- 7,127
- 772
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2007
LMFAO Rusty.
"it was like Ultimate Warrior's music hit"
lololol
Rusty that joint was hilarious
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: this_feature_currently_requires_accessing_site_using_safari
LMFAO Rusty.
"it was like Ultimate Warrior's music hit"
lololol
Nah brah, from the DMV
I work in an office and it's cool. As long as you do your work, the managers will never get on you. I had these two girls that were inseperable in my department. They would go to the bathroom together, smoke cigarettes outside together (constantly). They were basically two peas-in-a-pod.
Anyways, one of the girls comes in at 7 and the other one comes in at 8. We don't need to punch in with a time card or anything. All we have to do is log in on our computer to punch in. So, the girl that comes in at 8 would just give the other girl her password to her computer to log her in to punch her in for 7 O'Clock.
Like every corporate craphole, our computers are monitored and tracked to see what you have done. We need to "touch" cases where it gets timestamped. My boss figuring out that these past few weeks this girl hasn't touched a case in over an hour gets suspicious. My boss tells the one who is coming in late to go to his office. My office is not small but being in an office, people can hear things. I hear my boss reaming this chick out saying "who is punching you in?!" "Tell me"!
The girl finally snitches as to who is helping her. 30 minutes later, they are both crying cleaning out their cubicle. They also have children to take care of.
Really? What part?
I work in an office and it's cool. As long as you do your work, the managers will never get on you. I had these two girls that were inseperable in my department. They would go to the bathroom together, smoke cigarettes outside together (constantly). They were basically two peas-in-a-pod.
Anyways, one of the girls comes in at 7 and the other one comes in at 8. We don't need to punch in with a time card or anything. All we have to do is log in on our computer to punch in. So, the girl that comes in at 8 would just give the other girl her password to her computer to log her in to punch her in for 7 O'Clock.
Like every corporate craphole, our computers are monitored and tracked to see what you have done. We need to "touch" cases where it gets timestamped. My boss figuring out that these past few weeks this girl hasn't touched a case in over an hour gets suspicious. My boss tells the one who is coming in late to go to his office. My office is not small but being in an office, people can hear things. I hear my boss reaming this chick out saying "who is punching you in?!" "Tell me"!
The girl finally snitches as to who is helping her. 30 minutes later, they are both crying cleaning out their cubicle. They also have children to take care of.
no mercy, thought you were gonna say they're some teenagers, but mothers?
Silver Sping, MoCo
especially at the 45 second mark down the lane!!when watching that clip, is anyone actually picturing the LP doing that with soo much hype and passion
prob just watch it like 10x right now
^ yo make that story longer. I don't know what went on to make dude pick on him. Elaborate plz
will finish, maybe tomorrow. i got as far as ppl oohhhs and ahhs ala the rucker....immediately thought of harlem shake storyDJ Voice: NEW RUSTY!!!!
There is another LP story. Sorry for the length but it is like 2 stories in one. Like I said before, I could go one about the LP for days. Wild M-fer
There was this one guy who always used to steal from the store. The LP is not there everyday so dude got us a couple times when the LP was out and another time out ran the LP to escape. Employees in the shoe and apparel section had a pic of him, and everyone was on high alert if homeboy came back in. So one late afternoon the thief comes back in with one of his homeboys.
They split up, one heads for shoes, the regular thief for Northfaces. At that time our Northface jackets were not locked down, anyone could take one off the rack and try it on. The thief does just that, takes off his jacket, put on the Northface, puts his jacket back on top of it. An apparel associate spots dude coming out the dressing room and immediately runs to get the LP. Another apparel associate being an idiot goes over the PA system and says “Security to the Northfaces”
The LP wanted to sneak up on dude but *** soon as that announcement went over the store it was like the Ultimate Warrior's music hit. LP comes sprinting out his camera room to the front of the store. He knows the thief must now be on high alert. The LP stops right at the front of the store, looking around to see where dude is and how he could cut him off. The clothing section is set up in such away that there are clothes at either side and one big aisle down the middle. The dude stealing the jacket is in the aisle, all the way at one end and LP is at the other end in the front of the store.
