- Dec 23, 2006
- 6,571
- 1,089
Delanie also getting 2 touchdowns
2018 NFL Playoffs Vol. Evil Empire vs The UnderDogs in 2 weeks!
- Thread in 'Sports & Training' Thread starter Started by EddieDoyers,
- Start date
- Status
- Feb 12, 2005
- 58,946
- 30,390
https://www.si.com/nfl/2018/01/04/s...com&utm_medium=email&utm_content=2018010412PM
It's all bad. More reason to why the Vikings will blow it.
It's all bad. More reason to why the Vikings will blow it.
EddieDoyers
formerly eddiengambino
- Apr 3, 2012
- 46,208
- 23,878
https://deadspin.com/why-your-nfl-playoff-team-sucks-1821749816
Why Your NFL Playoff Team Sucks
1. Bills
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because this:
Just to refresh your memory, the Bills rested Doug Flutie and played Rob Johnson in a meaningless Week 17 game against the Pats at the end of that season, and Johnson played so well in that de facto exhibition that ownership forced Wade Phillips to give him the start in the playoffs. As long as I live, I don’t think I will ever see a quarterback steal another quarterback’s job quite that way. It remains utterly unique in the history of Enormous QB ****ups. The Bills still haven’t won a playoff game in 23 years. Get one monkey off your back and another larger, angrier monkey takes its place.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Because this:
Also, head coach Sean McDermott made a big show of having his players gather in a kumbaya circle and tell each other their life stories… then he benched Tyrod Taylor for Nathan Peterman. You can be a touchy-feely coach, or you can be an autocrat dressed to hang out in a deer stand, but you can’t be both.
Oh, and **** Richie Incognito. Nothing takes the shine of this playoff berth like seeing that enormous meatbaby happy.
@Warmachine85
2. Vikings
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: If you are an obnoxious football purist who still writes “Defense wins championships” in the comments section of PFT like that’s a new and valuable insight, this is your team. This defense suffocates opposing offenses to the point where Case Keenum only has to make one play per game for the Vikings to win. He got MVP support for this while Harrison Smith missed the Pro Bowl.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: This is the part where I again disclose that I am a Vikings fan, therefore I should recuse myself from ranking them here at all. Frankly, I deserve the suffering this team has heaped upon me, body and soul. I am the troll who has been trolled. That Blair Walsh miss is either tragic or hilarious depending upon your mileage, and I can take a guess at yours. The Bills lost four Super Bowls, but at least their run of conference dominance happened after the advent of electricity. My team’s ultimate failures are so distant that I have to sit here and hope they make it to the Super Bowl just so that I can have the privilege of personally witnessing them lose it. At home. **** me with a power saw.
651akathepaul
3. Eagles
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: They just had their best season in over a decade ruined by an injury to their franchise quarterback. Have a heart.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Or don’t, because Philly fans suck huge balls. God lives to strike down Philly fans just when they are at their cockiest, and I can’t blame Him. Even when Philly teams lose, their fans still try to circumvent such pesky facts by inventing their own unofficial honors. That time Allen Iverson stepped over Ty Lue? Philly fans think that’s an actual championship. It gets irritating. Also, the sooner Nick Foles is out of these playoffs, the better. The playoffs officially start only when all the bad QBs have been weeded out.
stillin729
@itsaboutthattime
4. Chiefs
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because they won the Super Bowl so long ago that they basically haven’t won it at all. Everyone who was around during that victory is now dead. That old footage of Hank Stram demanding his team masturbate the ball down the field? That was taken in 1886. The only things people remember about the Chiefs in the playoffs now are Marty refusing to pass and Andy Reid blowing a 28-point lead to Chuck Pagano.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: You and I both know that this team is the only hope we have of avoiding a Pittsburgh–New England AFC title game. We also both know that they’ll **** it up with a horrible divisional round loss. I don’t even have to watch. I have the whole script memorized. None of their playmakers will make plays. They’ll fall behind by 10 points, hang around the rest of the game, use all their timeouts to pull within three, and then **** up the onside kick with eight seconds left. The only time Andy feels urgency is 30 minutes after eating a taco platter.
