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I guess, I am still not breaking the bank for something so trivial though.
NEW TREND...ENGAGEMENT WATCHES...CHICKS'S GET RINGS...WE GET WATCHES
- Thread in 'General' Thread starter Started by elderwatsondiggs,
- Start date
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Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican
I guess, I am still not breaking the bank for something so trivial though.
I feel you, we are night and day though, I'm a very materialistic dude, specially when it comes to giving gifts to others, I blew 350$ on a coat for my 2 year old niece
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Understandable, respect. Don't confuse a smile on someone's face with happiness though. That is all I will say.
|A-Man|
formerly atgd7154xbbxmz
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New trend..... stop getting engaged, don't get married.
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no one shouldOriginally Posted by DCAllAmerican
I guess, I am still not breaking the bank for something so trivial though.
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You're right. $800 on an $80k salary is hardly breaking the bank though. It's a damn paycheck.Originally Posted by Dirtylicious
no one shouldOriginally Posted by DCAllAmerican
I guess, I am still not breaking the bank for something so trivial though.
Engagement rings are all show. When that time comes, I'm going to put something on my future wife's finger that will make all her friends
She already knows I love her. I don't need a ring to tell her that.
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buy quality though....don't get the bigger rock with a crap cut
honestly... when i bought mine..I wasn't even thinking about how everyone else would react to it.. just wanted her to be happy with it
honestly... when i bought mine..I wasn't even thinking about how everyone else would react to it.. just wanted her to be happy with it
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^ But those two things are intertwined Dirty. If she gets a ring that people think doesn't look good, it will eat at her. People want nice things and they want others to talk about how nice those things are.
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ill take a watch. great idea
its also harder losing a watch.
its also harder losing a watch.
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Originally Posted by ksteezy
SC - in not bashing anyone! And please take your own advice and read my posts, I never said go blow 3 mints salary on the ring, YOU GET WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD...bashing is what your peeps are doing, I'm not against people spending their money as they see fit!...hold up mirror to exactly what you just said, please...that's the only way itll make sense.
I never said the amount of money spent on the ring equates how much you love her, you get what you can afford...but the whole argument here is about you guys having a problem with material things representing love, that is nothing new, as a kid you got material gifts during Xmas which brought you happiness, as an adult you bought yourself your own car which made you happy, as you make more money you will probably buy your mother material things which in turn will make her happy, as you meet the woman you want to committ to, you know she'll want a ring (most women do, not all) all of a sudden the idea of giving something material to make them happy stops....if you've never bought anyone anything with the intent of putting a smile on their face, then I understand where you are coming from, from DCs previous post I wouldn't be surprised if that's his case though....I think if son could walk outside naked he would
I never said you said that. I was talking about where you implied me and others wouldn't buy anything for anyone else even if we had money. If that wasn't what you meant, my mistake.
It's not just materials representing love that I have a problem with, it's that the amount of money you spend on materials to measure love (which some people here are saying) which I disagree with. I have and will always give gifts to people as a token of my appreciation. But don't get me wrong. I don't believe that by giving them something more expensive (whether or not you can afford it) you show you love them more.
I've said it multiple times before and I'll say it again. I'm not against giving any girl a ring. I'm against giving her an expensive one (regardless of how much I make) and letting her use that as a judgment of the amount I care for her. It really shouldn't matter, how much I spend. In fact, I would love to see someone say that to me later on in my life. "Oh... you only got me this $1000 ring? I thought you were going to get me the $30,000 one. I really thought you loved me." Who thinks like that? I don't care which side of the giving you're on... if you want to use a monetary value to judge whether someone cares about you or not, do your thing. That's not me.
I buy people things I know they'll appreciate. Something they depend on, that really makes a difference in their lives. A ring is great. It really is. But guess what? Unless your girl is very successful, she probably has other things nagging at her. Bills. Car payments. House payments. Furniture. How can you even try to justify spending extra money on a ring when she NEEDS other things? It's not like you're giving her a shake weight just for jokes. You're going to be giving her something she'll use for quite a while. Imagine I give my girl an Acura sedan with a big red bow on it. She's going to be driving that every day till it burns to the ground. Yes, she might wear her ring every day and flaunt it, whatever. That doesn't help her get to work.
isn't that point of a gift tho?...
giving the person something you know they would like or want..regardless of your feelings on it.
case in point:
I just gave my sister the nastiest and ugliest pair of plain white sneakers as part of her Xmas gift...as someone who collects, they were an affront to everything I value to sneakers....but I knew she wanted them... so I got them
You're right, that is the point of a gift. To give them something they would like or want.
