Confessions

[mynameismyname]

The whole idea of dying and being dead really makes it hard for me to live sometimes. I usually think about dying at least once a day and when I do it always brings me down and puts me into a mood where I don't want to do anything. It sucks cause as a kid I was really happy and as the older I got I realized whats bound to happen and can't seem to deal with it. 

Hopefully one day I will come to terms with these feelings

 

[Remy LeBeau]

The whole idea of dying and being dead really makes it hard for me to live sometimes. I usually think about dying at least once a day and when I do it always brings me down and puts me into a mood where I don't want to do anything. It sucks cause as a kid I was really happy and as the older I got I realized whats bound to happen and can't seem to deal with it. 

Hopefully one day I will come to terms with these feelings

Every minute you're dying bro and you're wasting minutes you have left thinking about it. Don't mean to scare you but find something in life you care about to occupy your time.

 

[zapatohead408]

For you fellas and the one ex you can't shake, why not test the waters? Question, not a suggestion.

You mean by dating other chicks? I wouldn't mind if a chick came around and changed my point of view. That's how I'll know it's worth the investment. Otherwise, I'm not letting anybody get in my way of success and being able to take care of my family.

 

[zapatohead408]

The whole idea of dying and being dead really makes it hard for me to live sometimes. I usually think about dying at least once a day and when I do it always brings me down and puts me into a mood where I don't want to do anything. It sucks cause as a kid I was really happy and as the older I got I realized whats bound to happen and can't seem to deal with it. 

Hopefully one day I will come to terms with these feelings

Every minute you're dying bro and you're wasting minutes you have left thinking about it. Don't mean to scare you but find something in life you care about to occupy your time.

Truthfully, I used to be terrified of dying. Nowadays, I sometimes think it wouldn't be too bad. I'm in no way suicidal or anything. NEVER would I kill myself, but I wouldn't hesitate to jump in front of a bullet for someone I love.

I've learned life is better when you don't fear death. We all gotta go sometime, I'm going out with my boots on.

 

[Retto]

So many quotable posts over the last few pages..felt like y'all were reading my mind on some of these.

I'm guilty of overthinking death too (crosses my mind every day)...kinda scared of it, most likely cause time flies...freshly 24 tho, && this is the age where I will finally emphasize talking life one day at a time.

Thread's been bumpin tho...

 

[301216baller]

im still waitin on those tim shepherd stories

 

[Retto]

im still waitin on those tim shepherd stories

Me too breh I'm more than ready for the lulz.

 

[bendover]

For you fellas and the one ex you can't shake, why not test the waters? Question, not a suggestion.

Mine was the first on and off relationship I ever had. I got used to it. I usually cut them off completely but she kept coming back. I loved her passion to try to get me back but truth be told, her attitude and mine just did not mesh well. It hasn't been too long so maybe that's why I still haven't been able to shake it off

 

[mr j 858]

Yo have any of you NT'ers been involved in a long distance relationship ?

I'm in one right now.. but what makes it harder for me is the girl is in another country.

We chat daily on facebook and facetime when we can.

I hooked up with her while I was on vacation 2 months ago. We hit it off and yes she is wifey material. I'm going back later this year to spend more time with her and if things work out we might get engaged.

 

[gethigh420]

Yo have any of you NT'ers been involved in a long distance relationship ?

I'm in one right now.. but what makes it harder for me is the girl is in another country.

We chat daily on facebook and facetime when we can.

I hooked up with her while I was on vacation 2 months ago. We hit it off and yes she is wifey material. I'm going back later this year to spend more time with her and if things work out we might get engaged.

You ready to marry a chick you met on vacation 2 months ago and smashed only once?

 

[zapatohead408]

I'm turning 19 in a little less than 2 hours, and I hate it. Feel like a damn failure and I wish I could move forward in life. At 15 my dad was doing more than I've done. At 18 my old man had moved away from his homeland and his family. He moved to San Jose and found work at a painting company ran by Tony Silva. My old man WALKED to the shop and asked for a job with the little English he knew. Silva asked him whayt he knew and he answered "Nothing, but I would love to learn." Within the year he got promoted to a foreman. Silva helped him get a truck, and an apartment.