kdslittlebro
5. Jaguars
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because their fans have had to listen to *******s like me drone on and on about how the Jags aren’t relevant and how they should relocate to Vancouver or Tulsa or pretty much anywhere else to become cool again. And really, is there a more obnoxious complaint about a football team? DURRRRR THIS TEAM DOESN’T FIT IN WITH THE MONOCULTURE! It’s like asking a football team to become a Game of Thrones episode recap.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Blake Bortles has five picks in his last two games. It would be a hilarious indictment of the NFL if that guy somehow staggers into a Super Bowl. Also, I’ve spent so much time goofing on head coach and dad-negotiating-prices-at-a-car-dealership Doug Marrone for being WIDELY RESPECTED that I will be deeply unhappy if he really DOES become widely respected.
@NickFolarin
6. Rams
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because they’re fun! They have Todd Gurley leapfrogging defenders six times a game and Sean McVay skipping around on the sideline drawing up cool passing plays and looking like discount Hawkeye. This is also the part where I declare my preference for the white horns on the helmet and not the yellow ones. Those white horns make the Rams look extremely rammy.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Because L.A. still doesn’t give a ****. This team could be unbeaten and Gurley could literally take flight during games like Superman and Angelenos would still rather avoid the traffic. It’s what Stan Kroenke and his squirrel hair deserve.
@casper90403
7. Saints
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Let us pause for a moment to salute Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara for being the first running back duo in league history to each have 1,500+ yards from the scrimmage in the same season. Is this the only RBBC in fantasy history to actually work? Without doing any research, I say yes. Unlike other heartless coaches, Sean Payton understands your fantasy needs.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Look at this ****:
Enough already, New Orleans. I know what happened to Saints fans the last time this team won a Super Bowl. GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO Y’ALL DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO MAH CITY AND MAH PAWPAW. Southerners think they’re the only people allowed to have food or parents.
@freddy fig
8. Titans
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: This has been Marcus Mariota’s worst season as a professional, but it sure would be nice to see him get his **** together and make some sort of miraculous, Eli-style playoff run. I can tell he’s nice because he’s Hawaiian!
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Because that 1999 Titans team wasn’t really all that good. Frankly, any time the Titans are good, they are still utterly underwhelming. This year’s supposedly promising outfit had a net point differential of -22. They don’t belong here. They belong at home and Mike Mularkey belongs in The XFL 2: The X-ening. And remember that Kerry Collins outfit that somehow went 13-3? That team was ******* awful. I’m glad the Titans have never won jack ****.
tennhouse2
9. Panthers
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Cam can be a clueless boob sometimes. But when he rolls out and starts throwing lasers 30 yards downfield…God, there’s no one else who can do what he does. And how nice would it be for him to win a title and finally shut down the take spigot? You could also make a very convincing case that this team is the NFC’s best hope to beat New England, and that more or less supersedes any other hang-ups I have about Carolina, except perhaps…
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Imagine the Panthers winning it all and Roger Goodell handing the Lombardi Trophy to Jerry ******* Richardson, who is selling the team after this season because he couldn’t stop grabbing ***. Tell me that wouldn’t be the most NFL thing that has ever happened. Just a repulsive, horny old man standing triumphantly on a podium, insincerely dedicating his trophy to the fans. I know CBS isn’t doing the Super Bowl, but I guarantee Jim Nantz would hop on Facebook Live just to broadcast that moment personally, he’d be so touched.
@youngthundercat
10. Falcons
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: 28-3.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: 28-3. I’m sorry, but you guys had your chance and you blew it. I have zero interest in watching you blow it yet again. If this team gets a rematch with the Pats, they’ll lose by 70. It’s a lock. Go the **** away.
@Armada
11. Steelers
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because Todd Haley promises to ride the mechanical bull at the Tequila Cowboy if they win it all.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Oh god, **** no. In a weak moment, I can picture the Steelers being a palatable alternative to the Patriots, especially with Le’Veon Bell and Antonio Brown around to liven things up. But then I remember their fans, and I listen to Big Ben talk, and I see that their offense is NEVER healthy for the playoffs, and all of that potential good will is GONE. Gone forever. The Steelers should rot in a garbage dump.
