Black Culture Discussion Thread

I use to get criticized for saying raising emotional boys/men is a detriment….

Overly emotional men are a danger. Glad it’s being highlighted

How did you get that from a video that is saying boys and men should cry 🤔

Genuinely curious. It's not about not being emotional, it's about understanding the source of your emotions. It's not about not having emotions at all, it's about when you have emotions, examining why you feel the way you do. That's what the video said.
 
How did you get that from a video that is saying boys and men should cry 🤔

Genuinely curious. It's not about not being emotional, it's about understanding the source of your emotions. It's not about not having emotions at all, it's about when you have emotions, examining why you feel the way you do. That's what the video said.
Yeah, from the video he's letting the kid know its okay to cry and to communicate how's he's feeling. More than that, he's telling everyone else in the room not to dismiss his feelings.
 
How did you get that from a video that is saying boys and men should cry 🤔

Genuinely curious. It's not about not being emotional, it's about understanding the source of your emotions. It's not about not having emotions at all, it's about when you have emotions, examining why you feel the way you do. That's what the video said.

Again, just raise your sons or nephews to be emotional. If that’s your preference, so be it. It isn’t mines.

The way you may nurture might be different from me. I’m not influencing any young in my family to be emotional. That’s just my opinion
 
Again, just raise your sons or nephews to be emotional. If that’s your preference, so be it. It isn’t mines.

The way you may nurture might be different from me. I’m not influencing any young in my family to be emotional. That’s just my opinion

Yeah no worries. I wasn't trying to tell you how to do anything you want to do, just wondering how you cosigned a video that says one thing, while you said the opposite of what the video said. All good though.
 
Again, just raise your sons or nephews to be emotional. If that’s your preference, so be it. It isn’t mines.

The way you may nurture might be different from me. I’m not influencing any young in my family to be emotional. That’s just my opinion

I come in peace but when you say emotional are you just referring to crying and sadness?

Because there's way more emotions than just sadness. When I think of emotional men I think of men who never learned how to process their emotions in a healthy way. It doesn't have to look the same for everyone, some people like to exercise, some people like to talk about it, some people it's religion etc.

I do agree with you emotional men are extremely dangerous but it's not just the ones that cry when they're sad, its the loser who curses out and threatens a woman after getting rejected, or the dude who can't take an L after a fight and decides to come back with a gun. All are extremely dangerous to society and are what I would call emotional but to some people only crying and tears is looked at as emotional.
 
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Because there's way more emotions than just sadness. When I think of emotional men I think of men who never learned how to process their emotions in a healthy way. It doesn't have to look the same for everyone, some people like to exercise, some people like to talk about it, some people it's religion etc.

agree w/this in principle, i do think we are in a time where emotionalism is being sort of fetishized tho; especially men’s emotions because generally men are seen as being stunted in this regard. i think most men understand & are acculturated very early that they need to check their emotions as they are going to be judged (if you replace that class with girls, the conversation probably goes differently) but i think because of a bunch of societal things boys today aren’t getting the same lessons (some for better some for worse).

i’m not really sure what it means to ‘process emotions in a healthy way’ and ultimately i am not sure that there is a general approach to it beyond don’t do harm to others and/or one’s self (which can be/is nuanced). ideally, one would be able to interrogate themselves in these moments when emotions swell before it becomes an outburst but that is tough & it so much easier to rationalize a bad decision in those moments…for the reason i wonder if wisdom of men of past eras to be more stoic (which may or may not be a ‘healthy way to process emotions”) is just a better functional approach
 
Yea, the emotions aren't the problem, its how people handle them that's the issue.

That’s what I keep saying. Having emotions is universal. Being emotional is not.

Having emotions isn’t a problem. Any sane person should.

Being emotional as man is where the problem lies. They become unstable and reckless. Types dudes who want to spend the bend and shoot up the whole block
 
That’s what I keep saying. Having emotions is universal. Being emotional is not.

Having emotions isn’t a problem. Any sane person should.

Being emotional as man is where the problem lies. They become unstable and reckless. Types dudes who want to spend the bend and shoot up the whole block
I think it’s probably a pedantic thing but having emotions and being emotional are the same thing to me :lol:. A pejorative has been tagged to “being emotional” but we literally are all emotional beings. I think just splitting these two as separate things adds to negative stereotypes about men and emotions more broadly.
 
I do agree with you emotional men are extremely dangerous but it's not just the ones that cry when they're sad, its the loser who curses out and threatens a woman after getting rejected, or the dude who can't take an L after a fight and decides to come back with a gun. All are extremely dangerous to society and are what I would call emotional but to some people only crying and tears is looked at as emotional.

This is exactly what I mean. Because not having emotions = being a sociopath. Which is on the opposite end of being emotional.

I feel like men should try to reach that sweet spot in the middle. Everyone SHOULD have emotions. Heck, even animals have emotions. Emotions are part of what makes us a living thing.

But I’ve seen to many EMOTIONAL men (again, having emotions and being emotional are two different things) get tricked off the streets.

I have firsthand knowledge. My cousin is doing 25 years in prison on a 2nd degree murder charge. And yes, he was guilty. Got emotional and committed an act that could’ve been avoided (if he was stoic, as someone mentioned) and had the ability to walk away.
 
I think it’s probably a pedantic thing but having emotions and being emotional are the same thing to me :lol:. A pejorative has been tagged to “being emotional” but we literally are all emotional beings. I think just splitting these two as separate things adds to negative stereotypes about men and emotions more broadly.

IMO, having emotions = crying when your kids are born, weeping when something triggers a great memory from your past, hugging or crying with someone, crying or feeling great when you’ve helped someone, etc.

Emotional IMO = when a female rejects you or moves on and you want to do harm, wanting to do harm/rob someone because they have a material item you don’t have, getting mad or throwing something at a fast food worker because they messed up your order.

Like I wrote above, my cousin is in prison for 25 years because he killed someone that he was jealous of. That’s emotional IMO.

I don’t even want that type of energy around me
 
To me, to me. To ME.

Emotional: Uncontrollable public display of emotions. (Wearing emotions on your sleeve)

Emotions: Natural feelings that every human experiences on a constant basis.

Everyone has emotions.
The goal is to move away from being EMOTIONAL.

I had a coach that used to always tell us, "Play with emotion but don't be emotional."
 
Emotional IMO = when a female rejects you or moves on and you want to do harm, wanting to do harm/rob someone because they have a material item you don’t have, getting mad or throwing something at a fast food worker because they messed up your order.
Yea, I think these responses you listed are the result of not knowing how to process your emotions or to emotionally regulate when angry, sad, etc. The first examples you listed would fall under the category of being emotional, IMO.

I personally just think that it causes young boys/men more harm when the idea of “being emotional” is tied to a negative. I’m sure we all grew up as Black men being told that “boys don’t cry” etc, which is really dangerous to the development of emotionally well adjusted men in society.
 
Being emotional is just having an outburst, good or bad. Being emotional and overreacting is what gets folks in trouble.

You're human and have feelings about ****. How you move through it is the import part. Take a beat and come back. Know why you feel that way, communicate it clearly, and take whatever course of action that's appropriate/within reason. That type of approach needs to get taught more.

Even in high-tense situations like getting your car hit and totaled, screaming out "****!" "Are you ******* serious?" "Oh My God!" is being emotional and expected. Threatening to beat the other driver's *** or pull out a gun is overreacting.
 
The good thing about social media is that it shows you things the traditional media controlled by yt people will never show you. I never bought into them calling us "minorities". That's always been psychological warfare to make us feel less than subconsciously. We are global and in almost every corner of the earth

 
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