Funniest thing someone said/read on NT?

[IATT]

Originally Posted by JFMartiMcDandruff

there's wayy too much

this! so i'm just going go with recent ones


this thread had me: http://niketalk.com/topic/317684/Not-your-average-girl-problem-thread-Vol-update-pg-4

especially this reply:

Originally Posted by ThunderChunk69

create a facebook event

this had me rolling yesterday:

Originally Posted by Batman

Originally Posted by SEAN C0MBS

Originally Posted by Batman

another thread made about me,people on these forums love me.

puffy what up man? remember in '88 when i saved you from getting beat up in brooklyn? you never thanked me for that.

basically from page 20 on in this thread: http://niketalk.com/topic/315304/NFL-Week-3-In-Review-Additional-QOTW?page=20


and the whole KSteezy and Diego thing that went down in that one thread

 

[toast1985]

When dude was describing henzo shooting a basketball shot. Dude said that the ball didn't hit the rim, net or anything. http://niketalk.yuku.com/...st--prime-Update?page=11 Found it

Originally Posted by toast1985

Originally Posted by DaNiKeRhiNo

Originally Posted by Je Ne Sais Quoi


If you could make a God bleed, people would cease to believe in Him.

I still believe!!!

I never laughed so hard at post on NT. This paragraph had me in tears.

I'm literally in tears right now.

 

[jewseejay]

the funniest part about the dude walkin in on his baby moms is I know a dude something similar ACTUALLY happened to...

he and his shorty went to dif schools and he played bball n told her he couldnt make it for valentines weeekend cuz he had a game.... when in actuallity he was plannin a suprise visit... when homie showed up at her dorm with roses he passed her roomate n the hall/lounge area studying... didnt think anything of it and proceeded to the room where his girl was gettin her guts beat from a bball player at her own school

he says he then tackled dude off of her and was ina full on brawl with a naked dude. mad ppl called campus security who ended up escorting him from the grounds... then drove back 3 hrs home heartbroken

 

[young halo]

Originally Posted by ColdCity

cake saying fam was "cashmere" in the wale=divia thread

found it http://niketalk.yuku.com/...-Vol-Yes-I-m-Mad?page=16

This man is A Joke. Point Blank Period. I go in there hours before I even speak on his cashmere behavior and see you looking for a boys fb to send him a message telling him not to have event getting up with people on here because you're a lame. Every dude from both of the events in NYC got along and rocked with each other except you. You talking real outta character my man. So let me get this straight... first it was a rumor right, then you go in another thread and cop to it blaming the people who saw you prostituting yourself out. Buy you dinner? Fam you was following Moon around the bowling alley begging him for Happy Meal My G, of course this is in between the time you were whispering sweet nothings into Shorty Pop's ear... Who of course had just sucked someone off in the car And this didn't come from Mayor flames, I got real homies in NYC who was there and witnessed Moon turn around and bark on you "SON I'MA BUY YOU ONE SO YOU CAN LEAVE ME ALONE!" fam I know the entire story... But its a rumor tho... just like you try to give the allusion that you didn't fb message/dm boys asking how to get ({}) but you don't go as far denying it, you don't say it didn't happen because you know it did... And you know that I know that it did. I'ma Lame... I'm *+#*$ Made... but you go on twitter and send sublimes when we follow each other. I'm *+#*$ Made but I respond and @ you because I'm talking directly to you, I'm not dancing around anything... You got people hittin me up tellin me you hit them up telling them to tell me to calm down and that you're sublime was about me. But I'm *+#*$ made Tellin boy's you wish I was there so you could touch me... Fam in 4 years of college at SU you didn't touch a female what I look like being worried about you touching me? I went to school 3hrs away and had *#+%#$ from your University sucking me off my man, but you're right in the thick of it and didn't manage to get more than a hug, yet I'm supposed to take your tough new found courage talk serious? But Then Again You're Not Saying This To Me... You're Telling People Who Know You're A LAME ON MY DAUGHTERS LIFE I tweeted my response to you and had dudes from your city hit my phone saying "Say the word Cake and I'ma Handle That" My home girl said she'd slap the @*%% outta you for getting outta character like this... So you might be the one who should calm the %!@% down young man. Like Seriously Cut It Out! And Isn't Me Trying To Swag On You I'm just showing you how you manage to make yourself look more and more LAME every time you pull this. I'm no tough guy but I'm not the one for you to try to score points on at all fam trust me

i remember that. ether......
  

