Break up before Vday **UPDATE pg. 14, yes pics**

[sonoftony]

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by Executive76

keep ya head up.

Find a new chick to help take your mind off her.

posting pics will make you feel better too btw

Don't do this. It will be unfair to whatever girl it is.
Take this time to focus on yourself in order to become a better man. In order to make another girl happy one day you have to be happy with yourself. Focus on you, and they will come. 

this.

give yourself time to heal. keep yourself busy and find something productive to do. when i was in the same situation, i started going to the gym and went in. i changed myself for the better, people noticed and gave positive responses. months later, when i saw my ex and she saw my new physique, she had that "damn i eff'd up look"

so in conclusion when sees you again with that newfound swag, she lost

 

[damnneardeadstock]

as for the breakup before Vday, don't sweat it. remember that valentine's day is really a girl's holiday created by people like hallmark to get your money. true love should be shown 365 days a year, not just 1.

 

[damnneardeadstock]

as for the breakup before Vday, don't sweat it. remember that valentine's day is really a girl's holiday created by people like hallmark to get your money. true love should be shown 365 days a year, not just 1.

 

[niketalker23]

Originally Posted by SonOfTony

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by Executive76

keep ya head up.

Find a new chick to help take your mind off her.

posting pics will make you feel better too btw

Don't do this. It will be unfair to whatever girl it is.
Take this time to focus on yourself in order to become a better man. In order to make another girl happy one day you have to be happy with yourself. Focus on you, and they will come. 

this.

give yourself time to heal. keep yourself busy and find something productive to do. when i was in the same situation, i started going to the gym and went in. i changed myself for the better, people noticed and gave positive responses. months later, when i saw my ex and she saw my new physique, she had that "damn i eff'd up look"

so in conclusion when sees you again with that newfound swag, she lost

Those are the perks yes, but I was to emphasize that he has to do it for himself. Not for anybody else. 

 

[classy freshman]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by What up

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by Classy Freshman

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by ShadyKay NT

Stay strong man.

And to the girls sayin' you shouldn't have gone through her phone...eff em...they hidin sh#t too. Female mentality got me confused sometimes.

No. I'm not.  I don't think anyone, male or female, has the right to go snooping through private emails, texts, etc.  It's like eavesdropping.  No one has any respect these days, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you give up your right to privacy. 

So are you saying he had no right to the truth? Now if he would have gone through the phone and found nothing he would have been wrong, but since he found something he was right for looking through it IMO.

He has the right to know what's going on.  That's the thing though, it's either right or it's wrong.  Not right or wrong depending on the outcome.  It's a violation of privacy regardless.  He obviously has his suspicions.  If you're already suspecting it, you're losing the trust in that relationship for one reason or another.  Be adults about it and sit down and talk about it.  You can usually tell just by the conversation if there is something hinky going on.

Same dudes that come on here and +%+#% and moan about their girl demanding to go through the phone and what not.  No boundaries these days. 

  So naive.  What world are you living in?  Please tell me, I'd like to visit some day.

The 28 years old and married world. 

I am actually in the 30 and sepereated world lol.

IMO I feel like you should be able to test the faithfullness of your partner at anytime just for piece of mind... especially if that other persons faithfulness is in question. 

 

[classy freshman]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by What up

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by Classy Freshman

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by ShadyKay NT

Stay strong man.

And to the girls sayin' you shouldn't have gone through her phone...eff em...they hidin sh#t too. Female mentality got me confused sometimes.

No. I'm not.  I don't think anyone, male or female, has the right to go snooping through private emails, texts, etc.  It's like eavesdropping.  No one has any respect these days, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you give up your right to privacy. 

So are you saying he had no right to the truth? Now if he would have gone through the phone and found nothing he would have been wrong, but since he found something he was right for looking through it IMO.

He has the right to know what's going on.  That's the thing though, it's either right or it's wrong.  Not right or wrong depending on the outcome.  It's a violation of privacy regardless.  He obviously has his suspicions.  If you're already suspecting it, you're losing the trust in that relationship for one reason or another.  Be adults about it and sit down and talk about it.  You can usually tell just by the conversation if there is something hinky going on.

