At possibly the lowest point I've ever been

[iblink]

I'm normally the kind of person who rolls with the punches and I'd like to think I'm a strong person who can deal with his problems. But it's getting more difficult to roll with the punches when they keep coming at you at such a fast pace. This entire year has been one curve ball after the next. I've lost family, my pops whose been in jail since I was 10 got denied parole, my moms is struggling financially, I'm struggling financially, my grades have taken a turn for the absolute worse, the one girl I can truly say I loved essentially told me I wasn't what she wanted any more. One thing after another. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with no one in my corner. I've alienated myself from my friends, I sleep around with girls I could care less about, and I've been drinking heavily since Jan 1st. It got so crazy that one drunk night I eyed my shot gun. I was ashamed to even look in the mirror after that because I can't believe those thoughts actually crossed my mind. I don't know how to reach out to my friends or even my line brothers because I've been distancing myself from everyone all year. Recently decided to move back home and transfer schools because I don't see my situation improving here. Not sure exactly what I'm Hoping to get accomplished with this thread. But any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

 

[oidreez]

keep your head up, count your blessings, the cup is half full, tomorrow is another day, pray on it, etc

 

[mmg]

your only given what you can handle.

have faith and just push thru, its always the darkest right before everything falls into place.

idk about the situations about your parents so im not at liberty to discuss.

but as for that girl, its better now that you find this out rather than being married, or with kids.

 

[murdamiljoker]

Stay stong God never gives you more than you can handle. Look at it as a testament to your strength and remeber theres always someone out there in a worser situation

 

[doublejs07]

Talk to a counselor at whatever school you are attending.

 

[cap1229]

Transfering schools was the best choice you could have made for yourself. Look out for your star player (you), regroup while lick your wounds. You will heal in time and come back when your ready. Good luck op.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Talk to someone. It can help a lot. Like Jeff Jarrett said

I hope you get through this man, seriously.

Keep your head up and just remember

 

[thunderchunk69]

Originally Posted by iBlink

the one girl I can truly say I loved essentially told me I wasn't what she wanted any more

funny how this always seems to happen.
but a girl that can't invest time in someone they used to say they loved isn't worth it.

in the long run, it's a good thing, she would have just wasted your commitment if you gave it to her.

I wish I had some advice "tailor-suited" to your issues, but I don't, other than long walks and working out seem to help me.

when I had some family/work issues last year, I asked my ex if I could stay with her for a week or 2, it was ok, we argued, but at least I was in the sun and away from some issues 

I remember when you posted more, you seemed like a cool person, and I don't say that much 

sorry for the smileys, I just know how crazy life can get

 

[mrkane]

Originally Posted by MMG

your only given what you can handle.

have faith and just push thru, its always the darkest right before everything falls into place.

idk about the situations about your parents so im not at liberty to discuss.

but as for that girl, its better now that you find this out rather than being married, or with kids.

truth...

We all going thru it in some form or fashion. Just gotta keep ya head up and smile.  


Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope



  

 

[4wrestling]

If they are really your friends, it won't matter if you haven't talked to them in months. Go talk to them.

 

[midnight hype]

My advice to you is to Find God, congregate yourself with postive people maybe a local church around your way. i never came close to what you have encountered but i remmber when i was in the military i was lonely and i felt out of place so i went to church and it was fun because people are alwayssssss cheerrful and theyre willing to help no matter what the outcome is maybe you would proably find a new gf over there as well and she may stick with you through thick and thin. Just be around positive people thats all i can say as of now. try to make youre old man proud by excelling in school try to achieve all youre subjects so you can get that job that would aide your moms financial strain. i wish you the best of luck suicide is not the way to go fam. thats a one way ticket to an enternity in......... maybe with the shot gun you could pick a sport hunting... once againg good luck.

 

[guttagetsbusy]

Being vocal is awesome and making this thread is a great first step. I'd highly recommend finding a counselor & a psychiatrist to talk to. There's a mountain of things on your mind right now and the best thing for you to do is get out of your head, if that makes sense.

It's easier said than done, and you may need medicinal assistance for this, but you've got to strictly have positive thoughts. Speak to someone immediately, and let it all out, with what has happened to you so far, it seems like if any negative thing occurs, you may react to it dangerously.

 

[iblink]

A little more detail:

My grandpop died from cancer. My dad told me he may also have it and that I should get checked myself. About a week later, I get an enlarged hemorrhoid. Was too scared of the results to get it looked at, so I just let it bleed itself out. During this time, my dad drops the news that he's more than likely going to spend the rest of his life in jail. He's done some grimey #%%+ to me and my mom in the past, so I chalk that up. Just sucks to have never really had a father.

My mom helps me financially while I'm here at college. Been trying to alleviate some of the burden by paying for my own stuff, but I always end up needing help. All the help she's given has essentially put her in a bind.