 

[coldcity]

Originally Posted by toast1985

When dude was describing henzo shooting a basketball shot. Dude said that the ball didn't hit the rim, net or anything. http://niketalk.yuku.com/...st--prime-Update?page=11 Found it

Originally Posted by toast1985

Originally Posted by DaNiKeRhiNo

I never laughed so hard at post on NT. This paragraph had me in tears.

I'm literally in tears right now.

keithsweatsjordans wrote:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------I once played a game of 5v5 basketball with Henz0 on the opposing team (he was the star player of course). Remarkably, my team was winning by 4 with 3 seconds left in the game. We got this right? Wrong. Henz0 grabs the inbound, races with MINDBOTTLING speed down the court. I put the D on em like he was Esther Baxter dripping with KY Jelly (pause), hardest D I've ever placed upon someone. Less then a second left at this point and now I'm feeling like there's nothing they nor Henz0 can do to win this. Then I looked into his eyes and an unexplainable feeling came over me; best described as a feeling of awe, fear, and disgust all in one. He pulls up ever so gracefully, and shot. The ball literally went through the hoop without touching ANYTHING. No rim, no net, no air. NOTHING. The ref awarded him 5 points for the shot and we lost. As he walked off the court with a swagger that I can't even begin to describe, I noticed a single drop of his sweat hit the floor. I ran as quickly as I could to recover it before it evaporated into oblivion, but alas, by the time I reached it there was already a massive throng of people around it. To this day, I NEVER touch a ball of any sort without first raising my head to the sky and thanking Henz0 for allowing me to do so.

 

[Humbled]

Originally Posted by offbad

there was the story of a computer repair guy who caught a burglar trying to jack his yaris

what?! 

 

[return of the mac]

[color= rgb(102, 0, 153)]It was a thread about a ****** and some NTer said something about it riding him and it's meat bouncing off his chest at the same time.....[/color]

[color= rgb(102, 0, 153)] x [/color]

 

[rawex5]

Originally Posted by whywesteppin

This man changed my life. I was on the streets without a dollar to my name, living off scraps, when Peep Game came walking down the street I was going to call home for the night.
He took me in, gave me a hot dinner -- my first in weeks -- and a bed. It wasn't the greatest bed, mind you, but it was a bed. The next day, he had one of his suits hanging on my door and a list of job centers for me to try. It wasn't easy but after a couple months I had a steady job and a side job, enough so I could pay him a little bit to cover my room. But he wouldn't accept it.

This man's generosity continued to grow over the years I spent in his home. He let me sleep with his wife... and his daughter. I got his wife pregnant. His wife soon thereafter left him. When I finally had my life together, I wanted to buy a new house to live in (with my pregnant girlfriend and step-daughter). He let me take a mortgage out against the value of his house. The impending market crash meant that they foreclosed on his home, which -- bless his heart -- allowed me to pay off my house. Now he is living on the streets. I drive by his corner every morning to laugh.

My boy whywesteppin in the what do you think of the poster above you thread.

 

[coldcity]

oh damn

 

[canifly34]

Originally Posted by RaWeX05

Originally Posted by whywesteppin

This man changed my life. I was on the streets without a dollar to my name, living off scraps, when Peep Game came walking down the street I was going to call home for the night.
He took me in, gave me a hot dinner -- my first in weeks -- and a bed. It wasn't the greatest bed, mind you, but it was a bed. The next day, he had one of his suits hanging on my door and a list of job centers for me to try. It wasn't easy but after a couple months I had a steady job and a side job, enough so I could pay him a little bit to cover my room. But he wouldn't accept it.

This man's generosity continued to grow over the years I spent in his home. He let me sleep with his wife... and his daughter. I got his wife pregnant. His wife soon thereafter left him. When I finally had my life together, I wanted to buy a new house to live in (with my pregnant girlfriend and step-daughter). He let me take a mortgage out against the value of his house. The impending market crash meant that they foreclosed on his home, which -- bless his heart -- allowed me to pay off my house. Now he is living on the streets. I drive by his corner every morning to laugh.

My boy whywesteppin in the what do you think of the poster above you thread.

I clearly remember this one too

I couldn't contain myself

 

[caerus]

Originally Posted by needsomejays

Originally Posted by Lakersfan1

One of the best threads ever; My supplement Review: Extenze http://niketalk.com/topic...iew-ExtenZe-12-20?page=4
"I ain't tryna get hooked on the performance enhancers though - *!*% around and have a shortie puttin' a asteriks next to my name in her phone and !+%#...

