Confessions

[krazy]

How old is your lil bro? That sucks.

Things seem to be looking up for you man keep it up.

He's 24. For the 3 years I was back home, I have really never seen any positive progress come out of him. I tried so many times to help set him straight. Not gonna lie, part of the reason I moved is cuz I don't wanna deal with him anymore.

And thanks bro, at this point it's all or nothing for me when it comes to my goals. I have a huge support system that I cannot take for granted also.

@gamble I wish you a well on your journey with whatever you are dealing with, never let your head down and remember the bs is temporary. I've never experienced anything like that, but thank you for sharing.

 

[unknown18]

Been gone for a while but decided to post another...

My memory is ****, and it's bad. Ever since I got back from my last deployment I can't chronologize anything in my life.  I'm finally getting help for ptsd but i'm not sure it'll help. When ever my fiance asks about my past, there are things I remember, but i can't remember when. I usually give "12" as a default age for most things when talking.

It's a frustrating thing, as an example, I can tell you different stories from high school, but I have no idea what year of school they happened.  It's caused arguments, big ones, because my fiance will think I've lied about something old (like when we first got together), well, truth is, if it's time line related I probably did because I can't put the puzzle together. With how my childhood was, and then after my first deployment, I just started compartmentalizing pain, then it just got out of control to the point where I just can't recall anything, good or bad.  Went to a physchologist and we had a discussion about things in my journal (I often write nightmares and memories down). That night I slept maybe 45 minutes when I usually get 3-4 hours. Nightmares ****** me up, now i'm not sure whats worse.

I thought boxing **** up was best but now I feel like Sandler in click, it's like my brain is on cruise control just boxing memories up without me consciously thinking about it.

I dont know yall, maybe I just needed to vent.

 

[andretti]

Vent all you need to bro.

 

[wavy daddy]

unknown18

I feel you on the memory lost thing.

I csnt recall certain things from before the age of 9.

My girl didnt understand at first, and its caused huge arguments, but its when a certain thing happened in my life that i dont talk about wit anyone. I barley even remember that specific year.

And even after that year its just hazy.

My girl gets kind of upset that i dont remember things my family loves talkin about, but I cant help it, i just DONT remember.

Ive seen so much struggle and pain, even death amd suicide in front of me.

Cops beating down friends while im hamdcuffed, so in a 'sense' you can say im traumatized, depressed, stressed, and have anxiety.

But i take it day by day and try to check my mental before i act on feelings.

 

[23kidd]

u can tell us what happened papi

 

[andretti]

Man I got some heavy **** that just dropped on my plate . Anyone willing to lend an ear and word in a pm?

 

[T Lo Sweater]

Man I got some heavy **** that just dropped on my plate . Anyone willing to lend an ear and word in a pm?

Send that. I'll share too

 

[aychd]

Early 20's. At a point where I'm over partying drinking smashin and really wanna save every piece of money and save up for a place of my own. Is that weird in a way? Idk I know I'm young still but the whole going out getting lit hookin up with a shorty and then waking up the next morning with $100-$200 less... for what lol. 

I wanna put all that ish to the side and focus on saving and moving out like a boss. 

 

[atlsfinest]

Early 20's. At a point where I'm over partying drinking smashin and really wanna save every piece of money and save up for a place of my own. Is that weird in a way? Idk I know I'm young still but the whole going out getting lit hookin up with a shorty and then waking up the next morning with $100-$200 less... for what lol. 

I wanna put all that ish to the side and focus on saving and moving out like a boss. 

Media/society perpetuates this idea that people your age should constantly be going out and getting drunk and hooking up, etc. It's so prevalent that when you're not doing that or you don't even want to do that you think there's nothing wrong with you. I remember when I was in college I there was a period of a semester or so I just wanted to do me (chill, play videogames, study, low key weekends, etc.) and I legit thought "am I broken? WTF is up w/ me?"

 

[aychd]

 

[wavy daddy]

Man I got some heavy **** that just dropped on my plate . Anyone willing to lend an ear and word in a pm?

Just seem this, holla.

 

[ogmcmxcii]

Early 20's. At a point where I'm over partying drinking smashin and really wanna save every piece of money and save up for a place of my own. Is that weird in a way? Idk I know I'm young still but the whole going out getting lit hookin up with a shorty and then waking up the next morning with $100-$200 less... for what lol. 

I wanna put all that ish to the side and focus on saving and moving out like a boss. 

I have yet to enjoy that life yet and I'm 24.

At this point I don't even care about females, sex or relationships anymore and other distractions that I chased and put before my own self.

Rather work on me and get straight financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually and lastly mentally. Money gets spent on kicks instead of liquor and ****.

