Christmas unappreciation post

[selrahc123]

Yea, I think we're in the same boat man. My mom died like four years ago. I never expected her to come back into my life anyways though you know. A fewpeople have been calling me crazy here lately so maybe I am. Maybe I should get some help haha. But real talk though just find someone you can express youremotions to man. It doesn't have to be your girl or nothing. I think thats the only thing that keeps me going insane.

 

[supermanblue79]

Originally Posted by NjCollector

If it makes ya feel any better my moms n pops n brothers all went on vacation n left me here...crappiest christmas ever....gona go with my girl's fam but they going to make me feel like a black sheep.so dont know. what i will do.

Winter,
Take that same love that you have for your mom and spread it. You know damn well that
she wouldn't want her little man sulking during the holidays.

 

[dearwinter219]

Wanna talk about snappish...

... this girl won't even let me give her aunt a Christmas card because in her view since it's "her" family,she has the right to keep them "SAFE" from "how I am".... what the #%@%? (sidenote: she just called to speak to my dad though. HOW DOESTHIS MAKE EVEN THE MOST REMOTE AMOUNT OF SENSE?). I can't be that bad of a person. I know I'm not. Shorty is just all the way crazy and unfortunately,I am too. Funny thing is, I realized a few days ago just how nuts I am and also that my life is pointless. The main reason for my existence has been to takecare of people. That's how I take care of myself. I find purpose in providing help -- that's why I'm a nursing major AND a musician actually. Musicis MY therapy and I like providing that for others who can relate. Neither of my talents has anything to do with the money, AT ALL. I've always been thattype of person. So anyway, I peaked 2 winters ago when my mom needed me most. Ever since she passed away, I've been walking in circular patterns, goingnowhere, with no one to help but myself. But I've never known how to help myself, only everyone else. That may explain why I'm either on NT droppingadvice or begging for it. I met shorty and displaced my need to nurture with a need to provide; exchanged my circles for figure-eights, so to speak. Just as Ihad been conditioned to endure the verbal attacks from my mom (caused by stress induced from her terminal condition) without holding it against her, I'veendured those of my ex (caused by her her lack of sanity) in much the same way. Just as I understood the cause of my mom's attacks and knew it wasn'treally me they were aimed at, I've done the same w/ this girl. Like I told you, I KNOW why she's crazy and I know that she lashes out atanybody close enough to actually hit. and just like with my mom, I catch the brunt of her frustration because I'm closest to the epicenter. I think thatsince I couldn't cure my mom, I've been trying to "cure" this girl instead.... and it's killing me. But I've been dying for a whilenow anyway. I'm John Coffey. The worst part is that I would have eagerly traded my health for my mom's just as even though this girl has pushed me tothe brink, I'd gladly lend her my sense of security and belonging if it would make her feel better. I feel better equipped to deal with pain anddisappointment than she is because I understand it's nature more. I have a cause/effect mind and she doesn't. It hurts me to see and have seen thewomen I love in so much never ending pain, but she'll never understand that and so here I am. I'm twice as lonely as last winter and just as powerlessto change any of it.

Make sense?




-

 

[nawth21]

Despite your lack of paragraphs, it makes complete sense. And realizing your issues are a step in the right direction. We're all nutty in our own ways -does she realize what's "wrong" with her? Unfortunately Rilla you can't fix people, she has to fix herself. You can help her and aid her inher journey, but she needs to carry herself forward on her own.

 

[DeadsetAce]

winter clear this up for me - are you with this girl but just going thru a funk, or you guys completely broken up?

 

[lb510]

Originally Posted by DearWinter219

Honestly, I feel like life took a dump on me, and Christmas is always a reminder. This is a holiday for giving gifts to your mom and your lady. My mom is dead and my lady is....

.... and so every year I feel like the world is laughing at me.

Just find SOMETHING that makes you happy

 

[dearwinter219]

We're "officially" split.... which means anything is possible but I doubt we'll reconcile.

And Sam, the thing is this.... I KNOW you're right. 1000% right. But I can't really make too many people understand how bad I wanted my mom tolive and how that has affected my everything. Like, you think you get it, but you can't. Not yet anyway. So with thisgirl, I know what's supposed to happen. I've done it before with different women. But they were different women. I'm supposed toshuffle the deck, cut the cards, and deal with it.... but I can't. I can't. She's me and she doesn't even have the luxury of knowingit. People quit on me so often, even to the point where I've quit on myself a few times. I don't know HOW to quit on her. She doesn't even know sheneeds me, nor does she appreciate anything I've done, but I don't know how to quit. I keep hearing my mom calling for my help at 3AM and I swearit's no different. I feel like I have to do this for her even if she hates me for it. This is killing ya boy...

