Craziest thing a chick ever said in bed… vol 1

[hansolo23]

"Don't roll over on my son"

 

[hansolo23]

"Don't roll over on my son"

 

[popcornplaya]

*decides to pass.*

 

[popcornplaya]

*decides to pass.*

 

[young halo]

Originally Posted by HanSolo23

"Don't roll over on my son daughter"

 

[young halo]

Originally Posted by HanSolo23

"Don't roll over on my son daughter"

 

[flyjr22]

after I beat it up my ex-gf in HS is about to give ya boy some knowledge and she grabs my D as hard as she can and kisses it and caresses it and says "I wish I can make a mold out of your D so I can always have it with me" i was like

another girl said "can you F me and use the vibrator at the same time, I said only if you let me spray your face..." unfortunately we couldn't come to an agreement on that

another girl said "I rather give a guy head than kiss...." me: well $h!+ be my guest

"Can I suck you up while eating this ice cream??? me: yea but I haven't took a shower in over 24 hours (it was my day off

I was lazy

) her: I don't care the ice cream will make it taste good anyways"

one time im smashing in the car and this girl is literally crying tears of pain like I'm killing her so I stop. She replies: "Why'd you STOP!?!" me: cuz you sound like I'm killing/raping you.... her: "No these are tears of joy cuz it hurts sooo good don't stop..."

same girl: wanna ride with me and my brother to the piers in frisco and then to oakland? me: uhh not really. her: come on it'll be fun, he's gonna be in the car with his girl anyways we're going to be following them, I'll give you head the whole trip and back

me thinking: damn can I really say no to that??? I skeeted 3 times and she kept going till the trip was done

while having sex: "wait I'm not high anymore..." me: w-t-f? her: yea let's have a smoke break. Me: I'm not done though... her: here I'll just suck you up and we can smoke our own individual blunts me:  B1+ch you smoke too much weed

(I proceeded to smoke with her anyways

)

another girl: (she puts her hands in my pants) "oh you're a koo size, not HELLA BIG but koo" me thinking: Ok h03 wait til this $h!+  is in you. [10 min. pass] "oh my god I can feel it my chest!"

one white girl asked to give me head with the T-tops off in my 300zx on a busy street so I obliged

this mexican girl told me I can F her Face cuz she didn't know how to give head good

man I have the craziest sex stories my friends are always telling me I should audition for porn

I said if I do ima be doing %$* like wearing jason masks, goon masks and michael myers masks to conceal my indentity ohhhh man youth is great

 

[flyjr22]

after I beat it up my ex-gf in HS is about to give ya boy some knowledge and she grabs my D as hard as she can and kisses it and caresses it and says "I wish I can make a mold out of your D so I can always have it with me" i was like

another girl said "can you F me and use the vibrator at the same time, I said only if you let me spray your face..." unfortunately we couldn't come to an agreement on that

another girl said "I rather give a guy head than kiss...." me: well $h!+ be my guest

"Can I suck you up while eating this ice cream??? me: yea but I haven't took a shower in over 24 hours (it was my day off

I was lazy

) her: I don't care the ice cream will make it taste good anyways"

one time im smashing in the car and this girl is literally crying tears of pain like I'm killing her so I stop. She replies: "Why'd you STOP!?!" me: cuz you sound like I'm killing/raping you.... her: "No these are tears of joy cuz it hurts sooo good don't stop..."

same girl: wanna ride with me and my brother to the piers in frisco and then to oakland? me: uhh not really. her: come on it'll be fun, he's gonna be in the car with his girl anyways we're going to be following them, I'll give you head the whole trip and back

me thinking: damn can I really say no to that??? I skeeted 3 times and she kept going till the trip was done

while having sex: "wait I'm not high anymore..." me: w-t-f? her: yea let's have a smoke break. Me: I'm not done though... her: here I'll just suck you up and we can smoke our own individual blunts me:  B1+ch you smoke too much weed

(I proceeded to smoke with her anyways

)

another girl: (she puts her hands in my pants) "oh you're a koo size, not HELLA BIG but koo" me thinking: Ok h03 wait til this $h!+  is in you. [10 min. pass] "oh my god I can feel it my chest!"

one white girl asked to give me head with the T-tops off in my 300zx on a busy street so I obliged

this mexican girl told me I can F her Face cuz she didn't know how to give head good

man I have the craziest sex stories my friends are always telling me I should audition for porn

I said if I do ima be doing %$* like wearing jason masks, goon masks and michael myers masks to conceal my indentity ohhhh man youth is great

 

[youngcurse]

Originally Posted by G14

messing with this ex-cop

she was like its okay to shoot in me ever since i been shot i cant get prego ( shows me scar )

& she was right

 

[youngcurse]

Originally Posted by G14

messing with this ex-cop

she was like its okay to shoot in me ever since i been shot i cant get prego ( shows me scar )

& she was right

 

[shoeking2101]

We got a lot of

 going on in here

 

[shoeking2101]

We got a lot of

 going on in here

 

[Bert.]

