting to know how they feel. If they say, “I don’t know”, they’re just having a hard time trying to construct how they feel...so you have ask a more contrusted question until they can answer it. (Atleast this how I’ve done with my daughter).

 

[Grine]

And just FYI, if nobody is telling y’all I will...

Every person in this thread, you’re doing an amazing job!

The fact that we(you’re) in here reading, asking questions, providing insights...shows your effort as a parent.

 

[iamdef]

Question. And everyone keep it 100. Im more ok (personally) if my dauggter comes out than my son. Wont love the boy less but it would be more of a shock. I know women can have messed up relationships but i also wouldnt fear them getting pregnant or hurt physically by other males. Proud of your daughter tho for not being scared and growing up in a household where she felt comfortable to do that

I believe I'll react similarly to my daughters or my son coming out or having a different than expected preference. Ultimately my #1 rule is don't bring idiots into my house.

Putting expectations on them is selfish. (IMO) Motivating them and pushing them to excel is different.

Just had this convo yesterday with my wife. Son is starting baseball soon after making the team and after his lack luster enthusiasm in every other extra curricular activity he's done before he been improving a bit with his catching because he practices with his friends at school. I told my wife that I think we need to stop trying to get him to want to get up in the morning and run laps around the neighborhood and to be the best of the best because he may not take baseball that serious. And if he's performing where he wants to be at, then that's fine.

We get so obsessed in our kids being the smartest and strongest and the best when not every kid is going to be the best nor are all kids going to give their best 100% of the time. I didn't understand the potential of football until I had already missed my opportunity to make the best of it. I'd love for him to take baseball serious and be dedicated to it and grow up and get a $100 million dollar deal but that may not be his lot in life.

So there's def some real weight in putting the right expectations on our kids

 

[maq25060]

I believe I'll react similarly to my daughters or my son coming out or having a different than expected preference. Ultimately my #1 rule is don't bring idiots into my house.



Just had this convo yesterday with my wife. Son is starting baseball soon after making the team and after his lack luster enthusiasm in every other extra curricular activity he's done before he been improving a bit with his catching because he practices with his friends at school. I told my wife that I think we need to stop trying to get him to want to get up in the morning and run laps around the neighborhood and to be the best of the best because he may not take baseball that serious. And if he's performing where he wants to be at, then that's fine.

We get so obsessed in our kids being the smartest and strongest and the best when not every kid is going to be the best nor are all kids going to give their best 100% of the time. I didn't understand the potential of football until I had already missed my opportunity to make the best of it. I'd love for him to take baseball serious and be dedicated to it and grow up and get a $100 million dollar deal but that may not be his lot in life.

So there's def some real weight in putting the right expectations on our kids

I'm not sure if your situation is an expectations kind of thing though. I think it's more so about striving for greatness and also valuing time.

 

[iamdef]

I'm not sure if your situation is an expectations kind of thing though. I think it's more so about striving for greatness and also valuing time.

I'd say it was expectations because I 100% believed and felt the pressure myself of what we were putting on him. I'm hoping after we have the same convo with him about putting his success in his hands with our continued background support we'll see a bit more maturing on his side

 

[stuntman mike]

i never wanted to get married and i never wanted to have kids. there was some implied pressure on me because my dad has only sisters (6 of them) and my brother and his wife have only a girl. our branch of the family name would have ended with me. and then i met my wife (who inspires me like no other woman has) and we had my son. i was raised old school and i have to be extra vigilant to not use phrases "stop acting like a girl". i don't want my son to fear being open and honest with me. some kid in his class told him about men marrying other men and my son asked me if that was ok. mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn....did i have to take a long pause and ask god for guidance i ended up keeping it really short. i said that yes it's true that men marry other men and that there's not enough love in the world and if you find people in your life that are genuinely kind and caring, then these are the people you want to keep close.

 

[maq25060]

Scary ****, son. Da **** did we sign up for.

 

[plansb]

Man, i thought having a newborn was hard. I'm not ready for the days when these convos have to happen.

 

[Bad Moon Rison]

Going to the store today to pick up some Valentine’s Day stuff to send a care package my niece Brooklyn ( 8 ) and nephew Everson (10) in Colorado since I don’t see them as much as I would like.
Anybody do anything for their kids on Valentine’s Day ?

 

[23kidd]

i never wanted to get married and i never wanted to have kids. there was some implied pressure on me because my dad has only sisters (6 of them) and my brother and his wife have only a girl. our branch of the family name would have ended with me. and then i met my wife (who inspires me like no other woman has) and we had my son. i was raised old school and i have to be extra vigilant to not use phrases "stop acting like a girl". i don't want my son to fear being open and honest with me. some kid in his class told him about men marrying other men and my son asked me if that was ok. mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn....did i have to take a long pause and ask god for guidance i ended up keeping it really short. i said that yes it's true that men marry other men and that there's not enough love in the world and if you find people in your life that are genuinely kind and caring, then these are the people you want to keep close.

you handled this well imo

My 5 year old seen two girls kissing on tv.
She looked right at me with a confused face...”HUH? Girls cant kiss other girls??”

