FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T KNOW: THE BIBLE SAYS WE SHOULDN'T GET TATTOOS

[HEATHEN]

Originally Posted by whyhellothere

man the lord aint finna do nothin

why you think i be up in the church every sunday tossing dollars in the collection plate?
like i said, god forgives so I know we good

Right.....
Ambush the funeral, shoot up the hearse...shoot your mother in front of the pastor, bible drop out of her purse. 

Right.....

 

[DCAllAfrican]

So honestly, who will go to Heaven? Oh yea I forgot, all you have to do is ask for forgiveness and truly be sorry right? I don't see how God will allow his folks to pass this test without a 100 point curve.

 

[servechilled81]

Originally Posted by mco85

Read the rest of Leviticus 19. Among the things written is "do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of materials." I think its important to have some kind of context when interpreting the Bible

MOST BAFFLING RULES TO THE 21ST CENTURY MIND 
(Note: See bottom of this for possible explanations of some of these rules)

• You shall not wear a "garment of cloth made of two kinds of stuff." (Leviticus 19:19). At first, I thought this applied to any mixed fiber. So I cleared my closet of all polycotton T-shirts. But it turns out the truly forbidden combo is mixing wool and linen. Sadly, my only good suit - my wedding suit -- contained both wool and linen. So I had to embargo it for a year. 
  
  
• If you are in a fistfight with another man, and his wife grabs your private parts, you "shall cut off her hand." (Deuteronomy 25:11-12). Another rule you won't find engraved outside many courthouses. 
  
  
• If you suspect your wife is cheating, you shall bring her to a priest, who will mix a potion of barley, water, and dust, which the woman shall drink. If she's cheating, her stomach will swell. (Numbers 5:11-20). 
  
  
• If you set your slave free after six years, but he decides to stay, then you shall bring him to the doorpost and bore a hole in his ear. (Exodus 21:5). 
  

MOST DIFFICULT TO FOLLOW

• You shall not trim the corners of your beard (Leviticus 19:27) My rabbinical beard became wildly uncomfortable, plus I was subjected to every beard joke in the history of facial hair, with about 412 ZZ Top references. 
  
  
• You should not lie on a bed where a mensturating woman has lain, and you can't sit on a chair where she has sat (Leviticus 15:20). That knocks out all subways and restaurants. See the Handy Seat section for my attempt to follow this. 
  
  
• You shall smash idols. The ban on idolatry is such a huge part of the Bible, I figured I should try to smash something. I ended up smashing my wife's fake Oscar statuette. But it felt like a hollow gesture, and it annoyed my wife by getting gold flakes all over the rug. 
  
  
• Put to death men and women who commit adultery. Though I did manage to figure out a way to stone adulterers. One adulterer in particular. A grumpy seventysomething man I met in the park. I used pebbles. 

[font=verdana, arial, sans-serif]From AJ Jacobs' The Year of Living Biblically.[/font]

[font=verdana, arial, sans-serif]
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[whyhellothere]

Originally Posted by SneakerHeathen

Originally Posted by whyhellothere

man the lord aint finna do nothin

why you think i be up in the church every sunday tossing dollars in the collection plate?
like i said, god forgives so I know we good

Right.....
Ambush the funeral, shoot up the hearse...shoot your mother in front of the pastor, bible drop out of her purse. 

Right.....

 

big homie g.o.d still gonna forgive me after all of that, you just gotta stop being so angry & have faith in him see

/sarcasm

 

[HEATHEN]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

So honestly, who will go to Heaven? Oh yea I forgot, all you have to do is ask for forgiveness and truly be sorry right? I don't see how God will allow his folks to pass this test without a 100 point curve.

According to my Catholic homie, he said that anyone who doesn't believe in Christianity/Catholicism and doesn't embrace Jesus as God/Son of God will go to Hell....
While he maintains that all Christians/Catholics will be forgiven for their transgressions. 

I don't speak to dude anymore, he thinks I'm a demon. Guyanese cat....

 Meanwhile homie having a child out of wedlock and drinks. 

 

[oh you mad]

Originally Posted by mco85

Read the rest of Leviticus 19. Among the things written is "do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of materials." I think its important to have some kind of context when interpreting the Bible

*Goes to confess*

I wore some jordan 11s today, yeah the pattent leather with mesh joints. Please forgive me lord.

 

[HEATHEN]

Originally Posted by whyhellothere

Originally Posted by SneakerHeathen

Originally Posted by whyhellothere

man the lord aint finna do nothin

why you think i be up in the church every sunday tossing dollars in the collection plate?
like i said, god forgives so I know we good

Right.....
Ambush the funeral, shoot up the hearse...shoot your mother in front of the pastor, bible drop out of her purse. 

Right.....

