Coping With a Difficult Breakup PART 2. UPDATE - Im Breaking Down Guys.....

[kidufc]

yeah I understand you been with her everyday for 2 years, but she dumped you.. You cant linger on that past, she doesn't want you and I know your stillthinkin about what yall had, but its gone.. That should be you're mentality..

just learn from this exp and not let it happen to you again or atleast not to this extent...

I too is somewhat in a predicament.. I've ended my relationship with the current girl I was seeing and stopped pursuing some girl I had a thing with once(she likes another guy)

it hurts me but I know I was in worst situations before and now it doesn't bother as much..

you'll get stronger from each breakup/heartbreak that you come cross with.. That's life it happens.

just know, you're not alone my fellow nter, there's always another person in some girl predicament as you, instance like my self.. That right thereshould give you the mentality of wanting to branch out from depressed dudes and not be a part of them. Lol

 

[Fong$tarr]

I've been seeing this post all the time and finally just decided to share my 2 cents.


First off I haven't even read all that has been going on here but from the last paragraph, it kind of sounded really familiar to words that I have said inthe past. The short of it, I was with someone for 7 years before we decided to call ti quits. She was a great girl and was someone I would have married in aheart beat. But the pain started when she found someone literally a couple of months after we broke up (of course found on myspace from friends that I had).

So not to get to the details of it all.....3 years have past and I am much better. I have went down the path of drinking, anxiety, stress and so much more butthe best thing that made things better is TIME. It is the hardest thing but eventually that will be the thing to pick you up. Mean time, best thing to do iskeep busy. I feel you friend, and hope things get better.....but I guarantee after all this, it will make you a better person. Good luck.

 

[imrichboy]

focus on yourself. try improving you're image and personality, and the size of you're wallet and everything will come in place.

 

[calypso chanta]

Man, its not gonna get better overnight. Keep your head up, and let your heart beat SLOW.

 

[donpoppa]

Originally Posted by Mr Fongstarr

I've been seeing this post all the time and finally just decided to share my 2 cents.


First off I haven't even read all that has been going on here but from the last paragraph, it kind of sounded really familiar to words that I have said in the past. The short of it, I was with someone for 7 years before we decided to call ti quits. She was a great girl and was someone I would have married in a heart beat. But the pain started when she found someone literally a couple of months after we broke up (of course found on myspace from friends that I had).

So not to get to the details of it all.....3 years have past and I am much better. I have went down the path of drinking, anxiety, stress and so much more but the best thing that made things better is TIME. It is the hardest thing but eventually that will be the thing to pick you up. Mean time, best thing to do is keep busy. I feel you friend, and hope things get better.....but I guarantee after all this, it will make you a better person. Good luck.

yeah my ex didnt waste any time either. she got with some dude at her job then i find out he lives next door to my cousin.

 

[asmathews]

keep your head up man, it will get better over time. everybody has been there before.
in the mean time, smoke a few l's to ease your mind

 

[mikejordache23]

that goddamn smushcalade...

CB94, that was really dope. hit me right in the heart.

 

[Fong$tarr]

And another thing, I am not even sure if you have the means for this but relocation was one of the best things for me. When I went through my whole thing, alot of my friends took her side and kind of left me in a place that I wasn't feeling welcome. I had to literally live in another area not to feel allparanoid in running in to them or her. It won't work for everyone but it was one of the best things I did for myself to cope with some of the issues.

 

[ballislife32688]

Originally Posted by Mr Fongstarr

I've been seeing this post all the time and finally just decided to share my 2 cents.


First off I haven't even read all that has been going on here but from the last paragraph, it kind of sounded really familiar to words that I have said in the past. The short of it, I was with someone for 7 years before we decided to call ti quits. She was a great girl and was someone I would have married in a heart beat. But the pain started when she found someone literally a couple of months after we broke up (of course found on myspace from friends that I had).

So not to get to the details of it all.....3 years have past and I am much better. I have went down the path of drinking, anxiety, stress and so much more but the best thing that made things better is TIME. It is the hardest thing but eventually that will be the thing to pick you up. Mean time, best thing to do is keep busy. I feel you friend, and hope things get better.....but I guarantee after all this, it will make you a better person. Good luck.

im sorry but after 7 years thats all yours. im sorry im not getting over that kind of love. my longest gf was 3 years and she did me wrong, ittook me a while to recover. but 7 years oh naw we working this out no matter what. dead serious

 

[Fong$tarr]

Originally Posted by ballislife32688

Originally Posted by Mr Fongstarr

I've been seeing this post all the time and finally just decided to share my 2 cents.