Now say you're in the position that many new couples are in. About to buy a new home, settle down, you know, that stuff. Are you trying to tell me that they wouldn't like or want some money for the house? I'm sure they'd love that.
I'm not saying that you give them something they really don't want. I'm saying that people have multiple wants and needs and likes and that you can get them something they want/like/need that you also approve of, since it's your gift. I mean, if your 6 year old nephew loves Call of Duty, that doesn't mean you're going to get him a copy. It's a violent game. He might want it with all his heart, but you feel like it isn't necessary. Instead, you get him the toy car that he also really loves and that you like. In the end, everyone wins.
This is all in the case that we're assuming the girl wants an expensive ring and you aren't balling. Look, I have no issue getting anyone something as long as it isn't a major purchase. I mean, I wouldn't openly do it but I'd do it. But if it involves a couple thousand dollars, best believe I'm choosing something that I feel is a good gift.
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we are getting off topic sc, but let me ask you this..
-would you give your co-worker a gift of equal value as the one you would give your mother?...if not why?....if yes why?
i think you are biased on this topic, because at 17 i doubt you are making enough money to be gifting everyone you know....perhaps when you start working and is your turn to give instead of receive during the holidays you might understand how we do in fact somewhat measure how much we appreciate those around us by how much money we are willing to spend on them, all considering and staying relative to the amount of money you make.
-would you give your co-worker a gift of equal value as the one you would give your mother?...if not why?....if yes why?
i think you are biased on this topic, because at 17 i doubt you are making enough money to be gifting everyone you know....perhaps when you start working and is your turn to give instead of receive during the holidays you might understand how we do in fact somewhat measure how much we appreciate those around us by how much money we are willing to spend on them, all considering and staying relative to the amount of money you make.
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and bro...i dont know about other women, but let me come home on her birthday with a 320$ check so that she can cover her car payment
this is when i say you honestly need to live a little more and live thiongs first hand to be able to speak on them....i feel alot of the things you say, although they sound like logic are actually not, is like you read them in a book somewhere, unfortunately thats not life bro.
to add, you keep bringing up buying a home, is setting aside XXX amount of money for a ring ALL WHILE STAYING RELATIVE TO WHAT YOU MAKE, really going to come in between your dream of buying a home??....remember a home you buy together, the ring is just your spending.....yu guys making it sound like you must get a kim k style engagement ring, they make engagement rings for all sorts of incomes to be able to afford....ya so caught up being extremists in attempts to prove a point.
to add, you keep bringing up buying a home, is setting aside XXX amount of money for a ring ALL WHILE STAYING RELATIVE TO WHAT YOU MAKE, really going to come in between your dream of buying a home??....remember a home you buy together, the ring is just your spending.....yu guys making it sound like you must get a kim k style engagement ring, they make engagement rings for all sorts of incomes to be able to afford....ya so caught up being extremists in attempts to prove a point.
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There is a difference between
A. Spending more on someone because of how much you love them compared to someone you hardly know.
and
B. Spending more on someone to PROVE how much you love them
Big difference there. Yes you are more likely to spend $$$ on someone if you have history on them, but the actually dollar amount that you spend is not a direct correlation to the amount of love you have for that person.
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Well in this case, you're right. My age does mean I don't make enough money to really even decide how much I want to spend on gifts. Everyone pretty much gets the bare minimum
Right now everyone gets the same gifts. Usually I'll take them out for a meal. That's what I've done with my parents, my family and my close friends. I have no problems giving anyone a gift equal to what I gave my mom, and I have no problem giving them something far more valuable or far less valuable. When I give gifts, the first thing I think about is "what does this person really want right now?". Fair enough, right?
Then I make a mental list, like "alright, he broke his headphones last week. Some headphones would be good. Oh, he also loves coffee. Maybe some Dunkin Donuts roast. Or he's a big car fan. I'll get him a copy of Forza for the Xbox." My mind doesn't go "alright, I don't like my coworker as much as I love my mom, and I got my mom a $100 gift card, so coworker gets $50". I get them what really hits home and gives them lasting appreciation.
But there you have it. I'm 17 right now and don't make nearly as much in a year as you do in a month. I still buy gifts for people though. Does that mean I love them less than you love your people? Of course not. We have different circumstances. Now if you want to continue that thought process and justify why you bought your wife a ring, I have no problems. You know I don't have any issue with whatever you do with your money. But realize that I will not do the same.
