Favorite lines from The Office

[ripfan816]

I love this show. Just can't get enough. What are some of your favorite lines from the show.

Michael: "That's what she said"

Michael: "Hey no, aids is not funny, believe me I have tried"

 

[damnneardeadstock]

Michael: "he flashed PHYLLIS?! has he never seen pam? or karen from behind?"

 

[39478]

 

[airmaxin1]

Michael: I want, I want people hanging from the ceilings, lampshades on the heads. I want it to be a Playboy Mansion party. And also, I want you to know, andspread the word, that I will have my digital camera. And I will be taking pictures all along the way. And the best and craziest thing that happens will be onthe cover of the newsletter. Incentive.
Pam: You do realize that we can't serve liquor at the party.
Michael: Yeah, I know. Dammit. Stupid corporate wet blankets. Like booze ever killed anybody.

 

[cwwong034]

This isn't a funny line, but its probably the one that sticks out to me the most:
We're not in the playground anymore. There are new rules. We have to be mature, but we can't lose the spirit of childlikewonder. What is love, anyway?Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules. Like me and Jan. Or Oscar and some guy. Life is short. When two people find eachother, what should stand in their way?

 

[justhotkicks]

I could go on and on.

"Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the paper industry." - Michael Scott

"You don't call ******ed people ******s. That's in bad taste. You call your friends ******s when they're acting ******ed." - MichaelScott

"Wow, that is reaaaally hard. You think you can that long? All I know is you always left me satisfied." - Jim Halpert, responding to Michael'sclaim to no longer use the "That's what she said" phrase.

"Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." - Andy Bernard

"This is what I think happened. Creed obviously forgot to get me a gift, so he pulled this out of his closet and put it in a plastic bag." - JimHalpert
"Yep, that's exactly what happened." - Creed Bratton

"I crushed two extra-strength aspirins and put it into his pudding. I do the same thing when I try to get my dog to take his heartworm medicine." -Ryan Howard

I'll come back when I think of more lol.

 

[39478]

Michael agasint Toby....

 

[lennystyles]

"I'M CHAINSAWING PHYLLIS'S HEAD!!!!!!"

"VRROOOMMMM GRRR GRRR GRRR"

Andy Bernard

LT...

 

[schrutefarms]

there are at least 1-2 classic lines in every episode so i can't be bothered to list them all but

"Wow, that is reaaaally hard. You think you can that long? All I know is you always left me satisfied." - Jim Halpert, responding to Michael's claim to no longer use the "That's what she said" phrase.

this could easily take the top spot

 

[vick5]

::Michael wants to serve alcohol at christmas party::
Toby:I really don't think that's a good idea
Michael: ZIP IT! TOBY

 

[markybwoy]

Michael Scott: [trying to motivate an employee for the basketball game] You'll be like the dwarf that follows the wizard to the end of the earth in… uh…Lord of the Rings!
Dwight Schrute: Gimli.
Michael Scott: …NERD. THAT's why you're not on the team.

i died...its really old...vid would be better tho

 

[dkd4life]

Michael: Im not superstitious, im just a 'littlestitious'

 

[justhotkicks]

"Wow, you look exotic. Was your dad a G.I.?" - Michael Scott
"

" - Karen Fillipelli

"Dwight may have won the battle, but I will win the NEXT battle." - Andy Bernard

"Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, ampay?" - Andy Bernard, saying "What do you think, Pam?" in pig-latin

"Are you calling me a ho?" - Phyllis Smith

"Oompa loompa doompadee dawesome
Dwight is now gone, and that's totally awesome.
Oh, what a shame, he was such a nice guy
No, he was not, he was a total douche.
Oompa dee doo." - Andy Bernard

"I'm on medication." - Michael Scott
"Really, what?" - Brenda from Corporate
"Vomicillin" (pukes in bag) - Michael Scott

And probably my favorite Office quote of all time:

"Yeah, I taught Mike some slang, like 'fleece it out', 'goin Mach 5', 'Dinkin' flicka', stuff us negros say." - DarrylPhilbin

 

[Ofc.Phan]

Michael: meat is whats for dinner, who wants some man meat?
Dwight: i do i want some man meat
Jim: dwight wants some of your man meat

 

[dlo13]

If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds. And nobody would ever know I had ever been here...and I'd forget too.


