Where should woman draw the line?

[levar burton]

It's been a long time since I've been posed with a discussion I feel doesn't have any invitation for contrarian positioning. A friend of mines (lives in Hollywood) was recently dumped by her 3 year boyfriend who recently became junior partner at Malibu reality firm. When asked why she was dumped his response was:

 "I feel I can't trust you, you didn't want me I was broke. In fact you ignored me on a few occasion before we even dated. What changed?"

She's looking for a shoulder to cry on, and for the first time I avoided the discussion because I secretly felt his pain. I have a few buddies who are up and coming and women here in New York tend to brush them off because of their current status. In women's defense, where should she draw the line? Should she want a broke companion? A guy who is "getting his +*$# together?"  Can you blame her for not taking a broke guy too serious?

 

[faint dj3]

A gold digger is a gold digger, your friend or not. If one of her main attributes she's looking for in a mate is lots of money....she's a gold digger and yes you can blame her.
Tell her she needs to re-evaluate her own life and stop looking for someone else to validate it with THEIR bank account. She needs to learn/grow her own wealth then she wouldn't worry about what someone else bringing to the damn table.

 

[patrick bateman]

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[b smooth 202]

If !#$@+*# don't want me because I'm broke I don't want those %$%!!$ anyway...it's all about what you desire for your self...if you want a woman to drain all your money once you get it....go for it...I'll be successful and alone.

success doesn't make the man...man makes success.

 

[ill steelo]

As long as duke is making a conscious effort to better his situation then shorty needs to be down.

 

[levar burton]

Originally Posted by Faint Dj3

 If one of her main attributes she's looking for in a mate is lots of money....she's a gold digger and yes you can blame her.

She owns a house in "The Hills" which she purchased with her earnings, drives a 2012 3 Series and holds a MBA in Economics. 

Tell her she needs to re-evaluate her own life and stop looking for someone else to validate it with THEIR bank account.
Her ex-boyfriend worked at Best Buy (entry level), the current ex-boyfriend bused tables and cleaned real estate before getting his license. She paid for it. 

 She needs to learn/grow her own wealth then she wouldn't worry about what someone else bringing to the damn table.
She supported the guy against her friend's judgement and never complained about his economic status.


...like I said, she literally did everything a guy can ask for. She's also constantly pursued by magazines and nightclubs to model, she isn't ugly by far.
Where are these types of women supposed to draw the line?

 

[703 hwy]

Shoot tell her come holla at me!

 

[thytkerjobs]

She don't got her own money? I hate chicks like this.

 

[milestailsprowe]

I can't get mad at Homeboy. She wouldn't show homie any love when he was broke then catch feelings when he about to make it. Yea It probably was more but He just felt she was a gold digger. There is more to this OP.

The line should be drawn at getting his +@!@ together to making. As long as he is working toward something then it shouldnt be a problem

 

[zero 0123]

 

[levar burton]

Originally Posted by milestailsprowe

She wouldn't show homie any love when he was broke then catch feelings when he about to make it. 

She supported him after they started dating, including real estate classes and seminars. Never judged him, she visited us here in NYC one time and had a falling out with a 9 year friend she over heard talking about him being a scumbag.

 

[cap1229]

After looking at the details provided let's be honest the dude wanted to upgrade from her now he got the juice. If she has her own what's wrong with wanting a dude that can match her or be better? Nothing. Not a damn thing. This is why if a woman has it made and is supporting a dude with no ambition that's a bad match and can spark crazy problems.

 

[milestailsprowe]

Originally Posted by Levar Burton

Originally Posted by milestailsprowe

She wouldn't show homie any love when he was broke then catch feelings when he about to make it. 

She supported him after they started dating, including real estate classes and seminars. Never judged him, she visited us here in NYC one time and had a falling out with a 9 year friend she over heard talking about him being a scumbag.

Ok I knew there was more to this
This is a story of homie getting on in life and getting off of her. I thought they were dating when he was up and coming but it seems it was more. Just clam her down and tell her that her 9year friend was right.

 

[ill steelo]

You shoulda put all that in your OP, now it sounds like he just ain't want her no more

 

[jking0821]

You wasn't with me shootin in the gym
You wasn't with me shootin in the gym

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she dated guys with no money before, she has a lot of money herself...sounds like boy just doesn't want her anymore.  New money wants new P? doesn't want a relationship just wants to ball out and sleep around?  She is really ugly? he kept her around til he made it and could upgrade?

 

[al audi]

Originally Posted by 703 Hwy

Shoot tell her come holla at me!

word son
i needa make my way to CA

 

[levar burton]

This is one isolated incident, I'm curious to know what perspective does this incident shifts things in a female's psyche? Woman scorned? Does Tyler Perry have it right in his films "Woman can do bad by themselves"(never saw a Tyler Perry movie just commercials on B.E.T.)? Does the next man pay for the last two douchebags mistreatment of her? 

Where should a female draw the line in her decision without being viewed as a "gold-digger" or superficial?

 

[cap1229]

This is why I'm so against dating dudes that aren't about there money.

if I'm about my money you better be about it too. Whatever it is you do you better be about it. If they aren't about it then dude can feel emasculated if you help out too much and all this extra #+!% and get his ego bruised xyzzzz

. %#%# that. Lol let him be man.

 

[milestailsprowe]

Originally Posted by Levar Burton

This is one isolated incident, I'm curious to know what perspective does this incident shifts things in a female's psyche? Woman scorned? Does Tyler Perry have it right in his films "Woman can do bad by themselves"(never saw a Tyler Perry movie just commercials on B.E.T.)? Does the next man pay for the last two douchebags mistreatment of her? 

Where should a female draw the line in her decision without being viewed as a "gold-digger" or superficial?

Yes
That depends on the female and it should truthfully be what she is about. 

 

[IATT]

Originally Posted by milestailsprowe

Originally Posted by Levar Burton

Originally Posted by milestailsprowe

She wouldn't show homie any love when he was broke then catch feelings when he about to make it. 

She supported him after they started dating, including real estate classes and seminars. Never judged him, she visited us here in NYC one time and had a falling out with a 9 year friend she over heard talking about him being a scumbag.

Ok I knew there was more to this
This is a story of homie getting on in life and getting off of her. I thought they were dating when he was up and coming but it seems it was more. Just clam her down and tell her that her 9year friend was right.

pretty much..

it's BS for him to say he 'can't trust her' since she was there from before he became anything.. hell, where would dude have been without this girl?!


i mean i obviously dont know this guy.. but based on the limited facts given.. she paid for the course and dude wasn't doing much before her

 

[faint dj3]

Originally Posted by ill steelo

You shoulda put all that in your OP, now it sounds like he just ain't want her no more

lol exactly

 

[blazinrook]

What exactly are u asking op?

U say she wasn't feeling him at first

But then say she held him down on the come up.


Where was she supposed to draw the line? It seems like she tried to hold him down

 

[monstar1]

After the details it sounds like dude might have some issues maybe from him feeling inferior at times before his recent success.  Also maybe she did treat him slightly differently when he didn't have his own. Theres something wrong if he leaving her after he gets his cake up.  It can't be trust issues though if she held him down. 

 

[cap1229]

It really sounds like he maybe was her project case? Fixed him up. Got him going and now he's gone. Should have known that that kind of love relationship doesn't last. She was his bottom bish but didn't see all sides of the coin. Men don't keep the bottom chicks...rarely ever. She groomed him for the next chick tho so kudos?

 

[pharelfor3]

I'm thinking it's about more then just the money. There has to be more to it considering she got her own things.


BTW tell her come holla at me.