Confessions

I think told you guys my dad died last year. I feel bad but we didn't get along towards the end so I dont really care that much he's gone

I can't stand my sisters. They're super religious and look at me like a voodoo monster because I admitted I dont do organized religion and wanted to study who Africans prayed to before slavery

I feel like I have a job I don't deserve because I barely tried in college


I feel alienated from my family because I always had the good boy/grandma's rep but Ive been smoking and drinking since I was 16. I still feel the need to protect my repuation
 
My father wants to me to go to the annual Christmas service at his church
I don't know how to tell him that I'm agnostic now
 
My father wants to me to go to the annual Christmas service at his church
I don't know how to tell him that I'm agnostic now
I'd just go. Afterwards maybe have a convo with him. I was raised baptist but identify more with agnostic now. I've had the convo with my dad and he's generally on the same page as me. My mom is a different story however. I'm avoiding that at all costs :lol

I still go to service every now and again if someone invites me to go. Isn't hurting me and you never know if the preacher might have a life lesson for you.
 
I think I have an internet addiction. Between, Youtube, NT, and Reddit, a massive amount of procrastination is going on. I used to think that I could just limit it to youtube but even that now is becoming a problem. I'm signing off as a challenge to myself. To see if I can last a whole year without using social media, but specifically NT, Reddit, and Youtube. I don't have a twitter, or insta. Tumblr and Facebook been deaded for a long time. Snapchat is highly infrequent. I won't get rid of snapchat just yet as I actually use it to communicate with people not just for mindless entertainment in a dull moment.

I'm rambling..but just a public challenge to myself. Still team no fap, still losing weight, still graduating school and all that. I'll share how I did in the future. 

Signing off until 2018.

Peace.
 
I go out of my way to stay busy so I don't have to answer the tougher questions that eat at me inside:

Am I happy?

Am I sure about my career?

If I die tomorrow, will I be content with the past 25 years?
 
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I need to focus on MY career.
I need to make sure next year I'm in a better position than this year.
I need to accomplish my goals.
This year I'm getting the car damn it, I'm getting it.
 
Coromanti Coromanti

I feel you bro, I just came back from a social network hiatus myself. Temporarily disabled everything for almost half a year to get what I needed to get done. Side note, I think it's alleviated some of my social anxiety. As a result, I got accepted to grad school and will be starting in the Spring! I didn't give up NT or YouTube though, as its an avenue for my own hobbies and self interests. Nonetheless, good luck fam.

bendover bendover

Sometimes when I'm super faded I go back and read my posts, like it was a timestamp of myself. Then I think about how different it is now.

Keep focusing on those goals bro. I promise you if its on your mind and you are motivated, you WILL achieve those things. I was able to move out of my parents house last summer after contemplating it for the past 3 years. I got into the school I wanted after taking advantage of the resources available for the 2 past years. Time will be your answer ONLY if you put in that work

slighted slighted

Nothing wrong with keeping yourself busy. I do it for the same reasons. The mind is a crazy thing and its tough on you at times. One thing that I think about every day, I just want to know that am I doing the right thing for myself
 
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couple of years ago I smashed this big girl...well she's a littler bigger than "big" I told my friends about it and ended up smashing with here 3 times total. 
The last time we met up, she told me she was working as" BBW Escort" and  that if that was cool with me; we could meet. So I went to see her and after I did my thing there was an awkward silence in the room. She kept staring at me and it seemed she wanted to ask for some monetary compensation. Out of the whole weird, awkward situation, my guilt for smashing her again and seeing like 5 used condoms in the hotel room's trashcan, I wanted to bounce out of there ASAP and shower with bleach, downy and rub rubbing alcohol all over my body. I told her I'd build a website for her so she can interact and book some clients directly.

I never built her a website

I still regret smashing with her. I got paranoid with STD's and spent some time and cash getting tested for all sorts of things. ( thank God I was clean)

my friends will still mess around with me at the bar and joke about it. 

I mean...she was BIG
 
couple of years ago I smashed this big girl...well she's a littler bigger than "big" I told my friends about it and ended up smashing with here 3 times total. 

The last time we met up, she told me she was working as" BBW Escort" and  that if that was cool with me; we could meet. So I went to see her and after I did my thing there was an awkward silence in the room. She kept staring at me and it seemed she wanted to ask for some monetary compensation. Out of the whole weird, awkward situation, my guilt for smashing her again and seeing like 5 used condoms in the hotel room's trashcan, I wanted to bounce out of there ASAP and shower with bleach, downy and rub rubbing alcohol all over my body. I told her I'd build a website for her so she can interact and book some clients directly.

I never built her a website

I still regret smashing with her. I got paranoid with STD's and spent some time and cash getting tested for all sorts of things. ( thank God I was clean)
my friends will still mess around with me at the bar and joke about it. 

I mean...she was BIG
Fat girls need love too Craig
 
Slowly phasing out social media in my life. The stuff that interests me gets buried under repetitive political pissing contests and unimaginative attempts at humor. If I want to get in touch with people, I'll call or text them.

Just to kinda extend on the bolded part of this post, I'm starting to lose my best friend because of this same person.

Other day made plans to just go out with him and some other friends and you know have a good time. We're waiting on him and he still hasn't shown up. I hit him up to see if he's still coming and he says yea. ...More time passes and I hit him up again..no answer. Text him, no response. Hit him up on FB, reads the message..doesn't answer. All while BSing around on FB and still all on this chick's jock. We just said **** it and went without him

But yea he blatantly just blew everyone off and straight up ignored us with that broad being a big part of it. Like I really wouldn't even be complaining about it if it wasn't for the fact that this isn't the first time it's happened recently.

