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Have a ton of these and due to my somewhat solitary lifestyle, so they tend to stick with me forever and not actually confessed to anyone lol. Will try and off-load these here in pieces.
1. People are closer to me than I am to them. Have a number of people who would hit me for advice/help but actually know almost nothing pertaining to what's going on with me or what I may be going through. To their credit though, I keep things within so I never volunteer any information or whatever.
2. I'm approaching the point in my life where I feel like certain things are just not really in these deck of cards for me. (Marriage, kids, etc.) But I love kids, and the idea of having someone by your side through this lfie.
3. Had a little situation where I needed someone, anyone (not named Mom, Dad, Sis,) to help scoop me. Wasn't able to get anyone, and even when thinking about who to call after the first call made I was actually stumped. Opened my eyes to how alone I truly am.
4. A few dudes like to call me to go out with them (usually I'm the preferred wingman), but it's weird to me because I don't really have great luck with women. And the bars, lounges, day parties aren't really my scene. I'm just not the type of guy most of those girls (or any girl really) is looking for
5. Weird feeling of slightly thinking women like to look at me, but aren't ever really into me. I always think women are trying to fulfill something or cross out something from their bucket list when dealing with me lol.
6. Most girls I find attractive, I just can't tolerate being around/communicating with them too long. All the reality show BS, attending strip clubs, day parties, etc I just don't have a desire for nor can keep up. So I already know I'm too "boring" for them.
7. Only had 2 GF's in my life. Dealt with countless others. With any girl I spend a considerable amount of time with, her and I both know and witness the growth of the female. It's almost like I make them that much doper for the next guy lol. But for whatever reason, it makes me happy regardless. Saw a pic of my last ex and her new BF and my heart just melted with how happy I was for her and him. Only want to see them last forever. Both did try and get back at a point, but I couldn't do it. Never really end things with girls on a sour note...
8. Pretty much at the point now where I've kind of given up on finding that true companionship (male or female) that has years invested into that foundation. Don't even desire it much anymore and am getting closer to complacency everyday in regards to the lack of those types of relationships. I still consider that a 1st world problem and I'm not starving so really no room for me to complain.
9. Bit of a continuance of 8, but currently I'm finding myself rejecting thoughts, ideas, and pursuits in an attempt not to interfere with anyone's happiness, pursuit of, or potential finding of it. All my focus is going into impacting society positively in a major way. To get my fix of the other stuff, I'll probably live vicariously through others.
Ex: Met a pretty greek/swedish cocktail waitress at a bar I was watching the game at by myself. Her and her friends sat with me and I chopped it up with the dudes. She gave me her card and said it had her cell on there. And to also hit her up if I ever wanted to visit their club. But, it's not even worth the pushing of buttons lol. They were so happy and jubilant at the bar and instead of potentially being a deterrent, I'm happy with just being a memory they have of that time for however long the memory lasts.
10. With all the confessions I listed, I still feel guilty the moment I ever feel like I've experienced even the tiniest sad/down emotion due to my "issues" because I know ppl have and have had it much worse than I in regards to poverty, death, sickness, oppression, etc so I try to keep it in perspective.
Sorry for the long post and all the girl related confessions lol. Thanks!
1. People are closer to me than I am to them. Have a number of people who would hit me for advice/help but actually know almost nothing pertaining to what's going on with me or what I may be going through. To their credit though, I keep things within so I never volunteer any information or whatever.
2. I'm approaching the point in my life where I feel like certain things are just not really in these deck of cards for me. (Marriage, kids, etc.) But I love kids, and the idea of having someone by your side through this lfie.
3. Had a little situation where I needed someone, anyone (not named Mom, Dad, Sis,) to help scoop me. Wasn't able to get anyone, and even when thinking about who to call after the first call made I was actually stumped. Opened my eyes to how alone I truly am.
4. A few dudes like to call me to go out with them (usually I'm the preferred wingman), but it's weird to me because I don't really have great luck with women. And the bars, lounges, day parties aren't really my scene. I'm just not the type of guy most of those girls (or any girl really) is looking for
5. Weird feeling of slightly thinking women like to look at me, but aren't ever really into me. I always think women are trying to fulfill something or cross out something from their bucket list when dealing with me lol.
6. Most girls I find attractive, I just can't tolerate being around/communicating with them too long. All the reality show BS, attending strip clubs, day parties, etc I just don't have a desire for nor can keep up. So I already know I'm too "boring" for them.
7. Only had 2 GF's in my life. Dealt with countless others. With any girl I spend a considerable amount of time with, her and I both know and witness the growth of the female. It's almost like I make them that much doper for the next guy lol. But for whatever reason, it makes me happy regardless. Saw a pic of my last ex and her new BF and my heart just melted with how happy I was for her and him. Only want to see them last forever. Both did try and get back at a point, but I couldn't do it. Never really end things with girls on a sour note...
8. Pretty much at the point now where I've kind of given up on finding that true companionship (male or female) that has years invested into that foundation. Don't even desire it much anymore and am getting closer to complacency everyday in regards to the lack of those types of relationships. I still consider that a 1st world problem and I'm not starving so really no room for me to complain.
9. Bit of a continuance of 8, but currently I'm finding myself rejecting thoughts, ideas, and pursuits in an attempt not to interfere with anyone's happiness, pursuit of, or potential finding of it. All my focus is going into impacting society positively in a major way. To get my fix of the other stuff, I'll probably live vicariously through others.
Ex: Met a pretty greek/swedish cocktail waitress at a bar I was watching the game at by myself. Her and her friends sat with me and I chopped it up with the dudes. She gave me her card and said it had her cell on there. And to also hit her up if I ever wanted to visit their club. But, it's not even worth the pushing of buttons lol. They were so happy and jubilant at the bar and instead of potentially being a deterrent, I'm happy with just being a memory they have of that time for however long the memory lasts.
10. With all the confessions I listed, I still feel guilty the moment I ever feel like I've experienced even the tiniest sad/down emotion due to my "issues" because I know ppl have and have had it much worse than I in regards to poverty, death, sickness, oppression, etc so I try to keep it in perspective.
Sorry for the long post and all the girl related confessions lol. Thanks!