My old man was living on his own and later on married my mother and had two kids. He did ALL of this on his own. I often wonder how it is that he does it. Very Rarely does someone or most people like their boss. Everybody loves my dad. IT just comes natural to him.

Myself, I'll be 19. That's a little over a year from when I graduated and I have nothing to show for it. It's a damn embarrassment to even have people wanting to celebrate my birthday. I'm more poor now than I was last year. Still not in the trades, still not able to provide for my family.

When I was a freshman in high school I used to want to be older, be one of those 19-21 year old NTers that was so cool (just one of the many things I wanted to do.) Now, I don't want to be this age. Often wonder what the meaning in life is. Should I do right or should I do wrong? Sometimes I just want to do my own thing. When I was in the 5th ish grade my uncle built a badass bike. The Hells angels found out about it and came by to check it out. They were the coolest guys ever. Ever since then I had wanted to join. Often still think about it.

I was a loser in high school, didn't go to college, got cut from JV soccer for a reason I never knew. I had played at a level higher than the Varsity team for a lot of my life. I wish I could still play like I used to. At one point around middle school, if you gave me a ball, I was happy. I was able to forget about everything around me and just play. No better feeling than getting off that perfect pass that turns into an assist.

I cry every year that the Niners don't win a Super Bowl.


The chick I really like (closest thing I've ever felt towards what I think is love) posted a picture with her boyfriend saying they've been together for 1 year, eleven months. She was talking to me a year ago and before that. Idk whether to hate her or still feel the same for her. Will I take her back if I ever get the chance to?

I know, I know. I posted a lot of meaningless ****. I will someday be successful and wealthy, that's the bottom line. Right now It's a thin line between being successful or just being another person working a retail job until I'm old (one of my greatest fears." Everybody in my family and people around me doubts me or that I can do it. I enjoy this, I like them thinking like this, it gives me power. I just don't want to say any of this to anybody because it will show weakness and I can't do this.

 

[soundview]

 

Yo have any of you NT'ers been involved in a long distance relationship ?

I'm in one right now.. but what makes it harder for me is the girl is in another country.

We chat daily on facebook and facetime when we can.

I hooked up with her while I was on vacation 2 months ago. We hit it off and yes she is wifey material. I'm going back later this year to spend more time with her and if things work out we might get engaged.

You ready to marry a chick you met on vacation 2 months ago and smashed only once?

LMAO

 

[$tatus $ymbol]

I'm turning 19 in a little less than 2 hours, and I hate it. Feel like a damn failure and I wish I could move forward in life. At 15 my dad was doing more than I've done. At 18 my old man had moved away from his homeland and his family. He moved to San Jose and found work at a painting company ran by Tony Silva. My old man WALKED to the shop and asked for a job with the little English he knew. Silva asked him whayt he knew and he answered "Nothing, but I would love to learn." Within the year he got promoted to a foreman. Silva helped him get a truck, and an apartment.

My old man was living on his own and later on married my mother and had two kids. He did ALL of this on his own. I often wonder how it is that he does it. Very Rarely does someone or most people like their boss. Everybody loves my dad. IT just comes natural to him.

Myself, I'll be 19. That's a little over a year from when I graduated and I have nothing to show for it. It's a damn embarrassment to even have people wanting to celebrate my birthday. I'm more poor now than I was last year. Still not in the trades, still not able to provide for my family.

When I was a freshman in high school I used to want to be older, be one of those 19-21 year old NTers that was so cool (just one of the many things I wanted to do.) Now, I don't want to be this age. Often wonder what the meaning in life is. Should I do right or should I do wrong? Sometimes I just want to do my own thing. When I was in the 5th ish grade my uncle built a badass bike. The Hells angels found out about it and came by to check it out. They were the coolest guys ever. Ever since then I had wanted to join. Often still think about it.

