Sex before marriage? (SERIOUS DISCUSSION.. %+*+ boys)

[yungmatt]

Marriage is NOTHING but a contract IMO

 

[dearwinter219]

Yeah... I AGREE with most of what's been said here.... 'Preciate the "advice" guys... now to share what I've "learned" with mylady....

 

[rko2004]

Originally Posted by DearWinter219

Yeah... I AGREE with most of what's been said here.... 'Preciate the "advice" guys... now to share what I've "learned" with my lady....

Wait a tick. If you have kids one day, what would you want them to do concerning sex?

 

[soundwave24]

Sex before marriage is common in our society but I think that it is one of the reason that our society is messed up. For men, sex is a selfish act(usually) and they just "want to get their's". Women tend to be insecure people and feel that this a way for acceptance (usually) and think thatthey can find love by giving in. So right out the gate, people are going to be messed up. I believe that waiting is an act of self-discipline. That if youwant to get the best out of a relationship, you'd wait because the important parts of a relationship are not the physical ones. Waiting to have sex showsthat you are willing to make a commitment to a goal and work at it, just like working on a relationship.

I know many people who are married and single and the woman uses sex as a weapon. "If you don't do what I want, you won't be getting any." I tell my girl, if you'd ever do that, I'd wait until hell freezes over and I'll win. By waiting, I can work on the problem and not have to givein to "get some". I'm also scared of having kids before I'm ready, catching some STD, or being a slave to sex. I know there are people whomake fun of me (all the time) but this doesn't make me compromise on my goals. There will no time where I feel guilty because I put a girl throughemotional pain of an abortion, settle for a job because I have a kid to take care of, marry a girl I don't want to be with, or have a child who is nothaving the full-time attention of both parents.

People also point out that marriage is not natural. There are things that separate us from animals like logic and reason. People need stability to raisehealthy and emotionally-stable children. Children with parents who are committed to each other are far more likely to succeed than ones who are not and havehealthy relationships of their own. The point that sex is natural is valid but the answer to that is that humans are more than animals and we progress abovethe "natural" standards. We have qualities that differentiates us from the common beasts and the more we rely on those qualities, the better we willbe as a society.

Last but not least, I think of how many men destroyed their great situations to have better sex. Is it really that important? Is it so important that you arewilling to risk your reputation and family over it? I see all the time on this board that people complain that some girl has screwed them over or that theycan't find the right woman. If you don't do the right thing, how can you expect it in return?

 

[lobotomybeats]

Originally Posted by Cameron Nelson

Do I think it's necessary? Absolutely. Would you buy a car before you test drove it?

Precisely. I can't imagine marrying someone and finding out that we don't work in bed. That stuff happens.


But for those who wait, congrats! Congrats on the possibility of having terrible sex for the rest of your lives. Congrats on forever wondering about greenergrasses. Congrats on not being compared to her last! Congrats on stroking your ego knowing that your inadequacies will only be compared to the magicalawesome-ness of her hand or vibrator. You may not be able to get each other off, but hey, you are both each others best! Adorable. There may not be anycries of "Oh GODDDD!" and it has nothing to do with you taking the lord's name in vain. I raise my glass to your stringent Virgin policies. Notonly are you willing to deprive yourself of something you ACTUALLY WANT, but you are willing to do it in the name of someone that there is no proof of! WOW. But really, I mean it. Congrats.

 

[ericberry14]

Originally Posted by RKO2004

Originally Posted by DearWinter219

Yeah... I AGREE with most of what's been said here.... 'Preciate the "advice" guys... now to share what I've "learned" with my lady....

Wait a tick. If you have kids one day, what would you want them to do concerning sex?

i would try to explain to them they sex isnt something that should be taken lightly & you shouldnt just have sex with any & everybody. Youshould wait until you area ready & are in a committed relationship with the person. In that case i really have no issue with it.

honestly i believe that when that was said in the Bible, it wa smore realistic of an expectation. But now in this day & age when arranged marriages nolonger happen & people date all throught adolescence & young adulthood. It would be a much more realistic thing to expect people not to have sex untilthey are in a committed relationship as opposed to marriage.

RKO: do you really think God would be that upset if two people who were in a committed serious relationship ahd sex even though they werent married?

 

[pr1nts]

Originally Posted by BwooDFolkGD74

sex is important. more important than marriage.

marriage is something we made up.

 

[soundwave24]

Because sex is something you can't improve in? You can't improve in your skills and techniques? There aren't like hundreds of thousands/millions ofbooks and videos to help you learn how? You are innately born with the skills to please each other?

