Let me give you all some relationship advice.

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by toast1985


Not to argue semantics here, but there are opportunities that you see in people that could help them outside your personal benefit. When its for selfish gain, it then becomes questionable.

But the point of a relationship is to be happy. If my woman looking chunky is a turn off to me why shouldn't I let it be known? Oh wait because it is "superficial" right? It doesn't matter, sexual attraction is important in a relationship. If her and that extra baggage causes me to go limp every so often I bet she won't be viewed as the bad guy when she speaks up and I am no longer able to please her. So I don't think an issue like that, which affects the relationship, should be ignored because it is a "selfish" gain for me.

People will change in a relationship.
People will change their mate in a relationship.

It is bound to happen sooner or later. Subconsciously or consciously. It seems that people want to vilify those individuals that consciously do it. Why? People do it. Don't knock me because I know it will be done. Hell I think it is better than sitting there like a quiet church mouse and not speaking up when you see an issue. Yes the word issue is perspective based but and issue is an issue. You get fat on me, I am speaking up on it. Forget all of that, "Love me for who I am" Disney talk. I want to love you and get hard by you on command for as long as possible. Point blank.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by toast1985


Not to argue semantics here, but there are opportunities that you see in people that could help them outside your personal benefit. When its for selfish gain, it then becomes questionable.

But the point of a relationship is to be happy. If my woman looking chunky is a turn off to me why shouldn't I let it be known? Oh wait because it is "superficial" right? It doesn't matter, sexual attraction is important in a relationship. If her and that extra baggage causes me to go limp every so often I bet she won't be viewed as the bad guy when she speaks up and I am no longer able to please her. So I don't think an issue like that, which affects the relationship, should be ignored because it is a "selfish" gain for me.

People will change in a relationship.
People will change their mate in a relationship.

It is bound to happen sooner or later. Subconsciously or consciously. It seems that people want to vilify those individuals that consciously do it. Why? People do it. Don't knock me because I know it will be done. Hell I think it is better than sitting there like a quiet church mouse and not speaking up when you see an issue. Yes the word issue is perspective based but and issue is an issue. You get fat on me, I am speaking up on it. Forget all of that, "Love me for who I am" Disney talk. I want to love you and get hard by you on command for as long as possible. Point blank.

 

[ryeno]

76. No excuses. Play like a champion.

 

[ryeno]

76. No excuses. Play like a champion.

 

[acidicality]

I agree with most of what you said.

In terms of Pam, Jim, and Roy, Roy is a douche but Pam also should have left him long ago if she knew that she liked Jim more and should have done something about it before *!$% really hit the fan...but then again, that's what makes TV drama of course.

 

[acidicality]

I agree with most of what you said.

In terms of Pam, Jim, and Roy, Roy is a douche but Pam also should have left him long ago if she knew that she liked Jim more and should have done something about it before *!$% really hit the fan...but then again, that's what makes TV drama of course.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

So if I am leading by example, in the gym every day, eating right, but my mate just won't follow suit. I am still not supposed to speak up about it? I mean are my other choices? Cheat or just sit there angry because she isn't following my lead. Lose lose situation, so if I am going to lose at least let me possibly get what I want in a fit woman. Closed mouths don't get fed.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

So if I am leading by example, in the gym every day, eating right, but my mate just won't follow suit. I am still not supposed to speak up about it? I mean are my other choices? Cheat or just sit there angry because she isn't following my lead. Lose lose situation, so if I am going to lose at least let me possibly get what I want in a fit woman. Closed mouths don't get fed.

 

[CJ616]

Originally Posted by Boi

Straight common sense

Common sense isn't so common these days.  Good list OP.

 

[CJ616]

Originally Posted by Boi

Straight common sense

Common sense isn't so common these days.  Good list OP.

 

[north dade represent]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

So if I am leading by example, in the gym every day, eating right, but my mate just won't follow suit. I am still not supposed to speak up about it? I mean are my other choices? Cheat or just sit there angry because she isn't following my lead. Lose lose situation, so if I am going to lose at least let me possibly get what I want in a fit woman. Closed mouths don't get fed.

But you knew she was like that when you met her. If you wanted a woman that worked out and ate right, you could have chose a girl that did that from the jump.

I would never choose to date a person, thinking "If they stop this or that, it would be perfect". They are what they are, you can suggest change, but you can't really expect it.

