In A Mass Knife Fight Between Every American President, Who Would Win And Why?

[mplsdunk]

lincoln, dude has too much reach you wouldnt be able to get close.

 

[sleepybluedemon]

Grover Cleveland wielding two knives...

 

[notoriouslar]

Teddy Roosevelt and it ain't even close

 

[T Lo Sweater]

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The big homie William Howard Taft... 6'0 330 lbs. 

son can take a few stabs to the midsection and still compete. my money would be on taft too. i mean he got stuck in a a tub

 

[crcballer55]

On second thought, I might have to switch from Roosevelt to Washington. After all, he was considered the best at almost everything he did. He was 6'4", so he would have reach on any other president too.

 

[matt53]

I feel like Andrew Jackson was in straight beast mode 24/7. He'd align with Washington and Teddy Rose as they picked off the weak ones and then stab them in the back to take the prize.

 

[ryda421]

either Andrew jackson or Ulysses grant

 

[kanyewest]

man my man george went ham on the british how you guys underestimating him

dude had wooden teeth splinters and all and was strapped with the chopper chopping down cherry trees as a kid

 

[iluvjordanxi]

My money is on the Vampire Killa. Dude can do numbers with a tomahawk.

 

[je ne sais quoi]

I don't want to see a bloody knife fight.

I'd rather it be a Royal Rumble over-the-top rope match.

Starts in order with Washington and Adams going at it, and a new entrant comes in every 90 seconds.

Barack comes in the favorable last spot.

It'd get pretty messy until #7 Jackson cleans house.

Lincoln would even it out.

Grant will be drunk, so that'll be interesting.

The Beard Gang stable that includes Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, and Harrison, will hold their own helping each other.

The ring will be busy until #26 Roosevelt enters and cleans house.

The crowd will pop when #27 Big Daddy Taft's music hits. He'll slowly play to the crowd like a giant, stand on the apron, goes thru the ropes only to be clotheslined immediately out by Roosevelt.

Concerning FDR's legs, he'll be replaced with Teddy, so Teddy will get 2 chances. FDR will be ringside hitting people near the ropes with a crutch.

I don't know how it'll end, but Johnson will be the Val Venis of it all since he's got a Trina Standard dong.

I also think that if Bush Sr. isn't eliminated, the father & son team will be trouble for Clinton or Obama unless they decide to team up.

 

[Master Zik]

I don't want to see a bloody knife fight.


I'd rather it be a Royal Rumble over-the-top rope match.
Starts in order with Washington and Adams going at it, and a new entrant comes in every 90 seconds.
Barack comes in the favorable last spot.

It'd get pretty messy until #7 Jackson cleans house.
Lincoln would even it out.
Grant will be drunk, so that'll be interesting.
The Beard Gang stable that includes Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, and Harrison, will hold their own helping each other.

The ring will be busy until #26 Roosevelt enters and cleans house.
The crowd will pop when #27 Big Daddy Taft's music hits. He'll slowly play to the crowd like a giant, stand on the apron, goes thru the ropes only to be clotheslined immediately out by Roosevelt.

Concerning FDR's legs, he'll be replaced with Teddy, so Teddy will get 2 chances. FDR will be ringside hitting people near the ropes with a crutch.

I don't know how it'll end, but Johnson will be the Val Venis of it all since he's got a Trina Standard dong.

I also think that if Bush Sr. isn't eliminated, the father & son team will be trouble for Clinton or Obama unless they decide to team up.

Aw man, I love you for making me picture such greatness in my mind.

Somebody contact a video game software company so they can do this. This should be some special event that you can unlock in the next WWE game or SIMS

I can see JFK up in the rafters with his face painted ready to pounce and Nixon playing as dirty as he possibly can

 

[thorrocksjs]

Royal Rumble Teddy would take it but I see JFK getting him guy would have a crowd pop out of this world son was like Dusty Rhodes x Ravisihing Rick Rude all in one. Washington would be on the Cena tip. I can see Abe hitting cats with the Emancipator or the Log Cabin Chop .

 

[Case]

Aw man, I love you for making me picture such greatness in my mind.
Somebody contact a video game software company so they can do this. This should be some special event that you can unlock in the next WWE game or SIMS
I can see JFK up in the rafters with his face painted ready to pounce and Nixon playing as dirty as he possibly can

Dude don't get JNSQ started on wrestling stuff cause then this very serious topic will just turn into nonsense..

Anyways my vote goes to Lincoln cause he knows that old school Catch-as-Catch-Can style of wrestling..He was trained by Stu Hart you know..

 

[robpzee612]

A Royal Rumble involving presidents.

 

[teamjordan79]

Andrew Jackson. Man did not give a damb about anything.

 

[illoquent aka dsk]

I'm pleasantly surprised NT'ers know about my guy Andrew Jackson's history. He is the correct answer.

 

[shatterkneesinc]

View media item 128882

 

[jonathan93til]

Kuncikn, he be a vampire slayer yo

 

[jonathan93til]

*Lincoln*, he be a vampire slayer yo

 

[zapatohead408]

Ulyses grant would be drunk though, so.if he gets stabbed it might take him a while to bleed out.

Also, bush would be attacking random people that have no connection whatsoever.


truman being that he was in the Klan would instantly go for Obama.

 

[born illa]

classic thread

I got Lincoln though

 

[essential1]

If you say anyone but Teddy Roosevelt ... He will haunt your nightmares

 

[Master Zik]

Get ready for that new historic film about the secret life of a president:

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

Ulysses S. Grant: Drunken Master

Ulysses S. Grant, the 18th President of the United States, discovers a secret sect of the Ku Klux Klan are planning to take over the United States. While drinking all the liquor humanly possible he makes it his mission to eliminate them single handedly using his drunken fist style.

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

 

[Johnny_Cakes]

You're all wrong.

 

[airthompson]

JFK

unless its a magic knife