Call it whiny or w/e but it's a lil frustrating. Not even gonna bother hitting him up anymore till he breaks out this spell this broad has him under.

Had to call back to this again, because he's doing it yet again..same female(though we buried the hatchet, still acts very shady.) But this dude is just blatantly lying now instead of ignoring to avoid kicking it. It's to the point where I just don't bother speaking to the dude. He's pretty much her side n at this point (and vice versa) and all I can do is :{

20+ year friendship is 75% close to being over, because of some damn poon. Not mad about it as much as I am just baffled at somebody being this stupid.

Very few friendships last a lifetime though. Sometimes the person you befriend at 30,40, 50 will do good by you and flourish with you far longer than whoever you befriended at 5.
 
^ You ain't never lie, fam. It's kinda unsettling how dudes side with their women and completely lose their dignity/self-respect/independence.

I think it's best to not even bother. It sucks for sure, but it says more about him than it does about her, imo.
 
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Confession: I tend to seek females that I can find flaws in so I don't feel like they are too perfect for me.
I also can't keep any female that I'm actually seriously interested in, interested in me for more than a couple months. But if its a girl that i'm playing games with I can make her obsessed with me. anybody know why that is?
 
Confession: I tend to seek females that I can find flaws in so I don't feel like they are too perfect for me.
I also can't keep any female that I'm actually seriously interested in, interested in me for more than a couple months. But if its a girl that i'm playing games with I can make her obsessed with me. anybody know why that is?
Sounds like you put them on a pedestal and come off desperate.

When you're playing games with the birds, you probably think your value > theirs, so the dynamics are reversed.
 
Sounds like you put them on a pedestal and come off desperate.

When you're playing games with the birds, you probably think your value > theirs, so the dynamics are reversed.
maybe but I don't do things like double/triple text, beg, or try to force dead situations in general. I mostly pretend I don't care about a lot of things even if I do. i'll try to keep that in mind tho
 
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Sounds like you put them on a pedestal and come off desperate.

When you're playing games with the birds, you probably think your value > theirs, so the dynamics are reversed.
maybe but I don't do things like double/triple text, beg, or try to force dead situations in general. i'll try to keep that in mind tho
I feel you on this, fam.

Example

- I'm been texting 2 chicks now.

- I never double text, beg, or force anything. I keep texts short, simple, and to the point. I can't convey my personality, charm, etc. through text.

- I tell them "I'm going to this dope new spot on [xyz day]; you should come with." I hear nothing back, so I automatically chalk it up to an L. No problem, I do my own thing in the meantime because honestly, my goals/dreams/interests >>>>

- They respond 3 days later: "I'm so sorry, I've been caught up with [xyz]. I swear I'm not ignoring you! What's your schedule look like next week?"

I really don't understand what "I'm not ignoring you!" even means or if it's passive-aggressive.
 
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I think it's a face value statement. Sometimes we ignore people we don't want to talk to, sometimes we just forget to reply.
 
I feel you on this, fam.

Example
- I'm been texting 2 chicks now.
- I never double text, beg, or force anything. I keep texts short, simple, and to the point. I can't convey my personality, charm, etc. through text.
- I tell them "I'm going to this dope new spot on [xyz day]; you should come with." I hear nothing back, so I automatically chalk it up to an L. No problem, I do my own thing in the meantime because honestly, my goals/dreams/interests >>>>
- They respond 3 days later: "I'm so sorry, I've been caught up with [xyz]. I swear I'm not ignoring you! What's your schedule look like next week?"

I really don't understand what "I'm not ignoring you!" even means or if it's passive-aggressive.
yeah bro this girl finally asked my cousin for my number a couple weeks ago when she was drunk. she told me she always thought I was cute but I'm not very approachable lol. we fell asleep on facetime last night and she didn't text me all day today... maybe I'm over thinking it
 
Confession: so im talking to this one thick *** dominican joint that apparently dates a old friend of mine.. but she dont know i know that and i havent talk to him in years... anyways joint wants to chill and get the beatting but i know that feel :{ of joint cheating on you. Idk if i should :{ joint stupid thick too. And joint acts like she single too :{ .... john quiñones.. what would you do?
 
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You don't forget to text or can't reply for days, that's a terrible excuse. They a celebrity or something :{
 
You don't forget to text or can't reply for days, that's a terrible excuse. They a celebrity or something
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That's my thinking as well. 
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But what happens if they get back to you and ask to meet up?

I'm inclined to give benefit of the doubt, but if she flakes 2x = dead it. Got no time for shenanigans.
 
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This chick asked me to chill this past weekend and I legit fell asleep. By the time I woke up it was past midnight so I said f it it looks bad if I hit her up right now so I'll just give it some time in case she's mad :lol

But if you're having a consistent convo and as soon as you mention meeting up the convo goes dead, f the excuses she's playing games/trying to stall because the other man in her life isn't acting stupid right now
 
This chick asked me to chill this past weekend and I legit fell asleep. By the time I woke up it was past midnight so I said f it it looks bad if I hit her up right now so I'll just give it some time in case she's mad
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But if you're having a consistent convo and as soon as you mention meeting up the convo goes dead, f the excuses she's playing games/trying to stall because the other man in her life isn't acting stupid right now
How does that saying go?

"If she's not f--king you, she's f--king someone else."
 
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