How Would YOU Feel If Your Wife Didnt Take Your Last Name And.....

[janitor]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

I will be real, I would have a problem with it then I would ask myself why. Then I would realize that I don't know why I would have a problem with it. Then I would realize that I shouldn't have a problem with it. It is just a name. So I say, I don't care.

That's some good honesty right there.

I seriously don't see why so many people are throwing a fit over this, saying they'd end the relationship/wouldn't get married and all that nonsense. How about the focus be on the relationship itself, and not stew over some petty @!+%%$*!? If something as small as what name your wife goes by is an absolute deal-breaker, maybe the two of you shouldn't be married in the first place.

 

[hazeleyed honey]

I am not taking my husband's last name. You also have to deal with all the papers and all that crap. Why go through it? In my culture, women keep their last name.

 

[dakid23]

I want her to change her name... just to piss off her pops. 

 

[|A-Man|]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

I am not taking my husband's last name. You also have to deal with all the papers and all that crap. Why go through it? In my culture, women keep their last name.

Hey I'll do the paper work for you baby. No fuss.












But we aint living in Canada. Blee dat.

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by ATGD7154xBBxMZ

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

I am not taking my husband's last name. You also have to deal with all the papers and all that crap. Why go through it? In my culture, women keep their last name.

Hey I'll do the paper work for you baby. No fuss.












But we aint living in Canada. Blee dat.

Free health care >* Yes, Canada it'll always be....aannndddd, I am still keeping my last name. 

 

[oo206oo]

Forgive my ignorance and lack of worldly cultural knowledge, but which cultures generally keep the womens' name?

 

[SHERLOCK87]

Nope, not happening. She taking the name for sure.
And of course this will have already be discussed.

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by oo206oo

Forgive my ignorance and lack of worldly cultural knowledge, but which cultures generally keep the womens' name?

I am of Palestinian descent, hence of Arab ethnicity. I know that in some Asian and Middle Eastern countries, the tradition is for the woman to keep her maiden name. It goes back to tribal reasons and also to keep the lineage of the family unit (also when it comes to issues of inheritance). The culture values the identity of the family. In Middle Eastern families, even if you adopt a child, it keep's its biological father's last name. Also in the culture, for a woman to give up her name, it is kind of like giving up your identity, ownership, and family roots. Also, in Middle Eastern culture, families used to be born into tribes. Tribal factions in the culture are important to this day. The family name is related to the tribe of the individual. You cannot simply change tribes by marriage. You are born in a tribe, you belong to it and die within your tribe.  
I think it is just a Western thing to take the husband's last name. 

 

[sfc415]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by oo206oo

Forgive my ignorance and lack of worldly cultural knowledge, but which cultures generally keep the womens' name?

I am of Palestinian descent, hence of Arab ethnicity. I know that in some Asian and Middle Eastern countries, the tradition is for the woman to keep her maiden name. It goes back to tribal reasons and also to keep the lineage of the family unit (also when it comes to issues of inheritance). The culture values the identity of the family. In Middle Eastern families, even if you adopt a child, it keep's its biological father's last name. Also in the culture, for a woman to give up her name, it is kind of like giving up your identity, ownership, and family roots. Also, in Middle Eastern culture, families used to be born into tribes. Tribal factions in the culture are important to this day. The family name is related to the tribe of the individual. You cannot simply change tribes by marriage. You are born in a tribe, you belong to it and die within your tribe.  
I think it is just a Western thing to take the husband's last name. 

Like I said earlier, in Spanish/Catalan/Portuguese/Latino culture the woman doesn't change name either, but it's somewhat different because each person has 2 last names.

I still don't get why it's such a huge deal to some of you. How does it change anything in your family interactions? Your kids are gonna have your last name no matter what, so in the end you still "win"

 

[hazeleyed honey]

SFC415 wrote:

Like I said earlier, in Spanish/Catalan/Portuguese/Latino culture the woman doesn't change name either, but it's somewhat different because each person has 2 last names.


The husband takes her last name too? 

 

[big j 33]

I'd probably be annoyed at first, but I wouldn't call off the wedding and break up. I couldn't tell you why it's done other than "tradition", so I really wouldn't be that upset.

 

[cs02132]

my mom never changed her last name but me and my brother have my dads last name. She is from Chile though and my grandmother had a different last name than she does

 

[|A-Man|]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by ATGD7154xBBxMZ

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

I am not taking my husband's last name. You also have to deal with all the papers and all that crap. Why go through it? In my culture, women keep their last name.

Hey I'll do the paper work for you baby. No fuss.












But we aint living in Canada. Blee dat.

Free health care >* Yes, Canada it'll always be....aannndddd, I am still keeping my last name. 

