Need help getting back at a roomate - 5 weeks left of college

[jking0821]

Hey NT so I need some help getting back at a roomate I lived with for 3 years. I live in a 2 bedroom appartment, share a room with one other guy who is cooland have no beef with him. This past term we've been going home every weekend to work so dirty roomate has been sleeping/smashing in my bed. Two weeks agoI noticed a rash on my side, I went home on Thurs and it went away. Last week I got another rash, slept with my shirt on except for one night and the day aftergot a rash. Took my sheets home to wash and left some items on my bed in certain places, came back today and they are all over along with hair all over mybed. The kid is filthy, norm I wouldn't mind if someone slept in my bed but him and his fat jumpoff are just gross.

Last week found a condom wrapper in my bathroom, durax? me or roomate don't use durax. Roomate found like body gel in his sink. Dirty roomate is def livingin our room on weekends not to mention for the past 2 years hes used all my dishes/pots/pans and left them dirty. Not to mention all the food that has"gone missing" from my cabinet as well as my other roomates.

So I got 5 weeks left and I kinda want to teach this kid a lesson. Beating him up or bully beatdown is out of the picture, hes small and scrawny is justwouldn't be fair to fight him. Anyone got any ideas how to get this kid back?

Cliffnotes:
- Dirty roomate smashing in my bed when I'm not there.
- Steals food, leaves appartment a mess
- Time for payback, need ideas.

 

[lazy b]

Punch him in the face. %!+* him being small. He blatantly disrespected you. You might not be able to walk at graduation but you'll still get your degree.

 

[dapper d]

Violence...

 

[biggie62]

Sell some of his stuff at a pawn shop while he's away.

 

[officerricky]

ask him mom to clean his filth then proceed to smash her on his bed so he can have a rash too

 

[archnoobie]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

........Two weeks ago I noticed a rash on my side, I went home on Thurs and it went away. Last week I got another rash, slept with my shirt on except for one night and the day after got a rash.......

He doesn't care about your physical well being and yet you still care for his?

I'd beat his %+% if he were a ******

 

[lazy b]

Originally Posted by archnoobie

Originally Posted by Jking0821

........Two weeks ago I noticed a rash on my side, I went home on Thurs and it went away. Last week I got another rash, slept with my shirt on except for one night and the day after got a rash.......

He doesn't care about your physical well being and yet you still care for his.

I'd beat his %%* if he were a ******

Basically. If you don't do anything you are soft OP. He's exposing everyone in the apartment to disease but you don't want to hurt him. Okay

. If you really want to fight him, do it the last day he's there.

 

[miketysonthekiller]

Originally Posted by archnoobie

Originally Posted by Jking0821

........Two weeks ago I noticed a rash on my side, I went home on Thurs and it went away. Last week I got another rash, slept with my shirt on except for one night and the day after got a rash.......

He doesn't care about your physical well being and yet you still care for his?

I'd beat his %+% if he were a ******

I don't get the ****** part. lol

 

[dayman]

jizz in some of the food that gets supposedly missing...after he eats it, tell him.

 

[a hunnid]

- Dirty roomate smashing in my bed when I'm not there.
Found that too funny

Couldn't be me tho/ situation should've been taken care of...

Stand on his bed w/ some muddy acg's on and take a leak on his sheets (That's if you wanna take the non-violent route)

 

[jdocs]

4 words.

Toothbrush in the bum.

 

[zeen1ne]

pfftt ur slackin...I would..

-fap 3x a day and cum in a cup for a week then pour it on his pillow (inside the pillow case)
-do madd pushups/run in place/jumping jacks and with the pillow case i'd wipe the sweat off me
-let eggs rot and stick em in the corner of his closet, inside shoe boxes, inside pockets of clothing
-spit on his bed
-piss on his socks

idk do sum nasty %%% @!%@

 

[cotyoulookn]

sign up for MTVs Bully Beatdown

 

[soltheman]

1. Post a sign on the door of the apartment that says "NO BBW/FAT @$+!$%* ALLOWED," for his jumpoff. Preferably when you know he's coming backwith her. Or if she is known to just stop by.

