How do I go about apologizing to someone I was a douche to in middle school? (long read)

[heliumclinton]

I am the black dude who punched you in the face in the lunch line. I apologize for getting into a fight with you. I've felt ashamed of what I did to you for many years now. I should have stuck up for you in that situation, but I was too cowardly to do that. I fully support all members of the lgbt community.

You do know that is the gay equivalency of, "I have a few black friends. I am no racist."

No it's not

 

[keano]

Really good you are trying to change the mistakes you made. PROPS to you

 

[scarsorscabs]

Nice of you to even want to make amends, there are plenty of people who see no error in their ways...it at least shows you have a conscience and you learned from it.

The message could've been written better but not everyone has a way with words and the basic gesture of saying sorry is all that matters. It's sad to read that this stuff and I'm sure most of it had to do with his family, caused him to harm himself. I don't get how some people can so easily say "go kill yourself" and **** like that to people like it's a joke and then just react like they need to toughen up. Unfortunately, not everyone is tough and it does affect some people.

Luckily I wasn't ever someone who bullied anyone else nor was I bullied or picked on. Yeah, we made jokes but never made anyone a target in order to try to break them down. If I had been in that position, I would definitely want to make it right too. I couldn't imagine hearing I had picked on a kid who eventually committed suicide though.

 

[shoefreakbaby]

No it's not

Yes it is




"I would like to make it up to you in any way that I can"

Pepper that angus papi.


Now I see why you are so interested in the gay life, you feel bad

He will forgive and it will mean a lot more than you will ever know.

I just really wish you would have done it all those years ago.
12,13,14,15 years know what they are doing is wrong we've all got that gut feeling some just choose to ignore it.






P.S he knew you was soft thats why he decked you and not your friends

 

[albooboo5]

 

No it's not

Yes it is

 

No it really isn't. Him acknowledging the error of his way and apologizing is not the same as making an excuse. 

Why are you agreeing with DC anyway? 

 

[shoefreakbaby]

No it really isn't. Him acknowledging the error of his way and apologizing is not the same as making an excuse. 

Why are you agreeing with DC anyway? 

No DC said him mentioning that he supports the LGBT community is like a white person saying " I have a black friend Im not racist" and it is true.
I can agree with DC when he is right.


Even if IYen wasnt a LGBT supporter he could still be sincerely sorry for what he did, he didnt really have to mention that.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Yea I didn't even understand why he would throw that in there. "I fully support the LGBT community." If that doesn't sound like some politician's speech Who puts that in a personal letter?

 

[albooboo5]

So him saying that he realizes that there is nothing wrong with it is the same as making an excuse? FYI the equivalent would be I am not homophobic I have gay friends. 

 

[DCAllAfrican]

So him saying that he realizes that there is nothing wrong with it is the same as making an excuse? FYI the equivalent would be I am not homophobic I have gay friends. 

Just forget it man. You clearly aren't getting what I was saying. Leave it alone

 

[albooboo5]

Yea I didn't even understand why he would throw that in there. "I fully support the LGBT community." If that doesn't sound like some politician's speech

Who puts that in a personal letter?

Supporter doesn't mean he is a active participant in the lifestyle. You can support something without actually being from that certain demographic. All he is saying is he understands now that there is nothing wrong with being gay. 

 

[kickstart]

Leave it alone. Unless you're on your deathbed trying to right your wrongs--let it go.

*Didn't fully read.

 

[albooboo5]

 

So him saying that he realizes that there is nothing wrong with it is the same as making an excuse? FYI the equivalent would be I am not homophobic I have gay friends. 

Just forget it man. You clearly aren't getting what I was saying. Leave it alone

No I understood the point you were trying to make, it just isn't true. It's ok I should be use to it. Rarely do you make sense.

 

[shoefreakbaby]

If I wanted to dissect the apology then yes him saying that there is "nothing wrong with it" can be seen as an excuse.



Im sure the guy wont read it like that but it sort of like saying "i did it because I thought it was wrong to be gay"
as oppose to "I was a complete and total jerk who had hate in my heart for no reason"
A lot of people think being gay is wrong, you dont see them punching people in the face.
I have gay friends=I support the LGBT community





But it doesnt matter Im sure he will see it as sincere because it is sincere, I dont want to derail the thread.

 

[albooboo5]

If I wanted to dissect the apology then yes him saying that there is "nothing wrong with it" can be seen as an excuse.