LP wasn't subtle, thief sees him run up. They make eye contact, and it was like and Old Western Duel, both of them knew it was on. What happens next to this day might be the greatest thing I ever witnessed. The dude stealing starts sprinting toward the LP. Even the LP was shocked, he doesn't know what to do at first but quickly squares up and crotches like he is guarding a ball handler. So the thief is sprinting at full speed toward the LP. I think he is trying to run the LP over but homeboy had other plans
The dude gets within feet of the LP and stops on a dime, some real Barry Sander type sheet. Hits the LP with a mean juke/jab step. The LP takes the bait and gets shook hard, even customers checking out are like “Ooooohhhhhh”. But homeboy was just checking to see if the LP would bite, word to Iverson crossing up MJ. The dude squares back up, lets the LP set his feet and hit him with two more filthy jukes. LP takes the bait again and it looks like the LP is playing a game of hopscotch after the second jukes. At this point the customers are “ohh and ahh” like they in Rucker Park. The LP is grabbing for the dude but only coming up with air. LP's legs are now doing what now looks like a callabo between a Crip Walk and the Stanky Legg. To finish off the LP the thief takes two steps backwards to avoid the LP's arms. Then Harlem Shakes in front the LP for a good couple seconds. The shoulder motion of the Harlem Shake makes the LP get his roll on, word to the Big Tymers. Then the thief hits a slick duck under like Mayweather in the pocket and he is out, off to the races
After that the LP falls forward, his ankles were shaking more than Muhammad Ali during a earthquake (forgive me lord), he falls right into a table filled with Under Armour shirts. The crowd goes wild like they just seen Hot Sauce violated someone's ankles. Real talk if we had recorded that **** we could have sold it as “The Sports Authority Mixtape Vol. 1” at the front of the store and put the LP's asz on a bus for the summer. It was that filthy brahs. LP needed to see a Podiatrist after that that one.
The LP is pissed, his is a dude that got pride for days, he gets up immediately and gives chase to the dude who was already going out the door. LP is chases the dude out the door, through the street and is giving chase through the parking lot. I run outside to get a better look at things, I can't get in trouble since I'm off the clock and I couldn't miss what the LP would do if he caught him. This was after witnessing the Pedigree, so I knew the LP left all dambs at home when he came to work
LP is fast so he is gaining on thief . The thief looks over his shoulder and sees this. As thief is running he takes off the his jacket. Looks back one more time, and then throws it in the air ahead of him. At first I had no ideal what the hell he was doing. Like was the jacket slowing him down or something? Little did I know that the thief was a graduate of the League of Shadows, and knew more tricks than me. The jacket goes up into the air and lands right on top the LP's head, blinding him.
The LP struggles for a couple seconds of get the jacket off, and those seconds were precious. LP kept on running while the jacket was on his head so he missed his step and trips over one of those concrete islands they got in parking lots. He falls forward and hits a minivan that was slowly driving through a road separating the fist parking lot from a second one. The LP completely wipes out, but like I said homeboy got so much pride he is trying to get up but his having problems now because the jacket, trip and car hit made him completely lost his barrings. The thief sees the state the LP is in and knows he is home safe so he starts acting like Dion Sanders returning a punt in Primetime. High stepping, looking back, taunting the LP. Dude reaches the end of second parking lot and there is a four lane road at the end. The LP spots the dude, and knows the highway is cutting him off so he gets up and continues to give chase. The LP didn't know one thing, that the thief also gave no dambs. Dude turns back, flips the LP off, beats his feet for a couple seconds (Real talk homeboy was acting like Go-Go music was playing), and runs into the street, into 4 lanes of traffic. Homeboy had no regard for human life, word to Kevin Harlan. Not even his own.
I'm standing at the edge of the first parking lot. The LP is now at the end of the second one. We both think dude is done for, a car is gonna take him out. LP is kinda freaking out because if dude gets hit, that's his ***.. Homeboy must have had Lightweight Pro, and Marathon Pro equipped because his makes it across untouched. But like I said, dis thief was Ra's ah Ghuled trained. And he is beating his feet from across the street. And from what I can see, he is battling the LP from across the street. Pretending to take LPs heart and kicking a field goal with it.......By the looks of it the FG was good, btw.