I was a loser in high school, didn't go to college, got cut from JV soccer for a reason I never knew. I had played at a level higher than the Varsity team for a lot of my life. I wish I could still play like I used to. At one point around middle school, if you gave me a ball, I was happy. I was able to forget about everything around me and just play. No better feeling than getting off that perfect pass that turns into an assist.

I cry every year that the Niners don't win a Super Bowl.


The chick I really like (closest thing I've ever felt towards what I think is love) posted a picture with her boyfriend saying they've been together for 1 year, eleven months. She was talking to me a year ago and before that. Idk whether to hate her or still feel the same for her. Will I take her back if I ever get the chance to?

I know, I know. I posted a lot of meaningless ****. I will someday be successful and wealthy, that's the bottom line. Right now It's a thin line between being successful or just being another person working a retail job until I'm old (one of my greatest fears." Everybody in my family and people around me doubts me or that I can do it. I enjoy this, I like them thinking like this, it gives me power. I just don't want to say any of this to anybody because it will show weakness and I can't do this.

Bruh you are 19 years old. **** You comparing your life accomplishments to the next mans is going to get you NO WHERE. So what if you don't do what your pops did, so what if you don't live up to anyone else's expectations. You have your own life to live and your own destiny to fulfill. Learn to be comfortable with who YOU are & stop measuring your story up to the next mans. If you live right you'll literally do so much **** within the next few years that you'd look back at that post, laugh and say wtf was I thinking. As far as your aspirations, nothing to it but to do it. The only one holding you back is yourself.

 

[c money 88 05]

Random confession time:
-I value others WAYYYYY more than myself because it makes me work harder to keep up my worth.
-I fall in love easily
-I haven't been satisfied with things in a couple of years, probably had a lot I should've appreciated but somehow didn't...and it sucks thinking about it
-I've thrown more assists to random guys on great females that I probably should've had & didn't know how to close the door
-I fall in love easily...but I fear relationships because I feel like I'll fail in then because I value them WAYYYYYYY more than myself(putting them on the HIGHEST pedestal smh) but part of me wants to just have them on that pedestal to admire & adore.
-Everything I work for now is to prepare myself to be a "more complete man" so my wife & children will be set, that's my driving force but I'm nowhere near that level lol.
-My ex probably wasn't the one for me & I think she knows it too...but I'm so stuck on her I can't accept it myself 100% even as I talk to other females
-I can't stand my living situation, mom lives with me(I said that right) & she's all kinda of messing up, like a roommate I wish I never had at times. But I can't really say a damn thing to her since that's my mom.
-Every day I think about just quitting my job, I'm good at it & make ok money, it's just not what I want for myself & I feel like the hours I spend there aren't worth my effort sometimes...but I don't take that next step completely to move on.
-I have a problem cutting things off.
-I'm trying to change all of this by putting it out in the open & having accountability for it, I'm looking for all the help I can get.
-The last couple weeks I've been on time to work...BEST...FEELING...EVER...and that's pretty damn sad I've been so late all my life I feel pride in these last couple weeks lol.

That's it for now, gotta go to work

 

[hennessy]

Yo have any of you NT'ers been involved in a long distance relationship ?

I'm in one right now.. but what makes it harder for me is the girl is in another country.

We chat daily on facebook and facetime when we can.

I hooked up with her while I was on vacation 2 months ago. We hit it off and yes she is wifey material. I'm going back later this year to spend more time with her and if things work out we might get engaged.

I wanna help you but I think you're too far gone. With that said, how old are you and how old is she? Need more info here.

I was in a long distance relationship with a girl in another country for over a year. Never thought I'd do the long distance relationship again but I'm in one again now (4-6 hours away).

Any questions ask away.

