the nomad
Banned
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- 736
I've self diagnosed myself wrong for the most part of 2013 Any minor occurrences on my body like skin irritation from exercise I freak out. ... I constantly think I have an STD even though I get tested and have no symptoms. I thought I had HIV and was depressed until I tested negative. My latest fear is Syphilis even though I've been test recently. I had protected sex a few weeks ago and constantly worried I have the disease. Even though it's WELL past the amount of time it takes for symptoms to show.
It's unhealthy and mentally debilitating I actually went to bed at an decent hour tonight and when my girl climbed into bed I went to the bathroom and saw a pimple on my chest. I examined it for about 20 mins then Googled symptoms and pictures of Syphilis for about 2 hours now. I get obsessive and overwhelmed to the point of tears.
My last STD test I actually cried tears of joy ...it's not limited to HIV and STD's, I constantly fear a heart attack or airborne sickness from the subway as well.
I was prescribed anxiety meds to reduce serotonin levels but I won't take them I don't want to be a pill poppin' med junkie. I already learned to control my diabetes in under 2 months because I didn't want to continue to take pills. I want to get over this fear.
Abstinence or monogamy truly might be the only way to cure my phobia. Deep down I think it maybe guilt from my wrong doing and I believe there should be a punishment more severe than the guilt itself.
It's unhealthy and mentally debilitating I actually went to bed at an decent hour tonight and when my girl climbed into bed I went to the bathroom and saw a pimple on my chest. I examined it for about 20 mins then Googled symptoms and pictures of Syphilis for about 2 hours now. I get obsessive and overwhelmed to the point of tears.
My last STD test I actually cried tears of joy ...it's not limited to HIV and STD's, I constantly fear a heart attack or airborne sickness from the subway as well.
I was prescribed anxiety meds to reduce serotonin levels but I won't take them I don't want to be a pill poppin' med junkie. I already learned to control my diabetes in under 2 months because I didn't want to continue to take pills. I want to get over this fear.
Abstinence or monogamy truly might be the only way to cure my phobia. Deep down I think it maybe guilt from my wrong doing and I believe there should be a punishment more severe than the guilt itself.