Funniest thing someone said/read on NT?

[coryturner]

Originally Posted by CaponeCartels

Originally Posted by StonedFace

Originally Posted by Nash

That story about how the dude walked in on his girl giving some dude head, at which point he dropped to his knees and the dude said something like "my sperm on your girls face looks better than your son" and they started fighting.

that story had me in tears 

real talk its not funny when it happen to you.......last month me and my baby momma got back together so one day i wanna take her and my baby out so I call her and she didnt answer so i called her 10 more times and she still didnt answer so I went to her crib and her car was parked outside her house and it was another car a 1988 cutlass on 22 inch blocks so I knock on the door and no one came to the door but she left the door open so I just walked in so when i walk upstairs I hear a dude moaning so I open the door and i see my baby momma sucking dude up they both butt naked so i drop to my knees in shock and then he nutted on my baby momma face while im sitting right there and then he told me my kids on your baby momma face and they look better then your son so me and him started fighting and after i beat his #+% he got his gun so i dipped

smh 

 

[wr]

too many, but more recently some dude said something along the lines of this to pookieman


"Come on man, you're on a message board about shoes, plus you're wearing a sexual deviant mask".


Te "sexual deviant" part has me rollin every time I see his avy when he posts
s/n plus his avy reminds me of chris tucker in 5th element

 

[thunderchunk69]

Originally Posted by illmatic34

Originally Posted by Elpablo21

Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that’s where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and $#!%.

That #!$% was just out of left field in that thread.

although funny, not original to NT, that's 4ch

 

[needsomejays]

Originally Posted by Lakersfan1

One of the best threads ever; My supplement Review: Extenze http://niketalk.com/topic...iew-ExtenZe-12-20?page=4
"I ain't tryna get hooked on the performance enhancers though - *!*% around and have a shortie puttin' a asteriks next to my name in her phone and !+%#...

" My **** is long, but I want it to be thicker. Before, it was Tayshaun Prince. Thanks to Extenze, it's LeBron James now."

"no worries they sell this stuff at the corner stores...habibi don't care if you buy extenze or not"

"Now this %@@% right here my +%+%$...this %@@% right here will have you busting all over $%%!#*...having her look like she got spooged on like the ending of a gang-bang scene. My lady has BANNED me from using this because it made me too hard and aggressive. Not good for you dudes who go raw like a pound of ground beef...cause it makes you fertile too."

 

this one is also from a thread on extenze

"I took some extenze once and it had my thang harder thantrying to explain the color purple to a blind man. it just makes you feel likea beast....I had on some warm up pants and the wind blew..i almost busted off."

 

[caponecartels]

Originally Posted by coryturner

smh 

Holy hell it's you!

 

[hood17]

Originally Posted by needsomejays

Originally Posted by Lakersfan1

One of the best threads ever; My supplement Review: Extenze http://niketalk.com/topic...iew-ExtenZe-12-20?page=4
"I ain't tryna get hooked on the performance enhancers though - *!*% around and have a shortie puttin' a asteriks next to my name in her phone and !+%#...

" My **** is long, but I want it to be thicker. Before, it was Tayshaun Prince. Thanks to Extenze, it's LeBron James now."

"no worries they sell this stuff at the corner stores...habibi don't care if you buy extenze or not"

"Now this %@@% right here my +%+%$...this %@@% right here will have you busting all over $%%!#*...having her look like she got spooged on like the ending of a gang-bang scene. My lady has BANNED me from using this because it made me too hard and aggressive. Not good for you dudes who go raw like a pound of ground beef...cause it makes you fertile too."

 

this one is also from a thread on extenze

"I took some extenze once and it had my thang harder thantrying to explain the color purple to a blind man. it just makes you feel likea beast....I had on some warm up pants and the wind blew..i almost busted off."

 

[omgitswes]

Originally Posted by illmatic34

Originally Posted by Elpablo21

Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that’s where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and $#!%.

That #!$% was just out of left field in that thread.

I'm saying though. Had absolutely nothing to do with the thread

 

[raptors29]

The Mr. Diggles story

 

[17]

whole thread was hilarious but this post had me in tears:

"If it was my wife I'd tell the dude to rape my booty, but I'd probably poop my pants if in that situation. But before I expel my bowels in my boxers I'll clench that booty really tight. Right when he's about to stick his meat in I'll let that poop go out and push his %+%# or it'll explode with this massive mess catching him off guard. Then I'll grab whatever is closest to me, a lamp, pen, a magazine and defend myself and hopefully subdue him."

