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- Apr 30, 2005
Well NT its kind of a long story and I think I've been able to digest the fact now almost 1 week later.
Okay I dunno if some of you remember me making a post some months back about me and shortie having a kid and me not being ready to provide for it ETC. Then I told her not to keep it.
As time went by I realized that I would have a little me running around and all the thoughts about not being able to provide financially and not being grounded in terms of having a good job yet, not being done with school and own place to live all went out the window.
I was still nervous don't get me wrong, but I still knew everything would be alright.
Anyhow, from January to last week I was getting prepared mentally for this big task and up to the day before I found out the bad news, I was preparing for a baby shower too. about 3 weeks ago I was at a sonogram appointment and we found out that it would be a boy. I felt like a crazy amount of excitement just imagining a little me running all over the place. But that was kind of shut down by some bad news.
The sonographer said that the baby's kidneys were somehow a little clogged BOTH of them being approx double the size they were supposed to be... Then a counselor came and had a sit down with us and said that it wouldn't be something major.
It would either go away or worse come to worse, when he is born they may need to have minor surgery to free up the kidneys to have urine flow.
Okay bet, its not so bad and "Nothing to worry about" (according to the specialist) we didn't dwell on it even though we knew the seriousness of the issue.
We leave the hospital. Literally 5 mins later we are called from the same doctor's office telling us to come back in 2 weeks, not the standard 4 weeks between sonograms to monitor the kidney situation more closely.
We get hyped up tell all our friends and family that its a boy.
So fast forward to 2 weeks later, LAST friday.
I take the day off from school to attend the sonogram.
The sonographer told us that the amneotic fluid was low.
VERY low.
What caused this? The same issue 2 weeks before where the kidneys were "sort of" stopped up, now they are FULLY blocked up
and so is the bladder and urethra.
With the amneotic fluid, he drinks it, it cycles through the baby and he pees it out and surrounds him again and it continues like that.
so he drinking it and its not leaving him. Leaving the area around him without any fluid, therefore leaving him kind of cramped in there. THEN also preventing lung development and muscle development because he has no space to develop.
So it was a big chain reaction.
The head doctor came to talk to us and he suggested abortion. It was the hardest thing for us to hear.
BUT here is the kicker in New York state the legal abortion age for a fetus is 24 weeks.
Last friday marked the 23 weeks and 6 DAYS!!!! and we found this out at about 3PM so we had less than 24 hours to make a decision matter fact we had from 3PM until 10PM.
IF we did decide to wait it out, he wouldnt have survived, with severly under developed lungs, bladder problems and stiff muscles.
So she got admitted into the hospital on friday night, I stayed with her throughout the whole procedure, only went home to shower and change. It was total torture to watch them stick needles into her and a whole bunch of other procedures to induce the labor.
the process took from friday night to sunday afternoon when she finally delivered.
I cant believe im still standing after watching that
30 mins later, im guessing after they cleaned him up and allowed him to pass away, they let me see him.
He looked like a person, 10 fingers, 10 toes, you could see he would have had my eyes soon, he had big hands like me, looked like his feet were separated the way mine are... Didn't think that at 6 Months a baby would be so developed.
Anyhow this is something I wanted to share with my NT bro's I mean I know im not the most popular guy on here but I still wanna get this story out. Letting you all know that we ALL take life for granted and all the little things we have. It could all change JUST like that.
Mentally I'm still feeling pain. Mentally my girl is feeling pain like hell. Shoot she wanna have another kid already because she feels like she HAS to fill that void. And I dont blame her. She has to sleep and not feel his kicks anymore, that connection just SUDDENLY broken. and I don't have a kid in there to talk to and rub her stomach and play music for anymore.... Damn.
Sorry for long read guys.
If anyone has had experience with this, it would be cool to give some info on how to cope with this.
I feel guilt for initially being so adamant about not having a kid, I feel like my wish was granted WAY after I even got over my fears and it all sucks.
Also did any of your girls go through counseling? for this?