Nah, I don't think this can work out anymore Dima. You've changed.

 

[sfc415]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

SFC415 wrote:

Like I said earlier, in Spanish/Catalan/Portuguese/Latino culture the woman doesn't change name either, but it's somewhat different because each person has 2 last names.


The husband takes her last name too? 


Let's say the man's name is Jose Almunia Hernandez, and the woman's name is Maria Marquez Fernandez (sorry for all the typical names, I just threw them together so no one looks up my fam/friends on facebook

)

None of the names change after marriage. The first last name (Almunia/Marquez) is each person's paternal last name, while the second (Hernandez/Fernandez) are their maternal last names.

Then the kid's name is gonna be _______ Almunia Marquez. It's kind of weird but it's cool at the same time cause it respects the ancestry of both parents.

Sometimes it's too much to write though, so over here in the US they might be just Jose Almunia and Maria Marquez (that's how they're referred to in short anyways. for example the soccer player Xavier Hernández i Creus is just referred to as Xavi Hernandez)

 

[ironchef]

Originally Posted by oo206oo

Forgive my ignorance and lack of worldly cultural knowledge, but which cultures generally keep the womens' name?

Italian

 

[sfc415]

Originally Posted by IronChef

Originally Posted by oo206oo

Forgive my ignorance and lack of worldly cultural knowledge, but which cultures generally keep the womens' name?

Italian

Forgot to mention Italian too, but their naming system is much less complicated than Spanish

It's pretty much Anglo-Saxonish culture that determined the "take your husband's last name" tradition in many parts of the world

 

[torotrigger]

Originally Posted by mholmes87

Nope, not happening. She taking the name for sure.
And of course this will have  has already be discussed.

*corrected 
/shes coming to terms with this

 

[41239]

Originally Posted by 18th letter

Originally Posted by omgitswes

Wedding would be called off.

Basically. A woman should take pride in taking her husbands name, and if she doesn't there's a problem with that.

I understand if you're famous or your name is famous and you do the hyphenated thing, otherwise if you don't take his name, you are a sack of crap of a human.

shkurt, no @%#*%, famous people are not immune to changing their last name so stop that bull

honestly thats one reason why i dont want to get married, i feel like the woman WILL take my last name, but at the same time i feel like they lose something, like my friend just got married and its so weird because i call most people by their last name and i keep messin it up because shes not the same last name anymore

 

[toast1985]

Very interesting topic for me. I'm basically an Nigerian-American male, raises by an African-American Mother. So I've always identified with American culture, however my first and last name is Nigerian. So unless I marry a Nigerian, its going to be tough for her to deal with. My girl now has already expressed her displeasure with this. Not too sure how easy its going to be for a random Erica, Jasmine, or Tonya to accept "Ashiboga"

, or something of the sort

 

[Peep Game]

Originally Posted by scshift

I'd rather have hers to mix things up

Welcome back

 

 

[Peep Game]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by ATGD7154xBBxMZ

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

I am not taking my husband's last name. You also have to deal with all the papers and all that crap. Why go through it? In my culture, women keep their last name.

Hey I'll do the paper work for you baby. No fuss.












But we aint living in Canada. Blee dat.

Free health care >* Yes, Canada it'll always be....aannndddd, I am still keeping my last name. 

It's all good

 

 

[sfc415]

Originally Posted by toast1985

Very interesting topic for me. I'm basically an Nigerian-American male, raises by an African-American Mother. So I've always identified with American culture, however my first and last name is Nigerian. So unless I marry a Nigerian, its going to be tough for her to deal with. My girl now has already expressed her displeasure with this. Not too sure how easy its going to be for a random Erica, Jasmine, or Tonya to accept "Ashiboga"

, or something of the sort

My friend is an Indian dude and is from the southern part of the country where they have huge @#$ names. His last name is Balasubramanium and his girlfriend's name is Alexandra. My friend already struggles writing his entire name on forms, and his first name is only a few letters long. NO IDEA how she's gonna fit her name on any form if they ever get married

 

[seasoned vet]

...been married 7 years and technically my wife didnt take my last name. come at me

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by toast1985

Very interesting topic for me. I'm basically an Nigerian-American male, raises by an African-American Mother. So I've always identified with American culture, however my first and last name is Nigerian. So unless I marry a Nigerian, its going to be tough for her to deal with. My girl now has already expressed her displeasure with this. Not too sure how easy its going to be for a random Erica, Jasmine, or Tonya to accept "Ashiboga"

, or something of the sort

i'd have no problems w/it

 

[jdi23]

Me and my girl are gonna go the hyphenated route and our kids will have my last name. The thing is that her name with my name sounds like a non-profit tree huggers organization.