Same dudes that come on here and +%+#% and moan about their girl demanding to go through the phone and what not.  No boundaries these days. 

  So naive.  What world are you living in?  Please tell me, I'd like to visit some day.

The 28 years old and married world. 

I am actually in the 30 and sepereated world lol.

IMO I feel like you should be able to test the faithfullness of your partner at anytime just for piece of mind... especially if that other persons faithfulness is in question. 

 

[niketalker23]

Originally Posted by SonOfTony

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by Executive76

keep ya head up.

Find a new chick to help take your mind off her.

posting pics will make you feel better too btw

Don't do this. It will be unfair to whatever girl it is.
Take this time to focus on yourself in order to become a better man. In order to make another girl happy one day you have to be happy with yourself. Focus on you, and they will come. 

this.

give yourself time to heal. keep yourself busy and find something productive to do. when i was in the same situation, i started going to the gym and went in. i changed myself for the better, people noticed and gave positive responses. months later, when i saw my ex and she saw my new physique, she had that "damn i eff'd up look"

so in conclusion when sees you again with that newfound swag, she lost

Those are the perks yes, but I was to emphasize that he has to do it for himself. Not for anybody else. 

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by blazinRook

How r Nt girls pointing out "sneaking through ones fone is violating trust" but not bringing up that OP's girl is cheating on him..smdh talkin about crossing the line...r y'all validating that cheating is ok but seeking the truth isn't?

why do we need to point out the obvious? some of you are so simple...like if we dont come down on her it must be ok...of course cheating is not ok...

if your girl did and was just 'seeking the truth' but didn't find anything you'd be pissed right?

OP shouldn't have done it but at least he found what he was looking for...now he'll probably always want to go through someone's phone cuz he happened to find something this time...

seems like you already knew something was wrong cuz you said you should have broken up a while ago so just use that as your motivation to keep it moving...luckily v-day is a monday so just go to work/school hit the gym play ball whatever and just act like its a normal monday...go to bed early so you won't have to sit up and think about it...

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by blazinRook

How r Nt girls pointing out "sneaking through ones fone is violating trust" but not bringing up that OP's girl is cheating on him..smdh talkin about crossing the line...r y'all validating that cheating is ok but seeking the truth isn't?

why do we need to point out the obvious? some of you are so simple...like if we dont come down on her it must be ok...of course cheating is not ok...

if your girl did and was just 'seeking the truth' but didn't find anything you'd be pissed right?

OP shouldn't have done it but at least he found what he was looking for...now he'll probably always want to go through someone's phone cuz he happened to find something this time...

seems like you already knew something was wrong cuz you said you should have broken up a while ago so just use that as your motivation to keep it moving...luckily v-day is a monday so just go to work/school hit the gym play ball whatever and just act like its a normal monday...go to bed early so you won't have to sit up and think about it...

 

[nawth21]

Originally Posted by blazinRook

How r Nt girls pointing out "sneaking through ones fone is violating trust" but not bringing up that OP's girl is cheating on him..smdh talkin about crossing the line...r y'all validating that cheating is ok but seeking the truth isn't?

Neither is OK and what do you think people did before cell phones and emails?  Cheating still happened.  And it's not just a violation of trust, it's a violation of privacy.  Why can't one just ask to see the phone if you must "seek the truth"?  So what if he had found nothing?   Like all emails deleted, no texts etc.  Would he think something is up because there's nothing there? What if she had a passcode, would he think she's up to no good because it's locked?  Even if she has completely innocent texts/emails on the phone, without context it can easily be taken out of proportion.  And if he had found nothing at all, it's ok to violate her privacy because he has suspicions?

What you do in your relationship is on you, but snooping through phones is a jealous female trait.

IMO I feel like you should be able to test the faithfullness of yourpartner at anytime just for piece of mind... especially if that otherpersons faithfulness is in question.

That'd suck to feel the need to do that in the first place, I have peace of mind without having to 'test' him. 

 

[nawth21]

Originally Posted by blazinRook

How r Nt girls pointing out "sneaking through ones fone is violating trust" but not bringing up that OP's girl is cheating on him..smdh talkin about crossing the line...r y'all validating that cheating is ok but seeking the truth isn't?