Being committed in a relationship is like buying a car? Wow, the analogies are right on point.

 

[retr0sxual]

Originally Posted by lobotomybeats

Originally Posted by Cameron Nelson

Do I think it's necessary? Absolutely. Would you buy a car before you test drove it?

Precisely. I can't imagine marrying someone and finding out that we don't work in bed. That stuff happens.


But for those who wait, congrats! Congrats on the possibility of having terrible sex for the rest of your lives. Congrats on forever wondering about greener grasses. Congrats on not being compared to her last! Congrats on stroking your ego knowing that your inadequacies will only be compared to the magical awesome-ness of her hand or vibrator. You may not be able to get each other off, but hey, you are both each others best! Adorable. There may not be any cries of "Oh GODDDD!" and it has nothing to do with you taking the lord's name in vain. I raise my glass to your stringent Virgin policies. Not only are you willing to deprive yourself of something you ACTUALLY WANT, but you are willing to do it in the name of someone that there is no proof of! WOW. But really, I mean it. Congrats.

Damn... dude went in.

 

[fanatic15]

Originally Posted by soundwave24

Because sex is something you can't improve in? You can't improve in your skills and techniques? There aren't like hundreds of thousands/millions of books and videos to help you learn how? You are innately born with the skills to please each other?

Being committed in a relationship is like buying a car? Wow, the analogies are right on point.

Seriously. those are the worst analogies I've ever heard. If buying a car is the same as a relationship to you then you have other issues towork on.

 

[rko2004]

Originally Posted by soundwave24


Sex before marriage is common in our society but I think that it is one of the reason that our society is messed up. For men, sex is a selfish act (usually) and they just "want to get their's". Women tend to be insecure people and feel that this a way for acceptance (usually) and think that they can find love by giving in. So right out the gate, people are going to be messed up. I believe that waiting is an act of self-discipline. That if you want to get the best out of a relationship, you'd wait because the important parts of a relationship are not the physical ones. Waiting to have sex shows that you are willing to make a commitment to a goal and work at it, just like working on a relationship.

I know many people who are married and single and the woman uses sex as a weapon. "If you don't do what I want, you won't be getting any." I tell my girl, if you'd ever do that, I'd wait until hell freezes over and I'll win. By waiting, I can work on the problem and not have to give in to "get some". I'm also scared of having kids before I'm ready, catching some STD, or being a slave to sex. I know there are people who make fun of me (all the time) but this doesn't make me compromise on my goals. There will no time where I feel guilty because I but a girl through emotional pain of an abortion, settle for a job because I have a kid to take care of, marry a girl I don't want to be with, or have a child who is not having the full-time attention of both parents.

People also point out that marriage is not natural. There are things that separate us from animals like logic and reason. People need stability to raise healthy and emotional stable children. Children with parents who are committed to each other are far more likely to succeed than ones who are not and have healthy relationships of their own. The point that sex is natural is valid but the answer to that is that humans are more than animals and we progress above the "natural" standards. We have qualities that differentiates us from the common beasts and the more we rely on those qualities, the better we will be as a society.

Last but not least, I think of how many men destroyed their great situations to have better sex. Is it really that important? Is it so important that you are willing to risk your reputation and family over it? I see all the time on this board that people complain that some girl has screwed them over or that they can't find the right woman. If you don't do the right thing, how can you expect it in return?

Dudes think with their wang too much.

i would try to explain to them they sex isnt something that should be taken lightly & you shouldnt just have sex with any & everybody. You should wait until you area ready & are in a committed relationship with the person. In that case i really have no issue with it.

honestly i believe that when that was said in the Bible, it wa smore realistic of an expectation. But now in this day & age when arranged marriages no longer happen & people date all throught adolescence & young adulthood. It would be a much more realistic thing to expect people not to have sex until they are in a committed relationship as opposed to marriage.

RKO: do you really think God would be that upset if two people who were in a committed serious relationship ahd sex even though they werent married?

Honestly yeah. Now what level I don't know. But I know He holds both sex and marriage in HIGH regard. But once again I don't know how upset. He justwants whats best.

Hmmm what happens if they are in a committed relationship and then break up?

 

[mytmouse76]

You can teach/show someone with a semi-open mind good/better sex. You can't really do the same with other parts of your relationship.

 

[rko2004]

And why do people think sex can't be learned. You just know what to do. Its common sense.

 

[tkthegirl]

Still Undecided.