I'm wilding out at this point. I run back into the store to tell everyone what happened. The LP is standing across the street cursing at dude, waiting for a break in traffic last time I saw him. Now when I get back to the store I'm excited to tell my homeboy what happened but the store was busy while I'm gone. The dude the 1st thief came in with was still in the store. And he was grabbing ****, shoes, and coats . He got a box cutter in his hand so everyone is staying away. The manager called the police but everybody is just looking shaking their heads. Homeboy thought the LP was gone, the 1st thief gave him a run for his money so he ain't worried. My coworker said it looked like homeboy was on a episode of Supermarket Sweep. When I get back in the store, homeboy is just finishing up, ready to leave.
The store got double doors, you go through the first door and there is a vestibule where we display seasonal products, then the second exit door. It being the holiday season, game table were being displayed, specifically poker tables (this fact will play a key role is a couple seconds). Now this dude has won, he beat the system. He should have cut his loses earlier. While he is leaving the store, going through the entrance door, an Asian guy and his little kid are coming in. The Asian guys is holding the door open, at first I think it is for the 2nd thief , but then I notice the Asian guy looking back, and he got this weird look on his face. He keeps holding the door and suddenly I see him try to grab his son and try to pull the kid out of the doorway.
The thief is out the first door but he turns back to mock us and shout out his street/neighborhood/set.
BIG MISTAKE
MY NIGS, BIG MISTAKE
The 2nd thief was Latino and his name must have been Victor Cruz because he forgot the golden rule, protect yourself at all time. Suddenly I see the LP flying through the air, over the lil Asian Kid and his dad who is bent over trying to pick the kid up. LP nails the 2nd thief flush with a Jon Lynch type tackle, straight into the poker table . The LP was Terry Tate and the thief didn't refill the coffee. Poker table shatters, chips go flying everywhere. Asian dad is like “Hell Naw”, grabs his son and he is out. LP gets up and his celebrating like it was 4rd & Goal and he just make a sack. And after getting the Smackdown laid upon him, the thief pops up right away, but his legs where Zab Judah wobbly and he falls right back down on his face. To add insult to injury LP is beating his feet mocking the thief like the 1st one did to him (homeboy was from Eastern Europe so it looks like a wild River Dance), then picks up a couple chips and sprinkles it on top of homeboys face before slapping the cuffs on him.
Me and the other associate that saw the spear are wilding out. We are throwing **** on the ground joking “flag on the play, excescive roughness”. For an entire mouth after that whenever I saw the LP, I would just go “Goldberrrrrrg, Goldberrrrrrg, Goldberrrrrg, Goldberrrrrrrrg” in honor of that filthy spear. That spear completely made up for the first thief treating the LP's ankles like how Asa Akira would' be treated in a male prison. Disgustingly Violated
TL;DR
-A thief steals from store constantly, comes in one day with 2nd thief
-LP catches up with dude
-Thief violates the LP's ankles
-LP forgot to buy insurance from Kobe
-First thief gets away
-2nd thief not so lucky
-LP retains the title, Who's Next?
mercy for what? if you ran a business and found out that one of your employees was stealing, youd just let it go?
Here is a video of the LP's entrance, he comes in at like :38 seconds.
I seen him at the Sprint store next to the Dominoes and the Chinese spot...remember ****** tellin me how weird he is and all the questionable **** he had on his phone smh, that boy had some sugar in his tankI worked at tmobile while a freshmen in college. Pay was decent considering commission could easily be more than my hourly pay. I had a piece of crap manager named kwanza. He was a couple years older than me but since he was a manager he used to throw his weight around and act like he was better then all of us reps. We had a new kid start one day and him and kwanza got into it the first week on the job. Kwanza used to steal sales all the time from sales reps. He would go in the computer and add him name to all the sales so he would receive half the commission because back then we could split commission if the situation called for it. The new kid name was will and he wasn't happy with kwanza stealing his sale. He called the manager out his name and told him he dared him to come out the kiosk. Kwanza said no. Mind u this is at 5pm so customers are here while they are arguing. 15 min go by of them wilding and a small crowd appears. Will calls his homeboys and they surround the kiosk. I'm cool with will somim chilling laughing at our manager. Kwanza was 6'2 240 but refused to leave the kiosk. He called mall security to escort him from the kiosk to a police cruiser to get a ride home. He got clowned for that forever and will didn't get fired. Lol. I haven't seen kwanza since and this was in 06 but I heard he recently got fired from sprint. Lol
^ How does the Roethlesburger girl look?
Rusty you mean Victor Ortiz no? Anyways, funny *** story.