That’s it. That’s all the playoff teams. Now let’s get to the games!
@spacedoodoo
Why Your NFL Playoff Team Sucks
1. Bills
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because this:
Just to refresh your memory, the Bills rested Doug Flutie and played Rob Johnson in a meaningless Week 17 game against the Pats at the end of that season, and Johnson played so well in that de facto exhibition that ownership forced Wade Phillips to give him the start in the playoffs. As long as I live, I don’t think I will ever see a quarterback steal another quarterback’s job quite that way. It remains utterly unique in the history of Enormous QB ****ups. The Bills still haven’t won a playoff game in 23 years. Get one monkey off your back and another larger, angrier monkey takes its place.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Because this:
Also, head coach Sean McDermott made a big show of having his players gather in a kumbaya circle and tell each other their life stories… then he benched Tyrod Taylor for Nathan Peterman. You can be a touchy-feely coach, or you can be an autocrat dressed to hang out in a deer stand, but you can’t be both.
Oh, and **** Richie Incognito. Nothing takes the shine of this playoff berth like seeing that enormous meatbaby happy.
@Warmachine85
2. Vikings
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: If you are an obnoxious football purist who still writes “Defense wins championships” in the comments section of PFT like that’s a new and valuable insight, this is your team. This defense suffocates opposing offenses to the point where Case Keenum only has to make one play per game for the Vikings to win. He got MVP support for this while Harrison Smith missed the Pro Bowl.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: This is the part where I again disclose that I am a Vikings fan, therefore I should recuse myself from ranking them here at all. Frankly, I deserve the suffering this team has heaped upon me, body and soul. I am the troll who has been trolled. That Blair Walsh miss is either tragic or hilarious depending upon your mileage, and I can take a guess at yours. The Bills lost four Super Bowls, but at least their run of conference dominance happened after the advent of electricity. My team’s ultimate failures are so distant that I have to sit here and hope they make it to the Super Bowl just so that I can have the privilege of personally witnessing them lose it. At home. **** me with a power saw.
651akathepaul
3. Eagles
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: They just had their best season in over a decade ruined by an injury to their franchise quarterback. Have a heart.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Or don’t, because Philly fans suck huge balls. God lives to strike down Philly fans just when they are at their cockiest, and I can’t blame Him. Even when Philly teams lose, their fans still try to circumvent such pesky facts by inventing their own unofficial honors. That time Allen Iverson stepped over Ty Lue? Philly fans think that’s an actual championship. It gets irritating. Also, the sooner Nick Foles is out of these playoffs, the better. The playoffs officially start only when all the bad QBs have been weeded out.
stillin729
@itsaboutthattime 4. Chiefs
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because they won the Super Bowl so long ago that they basically haven’t won it at all. Everyone who was around during that victory is now dead. That old footage of Hank Stram demanding his team masturbate the ball down the field? That was taken in 1886. The only things people remember about the Chiefs in the playoffs now are Marty refusing to pass and Andy Reid blowing a 28-point lead to Chuck Pagano.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: You and I both know that this team is the only hope we have of avoiding a Pittsburgh–New England AFC title game. We also both know that they’ll **** it up with a horrible divisional round loss. I don’t even have to watch. I have the whole script memorized. None of their playmakers will make plays. They’ll fall behind by 10 points, hang around the rest of the game, use all their timeouts to pull within three, and then **** up the onside kick with eight seconds left. The only time Andy feels urgency is 30 minutes after eating a taco platter.
kdslittlebro
5. Jaguars
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because their fans have had to listen to *******s like me drone on and on about how the Jags aren’t relevant and how they should relocate to Vancouver or Tulsa or pretty much anywhere else to become cool again. And really, is there a more obnoxious complaint about a football team? DURRRRR THIS TEAM DOESN’T FIT IN WITH THE MONOCULTURE! It’s like asking a football team to become a Game of Thrones episode recap.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Blake Bortles has five picks in his last two games. It would be a hilarious indictment of the NFL if that guy somehow staggers into a Super Bowl. Also, I’ve spent so much time goofing on head coach and dad-negotiating-prices-at-a-car-dealership Doug Marrone for being WIDELY RESPECTED that I will be deeply unhappy if he really DOES become widely respected.
