Confessions

every single girl ive been with ive lied to.

every single day. idk what it is but i just do it. i dont even think either. its like lying is a language for me. i tell girls what they wanna hear regardless if i mean it or not and most of the time i dont mean

theres this girl im talking to now, i like her a lot and we get along mad good. im actually gonna try and not lie or anything to her. so far so good

wish me luck ;)

Yooooo.. Word for word.. Exactly me right there.

I can't explain it. I just lie.. About the dumbest ****.. And I don't know why
 
Yooooo.. Word for word.. Exactly me right there.

I can't explain it. I just lie.. About the dumbest ****.. And I don't know why

I used to do that. I still kind of do to :rollin

I don't do it a lot but for example a few weeks ago I called into work and said I was throwing up. It was going around so I knew it was a legit excuse. When I came in the next day and my supervisor said something to me about I look like I'm feeling a lot better and he kind joked like he knew I hadn't been sick. So instead of playing it out I was just like, honestly man I hurt my back really bad deadlifting and was on my back with a heat pad all day..... he bought it :rollin
 
-I moved outt when I was 18. When my mom call.. I purposely don't answer :{ I feel like she's lied to me alot.. And she's not the woman I thot she was.

- i hate my job.. The managers pull the grimiest/ messed up things.. But can motivate myself enough to leave :(

- I grew up in a single mother household.. Could not afford nice sneakers. I'm afraid to wear my Jordan's n mess them up.. Cause I'm afraid I won't be able to afford them
In the future :{

-I doubt myself when I write music.. I'll write something dope.. Then 2 hours later I'm like.. "thats wack I need something better".. Still can't tell if that's a good or bad thing.

- I denied god when I was 13

-when I first started making music.. My homies clowned on me. Hard. I got love from random people. Funny how that works.

-I'm tired of running, I'm dying of thirst.
 
-In the past year, went from being on the fast-track to financial success with a well-paying job at a Fortune 500 to relocating to a small start-up with a high risk/high reward potential...

-Start-up is closing down and got laid off

-Started on a second degree majoring in Computer Science / Math

-Weird to be back in uni relatively older than most students (I'm 24)

-Hopefully in 2 years better opportunities will come...
 
My professor sent us an email with our grades and I got the lowest grade in the class
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.  Granted, it's a C+, but it feels bad to know I did the worst.

Thinking of talking to my professor and seeing if there's anything I can do to get it bumped up to a B, but I'm almost certain he's gonna say no because I need a 7% increase.

Thinking I'm not gonna be doing grad school now
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.  I have 3 semesters to somehow get my gpa from a 3.0 to a 3.7
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...
 
-Only 18 and been with this girl for about 4 months... First girl that I can see myself legit marrying... we we're best friends for 2 years before we took it to the "next level"

-I need a job... badly (NYC NT'ers help a brutha out)

-Spring Semester starts Monday... I did **** my first semester ever in college in the fall... I'm going for straight A's bruh... especially now that I know how to play this game called college

-I think I want to pursue my dreams of being a pro soccer player than go to college. I really feel I can make it... been told by A LOT of people I have talent always brushed it off... something I think about doing a lot everyday... if it wasn't for my parents i would take that risk no questions ask... gotta take risks in life... especially if you're going after a dream... IMO

Can't you train and do school at the same time? Would playing varsity get the exposure you need? It's a legit question, I'm not sure how soccer leagues work.
 
-Only 18 and been with this girl for about 4 months... First girl that I can see myself legit marrying... we we're best friends for 2 years before we took it to the "next level"

-I need a job... badly (NYC NT'ers help a brutha out)

-Spring Semester starts Monday... I did **** my first semester ever in college in the fall... I'm going for straight A's bruh... especially now that I know how to play this game called college

-I think I want to pursue my dreams of being a pro soccer player than go to college. I really feel I can make it... been told by A LOT of people I have talent always brushed it off... something I think about doing a lot everyday... if it wasn't for my parents i would take that risk no questions ask... gotta take risks in life... especially if you're going after a dream... IMO
Bro your only 18, go for your dream of playing pro. You never know you might just make it. Your only young once man and if you have the talent all you need is the drive. I say go for it.
 
- I don't tolerate females b.s. and I let them know.  I have no problem throwing around the "b-word" if a chick disrespects me. 

- I have a bad reactive temper.  Basically I don't really get mad about little things, but outright disrespect sends me into a rage that lasts a good few hours.

- Can't find a job to save my life. Only one of my close homies to finish college, yet all of them are employed with decent/good jobs.  I feel like I did it all wrong.

- Wish I never went to HU. **** was an ABSURD waste of money 
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- Pretty much been dealing with the same girl for over a year. We don't technically go out and she actually encourages me to find other chicks sometimes (srs) but yeah it's hard justify searching for new p when good p is already there.

- I feel bad that my Moms still has to give me some money for rent because I can't find another job.  Makes me feel like less than a man.

- Since I'm unemployed I don't even feel right going out, going on dates, or basically spending any $$$ that I don't have too.

- I've considered participating in some...uhh..nefarious activities to get some money.  Probably make a lot of money actually, but I'd hate to break my moms heart if I got locked up.

- My nerves are terrible.  Its gotten to the point even driving on the freeway makes me nervous as hell.

- I'm smart but I don't always make smart decisions, yet at the same time I don't really make dumb decisions either.  If that makes sense.

- I'm only 23 but I'm paranoid my life is going to end up being insanely average...