Will I be wealthy in my lifetime? Maybe. Look. If I had all the resources in the world, I'd buy you, ksteezy, a yacht. Whatever you want. With that being said, I don't have all the resources in the world, and neither do many other people in both of our situations. Therefore, I see no problem with them buying "different" gifts for their loved ones.
In case you didn't already know, I have no problem spending diamond ring money on someone I love. I'm just not going to spend diamond ring money on a diamond ring. I'll spend it on a car, and a home or something else. Something they also like/love, and something I feel would be great for their lives. Win-win.
Originally Posted by ksteezy
and bro...i dont know about other women, but let me come home on her birthday with a 320$ check so that she can cover her car paymentthis is when i say you honestly need to live a little more and live thiongs first hand to be able to speak on them....i feel alot of the things you say, although they sound like logic are actually not, is like you read them in a book somewhere, unfortunately thats not life bro.
to add, you keep bringing up buying a home, is setting aside XXX amount of money for a ring ALL WHILE STAYING RELATIVE TO WHAT YOU MAKE, really going to come in between your dream of buying a home??....remember a home you buy together, the ring is just your spending.....yu guys making it sound like you must get a kim k style engagement ring, they make engagement rings for all sorts of incomes to be able to afford....ya so caught up being extremists in attempts to prove a point.
Do you want me to go on another account and tell people I'm 40 and married just to have you view my posts as credible? I don't want to hear about how I need to "live a little more" and how what I say "sounds like it's from a book". Would you say that if I was 40? Would you call me out for experience then? Right now you're using my lack of experience as a reason to denounce my credibility just because you know I lack experience. In an argument, you never look at the person saying it, you look at what is being said. I learned that in 10th grade logic class.
I could just as easily lie and tell people I've done all kinds of things I've never done. It's the internet. One click of a button and I become a whole other person. That just goes to show you how far "experience" on the internet goes. You know why I don't do that? Because I don't need to get my point across that badly. It's not like I'm pretending to be someone to save you from an ambush. I'm expressing my opinion, and you're using that little box that says "Age: 18" on my profile to back up your argument.
If that's how we roll, then I don't expect to see you in any threads regarding fancy cars. You don't have the experience. I don't expect to see you post in any threads talking about high school or college. That was decades ago for you. Don't have the experience in today's world. For that matter, don't even enter a thread talking about anything you don't have experience in. You see how stupid this line of thinking is? When I read posts on NT, I read the post. I don't even look at the username until I'm done reading. If I like a post, I'll be like damn, that was great
If you disagree with my posts because of my posts, continue to discuss. If you disagree with my posts because you feel like I'm not legit enough to have a voice on the opinion, congratulations. I've never been to the real world. Tell me, do they do that a lot there? How about in a court room?
I'm not saying you have to accept everyone you meet. I'm not going to tell you what is a good way to operate. If you want to restrict yourself by shutting out everyone with inadequate experience, then by all means, restrict yourself. You're the only one who can lose in that situation.
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nobody is saying i love my people more than you do based on what i spend
you talk about twisting things around and thats what you continue doing
notice i keep saying RELATIVE TO WHAT YOU MAKE....i make more so i tend to spend more, you make less so you spend less, doesnt mean im demonstrating more love, if you had MJ money, you'd still treat your mama to lunch and do the same for your next door neighbor?....cmon man.
notice i keep saying RELATIVE TO WHAT YOU MAKE....i make more so i tend to spend more, you make less so you spend less, doesnt mean im demonstrating more love, if you had MJ money, you'd still treat your mama to lunch and do the same for your next door neighbor?....cmon man.
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Originally Posted by ksteezy
nobody is saying i love my people more than you do based on what i spendyou talk about twisting things around and thats what you continue doing
notice i keep saying RELATIVE TO WHAT YOU MAKE....i make more so i tend to spend more, you make less so you spend less, doesnt mean im demonstrating more love, if you had MJ money, you'd still treat your mama to lunch and do the same for your next door neighbor?....cmon man.
Remind me again, what your question was then? It was "would you spend more money on your mom or a coworker?"
Here's the quick and simple answer. I'll treat you better if I know you better. Now are you trying to say that if I spent more money on friend A than friend B, I like friend A more than friend B? I know you're not saying that. I'll spend more money on my mom than anyone else. She was there since day 1. And I'll spend more money on a gift for my close friend, who has held it down since before I even knew how to read, more than I will for some chick who I met 10 years later in high school.