 

[iYen]

Originally Posted by 17

whole thread was hilarious but this post had me in tears:

"If it was my wife I'd tell the dude to rape my booty, but I'd probably poop my pants if in that situation. But before I expel my bowels in my boxers I'll clench that booty really tight. Right when he's about to stick his meat in I'll let that poop go out and push his %+%# or it'll explode with this massive mess catching him off guard. Then I'll grab whatever is closest to me, a lamp, pen, a magazine and defend myself and hopefully subdue him."

I remember this post.
The thread title was something like "would you let a bisexual robber rape you or your girl?"

 

[17]

Originally Posted by iYen

Originally Posted by 17

whole thread was hilarious but this post had me in tears:

"If it was my wife I'd tell the dude to rape my booty, but I'd probably poop my pants if in that situation. But before I expel my bowels in my boxers I'll clench that booty really tight. Right when he's about to stick his meat in I'll let that poop go out and push his %+%# or it'll explode with this massive mess catching him off guard. Then I'll grab whatever is closest to me, a lamp, pen, a magazine and defend myself and hopefully subdue him."

I remember this post.
The thread title was something like "would you let a bisexual robber rape you or your girl?"

http://niketalk.yuku.com/...house-vol-choices?page=1

 

[47539]

some guy replied to a thread asking what was something you thought was true but really you were just stupid, and a guy replied "girls pee out the butt" 40 TIMES. I went through like 4 pages wondering when it would stop lol.
link: http://niketalk.yuku.com/...diot?page=2#.Tp-F7ByQtAQ

 

[brocomeatme]

the hardest I've laughed was when someone made a thread about the man who had worms crawl out his butt

and than the first post was
"DAT BOY GOT

"

 

[cwrite78]

Originally Posted by ectheg

some guy replied to a thread asking what was something you thought was true but really you were just stupid, and a guy replied "girls pee out the butt" 40 TIMES. I went through like 4 pages wondering when it would stop lol.
link: http://niketalk.yuku.com/...diot?page=2#.Tp-F7ByQtAQ

he still holds the record

 

[rawex5]

Originally Posted by 17

whole thread was hilarious but this post had me in tears:

"If it was my wife I'd tell the dude to rape my booty, but I'd probably poop my pants if in that situation. But before I expel my bowels in my boxers I'll clench that booty really tight. Right when he's about to stick his meat in I'll let that poop go out and push his %+%# or it'll explode with this massive mess catching him off guard. Then I'll grab whatever is closest to me, a lamp, pen, a magazine and defend myself and hopefully subdue him."

I think I know who said that.

 

[damb itz me]

Some Nter talking about NBA2k8 saying "it's so realistic, that everytime Jason Kidd hits a free throw he walks off the court and punches his wife in the face".

Another Nter asking how to approach girls. Someone said just go up to her and say "Ayo ma, let me holla at dem buttcheeks".

There was a thread on the proper way to poop by standing on toilet seat and everybody on NT went to take #%@! and post results. One dude said "Oh god, I missed badly."

 

[needsomejays]

Originally Posted by Damb Itz Me

Some Nter talking about NBA2k8 saying "it's so realistic, that everytime Jason Kidd hits a free throw he walks off the court and punches his wife in the face".

sweet mother of god i just yell laughed

 

[canifly34]

"That's cornbread son"

 

[red is on nt]

When someone in the wrestling thread said, "I thought they were saying Chris Benoit was the rabbit wolverine."

 

[yo getoffmykickz]

"IRV GOTTI IN THE CLUB GETTIN TIPSY"

 

[951guero]

Kennnys response to Air Ant talking about his legs looking like squeezed hams
Thing was

 

[mecks]

Man. NT has to many quotables.

 

[jhustle23]

It was a picture of a guy wearing new Js and the guy had real hairy legs. And the post said something like " info on those wool calf sleeves?"

 

[jfmartimcdandruff]

there's wayy too much

 

[540jfan12]

Originally Posted by Damb Itz Me

Some Nter talking about NBA2k8 saying "it's so realistic, that everytime Jason Kidd hits a free throw he walks off the court and punches his wife in the face".

Another Nter asking how to approach girls. Someone said just go up to her and say "Ayo ma, let me holla at dem buttcheeks".

There was a thread on the proper way to poop by standing on toilet seat and everybody on NT went to take #%@! and post results. One dude said "Oh god, I missed badly."

I remember that JKidd quote.

I still think the Harlem Shake story is one of the funniest things I have ever read.