 

[north dade represent]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

So if I am leading by example, in the gym every day, eating right, but my mate just won't follow suit. I am still not supposed to speak up about it? I mean are my other choices? Cheat or just sit there angry because she isn't following my lead. Lose lose situation, so if I am going to lose at least let me possibly get what I want in a fit woman. Closed mouths don't get fed.

But you knew she was like that when you met her. If you wanted a woman that worked out and ate right, you could have chose a girl that did that from the jump.

I would never choose to date a person, thinking "If they stop this or that, it would be perfect". They are what they are, you can suggest change, but you can't really expect it.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Of course in a situation where that is the way that person is I can't EXPECT anything. Hell you can't expect anything from another human.

But I am speaking of women gaining weight over time. After the relationship has already started.

My point is simply addressing weight issues with a woman. That is what I am discussing at this point. RKO says that I shouldn't speak on it. Just lead by example and hope she follows. And I said, what if she doesn't follow and she is slowly putting on weight. Am I still just supposed to keep quiet?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Of course in a situation where that is the way that person is I can't EXPECT anything. Hell you can't expect anything from another human.

But I am speaking of women gaining weight over time. After the relationship has already started.

My point is simply addressing weight issues with a woman. That is what I am discussing at this point. RKO says that I shouldn't speak on it. Just lead by example and hope she follows. And I said, what if she doesn't follow and she is slowly putting on weight. Am I still just supposed to keep quiet?

 

[north dade represent]

^ Agreed. You definitely should address it if a woman is letting herself go. I can go along with you on that.

 

[north dade represent]

^ Agreed. You definitely should address it if a woman is letting herself go. I can go along with you on that.

 

[dunks87]

Originally Posted by awon23

Originally Posted by RKO2004

7. If your spouse says or does questionable things that make you question their character, don't ignore them. Guys, your girl says she likes to be choked. Cut her loose. Girls, your guy says he doesn't feel pretty enough. Head for the hills.

What's wrong with that?

yea i want to know that too..i like it...long as i'm not on the verge of being strangled

 

[dunks87]

Originally Posted by awon23

Originally Posted by RKO2004

7. If your spouse says or does questionable things that make you question their character, don't ignore them. Guys, your girl says she likes to be choked. Cut her loose. Girls, your guy says he doesn't feel pretty enough. Head for the hills.

What's wrong with that?

yea i want to know that too..i like it...long as i'm not on the verge of being strangled

 

[whywesteppin]

It can go both ways on the "expecting your mate to change" thing. You need to be careful and realistic. If a girl has cheated on 5 guys before you, chances are she will cheat on you too. At the same time, it's a pretty depressing world if we just accept that no one changes. And we all know people change in relationships. So the key is to make sure you instill positive changes in your girl.

[rant]I'm sick of

 

 boys turning their women into losers because they are weak-

 

 who are only in the relationship to use the girl to fill their insecurities and feel better about their pathetic lives. Maybe I should start a new thread but it's been bothering me lately when I see girls become worse people after they enter a relationship, and 9 times out of 10 it's because the guy they're dating is a selfish loser who sucks at life and brings the girl down too. 

 [/rant]

 

[whywesteppin]

It can go both ways on the "expecting your mate to change" thing. You need to be careful and realistic. If a girl has cheated on 5 guys before you, chances are she will cheat on you too. At the same time, it's a pretty depressing world if we just accept that no one changes. And we all know people change in relationships. So the key is to make sure you instill positive changes in your girl.

[rant]I'm sick of

 

 boys turning their women into losers because they are weak-

 

 who are only in the relationship to use the girl to fill their insecurities and feel better about their pathetic lives. Maybe I should start a new thread but it's been bothering me lately when I see girls become worse people after they enter a relationship, and 9 times out of 10 it's because the guy they're dating is a selfish loser who sucks at life and brings the girl down too. 

 [/rant]

 

[d money87]

i agree with most of these actually good post

 

[d money87]

i agree with most of these actually good post

 

[whph10]

What if a girl changes for the negative and you can no longer relate?

Should you just pack it up after that?

 

[whph10]

What if a girl changes for the negative and you can no longer relate?

Should you just pack it up after that?

 

[rko2004]

Originally Posted by WHPH10

What if a girl changes for the negative and you can no longer relate?

Should you just pack it up after that?

Change in what ways?