Neither is OK and what do you think people did before cell phones and emails?  Cheating still happened.  And it's not just a violation of trust, it's a violation of privacy.  Why can't one just ask to see the phone if you must "seek the truth"?  So what if he had found nothing?   Like all emails deleted, no texts etc.  Would he think something is up because there's nothing there? What if she had a passcode, would he think she's up to no good because it's locked?  Even if she has completely innocent texts/emails on the phone, without context it can easily be taken out of proportion.  And if he had found nothing at all, it's ok to violate her privacy because he has suspicions?

What you do in your relationship is on you, but snooping through phones is a jealous female trait.

IMO I feel like you should be able to test the faithfullness of yourpartner at anytime just for piece of mind... especially if that otherpersons faithfulness is in question.

That'd suck to feel the need to do that in the first place, I have peace of mind without having to 'test' him. 

 

[sonoftony]

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by SonOfTony

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by Executive76

keep ya head up.

Find a new chick to help take your mind off her.

posting pics will make you feel better too btw

Don't do this. It will be unfair to whatever girl it is.
Take this time to focus on yourself in order to become a better man. In order to make another girl happy one day you have to be happy with yourself. Focus on you, and they will come. 

this.

give yourself time to heal. keep yourself busy and find something productive to do. when i was in the same situation, i started going to the gym and went in. i changed myself for the better, people noticed and gave positive responses. months later, when i saw my ex and she saw my new physique, she had that "damn i eff'd up look"

so in conclusion when sees you again with that newfound swag, she lost

Those are the perks yes, but I was to emphasize that he has to do it for himself. Not for anybody else. 

true true, thats the most important thing

 

[BranchLifestyle]

@Nawth21

All of your points are quite valid.

But my thing about this topic in particular is the first thing a female NTer said was "You should have never gone through her phone" like that was the issue at hand??

No, the issue was that Demize had just gotten played and he needed some consoling.

But then some female NTers talking all this noise about privacy and trust BS...so here we are. Just trying to understand why that is the first thing that came through y'all heads??

 

[sonoftony]

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by SonOfTony

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by Executive76

keep ya head up.

Find a new chick to help take your mind off her.

posting pics will make you feel better too btw

Don't do this. It will be unfair to whatever girl it is.
Take this time to focus on yourself in order to become a better man. In order to make another girl happy one day you have to be happy with yourself. Focus on you, and they will come. 

this.

give yourself time to heal. keep yourself busy and find something productive to do. when i was in the same situation, i started going to the gym and went in. i changed myself for the better, people noticed and gave positive responses. months later, when i saw my ex and she saw my new physique, she had that "damn i eff'd up look"

so in conclusion when sees you again with that newfound swag, she lost

Those are the perks yes, but I was to emphasize that he has to do it for himself. Not for anybody else. 

true true, thats the most important thing

 

[BranchLifestyle]

@Nawth21

All of your points are quite valid.

But my thing about this topic in particular is the first thing a female NTer said was "You should have never gone through her phone" like that was the issue at hand??

No, the issue was that Demize had just gotten played and he needed some consoling.

But then some female NTers talking all this noise about privacy and trust BS...so here we are. Just trying to understand why that is the first thing that came through y'all heads??

 

[ajwings23]

Sorry to hear that Fam..hope all goes well for you.

 

[ajwings23]

Sorry to hear that Fam..hope all goes well for you.

 

[nawth21]

Originally Posted by ShadyKay NT

@Nawth21

All of your points are quite valid.

But my thing about this topic in particular is the first thing a female NTer said was "You should have never gone through her phone" like that was the issue at hand??

No, the issue was that Demize had just gotten played and he needed some consoling.

But then some female NTers talking all this noise about privacy and trust BS...so here we are. Just trying to understand why that is the first thing that came through y'all heads??

