What Are Your Thoughts On "Taking Breaks" While In A Relationship

[babyfreakshoe]

I hate that song but 

"You have my heart, he just renting"

This is also why I will be a cat lady

, all these breaks and you messing with other people and deep down you know you will go back, yet most of you dont tell those individuals.

They siting there falling in love and you just sowing your royal oats before you commit to your HS sweetheart

Saddest thing is when the guy is always the one asking for a break and each time the women is open armed when he comes back.

Thank God my daddy showed me self worth.

*pets cat* 

 

[illphillip]

I hate that song but 

"You have my heart, he just renting"


This is also why I will be a cat lady , all these breaks and you messing with other people and deep down you know you will go back, yet most of you dont tell those individuals.
They siting there falling in love and you just sowing your royal oats before you commit to your HS sweetheart

Saddest thing is when the guy is always the one asking for a break and each time the women is open armed when he comes back.
Thank God my daddy showed me self worth.


*pets cat* 

But that's what the "break" is. Telling the other person you need some space for whatever reason. At least that way she gets to go live her life as well.

Again, there is a risk for the guy too. I knew my lady wouldn't go wild out, but there was a certainly a chance she could meet someone else and that I'd regret my decision.

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

Exactly...that is life though, no gaurantees and nothing set in stone. It is a risk and if you leave to pursue other things and come back and things have changed up. Those were all consequences and potential outcomes that should be factored into the decision you make.

Most calculated risk don't end up with regret......it's the spur of the moment/impulsive decisions we make that jack things up.

 

[babyfreakshoe]

^Im not talking about the person you are breaking from, Im talking about the people you are using during those breaks, I phrased it wrong.

 

[ksteezy]

Would you rather know the truth now and have a little bit of expected hurt later OR think you know the truth now and made to look like a naive fool while getting extremely hurt later.
Like ksteezy said, it's about keeping the trust.

Breaks are not pretty or flushed or something both parties agree on mutually...every one of our breaks I wanted, she didn't...ask her now that we are maried if she regrets any of them and I guarantee she will say NO...she met other man, I met other women, we had a chance to really evaluate what we had in each other to fully know THIS IS REAL...I do agree though...breaks involve other people and more often than not, these people get caught up in a mess they didnt deserve getting caught in...I've hurt girls whom have caught feelings but I never lied or hid anything from them...I was cristal clear about the situation I was in and they still went for it.

 

[SoleByThePound]

"break" is female language for "i don't know what i want so ima let someone else smash brb"

This should be engraved on a plaque and hung in every boys gym across this great land.

 

[babyfreakshoe]

Breaks are not pretty or flushed or something both parties agree on mutually...every one of our breaks I wanted, she didn't...ask her now that we are maried if she regrets any of them and I guarantee she will say NO...she met other man, I met other women, we had a chance to really evaluate what we had in each other to fully know THIS IS REAL...I do agree though...breaks involve other people and more often than not, these people get caught up in a mess they didnt deserve getting caught in...I've hurt girls whom have caught feelings but I never lied or hid anything from them...I was cristal clear about the situation I was in and they still went for it.

 

[ksteezy]

If she moves on, fine. I wouldn't have taken the break in the first place if I wasn't ready for that potential consequence. In actuality, if you played it right, the girl is just gonna want you more if you remain confident and do your own thing. This is just my personal experience though it can be different for everyone.

The woman moving on is a risk any man wanting a break should be well aware of

 

[imreallydirknowitzki]

I personally think they are nonsense. If you want to break up, just do it, if not, tough it out and make it work. Communication is key and if a lot of you guys communicated well you'd have no need for a "break."

 

[illphillip]

I personally think they are nonsense. If you want to break up, just do it, if not, tough it out and make it work. Communication is key and if a lot of you guys communicated well you'd have no need for a "break."

And here is exactly what I was talking about. You didn't really read any of the "real life" replies did you?

You just decided to supply us with textbook rhetoric. "tough it out". "Communicate". I literally laughed out loud.

What do I need to "tough out"? I made a conscious decision to live MY life as I I saw fit. Why are you assuming that "breaks" are being taken because things are getting "tough"?

Where exactly is my issue with "communication"? I'm communicating all of this to all of you quite well, exactly the same way I communicated it to my now wife.

 

[babyfreakshoe]

^You always say " you have no real life experiences" maybe you have had too much, and bad ones at that.

So many of you settle for crap because thats whats all around you.

Im not a book, you cant put me on the shelf when you are done reading me, and come back when you realize all the other books have the same climaxes

You see how ksteezy said his chick never wanted the break ups. 

Also I wasnt talking about the person you are taking a break from, I was talking about the people you guys are using during these breaks. 

My comments keep getting push back, this wont show till an hour later

 

[shaft]

If you need a break, why stay with the person at all?

 

[ksteezy]

If you need a break, why stay with the person at all?

I'm sure you thought this made sense..,,but it absolutely makes NO sense at all

Break = no longer together.

 

[imreallydirknowitzki]

And here is exactly what I was talking about. You didn't really read any of the "real life" replies did you?
You just decided to supply us with textbook rhetoric. "tough it out". "Communicate". I literally laughed out loud.
What do I need to "tough out"? I made a conscious decision to live MY life as I I saw fit. Why are you assuming that "breaks" are being taken because things are getting "tough"?
Where exactly is my issue with "communication"? I'm communicating all of this to all of you quite well, exactly the same way I communicated it to my now wife.