" My **** is long, but I want it to be thicker. Before, it was Tayshaun Prince. Thanks to Extenze, it's LeBron James now."

"no worries they sell this stuff at the corner stores...habibi don't care if you buy extenze or not"

"Now this %@@% right here my +%+%$...this %@@% right here will have you busting all over $%%!#*...having her look like she got spooged on like the ending of a gang-bang scene. My lady has BANNED me from using this because it made me too hard and aggressive. Not good for you dudes who go raw like a pound of ground beef...cause it makes you fertile too."

 

this one is also from a thread on extenze

"I took some extenze once and it had my thang harder than trying to explain the color purple to a blind man. it just makes you feel like a beast....I had on some warm up pants and the wind blew..i almost busted off."

LMAOOOOOOOOOO yo my stomach hurts man

I cant breeve
  

 

[airvandal180]

I think "headchog" comes to mind

 

[fourreal]

Originally Posted by Damb Itz Me

Some Nter talking about NBA2k8 saying "it's so realistic, that everytime Jason Kidd hits a free throw he walks off the court and punches his wife in the face".

Another Nter asking how to approach girls. Someone said just go up to her and say "Ayo ma, let me holla at dem buttcheeks".

There was a thread on the proper way to poop by standing on toilet seat and everybody on NT went to take #%@! and post results. One dude said "Oh god, I missed badly."

i remember these 2 had me rolling hard

 

[prymone]

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by Elpablo21

Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that’s where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and $#!%.

The thing is he also called out another NTer saying he was a tiny troll door

  

 

[space doodoo pistols]

... who washed a meat for IIIs, and apparently told people about it?

 

[2o6]

When THB put my name on a bullet. first time i ever cried from laughter i swear.


and how wasnt the "dirty a big dude" thread mentioned yet?

 

[james earl zones]

Originally Posted by 2o6

When THB put my name on a bullet. first time i ever cried from laughter i swear.


and how wasnt the "dirty a big dude" thread mentioned yet?

I've had this pic for a MINUTE, this was at you?

God damn I miss HT.

 

[2o6]

Originally Posted by James Earl Zones

Originally Posted by 2o6

When THB put my name on a bullet. first time i ever cried from laughter i swear.


and how wasnt the "dirty a big dude" thread mentioned yet?

I've had this pic for a MINUTE, this was at you?

God damn I miss HT.

nah mine was cq BUT OMG

I REMEMBER THAT THREAD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH





anyone remember when shortypop was found in espos at esco's ?

 

[MPLS612]

Originally Posted by itsaboutthattime

Originally Posted by JFMartiMcDandruff

there's wayy too much

this! so i'm just going go with recent ones


this thread had me: http://niketalk.com/topic/317684/Not-your-average-girl-problem-thread-Vol-update-pg-4

especially this reply:

Originally Posted by ThunderChunk69

create a facebook event

this had me rolling yesterday:

Originally Posted by Batman

Originally Posted by SEAN C0MBS

puffy what up man? remember in '88 when i saved you from getting beat up in brooklyn? you never thanked me for that.

basically from page 20 on in this thread: http://niketalk.com/topic/315304/NFL-Week-3-In-Review-Additional-QOTW?page=20

NT HOF

 

[james earl zones]

Originally Posted by 2o6

Originally Posted by James Earl Zones

Originally Posted by 2o6

When THB put my name on a bullet. first time i ever cried from laughter i swear.


and how wasnt the "dirty a big dude" thread mentioned yet?

I've had this pic for a MINUTE, this was at you?

God damn I miss HT.

nah mine was cq BUT OMG

I REMEMBER THAT THREAD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH





anyone remember when shortypop was found in espos at esco's ?

 

[fourreal]

anybody remember this thread son put a gps on a random #@% girl car and actually stalked her
http://niketalk.com/reply...date-PICS#reply-11757190

 

[witnessmycalm21]

A+ Thread

too many to quote.

Too many to mention

 

[luong1209]

Originally Posted by FourReal

anybody remember this thread son put a gps on a random #@% girl car and actually stalked her
http://niketalk.com/reply...date-PICS#reply-11757190

That was less than a month ago...NT remembers all.

 

[servechilled81]

I would have to be a line from one of Kerry's epic stories

 

[angryostrich]

---

---

Wouldn't you poke the baby? I'm cool on that

Beat while baby domes you up. Indepthcion

"...Surely it starts off w/ fapping on cam for 2g's, but before you know it, you'd be jerking two other dudes off, and getting blasted in the face for 5k."