The old addage is if you go looking for something, you're going to find it.  And it's not going to be good.  That doesn't mean she's cheating, or is up to no good.  But it can be taken out of context. it could be an email venting to her friend about something and you're not going to like it.  Because whatever it is you're reading, it wasn't meant for you.  It's like reading a diary or journal.  What if he sees guys #s in her contacts and it starts to eat away at his thoughts, and it turns out it's a family member or the mechanic or some BS?  What if whatever it is is completely innocent and he confronts her about it?  How do you think she's going to feel now that she knows he violated her privacy?  These sort of issues affect the relationship.  It's a moot point if she is cheating, but I'm saying there is always the possibility that she is innocent of any wrong doing. 

people that care, have dirt.
Or they're just people who like to have some modicum of privacy.

 

[nawth21]

Originally Posted by ShadyKay NT

@Nawth21

All of your points are quite valid.

But my thing about this topic in particular is the first thing a female NTer said was "You should have never gone through her phone" like that was the issue at hand??

No, the issue was that Demize had just gotten played and he needed some consoling.

But then some female NTers talking all this noise about privacy and trust BS...so here we are. Just trying to understand why that is the first thing that came through y'all heads??

The old addage is if you go looking for something, you're going to find it.  And it's not going to be good.  That doesn't mean she's cheating, or is up to no good.  But it can be taken out of context. it could be an email venting to her friend about something and you're not going to like it.  Because whatever it is you're reading, it wasn't meant for you.  It's like reading a diary or journal.  What if he sees guys #s in her contacts and it starts to eat away at his thoughts, and it turns out it's a family member or the mechanic or some BS?  What if whatever it is is completely innocent and he confronts her about it?  How do you think she's going to feel now that she knows he violated her privacy?  These sort of issues affect the relationship.  It's a moot point if she is cheating, but I'm saying there is always the possibility that she is innocent of any wrong doing. 

people that care, have dirt.
Or they're just people who like to have some modicum of privacy.

 

[38816]

Originally Posted by Classy Freshman

 

I am actually in the 30 and sepereated world lol.

IMO I feel like you should be able to test the faithfullness of your partner at anytime just for piece of mind... especially if that other persons faithfulness is in question. 


i agree, in entering into a commited relationship, i think its understood that one grants the other person certain liberties...

one being, looking in your phone...

i dont care because i have no dirt....

people that care, have dirt.

 

[38816]

Originally Posted by Classy Freshman

 

I am actually in the 30 and sepereated world lol.

IMO I feel like you should be able to test the faithfullness of your partner at anytime just for piece of mind... especially if that other persons faithfulness is in question. 


i agree, in entering into a commited relationship, i think its understood that one grants the other person certain liberties...

one being, looking in your phone...

i dont care because i have no dirt....

people that care, have dirt.

 

[young halo]

you should still post pics though

might make you feel better

 

[young halo]

you should still post pics though

might make you feel better

 

[kingtre]

i came in here to clown you cause i thought it was another one of those threads about dudes cutting off all ties to avoid spending $20 on a box of chocolates and some roses on Valentines day  

i see that it is not tho...

 

[veryanalytical85]

Originally Posted by ItsJaloppyDummy

its harder for guys to find their girl cheating because it isnt expected at all but having so many female friends and about 7 sisters i know how they roll how sneaky they are its kinda scary in today's time girls are more gully than most guys they just get away on most stuff because of their looks. But men we dont get any slack all because of the last guy that did a girl wrong

THANK YOU! Took long enough for someone to point this out.
OP, you did the right thing. Here I'll flip the situation...

A girl I dated in college (before graduating) was super bent on me making her my girlfriend. She tried everyday since the first date (we were 4 months into dating). One day she looked at my phone (without my permission) and questioned me about the girls who text (mind you it was classmates/friends for getting field research done before graduation). I was upset at first but I had nothing to hide. I wasn't seeing anybody else and I was exclusively dating (and smashing, she wanted the same). She then mentions about going to hang out with an old ex. I told her if she does anything anything with him, it's a wrap. Two weeks after, she begged me to make her my girlfriend and then has the audacity to tell me not go get mad because she did %++% with him... kick the +#$%% to the curb. 

Grimey, so you mean to tell me girls' have this entitlement of privacy and yet if I did any of the above, I would be the sucker? Pathetic worst excuse ever, I'm disappointed in a lot of the females of today.