How to deal with a breakup during a tough time

[crook]

My gf broke up with me about 1.5 months ago and I'm having a hard time coping. The thing is that I've read all about the things you're supposed to do to help yourself move on (ie. surround yourself with a good support network, go out with friends, fill your spare time with fun things, learn to love yourself).

However, my big problem is that I just started 3rd year of dental school which is an absolute nightmare (essentially no free time whatsoever) and I was already having some doubts about this career path prior to this point. There is just so much work, so much stress, school is a straight 8-5 everyday no breaks, and often I end up staying at school pretty late (like 9pm) to finish lab projects, then I go home and have to try to cram some studying in. This on its own has got me quite down and stressed out. Clearly no free time to enjoy myself and be happy. I'm surrounded by equally stressed out people in school who are not any help. In fact they just add to the stress.

My close friends are all in another city (with whom I've somewhat drifted anyway since coming here for school). And so I find myself just missing my ex all the time and thinking about her because I'm in such a downer of a situation.

NT, what can I do to try to keep my head up through this period? Any suggestions?

 

[salviboy7]

Sports, Xbox and most important of all TIME.

 

[fulltech]

pick up hobbies, OP
-drawing
-playing music
-working out in the gym
-playing video games

if you have time to go on NT, you have time to get a hobby

 

[uptownsdotnetstacky]

Bro, you're in $$@$%%+ dental school....meaning its no reason you can't find a bad woman that wants her cavity filled. You have to go through rough %@!*, that's life. What's important is that you have a future ahead of you if you can keep your head on straight and stop focusing on all the negatives of a good situation. You know that you don't have the time to be in a relationship, so in your free time just have fun and enjoy life....NOW GO OUT THERE AND BE SOMEBODY

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

You really need to focus on the big picture. This is a test of determination. If you can see yourself happy with your profession later on in life, then the sacrifice(s)/struggle(s) your going through now are worth it.

If not then you need to make a decision with how you want to approach your future if not sticking with dental school.

As for the ex...idk why you guys broke up...but if it was her fault then I think your letting the pressures of school, the distance from friends, and the social isolation you feel where you live right now impact your life too much because your focusing on them too much.

Free time is sometimes overrated. It's always better to pursue something of worth...trust me.

An ex is an ex...and even though you probably think she's the one for you, it's more likely theirs a better girl out there for you...but if I was in your situation a girl would be the least of my concerns. I would learn as much as I need to about my field so that my future prospects look better.

Don't short sell yourself.

People often quit something right before they achieve it because that last stretch is the hardest part.

 

[p mac one]

Originally Posted by UptownsDotNetStacky

Bro, you're in $$@$%%+ dental school....meaning its no reason you can't find a bad woman that wants her cavity filled.

It's true though. Find yourself a study partner

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by P MAC ONE

Originally Posted by UptownsDotNetStacky

Bro, you're in $$@$%%+ dental school....meaning its no reason you can't find a bad woman that wants her cavity filled.

It's true though. Find yourself a study partner

THIS.
I know a BUNCH of people in Med, Dental, Law, Pharm, and other professional schools that STAY getting ({})....OP, its rough right now, but as soon as you tell a chick that you're in dental school...EASY slide my man.

You're winning in life right now, so you better start acting like it. 

These chicks need to know that YOURE busy and that to mess with you, they've got to conform to YOUR schedule. 

YOU are the treasure in this game of life. Youre about to have an awesome job with amazing income. You better start treating the game like you have it in the bag. 

Break-ups are tough but you need to see yourself as the asset that you really are. 

 

[jayhood23]

You'll make it through, bang randoms in your free time and you're set

 

[soltheman]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

Originally Posted by P MAC ONE

Originally Posted by UptownsDotNetStacky

Bro, you're in $$@$%%+ dental school....meaning its no reason you can't find a bad woman that wants her cavity filled.

It's true though. Find yourself a study partner

THIS.
I know a BUNCH of people in Med, Dental, Law, Pharm, and other professional schools that STAY getting ({})....OP, its rough right now, but as soon as you tell a chick that you're in dental school...EASY slide my man.

You're winning in life right now, so you better start acting like it. 

These chicks need to know that YOURE busy and that to mess with you, they've got to conform to YOUR schedule. 

YOU are the treasure in this game of life. Youre about to have an awesome job with amazing income. You better start treating the game like you have it in the bag. 

Break-ups are tough but you need to see yourself as the asset that you really are. 

word. You tell a chick you're busy, and they can see that, they'll break their backs trying to make sure they're your #1. They'll be offering to leave after you fill their cavity because they know you got things to do.

 

[mercutio]

Stay up dude. Too often, when people are in relationships that end, they feel that their identity is somewhat linked to that person and, as a result, end up feeling like terrible until they get back in touch with themselves. You've got a lot of things going for you and right now your perspective is focusing on the little things that are bringing you down.

Look at all the things you have going for you and not what you don't have and put a smile on that face. You're healthy. You're in your third year and nearly finished with school. You're knocking on the door and waiting to step into a very lucrative and fulfilling profession, you should hold your head up based on that. There will be more loves in your future and more people to meet. Look within yourself for why you should be happy and don't wallow. Things will get better.

 

[ins]

I woke up this morning like, +!*% you. I'm looking for a bad chick. Only took 5 days. I feel swell.

 

[benssick]

Originally Posted by SalviBoy7

Sports, Xbox and most important of all TIME.

this is what i did

smoke some too

 

[will068]

Focus on getting better. It'll take a lot of mental toughness and it could be mentally exhausting, but you gotta force yourself to think differently and concentrate at it.

