- 18,297
- 1,007
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2009
Nope, I don't need anyone holding me back
Keeping friends that are going nowhere in life. Yay or Nay?
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by kingjamesvehs,
- Start date
- 1,245
- 32
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2006
I think the whole cutting out the people who are going no where is a bit extreme.
I understand that who you surround yourself with can be extremely important to our own successes/failures (I personally think that's part of the rason forsome of my "failures")
BUT, if they're your friends (as in, REAL friends) -- why cut them off? If you gotta spend less time with them or something to get yours, they might besalty at first, but that doesn't mean they aren't your friends and you just gotta cut them off.
Really:
I understand that who you surround yourself with can be extremely important to our own successes/failures (I personally think that's part of the rason forsome of my "failures")
BUT, if they're your friends (as in, REAL friends) -- why cut them off? If you gotta spend less time with them or something to get yours, they might besalty at first, but that doesn't mean they aren't your friends and you just gotta cut them off.
Really:
- 11,315
- 57
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2004
nah... but i have turned my back on some ppl that i knew would be detrimental to my future..
- 498
- 13
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2001
I got rid of my old inner circle from highschool and kept only a few worth keeping and I agree with OP.
I didn't cut them off completely, just didn't waste my time doing high school crap.
I didn't cut them off completely, just didn't waste my time doing high school crap.
- 2,831
- 352
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2006
I never cut my friend off that arent going anywhere ... You grow up in the hood, you naturally going to be damn near surrounded by dudes who live there wholeexistence on a treadmill. But if they true to you, and they keep it 100 than why cut them off ..
Soon as my dude came home and he seen me it was love. He still a street dude not doing anything with life but son will help my mom with her groceries if hesee her struggling ... thats love within itself ..
Soon as my dude came home and he seen me it was love. He still a street dude not doing anything with life but son will help my mom with her groceries if hesee her struggling ... thats love within itself ..
- 2,324
- 407
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2003
As long as they don't bring you down ..... or bring negativity to the circle .... In fact your hard work could motivate them to try to do more forthemselves and accomplish their goals/dreams .... Basically more than anything you weed out the bad seeds ... and try to make the good ones shine a little more.. Sometimes all someone needs is someone to believe in them or show them the way and you could be that person
- 11,315
- 57
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2004
yea, this is what i wanted to say. +1
mathilda lando
Banned
- 1,084
- 11
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2009
chicityk7
Banned
- 1,562
- 10
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2008
a friends a friend no matter what
unless they do something to alter the relationship
i have friend that sell drugs & do demos(debit card scam) that im still 1000% cool with
even though i have a regular 9-5 working @ state Farm
thier current life estatus has no say so on our friendship because like i said a friend is a friend
of course i encourage them away from this lifestyle but it's ultimately thier choice
& just because they do what they do they dont have a force or lean on my life style at all aside from a occasional L
unless they do something to alter the relationship
i have friend that sell drugs & do demos(debit card scam) that im still 1000% cool with
even though i have a regular 9-5 working @ state Farm
thier current life estatus has no say so on our friendship because like i said a friend is a friend
of course i encourage them away from this lifestyle but it's ultimately thier choice
& just because they do what they do they dont have a force or lean on my life style at all aside from a occasional L
elpablo21
Supporter
- 103,734
- 186,493
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2008
I'll always keep my friends around no matter what
They dont affect my goals or current progression in life so if they choose to lag behind so be it
They dont affect my goals or current progression in life so if they choose to lag behind so be it
- 6,385
- 10
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2004
most of my compadres are pot smokers
and you could say that their going no where in life
but what i see , is that your either born with the right support and direction in life
or you aint, do i judged them no, do i think that i need to drop them no
they aint controlling my life and they aint holding me back from nothin
and you could say that their going no where in life
but what i see , is that your either born with the right support and direction in life
or you aint, do i judged them no, do i think that i need to drop them no
they aint controlling my life and they aint holding me back from nothin
- 4,925
- 943
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2003
some people really don't need to be in your life..
- 138
- 10
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2009
I conducted a similar training a couple months back at a Leadership Conference as well. It was a mock up of Franklin Covey's 7 Habits Training (Look it up if you have the chance btw...) You'll learn how to view life in paradigms...
...........
I think it's the high school youth factor and the high school memories that keep friendships intact to this day. I had many high school friends that I nolonger hang out with and had to cut loose b/c as I've gotten older, I noticed they weren't doing the most with their lives and I couldn't fathomthe fact that people could actually waste something so precious as life just to do NOTHING for themselves. And this can set you back if you're trying togrow as a person.
Most live at home with their parents, which I don't have a problem with... But they have no job, no car, and ironically, are all about the clubs. <<How do they get their money to go clubbing? MOMMY AND DADDY. smh.
In just a few more years I'll be 30 and I don't need to be feeling sorry for people who don't feel the need to better themselves. If I can do it,why can't they? In my case, I grew tired of the constant "Hey can you cover me this time and I'll pay you back" "Hey can you come pickme up?" "I'm broke." "I don't have money." "Damn I wish I had ______." "Can I borrow ____? (Always money)"
And I just didn't feel the need to "baby sit" people that were already old enough to know how to wipe their own @sses.