@NickFolarin
6. Rams
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because they’re fun! They have Todd Gurley leapfrogging defenders six times a game and Sean McVay skipping around on the sideline drawing up cool passing plays and looking like discount Hawkeye. This is also the part where I declare my preference for the white horns on the helmet and not the yellow ones. Those white horns make the Rams look extremely rammy.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Because L.A. still doesn’t give a ****. This team could be unbeaten and Gurley could literally take flight during games like Superman and Angelenos would still rather avoid the traffic. It’s what Stan Kroenke and his squirrel hair deserve.
@casper90403
7. Saints
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Let us pause for a moment to salute Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara for being the first running back duo in league history to each have 1,500+ yards from the scrimmage in the same season. Is this the only RBBC in fantasy history to actually work? Without doing any research, I say yes. Unlike other heartless coaches, Sean Payton understands your fantasy needs.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Look at this ****:
Enough already, New Orleans. I know what happened to Saints fans the last time this team won a Super Bowl. GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO Y’ALL DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO MAH CITY AND MAH PAWPAW. Southerners think they’re the only people allowed to have food or parents.
@freddy fig
8. Titans
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: This has been Marcus Mariota’s worst season as a professional, but it sure would be nice to see him get his **** together and make some sort of miraculous, Eli-style playoff run. I can tell he’s nice because he’s Hawaiian!
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Because that 1999 Titans team wasn’t really all that good. Frankly, any time the Titans are good, they are still utterly underwhelming. This year’s supposedly promising outfit had a net point differential of -22. They don’t belong here. They belong at home and Mike Mularkey belongs in The XFL 2: The X-ening. And remember that Kerry Collins outfit that somehow went 13-3? That team was ******* awful. I’m glad the Titans have never won jack ****.
tennhouse2
9. Panthers
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Cam can be a clueless boob sometimes. But when he rolls out and starts throwing lasers 30 yards downfield…God, there’s no one else who can do what he does. And how nice would it be for him to win a title and finally shut down the take spigot? You could also make a very convincing case that this team is the NFC’s best hope to beat New England, and that more or less supersedes any other hang-ups I have about Carolina, except perhaps…
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Imagine the Panthers winning it all and Roger Goodell handing the Lombardi Trophy to Jerry ******* Richardson, who is selling the team after this season because he couldn’t stop grabbing ***. Tell me that wouldn’t be the most NFL thing that has ever happened. Just a repulsive, horny old man standing triumphantly on a podium, insincerely dedicating his trophy to the fans. I know CBS isn’t doing the Super Bowl, but I guarantee Jim Nantz would hop on Facebook Live just to broadcast that moment personally, he’d be so touched.
@youngthundercat
10. Falcons
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: 28-3.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: 28-3. I’m sorry, but you guys had your chance and you blew it. I have zero interest in watching you blow it yet again. If this team gets a rematch with the Pats, they’ll lose by 70. It’s a lock. Go the **** away.
@Armada
11. Steelers
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because Todd Haley promises to ride the mechanical bull at the Tequila Cowboy if they win it all.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Oh god, **** no. In a weak moment, I can picture the Steelers being a palatable alternative to the Patriots, especially with Le’Veon Bell and Antonio Brown around to liven things up. But then I remember their fans, and I listen to Big Ben talk, and I see that their offense is NEVER healthy for the playoffs, and all of that potential good will is GONE. Gone forever. The Steelers should rot in a garbage dump.
That’s it. That’s all the playoff teams. Now let’s get to the games!
