a couple of years ago my friends and I rented a house in Delaware for a week to hang out. I was with my girl at the time.
I'm a big drinker but my girl isn't so one night she goes to bed early and I stay up with my friends and keep going. I got really drunk to the point that, while my friends were playing monopoly (I think, I don't remember) I got mad that I wasnt playing and grabbed a slipper and rolled it onto the game board.
they helped me up and walked me to my room to put me to bed and in the process my gf woke up.
the minute they walked out I started smashing my girl like it was the last time. it was pity sex as my girl hated when I was drunk,and I appreciated it. I guess my friends wanted to check on make sure I was alive, so my boy comes in to check on me and all he sees is my backside thrusting. and I'm breathing heavily. pretty embarassing.
next morning I woke up before everyone and took a **** so big that I clogged the toilet. my load wouldn't flush. I grabbed a plastic bag and used it as a glove and took out the largest turd. threw it out the window. once everyone awoke to the situation in the bathroom I laid in the cut, acting baffled.