Those were my high school friends... and out of the many that were my high school friends... I only have about 3 to this day that I still talk and hang outwith. And these would be the ones that actually did make the time and effort like I did to get their feet wet in life's responsibilities.
I think in life... you grow out of friendships because you're destined to take a different path from them.
...........
I think it's the high school youth factor and the high school memories that keep friendships intact to this day. I had many high school friends that I nolonger hang out with and had to cut loose b/c as I've gotten older, I noticed they weren't doing the most with their lives and I couldn't fathomthe fact that people could actually waste something so precious as life just to do NOTHING for themselves. And this can set you back if you're trying togrow as a person.
Most live at home with their parents, which I don't have a problem with... But they have no job, no car, and ironically, are all about the clubs. <<How do they get their money to go clubbing? MOMMY AND DADDY. smh.
In just a few more years I'll be 30 and I don't need to be feeling sorry for people who don't feel the need to better themselves. If I can do it,why can't they? In my case, I grew tired of the constant "Hey can you cover me this time and I'll pay you back" "Hey can you come pickme up?" "I'm broke." "I don't have money." "Damn I wish I had ______." "Can I borrow ____? (Always money)"
And I just didn't feel the need to "baby sit" people that were already old enough to know how to wipe their own @sses.
Those were my high school friends... and out of the many that were my high school friends... I only have about 3 to this day that I still talk and hang outwith. And these would be the ones that actually did make the time and effort like I did to get their feet wet in life's responsibilities.
I think in life... you grow out of friendships because you're destined to take a different path from them.
- 2,004
- 22
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
[h3]Re: Keeping friends that are going nowhere in life. Yay or Nay?[/h3]
I value my friends greatly. The majority of them are from my childhood. It doesn't matter if their lives are going no where or not. They are greatpeople in general and that's what really counts.
im not you
Banned
- 7,863
- 11
- Joined
- May 29, 2009
I slowly cut them _'s off til they get the point. I really only had one real loser type N' somewhat close to my circle.
lightweight champion
Banned
- 13,481
- 5,271
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2007
Your guest speaker failed to define success.
riverxbear
Banned
- 1,864
- 10
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2009
i had to cut off one of my boys he wasnt going no where fast , and i was dragging my heels i relised it wasn't even going after nothing
- 6,993
- 80
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2004
it's nice to hang with them when i come back in town from school, it gives me motivation to keep going. Most of them are proud of me and tell me to keepgoing. Nothing is wrong with hanging out with people that don't have big aspirations because your friends shouldnt be based on their goals as long as theyaren't interfering with you goals. Plain and simple either you're a friend or not there is no gray area.
- 390
- 10
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2004
i agree with the speaker. people end up taking friendships for granted just like relationships. yeah you can try to bring them up, half the time theydon't appreciate it and are actually offended that you pointed out their problems. i'm not a parent. i don't HAVE to try to help them out... andso i won't.
- 1,730
- 14
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2005
Unless I'm being dragged down in their going nowhere life, I don't care
I'll give advice up until I see that it's pointless
I'll give advice up until I see that it's pointless
- 6,782
- 18
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2006
Hmmm.
Thanks to those of you who actually bothered to read my post and made intelligent comments on the topic at hand. There has been good input from both sides ofthe discussion. I was interested to see what people who were adamant about keeping all old friends had to say.
I guess it all depends on the friends. Like I said earlier, a lot of my homeboys are simply pessimistic and some are still doing dumb %!!+ which I would rathernot partake in. I.E. using and selling drugs. A lot of people went through that phase in life, but I mean.....we're grown now. In regards to giving advice,I'm known to that.......almost too much. It's just annoying when you give life advice to people who refuse it or don't care for it. And then thesame people end up getting into worse %!!+. But hey, I'm not your father. I can take every horse to the river, but Ican't force the horse to drink, Some people are just content with mediocrity. Whatever makes you happy, just don't try and bring me down withyou.
And no, I don't base my friendships off your potential tax return, it's more of common interest. I mean if we no longer have anything in common, whatcan we talk about other than %!!+ that happened when we were 12? Spaceships don't come equipped with rear-view mirrors.
I agree with the speaker, to an extent. But I'm siding more with my Professors approach. Let time run it's course and the people who are going to bethere for you..........will still be there.
Thanks to those of you who actually bothered to read my post and made intelligent comments on the topic at hand. There has been good input from both sides ofthe discussion. I was interested to see what people who were adamant about keeping all old friends had to say.
I guess it all depends on the friends. Like I said earlier, a lot of my homeboys are simply pessimistic and some are still doing dumb %!!+ which I would rathernot partake in. I.E. using and selling drugs. A lot of people went through that phase in life, but I mean.....we're grown now. In regards to giving advice,I'm known to that.......almost too much. It's just annoying when you give life advice to people who refuse it or don't care for it. And then thesame people end up getting into worse %!!+. But hey, I'm not your father. I can take every horse to the river, but Ican't force the horse to drink, Some people are just content with mediocrity. Whatever makes you happy, just don't try and bring me down withyou.
And no, I don't base my friendships off your potential tax return, it's more of common interest. I mean if we no longer have anything in common, whatcan we talk about other than %!!+ that happened when we were 12? Spaceships don't come equipped with rear-view mirrors.
I agree with the speaker, to an extent. But I'm siding more with my Professors approach. Let time run it's course and the people who are going to bethere for you..........will still be there.
