Update 3: Home now! Looking like that time where I leave this earth

[Deleted member 38182]

Damn man I don't even know what to say.

I'm sorry for everything you're going thru.

But please, I hope you find peace with this struggle and embrace life to its fullest. I don't mean it in like a sad way.

Like you said, just live man. My uncle had this super rare form of esophageal cancer and he left Houston to spend his last few months in his hometown in China playing sudoku with my aunt and cousins. He was in tons of pain his last few weeks and I know he had moments where he wanted to just give up but he found this comforting sense of pure peace within him from just living and enjoying what he had. If things are really that bad with your battle, I hope you at least find that.

 

[gatzbygordon]

please keep us posted, it would be a shame if we lost a member without being informed.

that is sad that you will be leaving all those people behind, but for the time that you are here, you should enjoy every minute with them.

i couldnt imagine how awful your body feels with all that chemo, and i could understand how you would just want to give up..

i wish you the best, my girls grandpa beat cancer once then it came back a couple of months ago, she hardly sees her family but when she went for xmas she said he looked bad and that he had just given up all hope, 2 months later and hes better than ever..

you should do something really special for your girl, tell her how much she means to you and you appreciate her.

your mom must be really upset, hang out with her and just talk, enjoy the little things.

get well soon.

 

[mr marcus]

def remember your thread a couple years back...I wish the best man...seeing how you seem to be at the realization that death might be near kinda made me 

 .....can't imagine facing that 

 

[Junok]

I hope you make it through. Keep fighting. 

 

[Figured it out]

Hope you pull through, keep fighting man.

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

OP I have no idea what your going through but I know it has to be tough and heartbreaking.

I just wanna say that no matter what happens you ARE part of this NT community, people do know you even if it's not physically and for NT in general your presence on this site and the one you have in your own personal life will carry you on for quite some time no matter what the outcome is for you.

Keep your ******g head up son, darkest before the dawn. I just want for you to not compound your situation with any type of negative thinking, stay positive kid. This life works in mysterious ways, you never know what it has in store for you.

You got people who look to you for strength and comfort, stay strong, YOU'LL BE ALRIGHT NO MATTER WHAT.

here's a vid:

 

[bless]

Wow, I'll be praying for you OP.  Hopefully you pull through and have a full recovery.  God Bless!

 

[smokey bandit]

Woah man, stay strong and don't try to lose hope (its hard i know) and enjoy every second you have with your fam and girl

Life is not forver but neither is death...

 

[tripda6]

Its already been posted, but stay strong and you can pull through this.

Dont give up the fight man... it aint over til its over.

**** Cancer, man

 

[whytewunder]

Have you tried any alternative treatments? Anything is worth a shot at this point. I truly believe that when you have a lot of people thinking about you and praying for you miraculous things can happen. The power of the mind is amazing.

If worst comes to worst, don't fear death man, don't be sad about it. People become so attached to this material life and physical experience that they don't even realize how much more life offers in death, if that make sense. You may soon be better off than all of us. Should be one hell of an experience. I don't know what your beliefs are but it doesn't even matter. I don't want to use the cliche about going to a better place cause it just sounds stupid to say, but man, be excited about the journey ahead of you. My thoughts are with you, I hope you can find peace one way or another.

PS screw the netflix bro, go watch the sunrise, watch the eyes of your loved ones. Many doctors have said DMT can go along way toward helping the terminally ill find peace and reassurance if you're into that sort of thing. The plant (Ayahuasca) and instructions can be purchased legally online.

I'm not sure why but this post really made me think about life. Good post.

Beezy keep ur head up. Like a bunch of other ppl, I don't know you personally but I know you through a screen name. I can feel the pain in your posts and its heartbreaking. I can't imagine what your going through and what your feeling. As hard as it might be, don't just give in. You owe it to yourself and everyone who cares about you to keep fighting. I don't believe in anything but life has a funny way of working ... Stay positive.

If you need someone to talk to, my inbox is open fam.

Keep us updated.

