- 87
- 10
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2008
I can't sleep. Sp I was checking out those LOST action figures. Bad-*%@. Def gonna have to invest, including the Hatch set ("Light-up feature createsan eerie glow from deep within. Wraparound backdrop features nighttime tropical scenery."- oh my!).
Some figures they should make:
Taller Ghost Walt (Season Four) - Walt and Michael were two of the central characters in season one of Lost. Unfortunately, sincethe first four seasons of the show take place over a matter of months (and since the producers failed to cast Gary Coleman as Walt), the writers were forced tolimit the amount of screen time given to Walt after season one to hide the fact that Malcolm David Kelly was going through puberty. Their solution was to havea "Taller Ghost Walt" appear first to Shannon in season two, then later to Locke in season four. So, since we all know how tough the life of a childactor can be and since Walt's presence is missed on the show, I think that McFarlane should immortalize Malcolm David Kelly's awkward teen yearsforever in an action figure.
Kate with a gun to her head (Seasons One through Five) - While Kate managed to evade the police for years before arriving on the island,somehow she lost all of her street smarts when she crash landed in the jungle (luckily, she managed to keep her magical tracking powers). Since every otherepisode seems to involve Kate wandering off into the jungle by herself only to be kidnapped at gunpoint, we might as well have an action figure commemoratingthe event. Besides, the Oceanic Six seem destined to head back to the island, so it's only a matter of time before Kate is being held hostage onceagain.
Shirtless Sawyer (Season Five) - Since the writers of Lost were clearly trying to appease their female fans by having Sawyer goshirtless for the majority of this season's premiere, why not give them their own mini-Sawyer to take home with them. (Bonus points if he comes with a pairof those ridiculous reading glasses Jack made for him, so that he can appear rugged, but intellectual.)
Nosebleed Charlotte (Season Five) - This season, it seems that all Charlotte is bringing to the table is collapsing and spurting blood outof her nose, so why not play to her strengths?
New York socialite Tom (Season Four) - I was very sad to see the loveable Tom murdered by Sawyer in the season three finale. So it was apleasant surprise seeing Tom resurface during Michael's flashback episode in New York. The brief glimpse of Tom (and his "special friend") livingit up in a swank New York hotel room was a wonderful moment in the show and I can't help but think of all of the fun misadventures you could have with aNew York socialite Tom action figure. (Bonus points if McFarlane can find a way to make Tom's clothes removable so that you can also recreate M.C.Gainey's infamous naked guy scene in Sideways.)
Shih Tzu t-shirt Hurley (Season Five) - McFarlane did make a Hurley toy, but it was a season one figure that features Hurley holding the flag from the golf course he made on theisland. Hurley has given us so many glorious moments on the show, so he deserves a better figure. Why not memorialize Hurley and Sayid's wackybuddy comedy storyline that involved killing a guy with a dishwasher, lugging around an unconscious Sayid a la Weekend at Bernie's and buying aridiculous yellow Shi Tzu t-shirt from a rest stop?
Nikki and Paulo's buried alive play set (Season Three) - Nikki and Paulo don't deserve their own toys, but the writers of the showdeserve to have their two greatest failures memorialized so that they never make a mistake that bad again. Also, it would be fun to bury these two awfulcharacters over and over again.
Hospital gown Locke with removable kidney (Season One) - It's not hard to see all of the emotional baggage Locke has been luggingaround since his biological father resurfaced in his life in order to procure one of Locke's kidneys. Perhaps if McFarlane could create a hospital gownJohn Locke, we could replay the fateful scene and this time give Locke the tender father-son moment he's been longing for (and perhaps save him fromgetting thrown out of a hotel window and breaking his back).
Ageless Richard Alpert (Since the dawn of time apparently) - As Juliet explained to Locke in this season's "Jughead" episode,Richard Alpert has always been on the island and is quite old, yet he never seems to age. Just think of how versatile a Richard Alpert action figure could be -you can have Richard interact with young Ben or the time-traveling Oceanic bunch or you could even go back to the beginning of time and have Richard square offwith dinosaurs on the island, a la Jurassic Park. Or, if that got boring, you could use the figure to play out your favorite scenes from The DarkKnight or Suddenly Susan. The possibilities are endless.
Juliet with a low-cut shirt (Season Five) - You're welcome Chris Kirkman.
Mr. Eko and the Smoke Monster (Season Three) - Todd McFarlane already created an Eko action figure and to be perfectlyhonest it is probably the best Lost figure he has created to date. So why give Eko another toy? Because this time I want him to escape that damn smokemonster so that he doesn't suffer the lamest and most ridiculous looking death the show has given us to date.
Jacob (Season Four) - Not that I think a Jacob figure would be particularly fun to play with; I just want this toy so that I can finallyfind out what he looks like.
Ghostbuster Miles (Season Four) - Mattel has already announced plans for a classic Ghostbusters toy line, so whynot throw Miles into the mix and officially give him the job that he was clearly born to do? He's bound to make a better Ghostbuster than Rick Moranis.
Porn 'stache Matt Parkman (Season Four) - Before he was stealing Daphne's (and Mohinder's) heart on Heroes, GregGrunberg had a brief cameo playing the pilot of Oceanic Flight 815 in the beginning of the show. Last season, when Frank Lapidus watched the newscast featuringfootage of the faux Oceanic 815 wreckage that was recovered underwater, the news program ran a file photo of Grunberg sporting an awesome porn 'stache. Sowhile Grunberg's days as a pilot may have come to a tragic end, with this toy he could still give mustache rides to Heaven.
Pill-popping, Ron Burgundy beard Jack (Seasons Three, Four and Five) - Jack may be a polarizing figure for many Lost fans, buteven all of the Jack haters out there have to admit that its fun watching him stumble around while sporting that ridiculous facial hair. Besides, they need tomake the figure so that I can walk him around the streets of San Diego saying things like, "Milk was a bad choice."