 

big homie g.o.d still gonna forgive me after all of that, you just gotta stop being so angry & have faith in him see

/sarcasm

you go ahead and do everything in your sig and see how much forgiveness there will be in your life and the possible hereafter. 
I'll be here waiting for your reply. 

 

[megatron]

da bible is a joke doe.

 

[jtplatnum]

Originally Posted by JFMartiMcDandruff

the bible says we shouldn't do a lot of things

the bible also says you shouldn't cut your sideburns

 

[sillyputty]

Liberal religious people annoy the living daylights out of me from time to time. Every statement out of their mouths is the epitome of either an ironic statement or a blatant contradiction.
Its the ridiculous picking and choosing that makes them more dangerous ideology in my eyes. Cafeteria christians or muslims etc.

At least Fundies are predictable. You know they're going to at least take the bible seriously.

But its the people who are so wishy-washy about what they choose to follow that need to get lost. 

The very MOMENT you choose to not follow a part of the bible then you have shown that the bible or whatever book you follow is NOT an infallible source of information. 

The very MOMENT you choose to make a decision on morality independent of what is stated in the bible or whatever book you follow then you have shown that it is NOT a source of morality and reason.

Moderate religious people are dangerous because they enable fundamentalists to continue to operate with impunity from scorn and criticism.

The only reason radicals like Santorum and Gingrich or Bachmann have a forum to talk is because not enough of the moderates out there are willing to call them out on it.

I don't care that you believe gay rights, womens rights, ethnic rights, birth control, or any other sort of progressive ideal...its the fact that your faith COMMANDS you to do so and you choose to overlook it but think its ok to take the rest of it as fact. Your beliefs as long as you claim them will continue to harm people and hold society back in immumerable ways.

We only need to look at how religious outfits are crying about paying for birth control with Obama's mandates now. Woe...helping women is all a sudden a burden. 

The very fact that notions of morality, ethics, and politics have evolved BEYOND those texts is all one needs to understand that they are NO LONGER RELEVANT in any form.

Before anyone says "well you need god to help people not do bad things"

Its time we start calling out all these fence riders. Its getting ridiculous. 

Originally Posted by whyhellothere

god forgives tho
y u mad?

Originally Posted by sooperhooper

Which is why I don't have any. Tats aren't shunned as much as they used to be. In this day and age, society is giving an "ok" to tons of things frowned upon in the Bible.


A question I'd like to ask atheists/ non Christians: How do you explain the numerical count of years directly reflecting Christ's death? As in BC/AD.

The western world (as a result of VIOLENT christian CONQUEST) uses the Gregorian Calendar. 

But I guess you've never heard of something called the Chinese New Year?...or The Mayan Calendar? 

I bet you really think the Eyptians were walking around calling the date "989 BC" or something. 

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

So honestly, who will go to Heaven? Oh yea I forgot, all you have to do is ask for forgiveness and truly be sorry right? I don't see how God will allow his folks to pass this test without a 100 point curve.

Its too EASY to get to Heaven.

You mean to tell me Stephen Hawking is going to hell but Hitler is in heaven? 

Pass.

If all I gotta do is say some funky words and god lets me in them i'm outta there. Plus all the interesting people go to hell anyways. What do I look like sitting around "praising" god like a damn serf? I'm not a minion of some other person's existence. I've got my own autonomy to worry about. No wonder they all love calling jesus your "Shepard" 

...The willingness to be a sycophant?  DISGUSTING.

You're no better than willing peasants...but at least during the royal monarchies of the past you could SEE the King. 

Will all of the women please tell me why they disobey this order?

You pick. Do you want to be a Christian first? Or an American First?

Because we can EASILY arrange either option.

 

[megatron]

my son sillputty

i swear we need to kick it in at my palace in prague this summer.

 

[HEATHEN]

OHMYDAYS!!! PRAIIIIIISE PUTTY!!!!

 

[DCAllAfrican]

People never reply when I ask them about Heaven. I always pose the question, "How boring would it be to praise all damn day." Does the thought of boredom get dismissed from our "minds" when we get there. I can't possibly see how ANYONE would enjoy that world.
Do people really want to go to Heaven or do people want to go to Heaven because they don't want to go to Hell?

What exactly is exciting about the depiction of Heaven? Praising all day? Who wants to do that? Or do people want to do that rather than being burned all damn day? 

 

[HEATHEN]

EDIT: Nvm DC I misunderstood. 

 

[antonlavey]

How did I miss this? School this year is getting in the way of my NTing

I love the "But that's the old testament" excuse so much, the new testament is filled with immorality, ignorance and contradictions as well

The only thing Christians fear more than God is my man Putty

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Do you think deep down inside folks know a lot of stuff in the Bible is garbage but of course they won't admit it. I had one dude tell me that the parables (fairy tales) in the Bible aren't meant to be taken serious. They are meant to be used as lessons. First person I ever heard say that.