First off I haven't even read all that has been going on here but from the last paragraph, it kind of sounded really familiar to words that I have said in
the past. The short of it, I was with someone for 7 years before we decided to call ti quits. She was a great girl and was someone I would have married in a
heart beat. But the pain started when she found someone literally a couple of months after we broke up (of course found on myspace from friends that I had).




So not to get to the details of it all.....3 years have past and I am much better. I have went down the path of drinking, anxiety, stress and so much more but
the best thing that made things better is TIME. It is the hardest thing but eventually that will be the thing to pick you up. Mean time, best thing to do is
keep busy. I feel you friend, and hope things get better.....but I guarantee after all this, it will make you a better person. Good luck.

im sorry but after 7 years thats all yours. im sorry im not getting over that kind of love. my longest gf was 3 years and she did me wrong, it took me a while to recover. but 7 years oh naw we working this out no matter what. dead serious

Try telling that to a person that found someone else. I mean I was bitter at the time but it is understandable. We have been together ever since high schoolbut after it all, I think she wanted to date other people since I was her first serious relationship. People tell me she probably met him even when we weretogether but for whatever happened, she found someone else and it is always easier to move on when someone else is there. I tried working it out but I vownever to stoop to that level again. It is embarrassing doing all the "ex-boyfriend" things when nothing comes out of it. But it could have beenworse. We could have been married or had kids but at least we parted ways to start fresh.

 

[ballislife32688]

Originally Posted by Mr Fongstarr

Originally Posted by ballislife32688

Originally Posted by Mr Fongstarr

I've been seeing this post all the time and finally just decided to share my 2 cents.






First off I haven't even read all that has been going on here but from the last paragraph, it kind of sounded really familiar to words that I have said in
the past. The short of it, I was with someone for 7 years before we decided to call ti quits. She was a great girl and was someone I would have married in a
heart beat. But the pain started when she found someone literally a couple of months after we broke up (of course found on myspace from friends that I had).




So not to get to the details of it all.....3 years have past and I am much better. I have went down the path of drinking, anxiety, stress and so much more but
the best thing that made things better is TIME. It is the hardest thing but eventually that will be the thing to pick you up. Mean time, best thing to do is
keep busy. I feel you friend, and hope things get better.....but I guarantee after all this, it will make you a better person. Good luck.

im sorry but after 7 years thats all yours. im sorry im not getting over that kind of love. my longest gf was 3 years and she did me wrong, it took me a while to recover. but 7 years oh naw we working this out no matter what. dead serious

Try telling that to a person that found someone else. I mean I was bitter at the time but it is understandable. We have been together ever since high school but after it all, I think she wanted to date other people since I was her first serious relationship. People tell me she probably met him even when we were together but for whatever happened, she found someone else and it is always easier to move on when someone else is there. I tried working it out but I vow never to stoop to that level again. It is embarrassing doing all the "ex-boyfriend" things when nothing comes out of it. But it could have been worse. We could have been married or had kids but at least we parted ways to start fresh.

its sad but had you gave her no attention, she probally would have came back, women dont like being treated right its so sad. oh and word to thewise they always come back around and regret there decision, trust me on that. even if u dont want her she will be back and thats a fact

 

[politics as usual 22]

I think that the only thing that makes me feel better about anything is the optimistic padding of my ego that's telling me she'll come crawling back.

Then I think about it pessimistically like I'll never speak to broad again and I get really

Pain, seriously sucks...

 

[redbrim]

Originally Posted by Mr Fongstarr

And another thing, I am not even sure if you have the means for this but relocation was one of the best things for me. When I went through my whole thing, a lot of my friends took her side and kind of left me in a place that I wasn't feeling welcome. I had to literally live in another area not to feel all paranoid in running in to them or her. It won't work for everyone but it was one of the best things I did for myself to cope with some of the issues.

That's strange . . . then again I'm not sure who initiated the break up or if it was "mutual" (although don't believe in that, word toSeinfeld).

But my ex and I MET at our job, I worked there a year before her . . . when we broke up, surprisingly we both quit our jobs and found elsewhere to work withoutknowing the other did so. Strange because it happened at the same time that we quit. It was just a part-time, so in now way it's like I'm letting afemale jeopardize my "career."

But she found a job instantly and I found one a week later, within the same "category." Except MINES pays 2x as hers, and I know she knows so itfeels kind of . . . well, "great" that she knows that.

Anydamnway, all of "our" old friends are from that job where we met. Some still talk to her, but most have given my side, somewhat. I still hang outwith all of the usual group we hung out with when we were together. It's good for support, but also that 'revenge' feeling cause I know she misseshanging out with the group. Whether it's wrong or not, I purposely make plans now with my group of friends and have them snap pics . . . because this dayin age, everything goes up on networking sites. So I know damn well, she'll see pics of me with the group without me having to directly doing so.


PS-Your 7 year relationship coming to an end is only something I can imagine in terms of pain.