 

[mangudai954]

Bruh you are 19 years old. **** You comparing your life accomplishments to the next mans is going to get you NO WHERE. So what if you don't do what your pops did, so what if you don't live up to anyone else's expectations. You have your own life to live and your own destiny to fulfill. Learn to be comfortable with who YOU are & stop measuring your story up to the next mans. If you live right you'll literally do so much **** within the next few years that you'd look back at that post, laugh and say wtf was I thinking. As far as your aspirations, nothing to it but to do it. The only one holding you back is yourself.

I was literally thinking the same things

You're 19! lmao your life is just now starting.

 

[teamjordan79]

"dudes is 22 tombout they retiring"

 

[zapatohead408]

**** it man, you dudes are right, I'll get where I want to be eventually.

 

[Remy LeBeau]

The whole idea of dying and being dead really makes it hard for me to live sometimes. I usually think about dying at least once a day and when I do it always brings me down and puts me into a mood where I don't want to do anything. It sucks cause as a kid I was really happy and as the older I got I realized whats bound to happen and can't seem to deal with it. 

Hopefully one day I will come to terms with these feelings

Every minute you're dying bro and you're wasting minutes you have left thinking about it. Don't mean to scare you but find something in life you care about to occupy your time.

Truthfully, I used to be terrified of dying. Nowadays, I sometimes think it wouldn't be too bad. I'm in no way suicidal or anything. NEVER would I kill myself, but I wouldn't hesitate to jump in front of a bullet for someone I love.

I've learned life is better when you don't fear death. We all gotta go sometime, I'm going out with my boots on.

To be honest, I have an infatuation with death. This is probably due to the fact I've never experienced it and use to have suicidal thoughts but now I'm just interested in death. I don't think about it everyday and I enjoy life but my curiosity runs deep. Death is nothing to be scared of tho, it's how I might die is what I'm worried about

 

[rhythm808]

 
The whole idea of dying and being dead really makes it hard for me to live sometimes. I usually think about dying at least once a day and when I do it always brings me down and puts me into a mood where I don't want to do anything. It sucks cause as a kid I was really happy and as the older I got I realized whats bound to happen and can't seem to deal with it. 

Hopefully one day I will come to terms with these feelings

I wouldn't think about it as often as you do but it is something that used to bother me....what got me over it was just realizing that death is something that not only every human being will face, but something that every single living thing will experience....to me it just seems ridiculous to have an extreme fear over something that literally every single living thing will experience....if the billions of creatures that died before me were able to face death....I'll be able to too.
 

 

[mynameismyname]

 
I wouldn't think about it as often as you do but it is something that used to bother me....what got me over it was just realizing that death is something that not only every human being will face, but something that every single living thing will experience....to me it just seems ridiculous to have an extreme fear over something that literally every single living thing will experience....if the billions of creatures that died before me were able to face death....I'll be able to too.
 

Word, I guess I'm more so uncomfortable with not knowing what happens next. Like not being prepared for death and just not being able to talk to that little voice in my head and move around in my body is was really terrifies me. 

But like you and others stated its something that inevitable, I guess the older I get the more accepting I will be towards it. 

 

[ROYGBiV]

After learning things I didn't know about my EX 

 *Someone Post That Pastor Vid*

**** makes me sick. Like this was wifey. Had started setting cash aside for a ring man, a damn ring. (For future purposes)

My friends are really stepping in, even the ones I previously had little Bromance's with.

Friends> 

 

[currensy]

Isn't that how it's supposed to be? Lol tf

Nah not at all mayne. I do it almost sub-consciously now, like it's a habit I need to break lol.

Have a ton of these and due to my somewhat solitary lifestyle, so they tend to stick with me forever and not actually confessed to anyone lol. Will try and off-load these here in pieces.

1. People are closer to me than I am to them. Have a number of people who would hit me for advice/help but actually know almost nothing pertaining to what's going on with me or what I may be going through. To their credit though, I keep things within so I never volunteer any information or whatever.

2. I'm approaching the point in my life where I feel like certain things are just not really in these deck of cards for me. (Marriage, kids, etc.) But I love kids, and the idea of having someone by your side through this lfie.