@spacedoodoo
DeadsetAce
Supporter
- May 31, 2004
- 107,493
- 53,680
https://deadspin.com/why-your-nfl-playoff-team-sucks-1821749816
Why Your NFL Playoff Team Sucks
1. Bills
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because this:
Just to refresh your memory, the Bills rested Doug Flutie and played Rob Johnson in a meaningless Week 17 game against the Pats at the end of that season, and Johnson played so well in that de facto exhibition that ownership forced Wade Phillips to give him the start in the playoffs. As long as I live, I don’t think I will ever see a quarterback steal another quarterback’s job quite that way. It remains utterly unique in the history of Enormous QB ****ups. The Bills still haven’t won a playoff game in 23 years. Get one monkey off your back and another larger, angrier monkey takes its place.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Because this:
Also, head coach Sean McDermott made a big show of having his players gather in a kumbaya circle and tell each other their life stories… then he benched Tyrod Taylor for Nathan Peterman. You can be a touchy-feely coach, or you can be an autocrat dressed to hang out in a deer stand, but you can’t be both.
Oh, and **** Richie Incognito. Nothing takes the shine of this playoff berth like seeing that enormous meatbaby happy.
@Warmachine85
2. Vikings
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: If you are an obnoxious football purist who still writes “Defense wins championships” in the comments section of PFT like that’s a new and valuable insight, this is your team. This defense suffocates opposing offenses to the point where Case Keenum only has to make one play per game for the Vikings to win. He got MVP support for this while Harrison Smith missed the Pro Bowl.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: This is the part where I again disclose that I am a Vikings fan, therefore I should recuse myself from ranking them here at all. Frankly, I deserve the suffering this team has heaped upon me, body and soul. I am the troll who has been trolled. That Blair Walsh miss is either tragic or hilarious depending upon your mileage, and I can take a guess at yours. The Bills lost four Super Bowls, but at least their run of conference dominance happened after the advent of electricity. My team’s ultimate failures are so distant that I have to sit here and hope they make it to the Super Bowl just so that I can have the privilege of personally witnessing them lose it. At home. **** me with a power saw.
3. Eagles
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: They just had their best season in over a decade ruined by an injury to their franchise quarterback. Have a heart.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Or don’t, because Philly fans suck huge balls. God lives to strike down Philly fans just when they are at their cockiest, and I can’t blame Him. Even when Philly teams lose, their fans still try to circumvent such pesky facts by inventing their own unofficial honors. That time Allen Iverson stepped over Ty Lue? Philly fans think that’s an actual championship. It gets irritating. Also, the sooner Nick Foles is out of these playoffs, the better. The playoffs officially start only when all the bad QBs have been weeded out.
4. Chiefs
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because they won the Super Bowl so long ago that they basically haven’t won it at all. Everyone who was around during that victory is now dead. That old footage of Hank Stram demanding his team masturbate the ball down the field? That was taken in 1886. The only things people remember about the Chiefs in the playoffs now are Marty refusing to pass and Andy Reid blowing a 28-point lead to Chuck Pagano.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: You and I both know that this team is the only hope we have of avoiding a Pittsburgh–New England AFC title game. We also both know that they’ll **** it up with a horrible divisional round loss. I don’t even have to watch. I have the whole script memorized. None of their playmakers will make plays. They’ll fall behind by 10 points, hang around the rest of the game, use all their timeouts to pull within three, and then **** up the onside kick with eight seconds left. The only time Andy feels urgency is 30 minutes after eating a taco platter.
5. Jaguars
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because their fans have had to listen to *******s like me drone on and on about how the Jags aren’t relevant and how they should relocate to Vancouver or Tulsa or pretty much anywhere else to become cool again. And really, is there a more obnoxious complaint about a football team? DURRRRR THIS TEAM DOESN’T FIT IN WITH THE MONOCULTURE! It’s like asking a football team to become a Game of Thrones episode recap.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Blake Bortles has five picks in his last two games. It would be a hilarious indictment of the NFL if that guy somehow staggers into a Super Bowl. Also, I’ve spent so much time goofing on head coach and dad-negotiating-prices-at-a-car-dealership Doug Marrone for being WIDELY RESPECTED that I will be deeply unhappy if he really DOES become widely respected.