Now that you know I'll spend more money on my mom than someone else, what conclusion are you going to draw? That since I love my mom more than anyone else, and since I spend more money on my mom than anyone else, then logically, it must be that for the people I love I spend more money for? (That's not a reasonable conclusion BTW).
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Tis life DC. Sorry you don't agree with how things work.
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my boy got engaged a few months ago, i should let him know
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ok ok, since the word LOVE is where people get touchy, lets use the word appreciation, the more you appreciate someone, the easier it is for you to spend XXXX amount of money on them....either way ill give you a few years till you start making real money and perhaps your views will change..
and yes my question remains should you have the money to spend "would you spend more money on your co-worker or your moms" ...since thats a bit extreme, would you spend more money on the girl youve been with for over a year and you love or the friend youve known for 2 years?....you know the friend longer, yet be completely honest and tell me you wont put more effort and money should you have it on the girl.
like i said,i like you and how you carry yourself for being so young, definately alot more respectful and easier to get into a discussion with than others and thats appreciated, but alot of your points are skewed and based on what youve seen others experienced or what youve read in a book somewhere and always try to be so politically correct...
and yes my question remains should you have the money to spend "would you spend more money on your co-worker or your moms" ...since thats a bit extreme, would you spend more money on the girl youve been with for over a year and you love or the friend youve known for 2 years?....you know the friend longer, yet be completely honest and tell me you wont put more effort and money should you have it on the girl.
like i said,i like you and how you carry yourself for being so young, definately alot more respectful and easier to get into a discussion with than others and thats appreciated, but alot of your points are skewed and based on what youve seen others experienced or what youve read in a book somewhere and always try to be so politically correct...
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But people wouldn't tell her the ring sucks anyways.
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and you are right SC, i rarely post in the car thread, i rarely post in a college thread unless is someone looking for info on something similar to what i do, when it comes to discussions, i stick to what i know and lived, i dont go into the music forum, the only threads you will actively see me posting in, is relationship threads, the dressing better thread, the photography thread, those are things i know and thats ususally the threads i get into heated debates with some nters about.....i dont go writing walls of texts in threads I dont have first hand experience with, go through my post history....if we didnt know your age, i still wouldnt agree with what you say, just like i dont see eye to eye with silly whos older or DC for the most part on this matter, i just wouldnt know the reason why i dont agree with you, if anything im giving you props, because you are years ahead of your time, but no bro....you donot know it all and you are not always right.
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But we can always change this way of thinking and there would be nothing wrong with that.
There was a time when simply writing a letter to someone was the best gift.
I think the fact that you are older and make money also makes you bias and easily willing to conform to what others think is right.
If you were dirt poor,u would find and alternative to that 250 jacket and your niece would have loved it cause she loves you and the gift is from you.
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exactly, its all personal preference!!!!...im i going to talk down on DC for not getting his girl anything on valentines day???....or handcrafting a valentines day card instead of buying her an ipad or something, hell nooo...thats his life his choice, but thats not whats going on in this thread, we have this dude silly demanding reasons as to why i would spend xxxx amount of money on a ring simply because is a tradition to me and my wife, since those traditions dont make sense to him, he wants to talk down on it, clown it, discredit it.....
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That's fine and completely reasonable to wait and see what happens later on. I only asked that you didn't shoot down my ideas as they stand right now.
Do you know the first thing I'm going to do with I come up? I'm know exactly what I'm going to give people, and in what order. First off, I'm taking my parents out for a meal. They are set for life and nothing material I can give them will make them happier. Then, I'm giving back to the teachers who helped me succeed through high school and make that step to college. I'm buying one teacher a sports car and another one a trip to Latin America. Then I'm buying some friends some cars. I'm getting one a Lamborghini roadster, another one a Porsche 911 and a Ferrari 458 for another.
These people have given me more than I can ever ask for and as a result, I will treat them better than anyone else. I don't know who I meet later on or what I do with my life, but I need to give back to these people no matter what. Any girl I like would understand that, and I hope she does the same for the people in her life. I really hope she doesn't go out of her way to pamper me without looking at the other people who were there before me.
Again, no hard feelings. I'm sure you know the feeling when you prepare a presentation for a class or your work or something and people shut it down saying stuff like "how would you know that? Were you there? Have you done it?". It's all good though. You've kept it 100% honest and again, I'm not criticizing the way you live - do your thing.
And for the record, I don't read and I'm the opposite of politically correct
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true and who still uses watching? i just use my phone or computer