I said in my opinion. I wasn't attacking you at all, no need to get mad.

 

[miketysonthekiller]

Breaks

 

[guccjermaine]

Ksteezy knows, I tried to tell yall.

 

[shaft]

I'm sure you thought this made sense..,,but it absolutely makes NO sense at all
Break = no longer together.

So you take a break to stay together...? I am not understanding this logic.

When I hear break, it means you are not together any more. Go hump what you want, she does the same, and then get back together at some later time.


What I am saying is if you need to do that, then why get back together? If you don't care enough for the woman before the break, why would you care more (ore enough) after? I just think that you are not a monogamous (sp?) animal. Release the woman to find a guy that is...


EDIT: You are dating someone, take a break = not dating at all?

or

You are dating, take a break = we are still "together", but you get a "free to bone" pass?

EDIT II: And the question posed is "break while in a relationship"...hence, why take a break to stay together.

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

 

[b smooth 202]

no such thing

 

[so nyuh shi dae]

a break is a technicality that allows a person in a relationship to test the playing field without feeling like they're cheating or it's a last ditch effort to make a dying relationship survive. in the case of the former, either pick one person to be with or find yourself an open relationship. you can't have your cake and eat it too. in the case of the latter, why would you want to save a relationship that's already failing?

 

[ksteezy]

So you take a break to stay together...? I am not understanding this logic.
When I hear break, it means you are not together any more. Go hump what you want, she does the same, and then get back together at some later time.
What I am saying is if you need to do that, then why get back together? If you don't care enough for the woman before the break, why would you care more (ore enough) after? I just think that you are not a monogamous (sp?) animal. Release the woman to find a guy that is...
EDIT: You are dating someone, take a break = not dating at all?
or
You are dating, take a break = we are still "together", but you get a "free to bone" pass?
EDIT II: And the question posed is "break while in a relationship"...hence, why take a break to stay together.

I thought it was common sense that when you are in a relatiOnshop and take a break, you are breaking up....no guarantee to get back together....how does having a GF but taking a break even make sense?...like how do you even explain that to anyone?...

A break = breakup.

 

[tonelow]

Of course I want to hear from KSteezy, IBlink and the rest of the standup dudes but this is open to everyone.

What Are Your Thoughts On "Taking Breaks" While In A Relationship.
Dude really not ready to settle down forever with the woman he wants but he wants to do his thing out there. But he isn't going to do her dirty and do these things behind her back. But he doesn't want to get rid of her forever.

Nothing is specifically wrong with HER but he is just tired of eating the same food day after day. Do you think it is cool to take a break and hopefully get back with her once you got everything out of your system.

Video for beasts

 

I was in this situation twice.... I think the main thing is figuring out if this really is the person you want to be with, a lot of ppl r in relationships just because they think they should be or dont want to be alone. If she is "the one" then you both have to clearly communicate why a break is needed and whats going to have to change before you two can move forward. It's almost as simple as that. If you both really care about each other and are straight up, she'll respect that.

And like Mr. Shuttlesworth said, if you're worried about her whoring it up then you're dating a floozy anyway.

edit: and yes a break=breakup.

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

a break is a technicality that allows a person in a relationship to test the playing field without feeling like they're cheating or it's a last ditch effort to make a dying relationship survive. in the case of the former, either pick one person to be with or find yourself an open relationship. you can't have your cake and eat it too. in the case of the latter, why would you want to save a relationship that's already failing?

So if your boss comes to you at work and tells you that you are failing.......you just quit?


It seems like a lot of NT just live in a black and white world with no grey area.....life happens, people change, circumstances change. Your viewpoints, thoughts, feelings are constantly changing.

You are allowed to leave something and come back to it whenever you feel like it....but there is no saying what you left will still be there exactly how you left it. One shouldn't take a "break" and expect things to remain the same.



Use rationale and logic when making your decisions....if you base all your actions on your emotions, good luck with that.

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

I thought it was common sense that when you are in a relatiOnshop and take a break, you are breaking up....no guarantee to get back together....how does having a GF but taking a break even make sense?...like how do you even explain that to anyone?...
A break = breakup.

Folks speaking like its pausing that old video game on NES to go play Sega right quick and get back to it later.....all before memory cards came out to save one's progress.

 

[so nyuh shi dae]

So if your boss comes to you at work and tells you that you are failing.......you just quit?
It seems like a lot of NT just live in a black and white world with no grey area.....life happens, people change, circumstances change. Your viewpoints, thoughts, feelings are constantly changing.
You are allowed to leave something and come back to it whenever you feel like it....but there is no saying what you left will still be there exactly how you left it. One shouldn't take a "break" and expect things to remain the same.
Use rationale and logic when making your decisions....if you base all your actions on your emotions, good luck with that.

you're actually comparing a job to a relationship? a job is something you have to do, not something that you want to do. you have to make a living. if you're failing at a job, you figure out what you need to do to be successful because you need the pay to survive. you don't need to be in a relationship. you should be around someone for the rest of your life because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. if a relationship is failing, that should be a sign that the individuals in the relationship are not compatible. it should be a pretty big sign if you have to put in significant effort to get along with someone you think you want to be in a relationship with.