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I think you did the right thing. You didn't hit her face or anything just her leg.
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Originally Posted by BwooDFolkGD74
i threw a deck of cards at my sister's face
I'm the one who doesn't have to always yell or spank my nephew in order to get him to listen. I really don't think me or Ska aresaying you never hit/spank your kids. It just shouldn't be your go to disciplining tactic first, every time.Originally Posted by ILL LEGAL OPERATION
All y'all "talk it out" and "use pyschology" folks are the ones with those bad #$! kids runnin' round the supermarket openin' up the popsicles and *$%!...
I never understood that *$%! when some spoiled brat says, "I hate you mom. You're a @$%$%." Like, how the hell do you not smack that kid in the mouth for that? Really.
You don't reason with children. You spank them.
Originally Posted by 23ska909red02
You hit her... to make her respect others.
That's counterproductive on 2 levels.
#1. Hitting is disrespectful in itself, so it makes little sense for me to hit someone and tell them 'I'm hitting you to try and get you to be respectful to others, dammit!'
#2. You're not going to 'make' her do anything. The only person you can 'make' do something... is you.
I only lived with my sister and my dad for a couple years (from 18-20), and my sister was 9 kinds of disrespectful to my dad. We both resented him, but I just paid him no mind, paid him rent, stayed out of his hair, etc. She would go crazy on him... but I never hit her over it. It accomplishes nothing. Matter of fact, I've shared on here before that I've even fought for her when I saw my dads put his hands on her, pushing her or what not.
Yeah, my sister ended up going down a self-destructive path, and she's currently failing at life,'bout to get all 3 of her kids taken away by the state and everything, but would I have changed her life's path by hitting her when she was disrespectful to my dad?
Nope.
VeryAnalytical85:
Ska, and all others who are against using physical abuse as discipline.
I'm all for it but there are those kids who refuse to listen...regardless of what you tell them (or any other non-physical alternative you give them) as a means of discipline.
So what will be the solution?
The solution will be for you to take your scenario back a few steps and realize something: no child is born with a refusal to listen. A 5year-old-who won't listen to his parents has been taught that he doesn't have to. What, he's told not to touch the big screen tvs at Best Buy, thenhe plays with one and it falls, and he goes home and gets his butt whooped? And? That's it? No working to pay for it? No taking his electronics away? Norestriction from going places with his parents when they go out, since he can't listen to them? None of that? Just whoop his *@#@ and that's the end ofit? Yeah, he's learned that he doesn't have to listen; he's learned that if he's tough enough to take the pain of a *@#@-whooping when he doessomething wrong, he can get away with anything.
ILL LEGAL OPERATION:
All y'all "talk it out" and "use pyschology" folks are the ones with those bad #$! kids runnin' round the supermarket openin' up the popsicles and *$%!...
Let's not take it there, because every time I'm at Walmart or at the mall orsomething and I see some brat running around acting a fool,there's always some hoodrat behind him talking about ow she's going to whoop his %#%. And I always watch and think 'Yeah, that whole whopping himthing, that really seems to be working out for you.Good job!'
Meanwhile, I'm married to a woman who was never hit... ever... by her parents, and she listened to every g.d. word they sad to her growing up. Same withher sister. They never disobeyed, got great grades, and they are both adults now with an EXCELLENT work ethic and respect for authority... but they were never,EVER hit.
Would you care to explain that?
TraSoul82:
And Ska, you CAN make people do things whether you want to believe it or not. There is a reason governments use torture. It works. It's cruel, but it works.
Nope.
If you're torturing me unmercifully, I still have a choice to give you what you want or to allow the torture to continue.
The choice is still mine. Just because your options aren't 'Get shot in the head? Or enjoy an ice cream sundae?' doesn't mean your ability tochoose has been taken from you. Just because I'm tortuiring you doesn't mean I'm making you do something; you're still going to choose youraction.
AG 47:
I have to ask you a hypothetical question Ska.
If you knew before hand that if you were to "check" your sister by slapping her leg (same thing OP did) that your sister would have
been less of a failure at life, would you have done it?
Of course.
My turn to ask you a hypothetical.
