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pshh,.
some friend you are
some friend you are
Keeping friends that are going nowhere in life. Yay or Nay?
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by kingjamesvehs,
- Start date
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This was a topic brought up in a Leadership Conference I attended a while back.
At this conference, one of the speakers who was himself very accomplished basically said this:
"You are the average of your closest 5 friends". "Mediocrity begets Mediocrity, Greatness begets Greatness". "If you truly want to besuccessful, you must eliminate obstacles and people which are impeding your success." He basically just put a twist on the old saying, the company youkeeps defines who you are or at least how others will perceive you as a a man. He went on to state that old friends who have nothing who have amounted tonothing in life will end up holding you back.
It got me thinking about a few observations I've made in college: If you are around a bunch of people who are highly motivated and study all the time, alot of people (not all) would study more than if they were around people who didn't study.If you have a history of drug use, you're more likely to getback into doing drugs if all of your friends are druggies than if they weren't druggies.Those are just 2 of many examples to help me illustrate my point.Granted some people are completely different from their friends, but for the most part people hang out with people who have common interest, background, orgoals.
That being said:
This post is directed at NT college students, grads, or those who did not attend college but are doing well in life. Do you still maintain relationships withfriends/associates that you knew from High School if they're doing nothing with their lives, especially after you've met a lot of new people? One of myprofessors told me that it's not like people actively cut off those types of friends, they simply drift away from relevance.
I may have had something in common with my old friends when I was younger, but as I've gotten older and change I realized the only thing we still had incommon was where we grew up. I swear when I'm around some of my old HS friends, It's like a drain on me. I've notice a lot of these guys have apretty pessimistic view on life or attempt to downplay any of your academic/career successes because they have none of their own.
You mean to tell me these 4 years after HS......you're still talking about HS Football games? What have you done sinceHS?
How do you guys feel about the topic?
At this conference, one of the speakers who was himself very accomplished basically said this:
"You are the average of your closest 5 friends". "Mediocrity begets Mediocrity, Greatness begets Greatness". "If you truly want to besuccessful, you must eliminate obstacles and people which are impeding your success." He basically just put a twist on the old saying, the company youkeeps defines who you are or at least how others will perceive you as a a man. He went on to state that old friends who have nothing who have amounted tonothing in life will end up holding you back.
It got me thinking about a few observations I've made in college: If you are around a bunch of people who are highly motivated and study all the time, alot of people (not all) would study more than if they were around people who didn't study.If you have a history of drug use, you're more likely to getback into doing drugs if all of your friends are druggies than if they weren't druggies.Those are just 2 of many examples to help me illustrate my point.Granted some people are completely different from their friends, but for the most part people hang out with people who have common interest, background, orgoals.
That being said:
This post is directed at NT college students, grads, or those who did not attend college but are doing well in life. Do you still maintain relationships withfriends/associates that you knew from High School if they're doing nothing with their lives, especially after you've met a lot of new people? One of myprofessors told me that it's not like people actively cut off those types of friends, they simply drift away from relevance.
I may have had something in common with my old friends when I was younger, but as I've gotten older and change I realized the only thing we still had incommon was where we grew up. I swear when I'm around some of my old HS friends, It's like a drain on me. I've notice a lot of these guys have apretty pessimistic view on life or attempt to downplay any of your academic/career successes because they have none of their own.
You mean to tell me these 4 years after HS......you're still talking about HS Football games? What have you done sinceHS?
How do you guys feel about the topic?
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I usually keep my friends unless they straight up screw me over.
solewoman
Staff member
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i dont judge my friends off their success. then again i dont live im my old neighborhood. i moved to another state so the people that are still my"friends" have been down with me for the long haul and i wouldnt trade em for the world...
ps. i didnt read your post...just your title.
ps. i didnt read your post...just your title.
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I drifted away from those bums
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LOYALTY like Fat Joe says..........LOYALTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Keep them. If anything, I try to encourage them to make something of themselves. I don't desert people simply because they're not doing the most inhelping themselves. Sometimes, cats just need a little nudge or someone to remind them now and then that they need to act right. I don't believe in thatspeaker's quote. I am who I make myself to be, not what my friends make themselves to be.
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ehhhh sometimes its hard to relate to people that aren't doing what you are doing or that aren't on the same level...not exactly fair to write them offeither.
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more times than not, those are going to be your real friends.
if you think your friends are holding you back then you need to take a look at yourself.
if you think your friends are holding you back then you need to take a look at yourself.
