Confessions

I am lost in the sauce, slightly.

Finally found 2 people I wouldn't mind dating, kinda losing interest in them....but I wanna date at the same time. :{

I got a spending problem but I ain't never really had **** I wanted growing up neither.

I get bored 2 easy.

Every job I've had I hated except one, which I didn't mind doing til I started getting paid for it b/c it made me feel obligated to get **** done. I was already getting **** done and was very reliable actually but money added a locked down feeling I didn't like.

I wanna disappear for like a year with no contact of my previous life. 8o
 
This Cubs win made me miss my grandfather. Damn. He used to watch the Cubs all the time... his favorite team. He played a big part in raising me early on. I'm glad I got to see him before his death even though I had moved to California. When my grandfather died, it was the first time I saw my father cry. Feels.

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I've have planned out my death and I'm actually at peace with my decision.
The violent nightmares have returned after a few years without them and I no longer sleep. I feel that Satan has been after my soul since a child and I'm tired.
I've ended my marriage of 15 years and cut off all communication from my family for past few months.
My co workers have noticed my mental deterioration but I do my best to hide it.
I still attended church on a regular basis because I'm praying for God's forgiveness but truly feel my time on this earth has com to an end.
People have zero understanding of what some people go through but will still judge.
My life is exactly that my life and who the **** are you to call me selfish when you don't know a damn thing about me!
 
I've have planned out my death and I'm actually at peace with my decision.
The violent nightmares have returned after a few years without them and I no longer sleep. I feel that Satan has been after my soul since a child and I'm tired.
I've ended my marriage of 15 years and cut off all communication from my family for past few months.
My co workers have noticed my mental deterioration but I do my best to hide it.
I still attended church on a regular basis because I'm praying for God's forgiveness but truly feel my time on this earth has com to an end.
People have zero understanding of what some people go through but will still judge.
My life is exactly that my life and who the **** are you to call me selfish when you don't know a damn thing about me!
Take it eaaaaasyyy. Although you are the owner to your own life, don't only think about yourself when it comes to your life. Think about others.. family, friends, and co-workers. I was there before trust me... and I bounced back. 

Trust in yourself that things will turn around. Your life matters!
 
I've have planned out my death and I'm actually at peace with my decision.
The violent nightmares have returned after a few years without them and I no longer sleep. I feel that Satan has been after my soul since a child and I'm tired.
I've ended my marriage of 15 years and cut off all communication from my family for past few months.
My co workers have noticed my mental deterioration but I do my best to hide it.
I still attended church on a regular basis because I'm praying for God's forgiveness but truly feel my time on this earth has com to an end.
People have zero understanding of what some people go through but will still judge.
My life is exactly that my life and who the **** are you to call me selfish when you don't know a damn thing about me!

Hoping you the best. Def think stuff through and take each day as a new beginning. Corny as its sounds, my pm's are always open.
 
I've have planned out my death and I'm actually at peace with my decision.
The violent nightmares have returned after a few years without them and I no longer sleep. I feel that Satan has been after my soul since a child and I'm tired.
I've ended my marriage of 15 years and cut off all communication from my family for past few months.
My co workers have noticed my mental deterioration but I do my best to hide it.
I still attended church on a regular basis because I'm praying for God's forgiveness but truly feel my time on this earth has com to an end.
People have zero understanding of what some people go through but will still judge.
My life is exactly that my life and who the **** are you to call me selfish when you don't know a damn thing about me!
I'm gonna pm you in a few.
 
Haven't been on NT much lately so the confession is technically like a week old

Anyways, went with a friend to stay with one of our friends at their school for Halloweekend. The trip was a long time coming, they'd been telling me I needed to come down for a while and we finally made it happen. Since I was visiting and didn't know the area they showed me around and I was down for whatever the group wanted to do. Ended up having a blast and went to some parties, met a bunch of new people, and the girls we were hanging with were feeling me as well (no humble brag).

The whole weekend I felt like I was really just living life in the moment with a good group of people, all but two of whom I had never met before, and it sort of made me realize that I spent most of my college years doing the opposite of that. I put way too much time into people who weren't even physically around or thinking about things that no longer matter and didn't appreciate the moment or embrace new people as much as I should have. Of course I only realize this from the other side; I graduated earlier this year. I am getting better at living in the moment (if I wasn't I wouldn't have realized any of this 
laugh.gif
)​, but it sucks knowing that you didn't make the most of something.
 
 
Haven't been on NT much lately so the confession is technically like a week old

Anyways, went with a friend to stay with one of our friends at their school for Halloweekend. The trip was a long time coming, they'd been telling me I needed to come down for a while and we finally made it happen. Since I was visiting and didn't know the area they showed me around and I was down for whatever the group wanted to do. Ended up having a blast and went to some parties, met a bunch of new people, and the girls we were hanging with were feeling me as well (no humble brag).

The whole weekend I felt like I was really just living life in the moment with a good group of people, all but two of whom I had never met before, and it sort of made me realize that I spent most of my college years doing the opposite of that. I put way too much time into people who weren't even physically around or thinking about things that no longer matter and didn't appreciate the moment or embrace new people as much as I should have. Of course I only realize this from the other side; I graduated earlier this year. I am getting better at living in the moment (if I wasn't I wouldn't have realized any of this 
laugh.gif
)​, but it sucks knowing that you didn't make the most of something.
I feel you on this, fam.

I had fun in college, but I got really serious with trying to begin my career in junior/senior year. At that point, I was super focused, trying to make moves, and generally wasn't on campus for more than 2 days out of the week (I commuted), so I never really hung with the homies/shorties as much.