I live by that principle.

 

[jsmilez]

"Nobody cares, I have to use that room sometime so wrap it up" Michael to Toby after not getting invited to Ryan's camping trip.

 

[el terrible23]

Michael: That would have really really showed him up, wouldn't it, if I brought in some burritos, or, colored greens, or some, pad thai, love pad thai …
Stanley: It's collard greens.
Michael: What?
Stanley: It's collard greens.
Michael: Uh, doesn't really make sense. Cuz you don't call them collard people. That's offensive.

and from Grief Counseling (season 3), Michael forces the office to each share a story about a family member who died...

Michael: [as Pam returns to conference room] Okay, we can start. Um...
Pam: You waited for me?
Michael: Yeah. Pam, you're a member of this family. So we will wait for our family members. Phyllis, you wanna give it a shot?
Dwight: [grabbing ball] I got it. When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they didanother ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissue has made me stronger. Inow have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
Michael: Okay, why don't you throw the ball to somebody else.
Stanley: [throwing ball back] Nope.
Michael: [returning ball to Stanley] Oh, yes Stanley. Come on. Your turn, you have to go.
Stanley: I will NOT. [throws ball back]
Michael: Okay... I'm going to toss the ball to Pam.
Pam: Let's see. I had an aunt that I was really close to. She was this amazing female boxer. Um, anyway, she was injured in a fight, andshe was paralyzed. So, you can imagine how upset I was when I found out that she asked her manager to remove her breathing tube so she could die.
Michael: Wow. If you wanna cry, that's okay.
Ryan: [catching ball] Thanks. Um, a few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and, um, my cousin, Mufasa was um, he was trampled todeath by a pack of wildebeests and, um, we all... took it really hard. All of us kind of in the audience of what happened.
Michael: Do you want to talk about it anymore?
Ryan: Oh, it would probably take me like an hour and a half to tell that whole story.
Kevin: Me, me, me, me, me me. [catches ball] Yes. Okay, um. I was trying to throw this party once. And everyone was over for the weekend. Andthen my uncle Bernie died, and so me and my best friend, we had to pretend like he was alive, so...
Michael: Wait a second. That's Weekend at Bernie's. [upset] Do you think that this is a game?
Phyllis: Well, there is a ball.
Michael: All right, we're starting over.

 

[djbj6t9]

Kevin: It's like eating a hot circle of garbage (in reference to the bad pizza)

Michael Scott: Bros before%!%!!. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. Andyou were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other%!%!! in the world. Andthen suddenly...she's not yo' ho no mo'.

Michael Scott: Jan told me to play it cool and not tell anybody because it could get us both in trouble. So officially I did not see her. But I did see Janthere. In our room. At night, and in the morning. That's all I'm gonna say. We had sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan.

 

[jblackcat13]

"Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family.
Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family."
-Michael Scott

This one too..

Michael Scott: Everybody, may I have you attention please? Today, we are not just spending aday at the beach.
Stanley Hudson: Oh, sweet mother of God.
Michael Scott: If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus.
Stanley Hudson: Excuse me?
Michael Scott: Or the front of the bus. Or drive the bus.

 

[step your game up]

"Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe, Ryan started the fire!"

 

[650]

i'll just pretend season 4 is a completely different show

 

[th0mas cr0wn]

"your dentist's name is Crentist..."

that whole exchange was gold

 

[iantheshark]

Originally Posted by jblackcat13

"Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family.
Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family."
-Michael Scott

That one takes the cake

 

[an dee 51o]

"Well there's basically two schools of thought...."

 

[one kl]

there are always lines that top one another..but i say basketball is the best overall episode