Everyone is welcome to chime in
RIP Nasir Lea King love you boy boy
Okay I dunno if some of you remember me making a post some months back about me and shortie having a kid and me not being ready to provide for it ETC. Then I told her not to keep it.
As time went by I realized that I would have a little me running around and all the thoughts about not being able to provide financially and not being grounded in terms of having a good job yet, not being done with school and own place to live all went out the window.
I was still nervous don't get me wrong, but I still knew everything would be alright.
Anyhow, from January to last week I was getting prepared mentally for this big task and up to the day before I found out the bad news, I was preparing for a baby shower too. about 3 weeks ago I was at a sonogram appointment and we found out that it would be a boy. I felt like a crazy amount of excitement just imagining a little me running all over the place. But that was kind of shut down by some bad news.
The sonographer said that the baby's kidneys were somehow a little clogged BOTH of them being approx double the size they were supposed to be... Then a counselor came and had a sit down with us and said that it wouldn't be something major.
It would either go away or worse come to worse, when he is born they may need to have minor surgery to free up the kidneys to have urine flow.
Okay bet, its not so bad and "Nothing to worry about" (according to the specialist) we didn't dwell on it even though we knew the seriousness of the issue.
We leave the hospital. Literally 5 mins later we are called from the same doctor's office telling us to come back in 2 weeks, not the standard 4 weeks between sonograms to monitor the kidney situation more closely.
We get hyped up tell all our friends and family that its a boy.
So fast forward to 2 weeks later, LAST friday.
I take the day off from school to attend the sonogram.
The sonographer told us that the amneotic fluid was low.
What caused this? The same issue 2 weeks before where the kidneys were "sort of" stopped up, now they are FULLY blocked up
and so is the bladder and urethra.
With the amneotic fluid, he drinks it, it cycles through the baby and he pees it out and surrounds him again and it continues like that.
so he drinking it and its not leaving him. Leaving the area around him without any fluid, therefore leaving him kind of cramped in there. THEN also preventing lung development and muscle development because he has no space to develop.
So it was a big chain reaction.
The head doctor came to talk to us and he suggested abortion. It was the hardest thing for us to hear.
BUT here is the kicker in New York state the legal abortion age for a fetus is 24 weeks.
Last friday marked the 23 weeks and 6 DAYS!!!! and we found this out at about 3PM so we had less than 24 hours to make a decision matter fact we had from 3PM until 10PM.
IF we did decide to wait it out, he wouldnt have survived, with severly under developed lungs, bladder problems and stiff muscles.
So she got admitted into the hospital on friday night, I stayed with her throughout the whole procedure, only went home to shower and change. It was total torture to watch them stick needles into her and a whole bunch of other procedures to induce the labor.
the process took from friday night to sunday afternoon when she finally delivered.
I cant believe im still standing after watching that
30 mins later, im guessing after they cleaned him up and allowed him to pass away, they let me see him.
He looked like a person, 10 fingers, 10 toes, you could see he would have had my eyes soon, he had big hands like me, looked like his feet were separated the way mine are... Didn't think that at 6 Months a baby would be so developed.
Anyhow this is something I wanted to share with my NT bro's I mean I know im not the most popular guy on here but I still wanna get this story out. Letting you all know that we ALL take life for granted and all the little things we have. It could all change JUST like that.
Mentally I'm still feeling pain. Mentally my girl is feeling pain like hell. Shoot she wanna have another kid already because she feels like she HAS to fill that void. And I dont blame her. She has to sleep and not feel his kicks anymore, that connection just SUDDENLY broken. and I don't have a kid in there to talk to and rub her stomach and play music for anymore.... Damn.
Sorry for long read guys.
If anyone has had experience with this, it would be cool to give some info on how to cope with this.
I feel guilt for initially being so adamant about not having a kid, I feel like my wish was granted WAY after I even got over my fears and it all sucks.
Also did any of your girls go through counseling? for this?
Everyone is welcome to chime in
RIP Nasir Lea King love you boy boy