3. Had a little situation where I needed someone, anyone (not named Mom, Dad, Sis,) to help scoop me. Wasn't able to get anyone, and even when thinking about who to call after the first call made I was actually stumped. Opened my eyes to how alone I truly am.

4. A few dudes like to call me to go out with them (usually I'm the preferred wingman), but it's weird to me because I don't really have great luck with women. And the bars, lounges, day parties aren't really my scene. I'm just not the type of guy most of those girls (or any girl really) is looking for

5. Weird feeling of slightly thinking women like to look at me, but aren't ever really into me. I always think women are trying to fulfill something or cross out something from their bucket list when dealing with me lol.

6. Most girls I find attractive, I just can't tolerate being around/communicating with them too long. All the reality show BS, attending strip clubs, day parties, etc I just don't have a desire for nor can keep up. So I already know I'm too "boring" for them.

7. Only had 2 GF's in my life. Dealt with countless others. With any girl I spend a considerable amount of time with, her and I both know and witness the growth of the female. It's almost like I make them that much doper for the next guy lol. But for whatever reason, it makes me happy regardless. Saw a pic of my last ex and her new BF and my heart just melted with how happy I was for her and him. Only want to see them last forever. Both did try and get back at a point, but I couldn't do it. Never really end things with girls on a sour note...

8. Pretty much at the point now where I've kind of given up on finding that true companionship (male or female) that has years invested into that foundation. Don't even desire it much anymore and am getting closer to complacency everyday in regards to the lack of those types of relationships. I still consider that a 1st world problem and I'm not starving so really no room for me to complain.

9. Bit of a continuance of 8, but currently I'm finding myself rejecting thoughts, ideas, and pursuits in an attempt not to interfere with anyone's happiness, pursuit of, or potential finding of it. All my focus is going into impacting society positively in a major way. To get my fix of the other stuff, I'll probably live vicariously through others.

Ex: Met a pretty greek/swedish cocktail waitress at a bar I was watching the game at by myself. Her and her friends sat with me and I chopped it up with the dudes. She gave me her card and said it had her cell on there. And to also hit her up if I ever wanted to visit their club. But, it's not even worth the pushing of buttons lol. They were so happy and jubilant at the bar and instead of potentially being a deterrent, I'm happy with just being a memory they have of that time for however long the memory lasts.

10. With all the confessions I listed, I still feel guilty the moment I ever feel like I've experienced even the tiniest sad/down emotion due to my "issues" because I know ppl have and have had it much worse than I in regards to poverty, death, sickness, oppression, etc so I try to keep it in perspective.

Sorry for the long post and all the girl related confessions lol. Thanks!

Bruh # 8 & 9. We'll be ight famb.

 

[shake]

Yo have any of you NT'ers been involved in a long distance relationship ?

I'm in one right now.. but what makes it harder for me is the girl is in another country.

We chat daily on facebook and facetime when we can.

I hooked up with her while I was on vacation 2 months ago. We hit it off and yes she is wifey material. I'm going back later this year to spend more time with her and if things work out we might get engaged.

You better get some more quality time spent together before talking about marriage. Long distance relationships aren't always the same once the long distance is taken out of the situation, I know from personal experience. Going from seeing that person hardly at all, but enjoying and cherishing the times you do see eachother is cool. Once you get cupcaked up and have to deal with your girl's ***** everyday you may not be feeling the same about marriage.

 

[bendover]

After learning things I didn't know about my EX :x  *Someone Post That Pastor Vid*
**** makes me sick. Like this was wifey. Had started setting cash aside for a ring man, a damn ring. (For future purposes)


My friends are really stepping in, even the ones I previously had little Bromance's with.



Friends> 

My pops always said "you don't know a chick till it's over. That's when I personally realized the crazy shhh my ex liked to do. Parties, talking to dudes, hood rat things with her friends. [emoji]128530[/emoji] crazy to think I worked so hard to talk to her too, didn't think she was that type.