Some figures they should make:
Taller Ghost Walt (Season Four) - Walt and Michael were two of the central characters in season one of Lost. Unfortunately, sincethe first four seasons of the show take place over a matter of months (and since the producers failed to cast Gary Coleman as Walt), the writers were forced tolimit the amount of screen time given to Walt after season one to hide the fact that Malcolm David Kelly was going through puberty. Their solution was to havea "Taller Ghost Walt" appear first to Shannon in season two, then later to Locke in season four. So, since we all know how tough the life of a childactor can be and since Walt's presence is missed on the show, I think that McFarlane should immortalize Malcolm David Kelly's awkward teen yearsforever in an action figure.
Kate with a gun to her head (Seasons One through Five) - While Kate managed to evade the police for years before arriving on the island,somehow she lost all of her street smarts when she crash landed in the jungle (luckily, she managed to keep her magical tracking powers). Since every otherepisode seems to involve Kate wandering off into the jungle by herself only to be kidnapped at gunpoint, we might as well have an action figure commemoratingthe event. Besides, the Oceanic Six seem destined to head back to the island, so it's only a matter of time before Kate is being held hostage onceagain.
Shirtless Sawyer (Season Five) - Since the writers of Lost were clearly trying to appease their female fans by having Sawyer goshirtless for the majority of this season's premiere, why not give them their own mini-Sawyer to take home with them. (Bonus points if he comes with a pairof those ridiculous reading glasses Jack made for him, so that he can appear rugged, but intellectual.)
Nosebleed Charlotte (Season Five) - This season, it seems that all Charlotte is bringing to the table is collapsing and spurting blood outof her nose, so why not play to her strengths?
New York socialite Tom (Season Four) - I was very sad to see the loveable Tom murdered by Sawyer in the season three finale. So it was apleasant surprise seeing Tom resurface during Michael's flashback episode in New York. The brief glimpse of Tom (and his "special friend") livingit up in a swank New York hotel room was a wonderful moment in the show and I can't help but think of all of the fun misadventures you could have with aNew York socialite Tom action figure. (Bonus points if McFarlane can find a way to make Tom's clothes removable so that you can also recreate M.C.Gainey's infamous naked guy scene in Sideways.)
Shih Tzu t-shirt Hurley (Season Five) - McFarlane did make a Hurley toy, but it was a season one figure that features Hurley holding the flag from the golf course he made on theisland. Hurley has given us so many glorious moments on the show, so he deserves a better figure. Why not memorialize Hurley and Sayid's wackybuddy comedy storyline that involved killing a guy with a dishwasher, lugging around an unconscious Sayid a la Weekend at Bernie's and buying aridiculous yellow Shi Tzu t-shirt from a rest stop?
Nikki and Paulo's buried alive play set (Season Three) - Nikki and Paulo don't deserve their own toys, but the writers of the showdeserve to have their two greatest failures memorialized so that they never make a mistake that bad again. Also, it would be fun to bury these two awfulcharacters over and over again.
Hospital gown Locke with removable kidney (Season One) - It's not hard to see all of the emotional baggage Locke has been luggingaround since his biological father resurfaced in his life in order to procure one of Locke's kidneys. Perhaps if McFarlane could create a hospital gownJohn Locke, we could replay the fateful scene and this time give Locke the tender father-son moment he's been longing for (and perhaps save him fromgetting thrown out of a hotel window and breaking his back).
Ageless Richard Alpert (Since the dawn of time apparently) - As Juliet explained to Locke in this season's "Jughead" episode,Richard Alpert has always been on the island and is quite old, yet he never seems to age. Just think of how versatile a Richard Alpert action figure could be -you can have Richard interact with young Ben or the time-traveling Oceanic bunch or you could even go back to the beginning of time and have Richard square offwith dinosaurs on the island, a la Jurassic Park. Or, if that got boring, you could use the figure to play out your favorite scenes from The DarkKnight or Suddenly Susan. The possibilities are endless.
Juliet with a low-cut shirt (Season Five) - You're welcome Chris Kirkman.
Mr. Eko and the Smoke Monster (Season Three) - Todd McFarlane already created an Eko action figure and to be perfectlyhonest it is probably the best Lost figure he has created to date. So why give Eko another toy? Because this time I want him to escape that damn smokemonster so that he doesn't suffer the lamest and most ridiculous looking death the show has given us to date.
Jacob (Season Four) - Not that I think a Jacob figure would be particularly fun to play with; I just want this toy so that I can finallyfind out what he looks like.
Ghostbuster Miles (Season Four) - Mattel has already announced plans for a classic Ghostbusters toy line, so whynot throw Miles into the mix and officially give him the job that he was clearly born to do? He's bound to make a better Ghostbuster than Rick Moranis.
Porn 'stache Matt Parkman (Season Four) - Before he was stealing Daphne's (and Mohinder's) heart on Heroes, GregGrunberg had a brief cameo playing the pilot of Oceanic Flight 815 in the beginning of the show. Last season, when Frank Lapidus watched the newscast featuringfootage of the faux Oceanic 815 wreckage that was recovered underwater, the news program ran a file photo of Grunberg sporting an awesome porn 'stache. Sowhile Grunberg's days as a pilot may have come to a tragic end, with this toy he could still give mustache rides to Heaven.
Pill-popping, Ron Burgundy beard Jack (Seasons Three, Four and Five) - Jack may be a polarizing figure for many Lost fans, buteven all of the Jack haters out there have to admit that its fun watching him stumble around while sporting that ridiculous facial hair. Besides, they need tomake the figure so that I can walk him around the streets of San Diego saying things like, "Milk was a bad choice."