Originally Posted by that WAVE

"put it in my butt benjamin"

Curious case of Benjamin button was on the tv...shorty was calling me benjamin for a month straight

 

[Bert.]

Originally Posted by that WAVE

"put it in my butt benjamin"

Curious case of Benjamin button was on the tv...shorty was calling me benjamin for a month straight

 

[caddylac]

Originally Posted by IHeartBoost

I remember we were watching a movie and there was a scene were this guy gets cracked in the head with a bottle by a women, and he shakes off the champagne and they start having wild sex, she thought that was "super sexy" and "such a turn-on". Needless to say, she ask me if she could crack me in the head with a bottle in foreplay

that's when I had to let her go.

 

[caddylac]

Originally Posted by IHeartBoost

I remember we were watching a movie and there was a scene were this guy gets cracked in the head with a bottle by a women, and he shakes off the champagne and they start having wild sex, she thought that was "super sexy" and "such a turn-on". Needless to say, she ask me if she could crack me in the head with a bottle in foreplay

that's when I had to let her go.

 

[mondaynightraw]

@some of these

But yeah..I love you and put a finger in my butt takes the cake

 

[mondaynightraw]

@some of these

But yeah..I love you and put a finger in my butt takes the cake

 

[dmoney82]

"Call me your sister" 

Swear to bajesus

 

[dmoney82]

"Call me your sister" 

Swear to bajesus

 

[adrian1221]

FlyJr22 wrote:

another girl said "can you F me and use the vibrator at the same time, I said only if you let me spray your face..." unfortunately we couldn't come to an agreement on that

 

[adrian1221]

FlyJr22 wrote:

another girl said "can you F me and use the vibrator at the same time, I said only if you let me spray your face..." unfortunately we couldn't come to an agreement on that

 

[dame theory]

Originally Posted by dnycemodel

Originally Posted by ToLiveandDieinNJ

Ok I'm in Aruba, with 3 of my homies and my one boy hit it off w/ this local chick the 1st night, so like the 3rd night she brought her friends around. End up back at this crib, and I'm with this crazy lil petitte 5ft nothing 100lb chick who picked me know what I'm saying. I'm 6'2 285lbs then. So we are in her room getting loose, and she really doesn't speak english all that well. Anyway she goes, Musica? and I'm like yea whatever, I could careless I just wanted to get it in, she goes Daddy Yankee? I'm like sure, well I never banged to reggaetone before and the beat had me killing it - Machucando, Machucandooooo, so we finish and she pulls the condom off my joint, and goes "Mucho pinga leche" with a huge grin, turns the condom upside down, drinks it and walks into the bathroom.



Rest of the trip, my boys would only call me Daddy Yankee. Which was awkward bc we were staying at my parent's timeshare w/ my younger sister as well.



I should've married that girl, best/hottest sex/connection of my life. Never felt that way w/ another chick.Understood what Prince meant when he says "I feel the heat between me and you."

This thread is turning out pretty good...

 

[dame theory]

Originally Posted by dnycemodel

Originally Posted by ToLiveandDieinNJ

Ok I'm in Aruba, with 3 of my homies and my one boy hit it off w/ this local chick the 1st night, so like the 3rd night she brought her friends around. End up back at this crib, and I'm with this crazy lil petitte 5ft nothing 100lb chick who picked me know what I'm saying. I'm 6'2 285lbs then. So we are in her room getting loose, and she really doesn't speak english all that well. Anyway she goes, Musica? and I'm like yea whatever, I could careless I just wanted to get it in, she goes Daddy Yankee? I'm like sure, well I never banged to reggaetone before and the beat had me killing it - Machucando, Machucandooooo, so we finish and she pulls the condom off my joint, and goes "Mucho pinga leche" with a huge grin, turns the condom upside down, drinks it and walks into the bathroom.



Rest of the trip, my boys would only call me Daddy Yankee. Which was awkward bc we were staying at my parent's timeshare w/ my younger sister as well.



I should've married that girl, best/hottest sex/connection of my life. Never felt that way w/ another chick.Understood what Prince meant when he says "I feel the heat between me and you."

This thread is turning out pretty good...

 

[sammietheboss]

HanSolo23 wrote:

---

"Don't roll over on my son"


This is the most funniest and disturbing thing I've heard on NT