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Its the truth, undoubtedly. Especially with the college analogy. One of the most powerful things you can do in college is associate yourself with those thatare serious about their given major. You become study partners, your observations are in-sync, and most importantly there is a sense of competition amongst youall.
...Through basic social observation, or a look in nature, you'd see that the quote "Birds of a feather, flock together." will always hold true.
...Through basic social observation, or a look in nature, you'd see that the quote "Birds of a feather, flock together." will always hold true.
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It's like skinny chicks who hang out with fat chicks, they do it because it makes them look and feel better. You should take heed.
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two words, 1 picture
al bundy
al bundy
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^^^ toast1985: I can dig that. I guess as far as your status in life and goals, that quote could hold true. But, as far as the person that I am, the peopleI'm around don't necessarily dictate that. As a senior in college, I'd just like to say DAMN for not associating myself with smarter folks... wellanybody for that matter. All of my friends are outside of school. I fly solo over here.
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Keeping them at a distance: yay
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Originally Posted by drop knee 101
two words, 1 picture
al bundy
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THIS
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Why are those losers keeping smart, outgoing, goal oriented friends around? Thats an unfair pressure. Chill with your "wanna succeed" attitude
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I have friends like this... all they do is smoke, play video games, work out & parlay... Dont get me wrong, I love to do all of the above..but thesefriends live at home with they family ...and the family supports or puts up with it.
I have no idea why.
I have seen myself keeping my distance due to being a workaholic... i have tried to get them jobs or help them succeed...but it seems as if they are okay onwhat they are doing.
one is collecting disability.. and claims that he's balling on the $230 check he recieves every week.
That being said, These are my friends....I have gone through so many things its like these dudes been my brothers.
They come to my restauraunt, they eat & drink , I pay the bill.
I have no idea why I do it, its just best i continue to do so, these are the type of friends that also hit you up when they need something... like.. a ride,some weed & or money.
but when i need something.. they dont pick up or respond.. but its all good.. because I dont need anyone for anything.
theres a reason why you choose your friends from acquaintances.
I have no idea why.
I have seen myself keeping my distance due to being a workaholic... i have tried to get them jobs or help them succeed...but it seems as if they are okay onwhat they are doing.
one is collecting disability.. and claims that he's balling on the $230 check he recieves every week.
That being said, These are my friends....I have gone through so many things its like these dudes been my brothers.
They come to my restauraunt, they eat & drink , I pay the bill.
I have no idea why I do it, its just best i continue to do so, these are the type of friends that also hit you up when they need something... like.. a ride,some weed & or money.
but when i need something.. they dont pick up or respond.. but its all good.. because I dont need anyone for anything.
theres a reason why you choose your friends from acquaintances.
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dumb question
cedric ceballos 1995 lakers
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if their good friends and you know you can trust or rely on them then keep them because in life you don't have many true friends.
if you guys are cool but were never tight like that then slowly but surely start minimizing the time you spend with them.
if you guys are cool but were never tight like that then slowly but surely start minimizing the time you spend with them.
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^^LOL good contribution, man.
jchambers
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http://www.youtube.com/v/VoMhU91MdzQ&fs=1&source=uds&autoplay=0http://www.youtube.com/v/VoMhU91MdzQ&fs=1&source=uds&autoplay=0http://www.youtube.com/v/VoMhU91MdzQ&fs=1&source=uds&autoplay=0http://www.youtube.com/v/VoMhU91MdzQ&fs=1&source=uds&autoplay=0http://www.youtube.com/v/GCLCzXyX9EE&fs=1&source=uds&autoplay=0http://www.youtube.com/v/GCLCzXyX9EE&fs=1&source=uds&autoplay=0http://www.youtube.com/v/GCLCzXyX9EE&fs=1&source=uds&autoplay=0http://www.youtube.com/v/GCLCzXyX9EE&fs=1&source=uds&autoplay=0
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Sometimes friendships start before either people were going anywhere...or had any dreams. Honestly those can be broken if you don't care to associateyourself with a so called "loser" or whatever....a bit off topic but my circle of 6 friends from college started this group motivation thingliterally this week....we've all had talks the past 3 years or so about what we want to do our goals dreams..and we are working to them but incredibly slowand without determination...so I've encouraged all of us to give bits of motivation randomly through texts, conversation, etc...setup a private facebookgroup and the goal is to improve eachothers time management and focus.
So if you really care about a friend(s) maybe try something like that.
So if you really care about a friend(s) maybe try something like that.