I myself have debt that these 4 tickets will not help.

Been focusing so much on trying to win my ex back that I've let all other aspects of my life fall out of balance. I put off assignments all semester because I simply couldn't get her out of my head. Pulled away from everyone else, now I can't say I have anyone to confide in. She always said she'd be there no matter what, but I guess I put her through too much with cheating and all that of the past because she's been distant from me all year and off doing her own thing. I don't even want to think of what that entails.

 

[odog24]

 

[thunderchunk69]

how far along are you with school?

Originally Posted by natelav129

In my 21 years I've come to realize that Life generally is filled with more good than bad, it's just the bad that can become so tough that it's all we're really battling.

yup,
I've been depressed for months at a time, but never contemplated suicide.

I think I just came to that same realization that there are always better days.

 

[natelav129]

In my 21 years I've come to realize that Life generally is filled with more good than bad, it's just the bad that can become so tough that it's all we're really battling.

You can't live a life trying to handle the bad, it's best rather to try and enjoy the good. Hey, you've loved a woman....some dudes have and never will have that experience in their entire lives. You're parents are alive and you obviously still care about them dearly, don't forget that.

Finances are always going to be there and can be some of our toughest struggles, but it can always be worse.
I mean I'm in college, flat %!# broke right now and working at a grocery store, basically to earn a check that allows me gas just to get to my %%+*@@ job....but i'm living.
And there's really nowhere to go but up when you're at the bottom man.

Trust me, i've thought about leaving this earth way too often to be normal, but I always come back to what I'd really be giving up and all the pain i would cause my family. It's never worth it. Without having life, we'd have nothing to be sad OR happy about, so what's the purpose. STAY STRONG BRUTHA.

 

[naturalylight]

instead of separating yourself from your friends, why not reach out to them...?

 

[Animal Thug]

Don't let it attack you mentally, because it will eventually get to you physically bro. You'll start aging quick, getting fat, isolating yourself - all of the things that are associated with stress. Don't do that to yourself my man, trust me.

People overcome things in stride, eventually looking back and feeling stronger than ever in doing so - knowing they've defeated the struggle.

@@*# won't last forever famb, but while it's here; fight it the best way you know how. I usually hop in the whip and cruise around town when I feel bummed out.

Having someone to talk too & chop it up with always helps. Doesn't even have to be about your problems. Just take everything one day at a time..

 

[iblink]

In my senior year, was supposed to graduate in December, but I can only imagine what my grades will look like when they're posted and with me transferring, who knows how much I'd be set back.

 

[naturalylight]

If you're supposed to graduate in December, why not make up the slack this summer and ride out another semester in the fall? Wouldn't that be easier than transferring and potentially delaying graduation any further?

 

[thunderchunk69]

I don't want to say to take some time off because I know how hard it could be to go back
and with student loans, you might as well get that degree since you're so close.

unless someone knows more about that than I do?

 

[stay lurkin]

I have been pretty low of and on for awhile now and I turned to motivational books and videos etc. Sounds cheesy but it helps. I even got a tat in kanji that says "watashi no inochi" which means "my life." Its meaning:My life is dictated by my own personal actions , the way I care and show love to others,amd by how hard I am willing to work to achieve my goals.

Every morning when I see it in the mirror let's goooooo

Stay up man. My PM box is always open

 

[iblink]

Read every response and I appreciate all the words you all have offered. I just gotta start taking steps in the right direction. I read that threw earlier today about the NTer out in Cali who jumped out of a window and that struck a nerve with me. I Donny ever want to be responsible for my own demise, but i'd be a liar if I said it never crossed my mind. I just figured I'd start exploring all my options so I don't end up feeling so helpless as that guy did. For all we know, a thread like this could have been a factor in him thinking twice.

 

[yobyellav]

What I have to say has already been said, but it couldn't hurt to say again. Moving home and going to school was a good move. You can help momdukes out financially and start back to focus on your grades. The girl who dipped on you should be forgotten about. Do you for a minute. Get you a friend with benefits which shouldn't be hard since you smashing a bunch already. Try to find a job if you can but don't let it interfere with your school. Give it time. Things will turn around. Spend time with your mom. Once things get better you two can look back and say we did it and got through it together. 
A couple people posted some good songs for you. When I used to blow "Anythang" by DtD was always got playtime and "Keep Ya Head Up" is a classic. Both songs have a message worth listening to. Not to belittle your situation, but somewhere someone is in a worse situation. Anythang is the perfect song for that.

 

[fudgemoney24]

Originally Posted by 4wrestling

If they are really your friends, it won't matter if you haven't talked to them in months. Go talk to them.

This.

Reconnect with your friends.  Having someone to talk to is vital.