 

[redbrim]

Originally Posted by Politics As Usual 22

I think that the only thing that makes me feel better about anything is the optimistic padding of my ego that's telling me she'll come crawling back.

Then I think about it pessimistically like I'll never speak to broad again and I get really

Pain, seriously sucks...

Same thing that runs through my mind, but not so much 'she'll come crawling back' but moreso she'll remember the great times and the great guyI was and how I treated her like a queen.

I don't think telling yourself that she'll come crawling back will let things go, but moreso keep you on that edge of "waiting" to see thatcome reality.

It's best to say: You'll NEVER see her again. That way if you do, it takes you by surprise and hopefully by then you'll be back on your feet. Andby that I mean, up and about living life to the fullest. But I see it as motivation: The next time my ex see's me, I want to make sure she realizes whatshe left and that she see's me so damn happy . . .

Work out. Eat good. Live good.

It's like a competition: The next time yall run into eachother, who can make the other one jealous (with how they're doing)? I know for damn sureI'll make sure she see's I'm doing great.



Peace

 

[Fong$tarr]

Originally Posted by REDBRIM


I don't think telling yourself that she'll come crawling back will let things go, but moreso keep you on that edge of "waiting" to see that come reality.

It's best to say: You'll NEVER see her again. That way if you do, it takes you by surprise and hopefully by then you'll be back on your feet. And by that I mean, up and about living life to the fullest. But I see it as motivation: The next time my ex see's me, I want to make sure she realizes what she left and that she see's me so damn happy . . .

Work out. Eat good. Live good.

It's like a competition: The next time yall run into eachother, who can make the other one jealous (with how they're doing)? I know for damn sure I'll make sure she see's I'm doing great.

Yes......don't torment yourself with false realities. I went 7 months thinking that I could get back with my ex and it was just a waste of 7 months. Bestthing to do is look into the present and heal now. Even the whole idea about eventually seeing your ex and making her feel jealous when you see her is bad. Imean use it as a motivation to make yourself get better but bottom line if you do that in the long run, you are focusing on your ex and whether you like it ornot and she is getting the best of you.

And also yes...make sure to eat and keep yourself active. I went through a shut down of not eating properly and just sitting on the couch drinking Jack by mydamn self so I could fall asleep at nights. It was bad times...but in the long run, I got better.

I do it less now but at the time on NT whenever I see someone experiencing the same things as me, I would always click in and share my experiences andliterally say the same things. I think the thing you have to look at is that this happens to the best of people out there all over the world but as timeprogresses, people always get better. I not even sure what the OP age is but if he is in his 20's, you will look at this as a small part of your life inthe long run.

 

[jdmevoixmr]

This is a good thread, shame OP hasn't logged on in 2 months, wonder how OP is doing now. A month after this thread happened, I was caught in the same predicament. Except I didn't restrict her, I trusted her enough with her guy friends. Basically what happened was she had finals, and she straight up ignored me, NEVER answered my calls, or responded to my BBMs, I just asked for 5 minutes of her time, wouldn't even give it to me. I got heated and said a bunch of things I now can't take back. So she broke up with me, and got with one of her "friends" "8 days after." They were obviously talking while we were together, and getting with someone 8 days after a 2 year relationship, it just screams that they were talking. In fact I don't even know when they really got together, I think it's December 1st, which was while we were still together, also have some evidence to back up that claim. But what's done is done, and I'm moving on. My money is good

and I'm in school again. But sometimes, I just wish things didn't turn out this way, I feel like I wasted 2 years of my life, my hard work. And now whenever I talk to her, all she does is make excuses and try to justify her wrongs, she keeps saying sorry, but I feel like that's not enough 

I really want to forgive her, but it's going to be a long time before I can, and as of now, I'm still waiting for an honest apology, instead of stupid emails of trying to justify what she did. I really hate cheaters, and now I feel like I can't trust ANY girl, I thought this one was a good girl, that she was smarter than that, that she wouldn't do something this low, I guess I was wrong.

I trusted her with ALL of her guy friends, even let her go to prom with one of them. And she just ended up getting with one of her "kuyas." I guess that's what I get for NOT restricting a girl, and actually trusting her.

 

[ouch my feet]

Yo seriously though? Once you break up, all is fair. I mean a couple months? Seriously? Thats forever! I mean give yourself time but how much time do you need? If a relationship goes sour, shake it off, come to realization, and go out on some dates.

You dont need to come shooting out of the gate, but after a month or two I would say a couple dates here and there are fair game.



As for OP, LEAVE THE GIRL ALONE AND MOVE ON. Slap yourself fresh and go find some sexy women who know how to treat you right!

 

[airjordan1217]

I know how you feel OP. Hope everything is alright man. keep ya head up