Im sure the guy wont read it like that but it sort of like saying "i did it because I thought it was wrong to be gay"
as oppose to "I was a complete and total jerk who had hate in my heart for no reason"
A lot of people think being gay is wrong, you dont see them punching people in the face.
I have gay friends=I support the LGBT community





But it doesnt matter Im sure he will see it as sincere because it is sincere, I dont want to derail the thread.

It is the exact opposite of an excuse. Making a statement to deny guilt or fault is an excuse. Him accepting all wrong doing is just that.

The second part of your statement is semantics. 

 

[jay6jay]

It's going to be him that interprets the email,it could have been done better but buddy will be content that he even reached out.


Good job Iyen

 

[alp]

I think you should just let bygones be bygones. No need to apologize to the kid, it aint like ur going to be best friends or something. Little kids do stupid things, no need to apologize for something you did to someone at that age. If that was the case id be apologizing to half of my graduating class

 

[alp]

I think you should just let bygones be bygones. No need to apologize to the kid, it aint like ur going to be best friends or something. Little kids do stupid things, no need to apologize for something you did to someone at that age. If that was the case id be apologizing to half of my graduating class

forget my previous message, didn't read that u already went ahead and apologized

 

[heliumclinton]

[quote name="AlBooBoo5" url="/t/570300/how-do-i-go-about-apologizing-to-someone-i-was-a-douche-to-in-middle-school-long-read/30#post_18774064" FYI the equivalent would be I am not homophobic I have gay friends. 
[/quote]

thank you

dude said "I support LGBT = I have black friends" what

 

[cliffordsmith]

Lets not forget iYEN admitted to being a fan of ****** porn. 

But back to the topic.

Um i really dont think that was nessacary a simple "whats up, hows life been?" would of sufficed. You went too hard on the letter as if your gay and you understand his pain. Let it go.... he prolly going to hit you with the "what? black guy? i dont remember a black guy" 

 

[|A-Man|]

^Word I aint forget that

Explains that gay guilt. Bullies gay kid in school, bully ends up gay later in life.

Inbox Huey freeman on here. Either him or Deuce King should have good advise in what to message him going further

 

[Bobby Layne]

Props to you for apologizing.

But IIRC didn't you post in that ****** appreciation thread, that this kid ended up becoming a ****** or was a ****** when you punched him?  I could be wrong but I remember you posting about this story before. 

 

[jay6jay]

He already said sorry why are you guys telling him not to. A yo mama joke is one thing punching getting to a fight because the person is gay is another thing.

Who knows what else that kid was dealing with at that time. Iyen owes him an apology and he gave it.


Mad respect





Now Only if you yourself could just some out of the closet

 

[iYen]

 
Props to you for apologizing.

But IIRC didn't you post in that ****** appreciation thread, that this kid ended up becoming a ****** or was a ****** when you punched him?  I could be wrong but I remember you posting about this story before. 

What I meant was that he was more than just "gay." 

Just to give you an example. In various pix of his, he has more makeup on than the person in this pic.

 

No it's not

Yes it is




"I would like to make it up to you in any way that I can"

Pepper that angus papi.


Now I see why you are so interested in the gay life, you feel bad

He will forgive and it will mean a lot more than you will ever know.

I just really wish you would have done it all those years ago.
12,13,14,15 years know what they are doing is wrong we've all got that gut feeling some just choose to ignore it.






P.S he knew you was soft thats why he decked you and not your friends

I added that in there so he would know that I now know that there is nothing wrong with anyone who is a member of the lgbt community.

My city is very homophobic, so I thought that including that would make my apology "better."

But damn, why are you guys grading my apology like it's a term paper?

DC is on my block list, so that dude can kick rocks.

Last but not least, here's his reply to my apology.

 Hey their! You don't need to feel bad or apoligive. Whats in the past is in the past. No need to dwell and you where right I was and still am a fabulous homosexaul and peoples opinions on my lifestyle are just meaningless words

Reading this felt good. This guy is strong for being able to not let the BS that he had to put up with in school and at home get to him.

I'm REALLY!!! glad that this dude is in a better place and I'm happy for him.

edit:

Here's my reply to his reply.

 I'm so glad that you are in a much place than you were in junior high. I'm happy for you. You are a strong person.
I read one of your old blog posts that was titled "growing up gay."
Reading that gave me much more insight into the bull.... that you had to put up with. I'm sorry that I contributed to you having to deal with that ....

If you're down to grab to a bite to eat or some boba tea, I'm down.

 

[delete1234]

Wow. Nothing against gay people. If you gay that's what's up bit dressing/acting like a woman is a whole different ball game

 

[DCAllAfrican]

That man said

Hey their!

If you're down to grab to a bite to eat or some boba tea, I'm down.

Unintentional comedy in that line