I mean we don't believe in Jack and the Beanstalk but we believe someone parted the seas?

 

[gp9rm4108]

People don't do their research when it comes to the type of tattoo's and body modification that this passage is talking about. Many whack job Christians just read and show. You can't do that when passages refer to practices that happened in past times. You need to do research. It's talking about mimicing the pagan practices and arts where you basically cut images into your body, worship other God's through the act and burn marks onto yourself. I have also heard of practices where ashes would be rubbed into such wounds. Stuff along those lines.

The ink and needle machine that is used today is not the type of body marks that that talks about.

Cutting, branding and rubbing ashes into such wounds is still quite wrong in my eyes as those are types of modifications that can cause damage to your body.

Many people think piercings are bad too. Not the case as there were many important people and groups in the bible with piercings.

Those who know my stance will know that I am a Christian and have been my whole life.

Quick read on the Red Sea parting:

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/09/red-sea-parting/

 

[HEATHEN]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Do you think deep down inside folks know a lot of stuff in the Bible is garbage but of course they won't admit it. I had one dude tell me that the parables (fairy tales) in the Bible aren't meant to be taken serious. They are meant to be used as lessons. First person I ever heard say that.

I mean we don't believe in Jack and the Beanstalk but we believe someone parted the seas?

Absolutely. 
People are just too chicken %++# to denounce their faith/admit that they don't really believe. They're

1. Worried about what others think (family, friends, people).

2. Scared of the hereafter and therefore hang on to a false sense of security that all their transgressions will be forgiven

3. Hypebeasts, it's cool/fashionable to rock Jesus pieces and rosaries. Get tattoos and wear clothing with religious imagery. They'd follow the crowd no matter what. Sad existence, pathetic even.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

But if deep down inside you believe it is nonsense but you just don't verbalize it, aren't you already doomed for damn-nation. (I always loved that word. Is it one or two words, like long-gevity). But yea, if God knows your thoughts shouldn't he know that you think his system is flawed?

 

[HEATHEN]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

But if deep down inside you believe it is nonsense but you just don't verbalize it, aren't you already doomed for damn-nation. (I always loved that word. Is it one or two words, like long-gevity). But yea, if God knows your thoughts shouldn't he know that you think his system is flawed?

they rather not think about all that, now you're making them think. DAMN IT DC!!!! YOU'RE KILLING THEIR HIGH!!!
%!%$@!+ BUZZKILL!!!

For real though, that's why I always say that NT is the ABSOLUTE last place where topics on religion/race/politics should occur. Dudes on here are just too ignorant/soft to handle these types of discussions. They always get extra butthurt when their personal belief system is annihilated. It's pointless really. Then they want to make guys like Anton, Putty and DC out to be the antagonists when all they're doing is just really speaking from a very black and white context. It's all truth.

 

[sooperhooper]

This thread should be locked right about now. Walls-o-text are a coming.

 

[shoefreakbaby]

The flesh does not inherit the Kingdom

 

[mycoldyourdone]

theists are unable to start from scratch.

theyve never built anything.

 

[shoefreakbaby]

Originally Posted by GP9Rm4108

People don't do their research when it comes to the type of tattoo's and body modification that this passage is talking about. Many whack job Christians just read and show. You can't do that when passages refer to practices that happened in past times. You need to do research. It's talking about mimicing the pagan practices and arts where you basically cut images into your body, worship other God's through the act and burn marks onto yourself. I have also heard of practices where ashes would be rubbed into such wounds. Stuff along those lines.

The ink and needle machine that is used today is not the type of body marks that that talks about.

Cutting, branding and rubbing ashes into such wounds is still quite wrong in my eyes as those are types of modifications that can cause damage to your body.

Many people think piercings are bad too. Not the case as there were many important people and groups in the bible with piercings.

Those who know my stance will know that I am a Christian and have been my whole life.

 

[HEATHEN]

Originally Posted by GP9Rm4108

People don't do their research when it comes to the type of tattoo's and body modification that this passage is talking about. Many whack job Christians just read and show. You can't do that when passages refer to practices that happened in past times. You need to do research. It's talking about mimicing the pagan practices and arts where you basically cut images into your body, worship other God's through the act and burn marks onto yourself. I have also heard of practices where ashes would be rubbed into such wounds. Stuff along those lines.

The ink and needle machine that is used today is not the type of body marks that that talks about.

Cutting, branding and rubbing ashes into such wounds is still quite wrong in my eyes as those are types of modifications that can cause damage to your body.

Many people think piercings are bad too. Not the case as there were many important people and groups in the bible with piercings.

Those who know my stance will know that I am a Christian and have been my whole life.