 

[urn0tlike]

Had a friend that went through this. Me and another one of my boys got him through it. We would call him constantly to come and chill, even when he wasn up for it. 100% need a friend to help pull you through. Gotta get your mind off of it.

 

[cbtcguru]

I was with my ex for 4yrs when we broke up & I was going through it bad. I guess tired of my down & out attitude my dad pulls me aside for a chat and his last words of the convo
"you're a young, nice looking guy with a looking with a lot going for yourself and your d!@k still works. you'll be fine. you're not the first and you won't be the last"

At the time i thought %@#? I was expecting him to say some great philosophical crap or give me some step by step tips to get over her but looking back at it now he was absolutely right.

 

[160jordansdeep]

Self-medicate

 

[crook]

thanks for all the advice guys, it's really helping me. any more would be appreciated.

 

[sneakerlaw]

Take some time to see a counselor or psychiatrist.  You may be undergoing some mild depression.  It actually helps to speak to someone who can help you develop strategies to cope.  If Tony Soprano can do it, so can you.  Hang in there, I am sure it will all turn out fine.

 

[crook]

Originally Posted by SneakerLaw

Take some time to see a counselor or psychiatrist.  You may be undergoing some mild depression.  It actually helps to speak to someone who can help you develop strategies to cope.  If Tony Soprano can do it, so can you.  Hang in there, I am sure it will all turn out fine.

I think this is a good idea, I might do that

 

[crook]

Originally Posted by GrimlocK

You really need to focus on the big picture. This is a test of determination. If you can see yourself happy with your profession later on in life, then the sacrifice(s)/struggle(s) your going through now are worth it.

If not then you need to make a decision with how you want to approach your future if not sticking with dental school.

As for the ex...idk why you guys broke up...but if it was her fault then I think your letting the pressures of school, the distance from friends, and the social isolation you feel where you live right now impact your life too much because your focusing on them too much.

Free time is sometimes overrated. It's always better to pursue something of worth...trust me.

An ex is an ex...and even though you probably think she's the one for you, it's more likely theirs a better girl out there for you...but if I was in your situation a girl would be the least of my concerns. I would learn as much as I need to about my field so that my future prospects look better.

Don't short sell yourself.

People often quit something right before they achieve it because that last stretch is the hardest part.

Yeah, I really do feel like this is one of those moments that'll define me aka make or break me depending on how I approach it. I'll share some more details on the ex later when I have time, but lets just say (as wrong as I think I will eventually come to realize I am) that I think she really was the one (I know, one-itis, plenty more fish in the sea, if she was the one I was meant to be with she wouldn't have broken up with me) but I do think it'll be hard to find not only a girl with similar/better qualities as an individual but also someone with whom I could share so much chemistry.

 

[swagger2much4you]

 

[pololax]

Originally Posted by Crook

Originally Posted by GrimlocK

You really need to focus on the big picture. This is a test of determination. If you can see yourself happy with your profession later on in life, then the sacrifice(s)/struggle(s) your going through now are worth it.

If not then you need to make a decision with how you want to approach your future if not sticking with dental school.

As for the ex...idk why you guys broke up...but if it was her fault then I think your letting the pressures of school, the distance from friends, and the social isolation you feel where you live right now impact your life too much because your focusing on them too much.

Free time is sometimes overrated. It's always better to pursue something of worth...trust me.

An ex is an ex...and even though you probably think she's the one for you, it's more likely theirs a better girl out there for you...but if I was in your situation a girl would be the least of my concerns. I would learn as much as I need to about my field so that my future prospects look better.

Don't short sell yourself.

People often quit something right before they achieve it because that last stretch is the hardest part.

Yeah, I really do feel like this is one of those moments that'll define me aka make or break me depending on how I approach it. I'll share some more details on the ex later when I have time, but lets just say (as wrong as I think I will eventually come to realize I am) that I think she really was the one (I know, one-itis, plenty more fish in the sea, if she was the one I was meant to be with she wouldn't have broken up with me) but I do think it'll be hard to find not only a girl with similar/better qualities as an individual but also someone with whom I could share so much chemistry.

  I was in the same boat. I don't know why she broke up with you, and to be honest I don't know why mine broke up with me. She said it wasn't working because of her schedule and my schedule and the fact that she was still in school etc. Fast  foward, she is now with someone who I believe is A LOT further away. I made the mistake of being there for her when we first split up and she did lead me into believing that maybe it would work out in the end. But obviously it didn't.

I felt the same way about her. I still think that I won't find someone better than her. However, there have been girls before her that I said the same thing about, and I ended moving on. Maybe this time, I'll find someone even better than my last.

What's difficult is I think we lost that sense of communication from being far away. It was difficult but I was very unhappy at the time and extremely tense and stressed. She asked me about it a few times and said that if I wasn't happy with myself ,how could she be happy. I don't blame her for leaving. I've also been anxious, stressed and tense and that turns girls away. Like I said I don't know if that's it.

One thing I will say is, I know my ex has moved on and I still think about her and I can't, and you can't think about your ex either. We think about the good times and we think about where we went wrong and if we did something different would it have been a different outcome. I'm starting to tell myself, if my ex really wasn't happy cause I was unhappy, then she obviously wasn't the one cause she wasn't there to stand tall by me when I needed someone to stand tall with me.

It sucks, but it's life.

 

[bboi4lif3]

Originally Posted by JayHood23

You'll make it through, bang randoms in your free time and you're set

 

[ill steelo]

The median expected salary for a typical Dentist in the United States is $134,014


http://www1.salary.com/Dentist-salary.html

Women should be the least of your worries OP. Focus on your studies, and you'll have more women than you can handle.

 

[shatterkneesinc]

talk to god