@NickFolarin
6. Rams
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because they’re fun! They have Todd Gurley leapfrogging defenders six times a game and Sean McVay skipping around on the sideline drawing up cool passing plays and looking like discount Hawkeye. This is also the part where I declare my preference for the white horns on the helmet and not the yellow ones. Those white horns make the Rams look extremely rammy.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Because L.A. still doesn’t give a ****. This team could be unbeaten and Gurley could literally take flight during games like Superman and Angelenos would still rather avoid the traffic. It’s what Stan Kroenke and his squirrel hair deserve.
@casper90403
7. Saints
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Let us pause for a moment to salute Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara for being the first running back duo in league history to each have 1,500+ yards from the scrimmage in the same season. Is this the only RBBC in fantasy history to actually work? Without doing any research, I say yes. Unlike other heartless coaches, Sean Payton understands your fantasy needs.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Look at this ****:
Enough already, New Orleans. I know what happened to Saints fans the last time this team won a Super Bowl. GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO Y’ALL DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO MAH CITY AND MAH PAWPAW. Southerners think they’re the only people allowed to have food or parents.
@freddy fig
8. Titans
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: This has been Marcus Mariota’s worst season as a professional, but it sure would be nice to see him get his **** together and make some sort of miraculous, Eli-style playoff run. I can tell he’s nice because he’s Hawaiian!
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Because that 1999 Titans team wasn’t really all that good. Frankly, any time the Titans are good, they are still utterly underwhelming. This year’s supposedly promising outfit had a net point differential of -22. They don’t belong here. They belong at home and Mike Mularkey belongs in The XFL 2: The X-ening. And remember that Kerry Collins outfit that somehow went 13-3? That team was ****ing awful. I’m glad the Titans have never won jack ****.
9. Panthers
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Cam can be a clueless boob sometimes. But when he rolls out and starts throwing lasers 30 yards downfield…God, there’s no one else who can do what he does. And how nice would it be for him to win a title and finally shut down the take spigot? You could also make a very convincing case that this team is the NFC’s best hope to beat New England, and that more or less supersedes any other hang-ups I have about Carolina, except perhaps…
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Imagine the Panthers winning it all and Roger Goodell handing the Lombardi Trophy to Jerry ****ing Richardson, who is selling the team after this season because he couldn’t stop grabbing ***. Tell me that wouldn’t be the most NFL thing that has ever happened. Just a repulsive, horny old man standing triumphantly on a podium, insincerely dedicating his trophy to the fans. I know CBS isn’t doing the Super Bowl, but I guarantee Jim Nantz would hop on Facebook Live just to broadcast that moment personally, he’d be so touched.
@youngthundercat
10. Falcons
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: 28-3.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: 28-3. I’m sorry, but you guys had your chance and you blew it. I have zero interest in watching you blow it yet again. If this team gets a rematch with the Pats, they’ll lose by 70. It’s a lock. Go the **** away.
@Armada
11. Steelers
WHY YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM: Because Todd Haley promises to ride the mechanical bull at the Tequila Cowboy if they win it all.
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: Oh god, **** no. In a weak moment, I can picture the Steelers being a palatable alternative to the Patriots, especially with Le’Veon Bell and Antonio Brown around to liven things up. But then I remember their fans, and I listen to Big Ben talk, and I see that their offense is NEVER healthy for the playoffs, and all of that potential good will is GONE. Gone forever. The Steelers should rot in a garbage dump.
That’s it. That’s all the playoff teams. Now let’s get to the games!
@spacedoodoo
where's my team?
- Dec 29, 2008
- 68,176
- 24,538
Eagles players taking notes
- Nov 17, 2004
- 37,287
- 19,666
where's my team?