 

[T Lo Sweater]

Man i hate this job so much

 

[Pedro Navaja]

Man i hate this job so much

speak up bro

 

[T Lo Sweater]

I'll try to make it short as possible

My boy put me on this job early April. Project management. Cool spot. About be months in a get clients from the guy who trained me,plus this girl who was moved to a different department

Its been a **** show ever since. One of her clients has 5 orders that are wayyyyyy past due. I still haven't caught up yet cause i think they steal some items. It's always less than our count

This old guy is tryna set me up or something. He doesn't tell me things right away and by the time he does tell me it's really late during production for a lot of stuff. A client called the ceo and cursed him out and then she cursed me out

I get emails from the old guys clients (he brought in to this company) and trash cans that were made here are damaged somehow. Then emails about the wrong finish for these lids. Other emails about signs malfunctioning. And these things aren't even my fault. I cover myself and have all the info to save my *** in my email but its Either

1. I wasnt working here when these things were made
2. I was working here but wasn't involved yet
3. I'm following directions I've been given yet somehow something goes wrong

I've been told plenty of times by several people not to worry since it isn't my fault. But cmon. Literally everyday theres a new issue

Im just worried cause that old guy doesn't have a computer like the rest of us and hes a master of saying "I never said that". He swears hes right but hes always wrong and makes it seem like things are my fault. Straight up lying to my face 2 weeks ago because he forgot something, yet it was on his desk the whole time

He constantly leaves out information that would be very helpful in the beginning of production then down the road he brings it up and it just boggles my mind as to why he cant say anything sooner. I'm quiet cause they would prolly take his word over mine since he has 30+ years experience in the industry

Don't get me wrong tho, I'm a man and will admit to any mistakes I make. I did make 1 mistake but my supervisor was really cool and said not to worry. I got it fixed and the client was super happy and grateful.

And i dont Want to be the reason why a client leaves cause id get fired.

Besides that there's the money issue. I'm underpaid. I'm not an assistant anymore. I have my own clients but im still not salary. You would think so because im still in my 6 month probation period. But my boy been here for almost a year and still no salary and he even spoke to them about it. They said we not giving you a raise and we don't know when itll happen.

Keep in mind he gets paid less than me for some reason and we both have degrees and our own clients here

I'm looking for a new job and Friday I have an interview (plus it's something in my field)

 

[slighted]

^ Start applying/interviewing for new jobs. Use the "family emergency/doctor/dentist" excuses.

Company sounds very shady.

 

[T Lo Sweater]

^ Start applying/interviewing for new jobs. Use the "family emergency/doctor/dentist" excuses.

Company sounds very shady.

Most def man. Been on indeed every day too looking for new stuff

It just boggles my mind as to when I'd actually get my raise too. Considering there are people who've been here since the beginning and only got a raise after their 10th year here

That's messed up and im tryna pay sallie mae off too

 

[andretti]

Man look for another gig Troy

That's a very toxic environment to be in. Don't quit that job till you find another,let them handle that **** show.

 

[suberzat1]

Yo T Lo Sweater I just sent up a prayer for you dude. I'm in the same boat as you so I feel your pain.

 

[frshstunna]

[thread="502478"]I hear people my age talking about I'm broke or the minute they get their paycheck its gone for some shoes or clothes or partying. I just wonder wtf are you going to do when you're 28 or when mom and dad ain't their anymore then what. You going to wish you never spent that paycheck. I'm just really at a point where in a couple of years I want my bank account looking how it should be and I have my own crib. I'll sacrifice the nights going out I could give a ish about that right now. It ain't worth it for me. This summer all I did was party and for what!? Lmaoo glad I feel this way now and not when I'm 29.[/thread]

The real problem is ppl forget you can still have fun and be smart with your money ...it's 30 year olds out here gettin $$ n makin moves , but still out here living it up

I don't let age dictate what I'm supposed to be doing , just enjoy yourself and be responsible ...that's part of growing

 

[suberzat1]

^ Start applying/interviewing for new jobs. Use the "family emergency/doctor/dentist" excuses.

Company sounds very shady.

Most def man. Been on indeed every day too looking for new stuff

It just boggles my mind as to when I'd actually get my raise too. Considering there are people who've been here since the beginning and only got a raise after their 10th year here

That's messed up and im tryna pay sallie mae off too

Sounds just like my company. They told this one dude once he shows them he knows data mining they will give him a raise. Dude still making a same amount and it's been 6 months.

Plus showing the new guy tricks even tho he has a degree in DM

 

[T Lo Sweater]

Man look for another gig Troy

That's a very toxic environment to be in. Don't quit that job till you find another,let them handle that **** show.

Yo T Lo Sweater I just sent up a prayer for you dude. I'm in the same boat as you so I feel your pain.

Thanks fam hope i can raise up outta here quick! Let's hope both of us can move on to bigger and better

Sounds just like my company. They told this one dude once he shows them he knows data mining they will give him a raise. Dude still making a same amount and it's been 6 months.

Plus showing the new guy tricks even tho he has a degree in DM

Not cool. He's gonna end up overworked and under paid

 

[andretti]

Ima holla at you troyd.

For the folks that hit me up yesterday I'd like to say thanks for reaching out . Wish nothing but the best for you all.

 

[T Lo Sweater]

Ima holla at you troyd.

For the folks that hit me up yesterday I'd like to say thanks for reaching out . Wish nothing but the best for you all.

I'll be here man

 

[andretti]

Ima holla at you troyd.

For the folks that hit me up yesterday I'd like to say thanks for reaching out . Wish nothing but the best for you all.

I'll be here man

Pm sent .