The Whole "wife falls off when they get married thing........."

[deuce king]

As others have stated you simply have to outline to her what's important or a necessity to you in this relationship. Each person should list the 3things that matter most to them so the other person can make sure that they are fulfilling those tasks. See what you can do as well if anything to encourageto get her to the point that you want her to be, maybe she has issues with you . Also, as harsh as this may sound, if she is not willing to step it up for youit may be time to seperate either for awhile or permanently. Every woman SHOULD listen to and have the "Cater To You" mentality as described by thewords below........

I Promise You
I'll Keep Myself Up
Remain The Same Chick
You Fell In Love With
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits

 

[lesfamilia]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

single ftw

 

[dirtylicious]

Why the hell i need to say please...
lol
goodness...you got issues dude.

 

[36Hypno]

Like others have said you have to let her know. I intend to keep myself up, so should you.


Or you can do what this dude I know did at school. Dude guilted his girl into workin out. He told her that she never did anything that he wanted to do whenthey spent time together. She said she would do anything so dude suggested jogging and the gym

. It worked and she got a lot better. I haven't seeneither one in a few years though.

 

[lilstarz07]

i dont understand what is wrong with dudes these days ... handle your %!+*! ... handle her ... if shes getting ugly or not caring tell her she needs to toneher %%@% up ...

for instance, this past week we pulled up to the bowling alley and there was a pizza hut right next door ... my girl goes "mmm i want some pizza" ...first thing out my mouth was "its about to be summer" and we went on our way ... %!+*! better get in beach shape cuz im not walking around with aslob

 

[mrspectacular]

the worse thing is...its such a double standard...honestly !%##%* can get fat as they want and females gotta stay on point. The ugliest !%##%* be pulling dime+#!*%!+...I believe tho it goes both ways since i meet my girl i gain like 35 pounds and she gained like 10. it aint right for her she aint said nothing but itold myself i need 2 get it together or the spark may go out..

 

[keithahundred]

her +!! will get kicked to the curve.......the way I found your +!! is the way you need to stay from now on till forever got damn it

 

[jimmybeanz]

Originally Posted by Nktran001

She's only been looking washed up is because you allow her to.. You put her in the comfort zone where she feels as if she doesn't need to look all "pretty" for you anymore. Soon enough, she's gon be taking the deuce with the door open.

That's why you have to play that game where you try to part from her for a while.. And then when time comes around for you to see each other she just might go back to looking incrededible. If that doesn't work, I don't know what to tell but except the fact:

If you don't like how things are going.. Why not just let her know straight up?

 

[fantastic4our]

that's one of the reasons I'm sscared of getting married. I know too many dudes whose wives got huge right after they got married. Nah eff that, bothof us gon be in the gym together an %%!.

 

[jthagreat]

Let me try to emphasize this a lil more....Its not so much about the LOOKs/weight.

Its just the change. I guess i just grew accustomed to being treated a certain, and now all of a sudden she has this attitude where she is damn near countingthe things she does for me. Its hard to explain without lookin more like a jerk (i can be a jerk) but its like she went from catering to me to have me, but nowisnt doing things to keep me.

Someone help me out.

I love her for her, but we not married.

 

[jthagreat]

(preface) She wants a dog for like 2 years. Hintin for me to buy her one. I tell her no cause, you still at your parents house which means its their house, youdont wanna make them have to take care of it.

She gets a dog, and her parents cant watch it.

She stays over at the house, and she brings her new puppy cause (her parents cant watch him) I told her dont do it. She brings the dog on the sneak tip (gotthere before i did) its a puppy so she dont want the dog on the floor in a Bag thing. I dont want the dog on the bed.

NOW if i was to stay true to my guns, i would have had to be a real JERK and and say F!!! NO and leave, its not sleepin on the bed. But no i give in and thepuppy is on my bed. (this is what i mean where married men just give in to save an argument)

Yall see what im sayin?

 

[eaalto]

Originally Posted by jthagreat

(preface) She wants a dog for like 2 years. Hintin for me to buy her one. I tell her no cause, you still at your parents house which means its their house, you dont wanna make them have to take care of it.

She gets a dog, and her parents cant watch it.

She stays over at the house, and she brings her new puppy cause (her parents cant watch him) I told her dont do it. She brings the dog on the sneak tip (got there before i did) its a puppy so she dont want the dog on the floor in a Bag thing. I dont want the dog on the bed.

NOW if i was to stay true to my guns, i would have had to be a real JERK and and say F!!! NO and leave, its not sleepin on the bed. But no i give in and the puppy is on my bed. (this is what i mean where married men just give in to save an argument)

Yall see what im sayin?

Honestly, a lot of the time marriage is like that. It is simply not worth arguing about stuff anymore and carrying on fights. It is different when you'resingle because you can just walk away from the entire situation if you want to. When you are married, you are stuck with it. I did not go into marriage withdivorce being a consideration. I am married, and will stay married, unless there are unreconcilable differences. That's why it's important to findsomeone who you get along with, have similar tastes, likes and dislikes, etc. Beyond that, you need to maintain a level of respect for each other. It'shard to want to keep doing all kinds of nice things for each other once you have each other and are married, but it's the extra effort that makes all thedifference sometimes.

My wife asks me to get stuff for her and I make her say please. I ask her to get me stuff and she makes me say please. She appreciates me when I do thelittle things for her, and I appreciate her when she cooks me dinner and makes me lunch to take to work.