- My self-confidence is non-existent 
 
I hate myself

I have low self esteem

I wanted to kill myself back in 2010

I feel like I'm a failure

I feel like my parents don't love me

I still love my ex gf even though she broke up with me 3 years ago

I hate what I have done to some women in the past

I'm a horrible person

I still hold a grudge towards my dad for putting us in the horrible situation we are in

I should have never stopped playing baseball, the talent was there even though I'm not that tall

I still think about suicide every couple of months

I was ignorant as hell in middle school and high school
 
i hate people, i feel like i hate everyone i see, especially my peers.
i think people's social lives are dumb (meaningless drinking,partying, etc.) but i still feel like i'm missing out, maybe i only think that to rationalize the fact that im missing out
i have like 15-20 "friends" but i dont really feel close to any of them, only really feel close to my fam and bro. my social life is trash
i eat by myself in my dining hall like 75% of the time :{
i wish i was good at basketball but im trash, my jumper's been broken for like a year now
im pretty sure i have some kind of social anxiety, and im introverted so that makes it even worse
still havent found a summer internships even tho my coursework is stupid hard and i go to a decent school
virgin, never had any kind of relationship. *$%, ive never even kissed/made out with someone. smh :lol
im too quiet
im arrogant and condescending, i think im smarter than everyone, i know its obviously not true but i feel that way. but at the same time i have little to no self esteem/confidence

wow i guess i'm a bum :lol
 
-wasted my college years due to my weed addiction/ignorance, which caused major introversion, self-neglect, and a terrible GPA
-girls express interest in me and i never follow through due to my CRAZZY fear of rejection... so dumb of me
-kinda with a chick now who loves me to death and i can't stand her but can't shake her for the life of me
-i used to lie and cheat a whole lot... making strides on this now because i refuse to be a b**********, i'm better than that
-i wasted a countless amount of time and money in the kick game.. with what it has turned into now all i can do is smh
-sometimes i feel like i'm not enough of a people person and don't have too many friends
-i have no control when it comes to my diet.. i'm avg build but i can eat a jar of nutella or like a full pie of pizza if i wanted

-THE IMPORTANT THING TO TAKE FROM THIS THREAD IS THAT EVERYONE HAS ASPECTS OF THEIR LIFE WHERE THEY ARE NOT PROUD OF THEMSELVES OR THE CHOICES THEY'VE MADE BUT WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER... THINGS ARE NEVER AS BAD AS THEY SEEM WHEN YOU'RE DOWN AND THINGS ARE NEVER AS GOOD AS YOU THINK THEY ARE WHEN YOU'RE UP... LETS ALL MAKE STRIDES AND TRY TO BE BETTER INDIVIDUALS INSTEAD OF FEELING SORRY FOR OURSELVES AND JUST CONFESSING INTO A THREAD AND THEN NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.. WE ARE ALL CAPABLE OF MORE, THE EARLIER WE REALIZE IT, THE EARLIER WE CAN MAKE POSITIVE CHANGES TO COUNTER THOSE NEGATIVES.. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!
 
I have never kissed a girl :rolleyes
I hate my brother
The only reason I think I will make the NBA is that im crazy
i'm cool with a lot of people but never hang out with anyone during lunch or after school. Id rather spend my time practicing than wasting time imo, chilling. My parents think I am strange for doing that, they always ask me if I have friends, and I say of course, but they ask me why dont you ever hang out with them?
I would say in general, i ma good person, but ive done some things in the past that still haunt me to this day
 
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I'm 18 years old right now btw.

My dad slit his wrists a few years ago while I was playing xbox upstairs. I heard sirens, looked outside and saw my dad being carried outside with a lot of blood etc.

Knew my parents were arguing but didn't see this coming at all. Talked to my moms downstairs and went back up to my room to cry in a corner.

Turns out my dad was an alcoholic and a ra­pist (raped my mom, nobody else just clarifying). I purposely miss his calls nowadays most times because I know he doesn't give 2 ***** about me when it comes down to it and only uses me to talk to my mom. He only calls me personally when my mom doesn't pick up first.

I only told this irl to my friends who were playing xbox live with me at the time it happened and a few close female friends.

I often abuse Tramadol/Zaldiar (opiate painkiller) because it makes me feel good. Most days I don't feel much of either, I'm never really happy or really sad.

I generally give off an optimistic and happy vibe to people, that's what I'm told at least, but I don't really feel that way inside.

Cut down on this but some nights I'd spend over $100 on alcohol at bars with friends because the money and alcohol made me feel good.

I've spent over $400 in one night before on bottles of Grey Goose, Clicquot Champagne, Bombay Sapphire, ... for short term euphoria only to regret it later.

Same with the Armani I wear daily and the Rolex on my wrist. It makes me feel better but I shouldn't be spending all this money.

The money is all mine btw, made a large profit through investments with savings and had around $17-18000. I think I have around $9000 left but I'd have to check.
 
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Had sex with my high school English teacher after I had graduated and began taking vocal lessons from her..

A few days after we had sex, she got caught up for texting / emailing a student trying to get into a relationship with him.

She's in jail, but nobody ever found out about what happened.

sadly, she wasn't hot.
 
Pretty much blew up at my friend/roommate for making a joke about this girl I liked in front of our new roommate.  I know I overreacted, but I told him to keep it private and he "swears" he forgot.  Sucks because I considered him a good friend and now I'm sure we won't ever talk unless I admit I was wrong because he pretty much convinced himself he's never wrong...
 
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