**** them
- Feb 13, 2005
- 5,667
- 1,514
- Feb 12, 2005
- 58,946
- 30,390
WHY THEY STILL SUCK: This is the part where I again disclose that I am a Vikings fan, therefore I should recuse myself from ranking them here at all. Frankly, I deserve the suffering this team has heaped upon me, body and soul. I am the troll who has been trolled. That Blair Walsh miss is either tragic or hilarious depending upon your mileage, and I can take a guess at yours. The Bills lost four Super Bowls, but at least their run of conference dominance happened after the advent of electricity. My team’s ultimate failures are so distant that I have to sit here and hope they make it to the Super Bowl just so that I can have the privilege of personally witnessing them lose it. At home. **** me with a power saw.
Pretty much...But since I wasn't around for the 4 SB losses, most of my pain is from the 3 NFCCG losses and Blair game. Just getting to the SB will feel so good as a fan, but I don't know how long that will last because if they lost it, I'm sure it would hurt too.
And the Blair miss did hurt a bit, but it was mostly funny. I probably took that one the best because it was half expected just as I fully expect the Vikings to mess up this postseason. It's how I've been built as a fan now, so I'm about as numb to it as one could get.
- Feb 12, 2005
- 58,946
- 30,390
TipsyMcStagga
formerly kod843
- Aug 1, 2011
- 12,574
- 15,255
As a Vikes fan, I've suffered through the same pains as
651akathepaul
.
Wtbs, I'm still letting my nuts hang! Vikes are the team to beat in the NFC and I'm going with the odds that they finally won't let me down this time.
I'll be satisfied to at least play the SB at home. I want the Falcons and Panthers to win this weekend so we can avenge that fluke loss in Charlotte.
651akathepaul
.Wtbs, I'm still letting my nuts hang! Vikes are the team to beat in the NFC and I'm going with the odds that they finally won't let me down this time.
I'll be satisfied to at least play the SB at home. I want the Falcons and Panthers to win this weekend so we can avenge that fluke loss in Charlotte.
- Mar 16, 2010
- 149,250
- 184,120
Zimmer really should get COTY one of these years,the way he's turned the Vikes into one of the Premier NFC squads during his time there has to be commended. Dude had Cincy playing tremendous defense and he's done the same in Minny
- Feb 12, 2005
- 58,946
- 30,390
Can't tell you how ecstatic I was when they hired him. It had already felt like the stars were aligning...
They better win this ****
- Mar 16, 2010
- 149,250
- 184,120
There's a playoff game tomorrow?
DeadsetAce
Supporter
- May 31, 2004
- 107,493
- 53,680
nah...patriots dynasty is crumbling is the hot topic
- Oct 22, 2012
- 22,033
- 10,002
- Oct 22, 2012
- 22,033
- 10,002
do you even nfl bruh?
kdslittlebro
Banned
- Feb 11, 2016
- 22,357
- 13,700
- Aug 4, 2010
- 6,279
- 2,102
As a Vikes fan, I've suffered through the same pains as
Wtbs, I'm still letting my nuts hang! Vikes are the team to beat in the NFC and I'm going with the odds that they finally won't let me down this time.
I'll be satisfied to at least play the SB at home. I want the Falcons and Panthers to win this weekend so we can avenge that fluke loss in Charlotte.
Yawn. Still not buying Minny as the clear cut favorite in the NFC. *shrug*
TipsyMcStagga
formerly kod843
- Aug 1, 2011
- 12,574
- 15,255
Then you obviously haven't been paying attention 
- Feb 12, 2005
- 58,946
- 30,390
Better wake yo *** up then!
- Mar 16, 2010
- 149,250
- 184,120
DeadsetAce
Supporter
- May 31, 2004
- 107,493
- 53,680
do you even NTNFL, bruh?
- Aug 4, 2010
- 6,279
- 2,102
Then you obviously haven't been paying attention
Any team in the NFC can hand a L to the other 5. Y'all aren't THAT much better than any of the NFC playoff teams IF that
Defense is solid, but Carolina ran for 200 on y'all not that long ago. The unit isn't teflon. And they definitely don't have a better offense than Atlanta, NO, LA, or Carolina. I've been paying very close attention.
- Feb 12, 2005
- 58,946
- 30,390
How dare you!
- Jan 29, 2013
- 24,071
- 23,191
- Status