 

[rhymestein]

Get you 1/5th� of

Then..

you !%#@!!!!

 

[dunks87]

Originally Posted by DearWinter219

So, what' the idea?

Is it sinful?
Is it necessary?
Is it taboo?
Is it reaqlistic for people to be tripping on it

?

What do you believe?

1. depending on what you believe in, yes(but no one is perfect)

2. necessary, i used to not think so but i don't want to pledge my life to someone and not even know what im getting myself into. marriage is forever, atleast it's supposed to be...but then again if you love/with someone you should want to be with them because of them as a person not what's below thenavel.
3. tabboo-i don't believe in that stuff
4. realistic? well according to NT if a girl a virgin she's lying so...with that said...who knows? in other countries it's still realistic and expectedbut for the most part i think people are lucky to make it to 13 and be virgins. between rapes, molestations and curiousity,and hormones waiting for marriagefor sex now? haHA good luck...
i personally believe that sex is serious and important and should only be done with someone you care about deeply or love, but clearly that doesn't pan outin the larger scheme of things either.

it's a good idea in theory....

 

[chico dusty]

RKO2004 wrote:

---

And why do people think sex can't be learned. You just know what to do. Its common sense.


Some aspects of it cant tho. Its like your saying speed can be taught. Sure, you can learn techniques to get better times, but it aint like you comin from a 5flat to a 4. Its the difference between a "big play" guy vs. one who, "just gets the job done," ... smell me?

Dont know bout you, but to me sex has a rhythm. Alot can be learned yes, but to be great at it requires a touch & a feeling inside about yourself thatcant be taught ...

 

[tkthegirl]

That don't make no sense whatsoever how the hell does marriage stop or limit your ability to learn how to have proper sex?

 

[chico dusty]

Originally Posted by TkTheGirl

Who said that?

 

[tkthegirl]

Originally Posted by Chico Dusty

Originally Posted by TkTheGirl

Who said that?

That what it sound like what you said to me. If not elaborate.

 

[jfresh7]

Originally Posted by Cameron Nelson

Do I think it's necessary? Absolutely. Would you buy a car before you test drove it?

Right.

 

[sorkoram]

I told myself, the next chick I get at, I wouldn't go rambo on until I made her my girlfriend. Now as far asmarriage,cot damnit Imma get in them guts, pulling them sheets off her feet word to Boomerang

 

[dathbgboy]

�

 

[chico dusty]

Originally Posted by TkTheGirl

That what it sound like what you said to me. If not elaborate.

First proper sex was a lil funny to me. Aint no such thing ...

Marriage doesnt stop the learning curve, the people involved do. Self inhibitions among other stuff.


Ex. I dated a chick who was on that "Wait till marriage," bs & Yeah, that changed & needless to say I taught her a few moves here &there that she actually got good at (Gemini

) but I could tell she wasthinkin about it. Cool at first, but I found that I prefer someone who knows how to react in certain situations rather then think about it in the moment. Imean, I'm not talkin bout the movements of a porn star w/ experience but someone who is in touch w/ theme selves internally w/ what feels good & whatit takes to make another feel good on that level as well. The individual has to want to not only for him/her self but for their partner too. You cant teachthat.

 

[cameron nelson]

Originally Posted by Fanatic15

Originally Posted by soundwave24

Because sex is something you can't improve in? You can't improve in your skills and techniques? There aren't like hundreds of thousands/millions of books and videos to help you learn how? You are innately born with the skills to please each other?

Being committed in a relationship is like buying a car? Wow, the analogies are right on point.

Seriously. those are the worst analogies I've ever heard. If buying a car is the same as a relationship to you then you have other issues to work on.

Eh, doesn't bother me...hell, I'm married with children (no Al Bundy)

But, personally...although I'd get a kick out of it, I really dont have the time, nor desire to "educate" anybody in the bedroom. Not to say Iwant a +**@, but I DO want a woman who knows what she's doing, and does it well. I dont have time for anybody being scared to...well, you know! Or havingto coerce somebody into...other things. Books, movies, seminars, therapy, etc...all that stuff is great, IF you have the patience to do so. Personally, Idon't....and I doubt any woman would have time for a man to get his ++!@ together. Contrary to popular belief, sex...by that being the lack of, or it notbeing done well, is the leading cause of divorce next to money problems, so yes...IMO, it is VERY important, and those that downplay that fact better have amean tongue game or a huge wallet if you plan on keeping somebody around. Conversation and all that is wonderful, but that's just one piece of thepuzzle...and people don't get divorced just because they dont talk often.