2. When you leave for home on weekends, sprinkle your sheets with anthrax, if you can get some.

Otherwise, sugar works well. It won't get messy/sticky unless someone isdoing stuff on it. So, if he and his fat girl get it on, lulz will ensue.

3. Place food items with laxatives in your fridge, and alert your cool roommate of which ones have laxatives and which ones don't. But, don't make itobvious. For example, make a whole batch of brownies while your dirty roommate is away and dispose of like 3/4ths it. That way, the dirty roommate will be moreinclined to eat it. Just be sure to put the stuff you're throwing away somewhere that the dirty roommate won't find it.

4. If you know where your dirty roommate's girl hangs around, go there with your cool roommate. Then, be sure to loudly bring up a story about your dirtyroommate having a random STD. Preferably something like herpes, since it's likely that the girl has had some rashes if you have.

5. Slowly start to steal your dirty roommate's clothing. Not like shirts and stuff, but socks. Things that go un-noticed. It's not really major, butit's super annoying.

6. Pour beer/alcohol in his shoes.

7. Jump him.

 

[doublejs07]

Why didn't you wash your sheets the first time you noticed the rash? That's trifling...

also, why didn't you confront the dirty dude sleeping in your bed? On top of it all, you found a condom wrapper in your bathroom LAST WEEK, so you knewdude smashed....

this is punch worthy, not thread worthy....man up.

 

[the north west]

if you do something you better wait til you bout to move out

 

[jking0821]

alright for those that said jump him... i'm looking for something more creative. Pic for your laughs below, like I can't jump him it just wouldn'taccomplish anything.

So I'm thinking about buying a new seat of sheets, I always see them on sale for like 9 bucks in random colors and spraying something on them. Can anyonethink of anything to spray on them that would like affect him but once I remove them I can put my clean sheets back on? He also uses our bathroom and stealstoilet paper so maybe I can just spray it on there.

 

[auszero]

butter the floor there is a vid on youtube of it. hilarious

 

[soltheman]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

alright for those that said jump him... i'm looking for something more creative. Pic for your laughs below, like I can't jump him it just wouldn't accomplish anything.

So I'm thinking about buying a new seat of sheets, I always see them on sale for like 9 bucks in random colors and spraying something on them. Can anyone think of anything to spray on them that would like affect him but once I remove them I can put my clean sheets back on? He also uses our bathroom and steals toilet paper so maybe I can just spray it on there.

Spray bug spray on the TP. For the most part, people don't realize the smell, and it'll make him all itchy down there. (pause.)

Also, use the sugar idea! After it gets heated up and it gets stuck to them from all their bodily juices (pause) it'll cool down and crystalize. it'lltake lulz to levels previously never heard of!

 

[archnoobie]

Originally Posted by AusZero

butter the floor there is a vid on youtube of it. hilarious

 

[auszero]

I also remember hearing that you can take the pineapple flavored life saver and unscrew the shower head and place them in there. When he showers the hot watermelts them and covers his body in sticky liquid sugar. OR you could take shaving cream, the real stuff not the gel, in a can and freeze it. Then cut thealuminum can off and youre left with a brick of frozen shaving cream. Hide said brick in his room and as it melts it will expand. Best used it drawers

 

[htownhooper31]

There's no lock on your door?

 

[sigmakidownz]

Originally Posted by archnoobie

Originally Posted by AusZero

butter the floor there is a vid on youtube of it. hilarious

I remember that

Destroy this fool

 

[psykho]

Play a prank on his #@% while he is alseep

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by htownhooper31

There's no lock on your door?

Our appartment is the only door with a real lock, like with a key. You can lock the bedroom doors from the inside but its one of those dumb likestick anything small in the whole and pop the lock out doors.