 

[nawth21]

I won't even pretend I can understand what it is like to lose a parent, it will rip my world apart.


There is no shame in seeking counseling. Even if its just through your university. Every school offers counseling for their students. Hell I've beenthinking about hitting them up as I have more issues than Time magazine

Hugs my man, chin up and hopefully you'll find peace

 

[crumbs]

this christmas is $*% giving gifts but just not into it

 

[areyouin729]

maybe NT isnt the place you need to be searching for answers

you always make this "my life sucks" type posts

 

[chris steez]

Christmas isn't the same no more...its commercialized lol..everyone says its about "being with family"....people are crazier and more violentthan ever during the holidays...thanks to coorporate....THANK YOU COORPORATE FOR TURNING BABY JESUS INTO A DOLLAR SIGN....smh

 

[made in korea23]

man i kind of know how you are feeling right now. my gf decided to break up with me last week and this was going to be the first time i would be spending xmaswith a gf and honestly i was so sad and dissapointed, especially seeing other couples and all the christmasy things around me but we worked things out againand things are getting better and i hope the same goes for you. im sure things will get better, maybe your gf will appreciate you more if you aren't thereand things will turn around for the better.

 

[D Fly]

Yeah it can be tough man. I lost my dad recently and this will be my first x-mas without him...it broke my heart.


It's tough..but like others have said, try to keep your head up and spread that love to those who deserve it.

 

[dearwinter219]

I do not make "my life sucks" posts. I just tend to be serious when people least expect it. And maybe NT isn't the best place tofind the answers I need, but where else do you suggest I fish? Name another pond with so many different types of entities swimming in it's waters. I'mjust casting my bate, hoping somebody can relate and teach me what I need to know. I don't subscribe to psychiatry mainly because I buck authority bynature. I'm not the type to think a random Harvard snob with a library full of books filled with 6 syllable words is any wiser than you or me. I'drather take counsel from a random 20something who's experienced what I'm going through instead of thatsnob that read about it. And so I continue to fish...

 

[tootthatthang]

Man I can't lie as of 15 min ago my life was great but then my world turned up side down. I called it off with my mother to be girlfriend and I'm justat a low point too brah... I mean I love her to death and of course more than ever I want to be there for her but she just doesn't appreciate anything andshe's always so damn negative. Man I can't even get into the details but christams this year is def unappreciated smh

 

[dearwinter219]

I may have a bite

^What's the beef about man? Ya'll got a lot on the line to be picking this time of year to call it off fammo.

 

[taquitolover91]

Originally Posted by DearWinter219

Honestly, I feel like life took a dump on me, and Christmas is always a reminder. This is a holiday for giving gifts to your mom and your lady. My mom is dead and my lady is....

.... and so every year I feel like the world is laughing at me.

damn.. sorry to hear that man. but as for the lady... why not upgrade?

 

[rocsole]

Damn, christmas is in two days. this sucks.
I hate christmas now.
But not christmas break

 

[dearwinter219]

It's not that easy to accept someones strengths AND their weaknesses, then turn around and see another girl as an upgrade. I'm past that point.I've had some pretty fly females on my team before, but I've been done looking for the "perfect" girl for a while now. I've had what someof you would consider "better" but it doesn't make me happier. "Upgrading" my lady would be synonymous w/ trading in my family for aricher one. Rich, or poor, or anything in between-- THIS is MY family. You can't upgrade stuff like that. You have to maximize its potential. Save yourstonefaces for the children posting about their Christmas lists. This is a grown up discussion.

 

[selrahc123]

Lol you remind me of myself man. Get over it life sucks, that's what people tell me.

 

[battousai701]

get a blog

 

[tootthatthang]

Man let's just say it had ended awhile back all bad but here comes the baby try to be a good guy and stick around but nothing changed she's still thesame ol chick with the same problems but like always she will come back with the tears and sympathy story and ill give in smh

 

[dearwinter219]

^And the worst part is that you not only know this will happen, but you know you'll forgive her because "That's just the way she is" andyou've accepted that.... am I right? I know I am. YET and STILL, in her eyes, you're the one that's tripping

... right.

Aye I have a question for anybody who wants to field it... am I lame or whatever for posting this stuff? I must be. Because I always attract lames to mythread. They post "Get a Blog" as if they would have had something else to do today had I not inspired them to post in this thread in the firstplace. To the "Get a Blog" guy, you're welcome. If I'd have gotten a blog, what would you be doing right now? You owe me.

 

[withapassion]

my attitude is $+*+ it but HEY on the brighter side its almost over. it will all end soon from what ever way you look at it.

 

[dearwinter219]

cuz mother #@@#$## love it?