Now that I'm 3 years out of school and my career is semi-established, I sometimes wonder if I took those 2 last college years too seriously. I'm glad I make decent money, have a good network, etc., but how much does that matter in the total picture?
 
Lurker since 06. 

I moved away across the country by myself in a small town for work. I have been here for about a year now and sometimes i wonder the amount of growth i have had here living in this small town.. and how i am missing out on things back home, friends getting married, family functions etc.. is it worth it to move this far away or not? and sometimes i wonder if people miss me. 

I don't know anyone in this town and spend a lot of time alone.. I just bought a guitar and i plan on playing the s*** out of it... My social life lacks here as i find people in small towns are not as open.. and once you are at a certain age it becomes harder to make new friends. I stopped smoking the herb for 6 weeks and broke my streak last week.. trying to only smoke on the weekened. I am taking it one day at a time.. No lady in my life either... trying to keep a positive mindset and telling myself good things are to come.. 
 
I feel you on this, fam.

I had fun in college, but I got really serious with trying to begin my career in junior/senior year. At that point, I was super focused, trying to make moves, and generally wasn't on campus for more than 2 days out of the week (I commuted), so I never really hung with the homies/shorties as much.

Now that I'm 3 years out of school and my career is semi-established, I sometimes wonder if I took those 2 last college years too seriously. I'm glad I make decent money, have a good network, etc., but how much does that matter in the total picture?
Your last two years sound pretty similar to mine. I commuted, spent more time studying, had internships, was in a LDR, and then messed up my knee and had to have surgery and do rehab. I'm four weeks into my job and my free time on the weekends doesn't compare to how college weekends were. I have a solid career now, but I definitely miss the comradery​ of it and being around more people my age. It was probably the most fun I'd had since the summer.

My friend I went down with said we made a good trip duo and he's already mentioned how he wants to make some more in the future to see our friends who are wrapping up their undergrads. It's something I wasn't really able to do since I didn't have my car with me my first two years and my third year when I did I went to go see my then-gf, so I didn't get the chance to visit friends as much as I would've liked to. Now that I'm free on the weekends with no homework or studying to worry about I have the chance to do that. Obviously it won't last long since they'll graduate soon and I don't want to be partying with college kids too much longer, but it's something to look forward to.
 
Lurker since 06. 

I moved away across the country by myself in a small town for work. I have been here for about a year now and sometimes i wonder the amount of growth i have had here living in this small town.. and how i am missing out on things back home, friends getting married, family functions etc.. is it worth it to move this far away or not? and sometimes i wonder if people miss me. 

I don't know anyone in this town and spend a lot of time alone.. I just bought a guitar and i plan on playing the s*** out of it... My social life lacks here as i find people in small towns are not as open.. and once you are at a certain age it becomes harder to make new friends. I stopped smoking the herb for 6 weeks and broke my streak last week.. trying to only smoke on the weekened. I am taking it one day at a time.. No lady in my life either... trying to keep a positive mindset and telling myself good things are to come.. 
The funny thing about FOMO is that it happens to people on both ends of the spectrum. For example, I've been away from home and wondered what friends and family were up to and at home I've wondered what those friends who moved away were doing and how it's probably better than anything going on where I'm at. I'm sure some of them wonder what you're up to just as you do with them.

Statistics show that you most likely won't stick with your job forever so there will be opportunity to relocate in the future if you don't like where you're at. Think about your past year and your future time here as a trial period to figure out what you like/dislike about your town and possible places you'd like to live in the future based on that. At the very least, moving away from home is a learning experience and will help you to develop as a person. Just go into each day with the mentality that you need to try and make those new connections with people in town happen, it's unlikely that people just come up to you to have those interactions. Since you're getting into guitar, see if there are any local musicians you could link up with or any venues to see some concerts.
 
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This probably doesn't fit as a confession but I had to get this off my mind.

I'm an introvert that likes to have time to myself, but it sucks that I can be around people and still feel like that I'm alone in the world.

I've been feeling that way for a while. Somehow I can't shake it. I know there are plenty of others that are going through worse times that I am. Once I reflect on certain things, like my flaws, failures, and other negative things, it sticks with me for a long time. I'm grateful for what I have in my life, but sometimes I feel like a disappointment.
 
Im kind of in a situation like yours. I rather be alone at home or doing my own thing right now. Little by little I'm starting to go out again. When I do go out I rather be home or feel like I'm alone even when I'm around all my friends. Not sure why cause I don't really have anything bad going on in my life.
 
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Im kind of in a situation like yours. I rather be alone at home or doing my own thing right now. Little by little I'm starting to go out again. When I do go out I rather be home or feel like I'm alone even when I'm around all my friends. Not sure why cause I don't really have anything bad going on in my life.
I'm glad that I'm not the only one that feels that way. I was clubbing and bar hopping heavy in my younger years with family and friends. When I got to around 20-21 years old I realized that I wasting money going out clubbing every weekend. I don't really dance and I only went out to hang with the fellas.

Even at 33 and married, I still feel alone at times. 
 
I care too much about what people think of me. Maybe this is the first step to not giving an eff... You know, confessing. Usher style. I think it's because dad wasn't there for me. We don't get along very well. He's ridiculously difficult, like you don't even know.
 
I care too much about what people think of me. Maybe this is the first step to not giving an eff... You know, confessing. Usher style. I think it's because dad wasn't there for me. We don't get along very well. He's ridiculously difficult, like you don't even know.
Unless it's your peers that you respect(and that respect you). Don't worry what anyone else has to say or think about you.
 
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