If you were in my shoes, and you knew beforehand that you could straighten your sister out without ever laying a hand on her and you also knew beforehand thatthe end result would be more productive in the long run than if you were to hit her, would you keep your hands off?
Another hypothetical: if you were in my shoes or the OP's shoes and you knew beforehand that hitting your sister would continue a cycle of 'hit first;use other disciplines second' that would eventually lead to one of your sister's kids getting charged with child abuse because they took it too far,would you keep your hands to yourself?
Originally Posted by ZOOM AIR ELITE
should have whipped it out to make a tight situation and awkward one.
Originally Posted by iBlink
The title's name had me like ho-lee s--t
But honestly, you would have gotten your point across more clearly had you slapped her face. I don't advocate violence on women, but she isn't a woman yet; she's young, she was being disrespectful, and she needs to learn manners.
You did the right thing... kinda.
Pops ain't aorund so I had to do it man..... its the only way I know.... I tried talking but kid won't listen yo.
Nope you did the right thing...she shouldn't be disrespecting your mother... Also try to talk to her when she isn't so mad, that will helptoo. But don't get soft cause you may have to do it again.
I got into a fist fight with my sis a min ago because she disrespected my mom who was taking care of us by herself. I held back for months watching my momstruggle and my sister just be disrespectful.
Then one day I just gave it to her... but this was when we were teens I was maybe 14-15 she was 16-17.
Originally Posted by RetroJTino
Originally Posted by iBlink
The title's name had me like ho-lee s--t
But honestly, you would have gotten your point across more clearly had you slapped her face. I don't advocate violence on women, but she isn't a woman yet; she's young, she was being disrespectful, and she needs to learn manners.
You did the right thing... kinda.Damn Blink. In the face tho?
RetroJTino:
Ay but seriously tho, those of you who say he's wrong, y'allz kids are gonna be running all over y'all. Physical discipline is almost like electroconvulsive therapy. For those of you that don't know what it is, it's a therapy for drug addicts. They induce the addict with a hit of the drug, and shock them afterwards. The idea is to make them believe that they'll experience pain or discomfort when they use the drug. Thus leading them to stop. My point is, you're sending a message that they'll be physically discplined (pain/discomfort) again if they decide to disrespect their elders (use the drug). Ya dig?
Drug addicts have a chemical imbalance that creates the need for the drug they are addicted to; they didn't just learn to want the drug. Theyare addicted to it, as in, their body has created a chemical need for it. Kids learn how to act, whether it's appropriate learned behavior orinappropriate. Do you have any kids? Have you done any study or research on child development? I hate to pull that card, becuase I know there are a lot ofpeople that like to think that their uneducated, unresearched opinion should count just the same as someone else's experienced, researched opinion... butthat's just arrogant and rebellious to think that.
A drug addict has a chemical imbalance affecting their thoughts and behaviors; children don't. Children act in accordance with what they know they can getaway with, and if you hit first and encorporate other disciplines later (or never), then like I said before, you've aught the kid that if he can be toughenough to withstand pain, he can get away with anything. THAT kid will walk all over you, and your frustration with your inability to get him to act right willonly make you want to it him more, and since he's tough enough to withstand the pain, then once again, no progress will be made. And we'll all see youat the mall wondering where you went wrong, wondering why when you say 'If you don't put that back, so help me god, you won't walk for a week',the kid just laughs at you and says 'Like that's going to hurt.' And then you can see other parents call their kids name out and just barely givetheir kids a menacing glare, and the kid stops what they're doing and waits to be told what to do.
It's interesting watching the development of my son, because I have never put my hands on him punitively (for punishment or out of frustration), andneither has his mom (my wife). But both of us... when we call out his name sternly... son freezes. He literally freezes his body, stops what he's doing,and just stares at us, waiting for us to tell him to come to us or put down what he had or move from where he is, or whatever.
Hitting is not the only way to establish fear, but establishing fear shouldn't be the goal to begin with; establishing respect should be.
RetroJTino:
Please recognize that there's a difference between physical discipline and physical abuse.
Definitely. Physical discipline is 'corporal punishment'; physical abuse is... 'physical abuse'.