 

[jada2001retro]

Very hard to read this as I had been diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkins Lymphoma back in August 2010.

To be negative is never what you want to do, that will only make you think of the worst and it'll drive you insane.

Go about your life like it's nothing and it's not even there, man.

Chemo and radiation are VERY hard to go through, I understand it makes you feel like **** as it did with me and I felt at times my body was just going to shut down on me any day, but that attitude isn't something you need when you're battling cancer.

With that said, keep your spirits up and don't think of anything bad man, if you need something shoot me a PM, I've been through this stuff before.

 

[sickickz23]

Rise above cancer dawg. Prayers...

 

[blazinrook]

wise words OP!

wish you the best...

 

[Maserati Fox]

Breezy, I don't even know you but I know what you're going through. I had to watch my Dad suffer for 2.5 years and ended up having to get a stem cell transplant cause his cancer just kept coming back. His immune system was so battered that he ended up getting 2 types of pneumonia, cmv, shingles, and so many other things I can't even remember. I know it's easy to just say 'don't give up' but keep fighting man. Look into any treatment available, experimental trials, alternative medicine, whatever's out there man. Like everyone said above don't lose hope, try and stay positive as hard as it seems. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers op, and I hope to see you on here many more years. 

 

[solexsup]

Damn OP, i remember you talking about how you got better from the cancer. Shame it came back

Keep fighting man.

 

[fade on you]

Like everyone said man, keep fighting. You can beat this. You WILL beat this.

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

Like everyone said man, keep fighting. You can beat this. You WILL beat this.

Stay strong!!

 

[beezylocks]

Very hard to read this as I had been diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkins Lymphoma back in August 2010.

To be negative is never what you want to do, that will only make you think of the worst and it'll drive you insane.

Go about your life like it's nothing and it's not even there, man.

Chemo and radiation are VERY hard to go through, I understand it makes you feel like **** as it did with me and I felt at times my body was just going to shut down on me any day, but that attitude isn't something you need when you're battling cancer.

With that said, keep your spirits up and don't think of anything bad man, if you need something shoot me a PM, I've been through this stuff before.

Went through it bro, that's the thing
Did all these chemos and radiation
Was days away from a bone marrow transplats
Which is why it's worse to me feel me

 

[coolgraymemo]

I could have sworn I had posted in this thread before.

Stay strong brother. If you need someone to talk to, PM me.

 

[wanksta23]

damn man this is just depressing as hell

Even though we've never spoken to each other, i know your NT name since as far back as i can remember, AND knowing you are from san jose (im from sunnyvale)

stay positive man, i got you in my prayers

 

[thebsprky]

Stay strong man, like others have said keep your mind strictly positive, enjoy your fam and enjoy life

Do calm things.... do wild things.... and before you know it it'll be back to how it was

Don't let this death thing get you down, that's what it wants. Show death you're strong and lively Make death upset, it'll leave.

Seen my family and mom go though chemo and radiations and know its hard to keep a smile on your face when you're going through so many motions, but it gets better man.

That better can be a day or longer, just know that it gets.

You put me on to the multiple use of....... this..... haha
So I hope I put you on to something....

real life..... stay strong and keep a smile...

 

[sofa king awsm]

i pray for you beezy

 

[kelkokk]

i dont know if its too late but try that whole food, plant based diet. There's a movie on netflix and this lady had breast cancer and it had spread to her lungs and chest and she started this diet and she recovered. Other people give testimonials as well. It's based on research of two doctors esselstyn(sp) and some other doctor. But basically protein in milk and meat are the main contributors to cancer cells is what they say. 

Hope you pull through and get better.

 

[Animal Thug]

I will say a Prayer for you tonight family, It hurt me reading your first 2 posts - Inshallah you make it and you defeat this cancer. Keep your spirits high, and stay upbeat as you can family.

You're a tough kid, and I have nothing but respect for ya.

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

No more depressing talk for this cat.

Let's keep this cat upbeat, OP want do you want to accomplish right now given your current (not future) circumstances?

Let's get it.....