My cousin wants to kill himself because he can't get laid (srs)

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My cousin is the type that stays home all day playing games , fapping to porn 24/7 , and stalking girls online . About two hours ago he called me ranting about some girl on tumblr who reblogs some guy who he assumes she likes, i told him to get life then hung up .Few minutes later he calls back crying saying how he's going to kill himself because he's a lame , at first i thought he was trolling but it turned out he was serious. I rushed over since he lives a few blocks down from me to see if he was alright , dude had an enormous red mark on his face like a hand print on a booty . I'm not sure what exactly he did to himself but it looked as if he took a hot iron and placed it on his face. I asked him what's going on and he said that i was right about him not having a life , my cousin told me things that I've never thought I'd hear a family member say ...

He graduated from high school last summer and hasn't been outside ever since , i don't even think he went outside that much when he was in school . We had this huge conversation about his life and he only had negative things to say , like him not looking in the mirror for months , not being being able to be "cool" , bad hair , bad hygiene and all this other middle school type junk . What's sad is that the dude is 17 and doesn't want to commit to anything in life that has to do with interacting with human beings . He said that that his penis is sort of pencil like but has average girth and his length is 6-7inches which is a little bit above average so he should have no problem getting naked in front of another girl .

He listens to artists like One Direction , Big time rush , Mitchel Musso etc
So i told him he should try bumping some Dipset or Wu tang just to see if it would make him wild out and see his inner side .
He said no because it's "too violent" , not sure how exactly he expects to get laid with that attitude .

We live in New York where there's jumpoffs everywhere but he doesn't want to talk to one because he fears that they will call him ugly . He's really considering killing himself if he doesn't get laid but the thing is he's not trying to get laid , he doesn't even want to leave his house .


His parents are always on the run , they own their own restaurant near the lower east side and they were rarely home with him while he was growing up which kind of explains his insecurities .

I'm nervous because he harmed himself earlier and there's no telling what worse he would do .


How can i convince him to go outside ?
 
Bro its 2 in the am and you write a dissertation. I did not read any of it.


I will say that you should remind your cousin that its only poon tang and stop putting it on a pedestal.
 
Continue to recommend him to try new things (i.e. music, clothes, events, etc) see how he likes things. Ask him what is his goal in life. Everyone has one, "not having one" is not an answer. Basically encourage him to shoot for that and make it clear that you are there to help him in any way. He is your family and now is the time he needs you the most.
 
NotSureIfSerious.jpg
 
Dude be a real family member. Shell out some cash and get the poor boy laid. Get that boy a nice spanish girl with a cake. After his first nut , he will be singing a different tune. The point isnt to get him laid really, but to help him understand P is just p, nothing to obsess and kill yourself over.
 
Originally Posted by thenewjs23

Bro its 2 in the am and you write a dissertation. I did not read any of it.


I will say that you should remind your cousin that its only poon tang and stop putting it on a pedestal.

Dude ..
I'm nervous , one of my family members is considering killing themselves .
Bad enough he had me running out in the middle of the night .
 
Originally Posted by So Nyuh Shi Dae

he's 17? i know people that didn't get laid until they were 24.

this
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only good looking dudes or dudes with game get laid under 18

if you an average joe or a loser its gon be a while
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Dead at the penis size thing
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had to be awkward

But yo. Tell him these chicks out here are low down and not worth killing yourself over. Someday there will be that chick that he finds that will hate society as much as he does and he'll fall in love. In the meantime, get this dude a fake ID and take him to a stripclub, slip one of them strippers and couple $20's so he can get a surprise or something.

Or just goto backpages and tell the p that he needs higher confidence so she can play into it.
 
He wont be called ugly if he's wearing sunglasses and a snapback.

But for srs, tell him to man up and help him change his life around this Summer.
 
Originally Posted by GRideBounca11

Dude be a real family member. Shell out some cash and get the poor boy laid. Get that boy a nice spanish girl with a cake. After his first nut , he will be singing a different tune. The point isnt to get him laid really, but to help him understand P is just p, nothing to obsess and kill yourself over.

I would hook him up with Dominican girl i know from my old school who's down for anything that has to do with drinking or smoking but he does neither nor he wants too . Besides, i think he would be too nervous to even speak to a bad latina .
 
Originally Posted by Young Handsome

What is his race?
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EDIT: from the penis description, he must be white.

Not sure what does race has to do with this , but yeah we're White , Italian just to be more specific .
 
Originally Posted by BasedOMG

Originally Posted by thenewjs23

Bro its 2 in the am and you write a dissertation. I did not read any of it.


I will say that you should remind your cousin that its only poon tang and stop putting it on a pedestal.

Dude ..
I'm nervous , one of my family members is considering killing themselves .
Bad enough he had me running out in the middle of the night .
Allot of cries for sucide is for attention. Anyone that really wants to do will not let you know they want to end it all. They will just do it. 
Give him some attention and he will be as good as new. 
 
He needs some help, he is self harming with an Iron. Tell his people to keep an eye on him.
At this point, If I were you I wouldn't leave his side.Just chill with him and get him out the house and away from the computer.
Going to an arcade to play games would be a good start


His music taste and penis side are irrelevant right now, just get him interacting with people, maybe some of your friends.
One direction rules though





He sounds lonely
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Among the things that he told you, did he say he was molested?
 
Originally Posted by IluvJordanXI

Seriously I think youre trolling and I laugh at the idea of placing a iron on his own face
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not trolling , and i didn't say he put an iron on his face .
I said the mark on his face looked as if he placed a iron on it .
 
Originally Posted by BasedOMG

Originally Posted by GRideBounca11

Dude be a real family member. Shell out some cash and get the poor boy laid. Get that boy a nice spanish girl with a cake. After his first nut , he will be singing a different tune. The point isnt to get him laid really, but to help him understand P is just p, nothing to obsess and kill yourself over.

I would hook him up with Dominican girl i know from my old school who's down for anything that has to do with drinking or smoking but he does neither nor he wants too . Besides, i think he would be too nervous to even speak to a bad latina .
Bro you need to lace or spike this dude with some substance and have some fun, see what happens. 
 
tell him to hit up his friends from HS. he def needs to step outside more. remind him being caged in his man cave will not get him any yambs. try putting him on some foambs, snapbacks, tattoos, and a twitter account because thats an automatic yambs.
 
I'm going to hang out with all day tomorrow and I'll try my best to convince him to go outside to eat at a restaurant , hopefully he'll talk to the cashier if it's a girl .
 
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