I gained about 25 pounds during our first year of marriage, and she has stayed the same weight. I stopped working out and going to the gym because I felt badabout not spending time with her. I reached a point where I didn't feel good about myself. Around the holidays last year I tried to get back on anexercise regimen and lost 15 pounds, but fell off for 2 months. Just recently I started running again (3 miles a day) and am starting to get back into it. Mygoal is to get back down to 200 pounds.

As for my wife? She wakes up at 6 A.M. everyday and does an hour on the stair master. I don't tell her she needs to work out, she does it for herself. If she gains 5 pounds, she starts freaking out and exercises more. But the thing is, I love her, and even if she gained 20 pounds, I would still love her. She is 5'10" so it spreads out a lot better. But that's beyond the point.

You can't expect you and your spouse to look like supermodels your entire lives. You grow with each other and your emotional bond transcends the needs ofa perfect physical specimen. If that's all you care about, then forget getting married. Stay single and bang hot chicks your entire life.

On the right:

 

[im self abs0rbed]

i hate when people say, you should love her regardless of what she looks like

how are you supposed to stay in love with someone who looks like s***t

people get too comfortable in relationships, they start thinking it's a sure thing, when it never is
your girl WILL leave you for someone more eye catching if you start to slack too hard & vice versa

you just need to meet someone who cares about what THEY look like as much as you do .. it shouldn't have to be some i-wanna-impress-my-man sh**t, sheshould wanna look good most of the time, just to look good

some women go the i-dont-need-to-impress-anyone-anymore-cause-i-have-my-man route
others stay on point their whole lives regardless of who their with

i don't think asking for someone to look good 85% of the time is too much to ask, but there are far less shallow people in the world than me.

 

[night marcher01]

You know what I do?

Just be like "hey baby, today is your day, ima take you out shopping!"

Then take her to like H&M or stores that usually sell clothes for slim woman

Then let her point out which clothes she likes... and be like "alright, let me get that for you"

Then BAM!... get the size that she used to be... just use the ol' line "but I remembered you told me you were a size__"

OR... get the clothes yourself and surprise her, when she finds out she can't fit in them anymore... GUARANTEE workout motivation! (well, atleast for me)

 

[mr jordan04]

Originally Posted by j671

Question is, do you love her for her ,or the way she looks?

Its a combo of both. If you're all about "loving her for her" go get yourself some obese chick. You know you gonna have 2 !$*% up real bad forher to leave you

 

[night marcher01]

Originally Posted by SiMPLYDiMPLY

make her feel jealous by checkin out hotter chicks

That won't work... just askin' for an argument!

 

[mytmouse76]

i'm big on please...he hates it but i've always been that way...i almost always say it...

 

[tbone95860]

Originally Posted by j671

Question is, do you love her for her ,or the way she looks?

That's a stupid question..... the way your BF/GF/spouse looks is one of the reasons you love them.....

 

[theswoosh]

Wow. Some of you make your age very apparent with your remarks.

Bottom line is this. When you commit to one woman, you are doing so because you can actually see your self with this person for the rest of your life. Whenpeople describe their partner as their best friend, its because its true. You do this regardless of looks or changes in appearance because your partnershipgoes beyond the surface. You think your girl has a bangin body now, wait until she has your baby. Are you really going to tell the woman who just carried yourbaby for 9 months and then pushed it out to go hit the gym.

Marriage is all about compromise. Each of you needs to decide what is really important for you to "have your way" with and agree ahead of time. Thenyou don't have to have pointless arguments about furniture if you have one room in the house that is decorated with all your stuff and only your stuff.

It takes some level of maturity to make a marriage work and it takes lots of time and energy to make things smooth. My wife and I have been married for almost2 years and we dated off and on for 5 years prior to that. Of course there were up's and down's but if you and your partner are willing to communicateyour needs, your marriage will last a long time.

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by TBONE95860

Originally Posted by j671

Question is, do you love her for her ,or the way she looks?

That's a stupid question..... the way your BF/GF/spouse looks is one of the reasons you love them.....

attracted yes...love...i don't think so...

 

[knightngale]

just because you get married does not mean you own that person
you need to say please and still be courteous

marriage FTL!

 

[be23forlife]

iono, being lazy is a turnoff. and gaining weight is the outcome of being lazy. just know who you're gettin into a relationship with. sux. u should post onjjb, lol see what they say.

 

[tbone95860]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by TBONE95860

Originally Posted by j671

Question is, do you love her for her ,or the way she looks?

That's a stupid question..... the way your BF/GF/spouse looks is one of the reasons you love them.....

attracted yes...love...i don't think so...

How can you love someone you aren't attracted to then? Because that's what you're saying essentially...
You might as well be best friends if looks don't matter.

And I would argue looks are one of the reasons you love person.... at least it is for me.....
Looks are 1 of many reasons to love someone.... it's just another characteristic.... just like you love someone for their personality....

 

[rawk on]

Every couple i know that gets married gains about 20 pounds after they get married. That terrifies me. I think part of our vows should involve a gym membershipand vegetables.

If anything, i think it might be more important to take care of your appearance while you're in a relationship than when youre single.

 

[mytmouse76]

You are attracted to them from jump...thats why you go out/talk whatever...after you get to know them yes you are still attracted to them but imo its not thereason you love them...you love them because of who they are...i never said looks don't matter...