Now with my son coming along soon, Im already freakin out about our “sex” talk

The real world will always be out there, as parents we just gotta make sure they use and understand the tools that we give them.

 

[stuntman mike]

on a crappier note: i was looking through my son’s backpack and found an assignment he did. it said draw something that makes you angry. it was two people standing and the smaller one had a sad face. so i ask my son who’s in the pic (thinking some bigger kid is bullying him). he said oh that’s you and me. i ask him what do i do that makes you angry in this picture. then he says that’s how i feel when you tease me... ughhh felt like i got punched in the gut

i told him we will work together to make sure our teasing is playful and not hurtful and he gave me a huge hug

when we pick up my wife he tells her that i made a deal with him to not be mean so i had to tell her the whole story. mannn she just gave me the biggest

 

[Bad Moon Rison]

Now with my son coming along soon, Im already freakin out about our “sex” talk

Man my dad never even had “the sex talk” with me. I had to learn from friends.

 

[Fozz]

Everyone in this thread has been so helpful. Truly appreciate yall.

 

[jb20]

Been at the hospital since about 11:30 this morning. Started at 4 cm but she was induced because she’s a day late and her blood pressure started to get high so they just decided to go ahead and do it today. Only at 4.5 cm now. I’m in it for the long haul today.

 

[stuntman mike]

they worried about pre-eclampsia?
good luck man!!

 

[jb20]

Yeah they are. She had one high blood pressure reading the week of New Years then it’s been normal ever since until today. Swelled up a good bit during the pregnancy. Had a lot of protein in urine samples but ran blood tests and everything was normal.

 

[stuntman mike]

my wife was same and they induced also. everything turned out fine. get ready to have a baby man!

 

[Liquid Swords]

Congrats!

Fellow dad’s I need some encouragement. My 2 year old is at that unbearable whining stage. Starts from a fake cry to real cry whenever he wants something. Wife and I try to be patient but Holy ****ing **** I’m about to lose it. Had to walk away from him last night, like that bad.

Just a phase, right?

 

[23kidd]

Congrats!

Fellow dad’s I need some encouragement. My 2 year old is at that unbearable whining stage. Starts from a fake cry to real cry whenever he wants something. Wife and I try to be patient but Holy ****ing **** I’m about to lose it. Had to walk away from him last night, like that bad.

Just a phase, right?

Yep, keep ignoring.

All behaviors are learned. You ignore it, eventually hell change.

 

[wayniac211]

This is your son, isn't it?

Not as chunky and don’t even like rugby. My 2 eldest play but this ones a brainiac

My daughter did one of the most bravest thing ever..she told the family that she’s bisexual. Cute little video announcement in a text , so creative.

Love her so much for it...

I already sense it when she was in 4th grade elementary. Saw the signs...When I did sense it, we talk about it every since. Just expressing to her that whatever you are, be honest with yourself.

The world may like it but that doesn’t matter. Whoever you’re attracted to is your business and you should never feel ashame about it.

I never saw the big deal about it. You don’t see straight people going around saying, “Hey everyone, I’m heterosexual”.

I can’t wait to hug her when I pick her up from school. She sent the video right after I dropped her off to school.

That’s love right there. House ain’t a home if there’s no love.

 

[jrp44]

My daughter did one of the most bravest thing ever..she told the family that she’s bisexual. Cute little video announcement in a text , so creative.

Love her so much for it...

I already sense it when she was in 4th grade elementary. Saw the signs...When I did sense it, we talk about it every since. Just expressing to her that whatever you are, be honest with yourself.

The world may like it but that doesn’t matter. Whoever you’re attracted to is your business and you should never feel ashame about it.

I never saw the big deal about it. You don’t see straight people going around saying, “Hey everyone, I’m heterosexual”.

I can’t wait to hug her when I pick her up from school. She sent the video right after I dropped her off to school.

All your posts in here are so positive man. Keep it up

 

[crumps brother]

Congrats!

Fellow dad’s I need some encouragement. My 2 year old is at that unbearable whining stage. Starts from a fake cry to real cry whenever he wants something. Wife and I try to be patient but Holy ****ing **** I’m about to lose it. Had to walk away from him last night, like that bad.

Just a phase, right?

Just a phase

There numerous phases (in my experience) from age 2-4

Just ignore it

 

[jb20]

Little man was 8 lbs 7 oz

 

[23kidd]

Little man was 8 lbs 7 oz

Congrats!!!!!

 

[youngthundercat]

Young fella nuts hanging low already.


What a mf’n feeling man. Such a high.


Got a daughter and son now. 2 and done!

8.2 lbs